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Dear Yunho,
If you've found this letter, it means you've found yourself in San's old room. That must be hard for you, and we want you to know that we're so proud of you. More than you can ever know.
And if you're reading this letter, it means that we're gone. For now. Perhaps forever.
And as much as the thought of never seeing you again makes my heart ache like nothing else, I couldn't leave without saying thank you once more.
Thank you for seeing Yeosang, a boy who was so terrified of his own reflection, who hated everything he saw in the mirror, and who resorted to finding solace on the edge of a blade when the pain of existing became unbearable. You saw his agony, all his suffering written plainly on his skin, but you never looked at him with disdain, like he was something hideous or repulsive. Instead, you saw him for who he is: a beautiful person, now carrying beautiful memories that he holds over his chest like the sketchbook he once used as a shield.
Thank you for welcoming San, a man painted in all the darkest colors, whose skin glinted with piercing silver and inky black, and who partied and smoked with all the bad kids in high school because that's who he thought he was. You gave him a place to stay when he had no one, a true companion, someone that he could finally trust after a lifetime of being suffocated by the loneliness that he thought he deserved. You shared your home and your heart with him, and now he knows that he'll never truly be alone again.
Thank you for loving Wooyoung, someone who feared himself and abandoned his true desires because there were so many voices telling him that he was wrong. You accepted him no matter who he wanted to be, and you took him to a neon city and gave him an opportunity that he never thought possible: a night where he could just be himself, be free. You handed him the keys to the cage that he'd put himself in, the very cage that I've watched him waste away in. You helped him become brave, the brightest version of himself.
Thank you for finding me, a boy who was mute and scared of the dark, and chasing away the monsters that stole my words. You never asked why I didn't speak, or treat me like the most fragile glass. You treated me like you would treat anyone, voice or no voice. You helped my voice return to me, and drew out all the things I'd shoved away because I wanted to be small, invisible. You are there when I close my eyes, and now the darkness isn't so bad, because I have you to fight it with me.
And finally, thank you for allowing us to see you, a man who wanted to be wanted and appreciated for more than the status and money his parents gave him. A man who has so much love to give and only wanted to be loved in return. You are the brightest ray of sunshine in a sweltering summer, a platinum heart among the gold, a hot pink star in the center of our universe. You, Yunho. You are our star, our gravity, our neon light, the one who breaks the dark and keeps the monsters at bay.
You brought us together, broken pieces of the same puzzle, and held us together. You took to us places that we would have never gone, showed us things we would have never seen, and gave us the summer of a lifetime.
And even though we may have parted ways, and the miles between us feel too long to bear, know that we will take these memories with us and hold them close when the light is chased away and the monsters crawl back up from their depths. We don't know what the future holds for us. We don't know if the dark will come back, if the fears will return with a vengeance, whether we'll fail or succeed or stay stuck, or if we'll ever see each other again. But those words we painted on the wall, the ones that have probably been washed away from our shores but will continue to exist so long as we do... those are the words that we will remember:
We were here. And we were, still are, and always will be beautiful.
We are the lights that cut open the blackest skies. We are the diamonds in the rough, the most tangled vines in the deepest jungle, the sparkling stardust among the sand, the ones that defied everything we learned, took those things, and made them ours.
Thank you for showing us that worlds other than our own exist. Ones that aren't rooted in pain or loneliness or self-hatred or doubt or fear. Bright, colorful, spontaneous, passionate worlds that we didn't know and have yet to experience on our own, but they're out there.
We found one with you, Yunho, and you made yourself a home in each of ours.
Even if we are gone, we will never leave you. We will always be here, in your world, right over your head, and in your heart.
I hope we meet again someday, somehow, and somewhere just as bright and beautiful as us.
With love,
Mingi