Chapter Text
Between getting used to a new body, staying in a penthouse with a girl he'd literally given his life for, and trying to reintegrate into human society, Jinu's thoughts hadn't had a lot of time to catch up with him. By the third night in his new apartment, however, the stillness began to settle in, and all of his doubts and insecurities slowly flickered back to life. He craved the comfort of Rumi's voice, but he wouldn't allow her to see him struggling. The mask of confident nonchalance had to remain firmly in place. She was the type who would worry, and she had already helped him more than he deserved.
He laid in bed for all of five minutes before deciding it was simply too quiet. Reaching for his phone, he silently thanked modern technology for allowing him to have the entire Huntrix discography at his fingertips, letting out a sigh as Rumi's singing poured from the tiny speaker. Focusing solely on her, he closed his eyes.
Sleep was not kind to him. Images of fire, death, and betrayal whirled together in a twisted nightmare, distorted from reality and heightened in a way only possible in dreams. He stole souls from a mass of humans wearing the faces of his mother and sister. Rumi looked at him with sharp claws and golden eyes, sword at his throat, while her body burned to a crisp inside Gwi-Ma's gaping, fiery maw. The other Saja Boys danced to Soda Pop on the ashes of everyone he'd betrayed, gat's hiding their eyes so all that was visible were mouths full of jagged teeth.
A heavy weight pressing down on his chest made Jinu's eyes fly open, and he gasped for breath as trembling hands fought to free his lungs. As they came into contact with soft fur, he blinked, glancing down to his chest and into large, glowing, yellow eyes.
Fighting to steady his breathing, he gently but firmly nudged the tiger aside. "Get off. Please."
As the tiger did as he asked, his brain finally registered the sounds coming from his phone. Startled and confused, he shot up, grabbing for it to stare at the screen.
Someone had taken the scraps of "Takedown" that had been performed at the Idol Awards and cobbled them together with leaks of the cancelled song into an extended remix. Rumi's anguished face burst from his memories as he violently paused the track with shaking fingers, deafening silence quickly taking its place.
A soft head gently butting against his arm finally restarted his breathing.
"I'm alright," he murmured, gasping for breath. He buried his face in his hands, hunched over in his bed as he fought to calm down.
Jinu wasn't sure how much time had passed before a notification from his phone jerked him out of his stupor.
u ok? derpy seems upset
Rumi.
Blinking slowly, he glanced around his bedroom, seeing the tiger was in fact absent. He groaned, silently cursing as he thought of all the ways he would reprimand him for bothering Rumi at this hour. Not that anything would actually prevent the tiger from doing it again.
Another ping.
jinu?
With a sigh, Jinu made to type a response, knowing full well that if he ignored her for too long, the tiger might just drag her back to his place.
I'm fine. Sorry about the tiger. Go back to sleep.
Considering it was nearly 3 in the morning, he prayed that would be good enough. He wasn't sure he had the brainpower for further persuasion.
Rumi's ringtone quickly drowned out what little hope he'd had.
"I told you, I'm fine," he said, answering the call. He grimaced at how pinched and raw his voice sounded.
"Then why is Derpy pawing and grumbling at me in the middle of the night?"
Jinu could hear the tiger through the phone.
"Maybe he's hungry."
"Spirit tigers don't need to eat."
"Look, I don't—"
"Jinu."
Her firm tone cut him off. He opened his mouth, but closed it again when no more excuses seemed worthy of being judged by her. Rumi was the one to finally break the silence.
"What's wrong?"
Taking a calming breath, he begged his voice to come out strong.
"I just had a nightmare," he said, running his free hand through his disheveled hair. "That's all."
There was a pause before she spoke again, softness and understanding coating her words in a way that made Jinu's heart ache.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
The faces of his mother and sister, of Rumi, all twisted in horror, echoed in his skull. He swallowed, throat dry and cracked.
"Not really."
Another pause, longer this time. He was about to open his mouth, insist again that he was fine, when at last she spoke.
"I'm coming over."
The words hit him like a truck.
"What?" He willed confidence into his voice. "Rumi, just go back to sleep. Don't worry about me."
You're busy tomorrow. I don't want you to see me like this. I'm not worth the trouble.
"You don't have to talk about it." Her voice was so tender. "But it sounds like you could use some company right now."
I want that. I want you. I'm selfish for wanting you.
"I want to come over. Is that ok?"
She was asking permission. She was asking permission to come to him, to comfort him.
"Jinu?"
What did he ever do to deserve her kindness?
"...yeah." His voice cracked. He cleared his throat, trying again. "Yeah, that's—that's ok."
"I'll be there soon."
The smile in her words was soft and comforting.
"Alright."
He told himself to be strong, to show confidence, to ease her worry. But when the tiger delivered her to his balcony, her face full of understanding and warmth and every positive feeling he'd spent centuries forgetting, he could already feel the charade crack. Rumi taking his hands in hers—just holding them, anchoring him—shattered it completely.
He let go, selfishly wrapping her in a tight hug instead, needing to feel more of her, remind himself that they were both real. He practically melted into her as shy arms wrapped around his middle.
"Thank you."