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BINX Choppley did not come to the Bloom for co-conspirators…or friendship…or love . She came for revenge on the Court of Wonder and to stop whatever nefarious plans——apparently now including the Unseelie Court——were being set into motion to keep the magic to themselves. They did not come to this Bloom, after scraping and clawing their way to survival, making deals and connections with mortals, learning to understand and face the destruction of her court, to spend time dealing with fluttery feelings in her stomach and comforting those who made her feel the warmth of having someone at her side again.
Yet here they were, ready to risk everything to make sure her new best friend was safe. When BINX had connected with Rue in the hedge maze it was like something lit within them. It was the feeling of gathering in her court before everything they knew came to an end: warmth and comfort and home. When BINX saw Rue enter the tea party she knew that they would understand. And later, in the maze, Rue saw BINX for who she really was, deglamored and vulnerable. They had helped without question, comforted without judgment and BINX knew she would die for Rue if ever necessary. Rue was complicated and beautiful, braver than most and kinder than any of the gathered fey deserved. Well, counting out a select few…maybe.
Rue had opened their heart to everyone at the Bloom and most did not even know how lucky they were to finally behold them. BINX understands what Rue is doing. They are claiming the praise of their own and other courts openly but doing it on their own terms for once. They have climbed their way to infamy for their involvement with the Bloom and now they have decided to show the fey that they didn’t need to be seen as how the courts think they should, but how they see themselves, truly and unabashedly and beautifully monstrous. BINX has never felt stronger than when she looks at Rue. There is an aura of bravery that hovers around them and feeds into the well of BINX’s soul.
She felt tears in her eyes for the first time in a very long time when Rue spoke of the way she felt about the Court of Wonder. They cannot fathom what it must have been like to be plucked from a home and to then be gawked at and passed around like a party favor until they got too big and was sent away on a job guaranteed to keep them at arm's length for the rest of time.
BINX might not have realized it at the time, but they think that was when she decided to steal Rue away from their court. Rue was after all, a lost thing from the mortal realm.
And conspiring with Hob! Hiding away in clandestine meetings but somehow also sharing secrets of their own, admittances they would utter to no one else. Things joyful and exciting and terrifying and confusing all at the same time, mixed together in a tornado of emotions that they couldn’t quite come up with a new name for. Joyciteterrifusing? That was nothing, never mind, forget that last part.
For a moment in that tailor’s shop, BINX was loose and free, talking without fear of retribution and just finally being herself again with someone they cared for and longed to help. She knows that Rue is in love with Hob just as much as she knew he would say their name when pressed—-it wasn’t much of a press if they’re being honest, just a shared look and the two of them seemed set on sharing their hearts.
In Hob they see themselves just a little too much to let him slide past on some ridiculous notion that there was anything but true love waiting for him with Rue. BINX could see the way the Goblin Court had taken him and made him feel so small and so loyal that he cannot bear to lose that part of himself even if it means a life of happiness. The Goblin Court had succeeded in tearing up Hob’s mind, ripping and shaping him just enough for anything else in the world to completely terrify him.
Hob needs to be the order to their chaos. He craves it more than anything because when he feels used and useful, it fills that ache inside him carved by milenia of being different . BINX knows that feeling of being an outcast when all you want is to be with someone who makes you feel good and loved and happy . When Hob talks about just wanting to remember the one good night, knowing that it was the only thing he deserved to receive from Rue, BINX wants so badly to tell him. They want to shout it in his face, RUE LOVES YOU, DUMMY ! but instead does the only other thing she can think of.
She asks him… why ? Asks him how he can make decisions for Rue and wishing more than anything that they could tell him the truth, that losing him would hurt Rue irreparably and everlastingly.
Then he gets to “And for me to have known even a day of love is a gift that I never thought I would be lucky,” now with tears in his eyes, voice right in his throat, “enough to have and I will not squander it hoping for more. I will not spoil it hoping for more. It was beautiful for what it was.” BINX’s heart breaks for him. For the life he must have been given to have these things tied up so tight within him that he would rather keep safe one good thing instead of betting on a lifetime of them. BINX knows they’re not really the epitome of emotional intelligence but Hob must be so broken to not see the love pouring out of every action, the honeyed tones Rue melts around their words, and in every interaction, the tiny smiles, a barely there crinkle of their eyes at the corners.
“And I am ordered to marry,” he says and BINX knows now the danger of Hob’s court. He is so scared to lose what he has earned and fought and bled for as he rose in station and then being crafted and molded into the perfect pawn in their schemes, unable to say no for fear of being placed back and away, alone forever in darkness. To escape the darkness once is hard enough, but to be thrust back into it? They cannot imagine.
BINX does not miss the way he steers the conversation away from her solution. The very thought of his own story ending happily was too much for Hob to think about for fear of hoping .
And then she’s in love !? Like a fool?!
Now BINX is not exactly good at things like… emotions or feelings but the rush of her pulse around Andhera and the way he looked kneeling, open and earnest and focused only on them, could only be one thing… love . There was something about him that lit that same fire as Hob and Rue but then this fire was deeper and hotter and different than what she felt for them.
The softness about him as he let his greatest secret spill from his lips and he shared his biggest fault in the eyes of his family but with the intonation that maybe those things everyone else thought less actually made him so much more . He described being punished for his laughter and his tears, his fear and his happiness and and despite that, Andhera is still one of the kindest people BINX has ever known.
How could she not love them after that?
Andhera was vulnerable and stuttered though most everything, so unlike BINX who doesn’t hesitate to say what is on their mind regardless of the situation. With the mention of a scarcity of love in his family, BINX’s heart aches as she thinks back to her court gathered around the fire with blankets and cocoa, showered and steeped in love, a gentle comfort they had never gone without…until she was the last remaining and cocoa by the fire had suddenly become the lonliest torture. She wants so badly to grant him the love they’ve been searching for their whole life.
BINX is the plant and Andhera is the sun. They reach for him, want to absorb him into themself and keep him forever. It hits her quite suddenly that she wants nothing more than to be his source of magic, to be the thing that he loves so much it makes him feel .
When Andhera knelt at her feet with a paper tube in his hand, he did not stutter. His voice was strong. “I pledge my oath to your cause,” and he didn’t break eye contact, almost as if to say, I pledge myself to you.
Something that has surprised BINX, possibly more than her connections with Rue or Hob or Andhera, is Lady Featherfowl. BINX is unprepared for the information the Lady drops into their lap. The words swirl around in their head and they have to parse quickly through the tangle of emotions when they hear Unseelie Court before envisioning Andhera in their radiator with intent in his eyes. Lady Featherfowl is truly incredible in more ways than BINX can count on two hands (extra thumbs included).
They have been watching her throughout the Bloom—-observation and espionage have always come easily to them as a purveyor of lost things. There has been something niggling at the back of BINX’s head this whole time, something about the way the lady has pushed hard for her cousin’s success but has allowed herself to fade quietly into the background. BINX does not know if it has anything to do with the moral realm but they’re glad they took the chance with the lady.
The confirmation of their friendship and the securing of their partnership with the beetle brooch and Mrs. Haversham, the reveal of a wedding ring and the trust the lady had put in BINX lights up one more candle in the window of their home.
Another letter beneath their pen and this time there is no fear and no apprehension in sending it. This time, Rue is ready for their words to be read and their love to be felt. They have truly been walking on air since standing close to Hob, waltzing slow circles around the ballroom, matching step by step with the heat of his hand through the back of their gown. It was like a brand, something they can still feel even now in the light of day.
They had spent the night happier than they can remember, reveling in the true Hob that they think few have seen. The delicious taste of his joy and the sweetness of his laughter as he missed a step or stuttered though an explanation, confused but proud of their interest in him. Having eaten his dance card with only their name on it, it only stood to rights that they would share all their dances together or Hob would not be able to dance at all.
It was in a quiet moment of another slower, sweeter song that Rue realized that there was nothing they did not want to share with this man. His care for them and the way he treated them as if they were something precious and fragile even in their true form took root in their heart and endeared him to them even more.
They discovered the small moments with Hob were worth more than any accolades from any court or any promotion through the ranks of the Court of Wonder. The small moments were what they set out to do with each Bloom but most essentially this one. This Bloom had been a chase of love, a test of true desire and motivation. Rue had planned it carefully, methodically, down to the last detail but had made one major miscalculation.
They were never meant to be the one to fall in love.
Of course they had hoped . They had dreamed it in the dead of night or heard it whisper in the echoes of the early morning as they lingered in bed on the days where facing their existence was nearly too daunting, but it was never meant to be for them .
But Hob was kind and sincere. He was loyal, brave, and honorable, something Rue strived to be always. He may not see his own worth, but Rue could see the way it piled and grew in everything he did. They saw it in the way Prince Andhera looked at him in the tailor’s shop. The young man held Hob in the highest esteem, eyes burning with affection and care that they’re sure Hob would never notice, too busy putting himself down again . They also saw it in the way he offered his help and more importantly his acceptance of BINX. Hob was a leader and Rue was inspired by him.
Perhaps the largest clue that Rue was totally lost when it came to Captain Hob was their desire to learn every part of him. They wanted to take him apart piece by piece, showering each one with the love and affection it deserved before putting him whole again. They wanted to hold the answers to his big questions but also to the small ones like which sleeve goes into his jacket first and how he takes his tea. Rue wants more than anything to know everything and hoard those secrets like a dragon does gold.
In that slow waltz, he had told them his name in full when they had asked. He had hesitated for only a moment, ears flicking in the nervous way they tended to before his resolve returned and he whispered his name against their cheek, one of his tufts of fur brushing against their feathers. The words have been ringing in their ears all night, chased by the buzzing beneath the skin where they had merely brushed. Knickolas Pnackolas Hob . They floated around in Rue’s brain, nudging that part of them which had been tamped down by preparations and work for so long. It was not often that Rue wanted but they wanted Hob an almost dangerous amount.
This time, they would let Wuvvy deliver it.
Major Hob .
The words ring hollow and feel stale on his tongue when he whispers them to himself on the way to meet with the Lord Blemish and Lady Boil. Before this Bloom, he would have been overjoyed to serve his court in any way possible, especially with this generous career advancement. But now…
They’re using you, Hob.
So what if they are , he thinks miserably. If this is how he must serve his court, then he must ignore the voices in his head that sound like Rue and Andhera and BINX. They can rattle around inside his mind all they want but he knows that his role is to serve and complete whatever mission is put before him.
Hob must take what gifts he was given by Rue’s kindness and courage (to be seen with a low born goblin such as himself) for what they are: a once in a lifetime opportunity. His one night of happiness will no doubt sustain his heart for years to come and knowing that that one perfect night could never be ruined or taken from him is the only thing that holds back his rage as he reads about the path being set for him. He has a flash where something starts to curl awake inside him but the marching pace of his movement to see the Lord and Lady seems to lull it back to sleep.
He thinks for a moment, back to a letter he penned to Wrackingspelt. In it he had longed for simpler times with simple orders and no concern for who was watching him.
If only , he thinks ruefully, mouth turned down in a frown. And then he cannot help his mind from drifting again to the night before and the way Rue had felt in his arms and the way he had felt in theirs. There was some fleeting part of him that knew that the moment their hands had brushed when they returned his dance card that he loved them. That was why he took the sturdy paper to his mouth and had eaten away whatever part of Rue they would willingly give.
If everything were normal and quiet, and simpler he would never know the feeling of Rue’s hand holding him steady as he missed a step of one of the complicated courtly dances (honestly, the Cupid Shuffle ? It was laughable and really quite hard to manage with his particular set of legs). He would also never know the gentle mint laced with the sweet fruit of the punch on their breath as they huffed out a laugh at one of his ridiculous, barely-counts-as-a-joke-jokes. If everything was simpler, Hob would never know the truest, kindest, bravery that Rue had shown him last night and he would never have gotten to experience what it might be like to love and be loved in return.
But he’s getting married.
Even as he details the other potential outcomes and partnerships that are floating around, he wishes that something he offers will be enough to prevent this. He cannot ask Rue to love him the way he more ardently loves them but in the brightest parts of his mind that provide him with the occasional hope, he always thought that he might fall in love and then marry.
In perhaps the more normal and regularly lit places of his mind he knew that without escaping his court by way of marriage, the only thing that would really happen would be that he served as a soldier for the rest of his days until his death in either war or taken by time on its own.
Without experiencing it first hand before, he was impossibly ill equipped to deal with falling in love. Whatever he had imagined it feeling like, whatever ideas he had built up in his mind——nothing compared to the fire ignited within him over and over, sometimes without the necessary cooling between each, every time he interacted with Rue. It smoldered in the forest and caught again when they revealed themself at the tea party.
When he was tortured by the smell of peonies and witnessed them in their garden frosted in moonlight, a stoking of a hearth fire burning on the coldest night. Seeing them with BINX and their recognition of his accomplishments he could almost see the Goblin bonfires he usually marched on the outside of. And when they had danced?
Hob thought he would burn up entirely.
But he was instead presented with the gift of every dance that Rue had to give. They were endlessly patient and kind, showing him the steps and performing corrections with gentle hands and the brush of their claws across the back of his coat that sent a shiver down his spine that he hoped they didn’t notice. He was given that chance. That night of happiness and love, safe and comfortable in the bubble of the dance floor—-gods they had barely left it except to get punch and to catch their breath out and away from the crowds, standing just a little too close in the relative darkness. Never crossing the line that he desperately wanted to cross but still wanting so badly it hurt.
And he’s being ordered to marry.
Hob is honestly unsure if he is more surprised or more relieved when Prince Apollo catches him on the way to visit the Seelie Court’s dappled meadow. He’s not prepared to think about what that means for too long, not with the Prince drawing his sword and preparing to strike.
BINX Choppley, the sole survivor and leader of the Court of Craft, the Weaver of Fate, did not come to this Bloom looking to rebuild their court.
But here we are.
The plans are circling around in her head, the way she could collect them all for herself, bring them into her court and soon be able to think of simpler things like how many marshmallows they would like in their mugs of cocoa. That is, if they survive the fight ahead of them.
Rue, she thinks might be easiest. They were a frog and therefore heard Sorwen when he had looked at Rue closely, considering and then said “People move courts all the time. That’s all.” BINX could feel Rue’s breath of surprise, like they truly had never considered it and listened to them make excuses for the trap the Court of Wonder had set for them, another way to control the things they did and could not do. BINX had almost forgotten The Sea Wall was still escorting them away when he said, “Well, I began at the Court of Stone and I followed my heart here,” a brief pause, then “And it's worked out ever since.”
BINX wanted so badly to be one of the things that could draw Rue’s heart to the Court of Craft and with Rue on the court, BINX was sure they could ensnare Major Hob to their cause. She would force Rue to admit to the things they’d been too afraid to say for so long and should have told Hob before now . It would probably be a solid 10 minutes of stuttering and stammering on his part while Rue looked on fondly and then perhaps an hour or two of denial until Rue really showed him how they felt.
And Andhera. There was something that told her that he already had one foot in the door.
They can still see him kneeling at her feet, looking at her with a gaze that shares the intensity and weight of a massive shelf of storm clouds making their way up the countryside, presenting them with their paper tube of all things. It was the way they never looked away when they said My happiness up until this point has been like striking a piece of flint in the darkness, little bits of spark which I was very grateful for. This is a fire .
BINX can feel it burning even now.