cremeishere
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“I have nothing to admit, my darling.”
Ed scoffs, “Whatever, mate! It’s obvious to anyone who has fuckin eyes -“
“It is not!”
“It is so!” Ed retorts, leveling Stede with a seductive stare, “Admit it, Bonnet. You’ve got the hots for Applejack.”
…
Ever since Ed brought up the silly notion that Stede’s got a crush on their newest employee, it tumbled into something unexpected.
A sort of chase, if you will. A cat and mouse game.
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Slowly Stede turns towards the knife, his face drenched in confusion before simply saying, “Ow.”
Oh, God. Ed missed his target by a fucking mile.
....
A canon divergence fic that asks the brave question: What if Ed did stab Stede in S1EP6? -
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Summary
Stede B. Bonnet: Huh?
Edward Teach: accident
Edward Teach: ignore.
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A month after breaking up, Edward Teach accidently sends an Instagram notification to his ex-boyfriend. -
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“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”
“Please! Please, I need help!”
“Okay - okay, I need you to remain calm. Tell me what’s going on.”
“My fiancé, he’s - oh fucking hell! He’s not breathing!”
...
After the passing of his fiancé, Edward Teach is left to deal with the aftermath.This is a story about grief.
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Alma grabs the TV remote and starts pressing buttons. The TV goes black for a split second before it goes bright pink. It takes a moment for Ed’s eyes to adjust, but once it does, Ed can feel his stomach sink down to his toes.
On the screen looks like the cover of a generic PowerPoint presentation. There are cliparts of hearts, kissy-faces, and blinged-out rings plastered everywhere. Smack in the middle are bolded white text that reads:
TOP 10 REASONS YOU SHOULD PROPOSE TO OUR DAD (STEDE BONNET): BY ALMA AND LOUIS BONNET
. . .
Ed can't imagine his life being any more perfect. He has a beautiful home, a wonderful partner, and two brand-new kids to boot. The last thing on his bucket list is to propose to his long-term boyfriend, Stede Bonnet.
The problem? Proposals are hard to plan. Much harder than Ed anticipated. And it seems like the most unexpected people are starting to feel impatient...
Series
- Part 3 of Not flesh and blood, but the heart
Recent series
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Summary
The scared-of-kids-turned-step-dad Edward Teach saga <3
- Words:
- 27,809
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 16
Recent bookmarks
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Ed finds Stede's journal, describing all the things he wants to learn about sex between men but doesn't dare ask about. Ed, of course, feels he's the exact right person to offer practical demonstrations on the subject.
~~~~~
A season 1 canon-divergence AU set after The Art of Fuckery
Bookmarked by cremeishere
16 May 2026
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Familiar Places by Bazzle
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Our Flag Means Death (TV)
11 Sep 2023
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Summary
After watching Aziraphale leave him, Crowley decides to try to sleep off the grief. A terrible nightmare makes his powers go haywire and he accidentally travels back in time to 1717 where he finds himself in a bar in Tortuga. He shares a drink with a man named Ed who he seems to have a lot in common with. A lot in common. The easiest way to comfort each other and distract themselves is to spend the night together.
________________________________“Why are you miserable?” Ed asks sharply.
“Now that’s not fair,” Crowley points at him over his glass. “I asked you first.”
Ed blinks at him.
“Why would I talk to you about it?”
“Because I’m here,” Crowley shrugs, “and no one else is.”
Bookmarked by cremeishere
14 May 2026
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Summary
Ed and Stede have survived storms and scarcity, hardship and heartbreak to make their ways back to each other.
Now they have to figure out how to be together.
Fortunately, they have all the time in the world.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,473
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Comments:
- 1,194
- Kudos:
- 566
- Bookmarks:
- 175
- Hits:
- 15,529
Bookmarked by cremeishere
31 Jul 2025
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Summary
In the long-ago year 2000, bouncy blonde boy-band member Stede Bonnet is 17-year-old Edward Teach's gay awakening.
Decades later, Ed hears a voice he could never forget.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,087
- Chapters:
- 24/24
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 771
- Kudos:
- 993
- Bookmarks:
- 208
- Hits:
- 19,762
Bookmarked by cremeishere
07 Jul 2025
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Summary
On top of being cursed with devastating good looks (okay, he was already handsome before the curse, just ask his mama) that bring potential suitors to his door at fuck off o’clock in the morning when he hasn’t even had his coffee yet—seriously, where the fuck is his fucking coffee maker?—he also turns into a cat. Yep. So that’s been an adjustment.
As far as curses go, that part honestly hasn’t been so bad. The rest, though…
~*~
Ed is the most wanted man in town, and he has announced that he'll only marry the one who can open his front door with the key around his cat's neck. Plot twist: Ed is the cat, and he does not want to be caught.
this is my blanket permission for anyone to podfic, remix, repod, make art, or otherwise create derivative works of my fics! All I ask is that you link back to my work as the inspiration.
Bookmarked by cremeishere
07 Jul 2025