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Dad...I’m Bilingual by Sohotthateveryonedied
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
20 Jun 2021
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Summary
Dick hums—a quiet, sleepy sound. He’s drifting, but only slightly. The painkillers are doing their job. “It’s dumb,” he says. “I can beat up bad guys an’ stop an apocalypse, but I can’t even tell my own dad I’m bilingual.”
Bruce just stares at him. Realization kicks in a moment later. “Do you mean bisexual?”
“Yeah, bionical.” He said that, didn’t he? Bruce must be getting slow in his old age.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,496
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 4,697
- Bookmarks:
- 491
- Hits:
- 23,462
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
08 Jul 2026
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Mindfuck by GarbageWaste6
Fandoms: Justice League - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types
01 Oct 2024
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Summary
In which Bruce is the unwilling recipient of a curse that gives him the ability to read the minds of his peers. Things come to light, secrets are spilled and how the FUCK does J’onn do it?! Bruce doesn’t kill but he sure is rethinking that rule of his.
Aka everyone is feral for Batman and Bruce doesn’t understand why (Captain Marvel is innocent!)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
08 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Bruce,” Clark finally said, brokenly. “I love you.”
Oh no, thought Bruce. He's possessed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,956
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 99
- Kudos:
- 2,545
- Bookmarks:
- 401
- Hits:
- 20,107
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
08 Jul 2026
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all that I have to lose by dizarys
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics), Robin (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics)
09 May 2022
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Summary
Four times Bruce protected his boys not as Batman and Robin, but as their dad.
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Bruce darted towards him. Hands grabbed for Bruce’s jacket as everyone ran the other way off stage. But he didn’t slow down.
“Jason!” With barely seconds to spare, Bruce seized Jason's reaching hand.*This series has no specific reading order*
Series
- Part 22 of took a little time to make a little better
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,962
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 2,282
- Bookmarks:
- 333
- Hits:
- 18,435
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
04 Jul 2026
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Team Bonding Gone Bat Shit Crazy by AshesGleamandGlow, DuskyAshe (AshesGleamandGlow)
Fandoms: Justice League - All Media Types
21 Jul 2023
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Summary
Bruce honestly should have expected this from Hal, Oliver, and Barry. The fact all three of them had been listed as the organizers of the day's "team bonding" meeting really should have tipped him off to what was in store for him, but somehow, he just hadn't expected to find himself playing preteen girl games when he walked into the meeting room today. If he was going to have to sit through his co-workers wax poetic about his physical assets, well, petty payback was a game his children had delighted in teaching him how to play. He's just happy Dick was there to record the entire thing for posterity's sake, though he could have done with less laughter at his own expense.
(Tagged mature for the sheer number of f-bombs dropped within the span of 700~ words)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
03 Jul 2026
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Nails and braids by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
11 Oct 2022
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Summary
Jason swallowed his pride and went down into the cave, finding one of the strangest spectacles ever: Dick, in his Nightwing costume, with Stephanie and Tim manicuring him.
Correction, Stephanie was giving him a manicure, Tim was digging into a purse looking for who knows what.
Not even the shadow of Batman.
"What the hell ..."
"Hi, Jaybird," Dick greeted him cheerfully, with a clear warning in his eyes.
Don't try to swear while the kids are here, asshole.
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Sibilings bonding time. Aka how self-care became a family tradition, and a way to connect.
Series
- Part 3 of Bat babies
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,327
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 141
- Kudos:
- 3,064
- Bookmarks:
- 151
- Hits:
- 32,220
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
02 Jul 2026
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Sacrifice by nightwalker
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
18 May 2024
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Summary
As far as alien invasions go, this one was pretty smooth. At least it was right up until the aliens demanded a sacrifice. A child sacrifice.
Batman's child.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,442
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 213
- Kudos:
- 11,056
- Bookmarks:
- 2,181
- Hits:
- 61,311
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
02 Jul 2026
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Summary
When Damian is accidentally turned into a baby each of his family members gets a chance to take care of him. Cue adorable baby faces, Dick being delighted, and Bruce surprised at finding out just how much all his kids have grown.
Series
- Part 4 of Batfam Week 2017
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,307
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 78
- Kudos:
- 3,049
- Bookmarks:
- 593
- Hits:
- 31,639
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
01 Jul 2026
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itty bitty, teeny tiny, little slutty skirt by CherriOnTop for qqquack
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
31 May 2025
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Summary
The 5 times Draco wore tiny skirts after a breakup and the 1 time he didn't have to (but did anyway)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
“No, listen. Malfoy is my enemy. It’s basically official at this point. You don’t just- just get a new one halfway through our final year.”
Hermione closed her book slowly. “Are you feeling... territorial?”
“It’s the principle of the thing,” Harry snapped. “You can’t abandon years of perfectly functional antagonism for some flashy new rival from overseas. It’s rude.”
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Eight years after the war, everything is relatively calm. But everything is so different. Harry is confused.
Draco sees things. Draco is attached to the hip with Luna Lovegood. Draco is the only one who understands what Luna is saying. Draco no longer has a smug smirk but the dreamy smile and floating attitude that much rivals Luna. And the white blond hair makes them look like blood siblings. How does Malfoy know everything that's going to happen or is happening? And why does that fucker has to be so pretty? Why is Harry jealous? How do they save Hermione and Narcissa's life?
Or, Harry can't let his obsession with Malfoy go and during saving their friends and family, he realises his feelings for a certain blond.
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Draco Malfoy has a boyfriend.
Nobody knows who it is, no matter how many times Harry asks anyone who will listen. It’s definitely not taking up Harry’s every single thought. He can most certainly focus on other things, like schoolwork and Christmas presents.
When somebody slips to the Prophet that the mystery boyfriend is in fact Harry, he doesn’t know who else would be bothered to lie other than Malfoy himself. With only the slightest persuasion, Harry decides to head on up to Malfoy’s bedroom to confront him on the matter.
He should’ve known Malfoy would bite back.
Series
- Part 5 of cloudings’ annual drarry XMAS fics
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
“You’re staring,” Malfoy says.
“I’m not.” Harry is. He just - he can’t see it.
“You can’t see it yet, Potter.” Malfoy sounds miffed.
“I’m not trying to,” Harry lies, finally tearing his eyes away; he looks out the window in a desperate attempt to get a single thought into his head that isn’t what the fuck.
“Look,” Malfoy says. “It’s not like I’m telling you that you have to be a part of its life. I only-”
“How do you know it’s mine?” The question is out of his mouth before Harry can think better of it, and he immediately regrets it because of the way Malfoy’s face shutters, turns cold.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,512
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 275
- Kudos:
- 10,248
- Bookmarks:
- 1,766
- Hits:
- 117,993
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
29 Jun 2026
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He Has Kids?! by MrNickLower
Fandoms: DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic), Batman (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
Five Times the Justice League Was Shocked That Batman Lets Someone Touch Him…
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
28 Jun 2026
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Telling the Kids by pupeez4eva
Fandoms: Young Justice (Cartoon), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
05 May 2018
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Summary
Wherein each of Bruce's kids find out that he is Batman for the first time - and obviously don't believe him.
Series
- Part 4 of Identities Revealed! (...Sort of)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
28 Jun 2026
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The Joke's on You by pupeez4eva
Fandoms: Young Justice (Cartoon), Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
14 Oct 2017
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Summary
Apparently being unmasked by the Joker on live television STILL isn't enough to convince people that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Sequel to "The (Attempted) Big Reveal" and "The Simple Solution is Never Simple."
Series
- Part 3 of Identities Revealed! (...Sort of)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
28 Jun 2026
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The Simple Solution Is Never Simple by pupeez4eva
Fandoms: Young Justice (Cartoon), Justice League - All Media Types, DCU, Batman - All Media Types
18 Nov 2015
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Summary
The team won't believe that Bruce Wayne is Batman, but Robin has the perfect solution. After all, they'd HAVE to believe him if Batman took the cowl off, right? …Wrong. Sequel to "The (Attempted) Big Reveal."
Series
- Part 2 of Identities Revealed! (...Sort of)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
28 Jun 2026
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The (Attempted) Big Reveal by pupeez4eva
Fandoms: Young Justice (Cartoon), DCU, Batman - All Media Types
16 Nov 2015
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Summary
The team find out what Robin's identity is, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they discover Batman's. After all — Bruce Wayne couldn't POSSIBLY be Batman, right?
Series
- Part 1 of Identities Revealed! (...Sort of)
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
28 Jun 2026
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Everything Your Heart Desires by Speechless_since_1998
Fandoms: The Batman (Movie 2022), Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, DCU
19 Apr 2023
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Summary
"It wasn't your fight. It wasn't your war. So…thank you."
It was evident that he wasn't used to saying it often. Maybe it cost him to admit that he wasn't as strong as he wanted to show.
However, Superman felt like Batman gave him more credit than he deserved.
"There should never be thanks between us," he answered sincerely.
Seized by madness, he reached out and placed it on Batman's shoulder.
He should have taken it off. He found that he didn't want to.
He knew he'd crossed the line in their strange relationship, but Bruce didn't tell him to let go of his hand. It felt like he leaned into the touch.
He was about to speak when a voice interrupted him. "Hey, get your hands off him, you weirdo!"
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,849
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 140
- Kudos:
- 6,498
- Bookmarks:
- 629
- Hits:
- 52,822
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
28 Jun 2026
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Summary
In a universe where your soulmate’s injuries show up on your skin, Bruce is convinced he doesn’t have a soulmate, and Clark is seriously concerned for his soulmate’s well-being.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 68,792
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,959
- Kudos:
- 24,178
- Bookmarks:
- 4,457
- Hits:
- 441,337
Bookmarked by Funnel_cake
27 Jun 2026