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Fighting one war is bad enough; three is almost impossible. That’s why, when the Old Families offer the Mage a deal that will put an end to their conflict, he accepts.
Simon hates everything about the deal. (And his life. And he definitely hates Baz.) He’s only going along with his part in it because he’s the Mage’s Heir and he has to. There definitely aren’t any other reasons.
Or at least, if there are, Simon doesn’t know them. Yet.
Series
- Part 1 of Hang the Moon
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“Baz—" Simon starts, and Baz reprimands himself for thinking of his best friend as lovely (even though he is, even though he has thought so for quite some time.) He shakes his head, raises an eyebrow again, encourages Simon to continue. “Is it weird if I haven’t, ah,” Simon pauses, takes a deep breath. And now Baz stops walking, because Simon is blustering, and as endearing as it may be, he has never liked to see Simon struggle— “I haven’t kissed anyone!” Simon blurts hastily, his cheeks blazing, his hands still tugging mercilessly at his sleeves.
Alternatively: 7 times Simon and Baz kiss.
Featuring: the colours of the rainbow!
Alternatively titled: loving you is a rainbow -
This Is Mr. Pitch by standalone
Fandoms: Simon Snow series - Gemma T. Leslie, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell, Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
01 Jun 2016
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Summary
For everyone who's wished Baz were an English teacher, here's a stateside high-school AU.
The Watford School of Magicks doesn't exist, but this year, there's a new hire in the Watford High English department.
Series
- Part 1 of Teachers AU
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Last Year: The Sex Website Debacle by standalone
Fandoms: Simon Snow series - Gemma T. Leslie
05 Feb 2016
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This is a little backstory for This is Mr. Pitch.
If you're not reading that longer piece, this probably won't make a lot of sense.
(And it's explicit, but not in a fun sexy way.)
Series
- Part 2 of Teachers AU
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
11 Jun 2026
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Lovely Longings by brandnewbeepbeep
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
08 Sep 2025
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He’s caught up to me a bit, but he can’t come at me now. I’ve put myself on the other side of a lovely longing patch; every mage knows not to disturb these flowers. (I didn’t even know we had them in the Wavering Wood.) Their pollen is too dangerous once airborne. I’ve won. He’ll have to turn tail. He’s not nearly graceful enough to cross as I have without risk. Or, I suppose, he could do what he always does. Throw caution to the wind. Trample through them, cause a scene. I doubt he will. Part of me—the most hopeless, deranged, pathetic part of me—wishes for it.
Snow rushes through the tree line, braking hard when he sees me. He’s just a hair from the flowerbed’s edge. He frowns as he looks at me, frustrated, and I can’t tell if it’s because he’s tired of chasing me or because I’m so overconfident as to let him catch up to me.Then he does the unthinkable. (I mean, very thinkable. I've already thought it. But still.)
In which Simon catches up to Baz at a patch of sex pollen. Oops.
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
11 Jun 2026
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Kiss me hard, touch me soft on the weekend by johnwgrey
Fandoms: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
17 Apr 2022
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Baz gets to be with Simon during the weekends and during the weekends only. That's the deal. And it's a good deal, if you ask him. Even if waiting one whole week is torture, it's better than nothing. It's not like he could ever hope for more. Right?
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
11 Jun 2026
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"What are you doing here?" Baz asks, like this is all some big coincidence. Like he didn't just unlock the front door and let Simon the bloody Vampire Slayer stroll right in.
Snow only growls in frustration. "Do we have to do this every time? You know why I'm here. Are we doing this or what?"
[It's the number one question that keeps Baz awake at night. You kill vampires. You don't kill me. Would you care to explain that discrepancy?]
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hunter becomes the hunted by best__dress for BlueDahlia912
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
25 Dec 2024
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Summary
After years of pursuit, Baz Pitch has finally captured notorious vampire Simon Snow.
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For All Intents and Purposes by ErzbethLuna, hushed_chorus
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
26 Dec 2025
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Simon has always been protective of Baz, but life gets a bit trickier when that urge is suddenly accompanied by odd hoarding behaviour and spitting fire. Once the pair discover Simon has dragon heritage, they decide to seek out guidance from the only dragon they know – Margaret.
And if they’re going to America anyway, why not make a road trip of it?
Cue monster boyfriends in love, dragony chaos, inventive spellwork and Simon finally getting the road trip of his dreams (with a little bit of adventure along the way).
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Between You and Forever by she_is_destroyer_of_worlds
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
02 Mar 2022
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A traumatic encounter with a vampire hunter dredges up a lot of messy emotions for Baz, forcing him to confront his vampirism and figure out how to slowly come to terms with who he is without denying any part of himself. Luckily, he has Simon's love and support to help him through it (and also Simon's blood... but you'll have to wait until the end for that part). This fic switches between Baz and Simon's POVs, just like in the books.
AKA I really wanted to write a fic where Baz ends up sucking Simon's blood but I knew that for that to happen, we were gonna need a LOT of angst to happen first.
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The Way We Are by AlexAlexini, probablylily
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
26 Nov 2025
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Summary
I’m discovering that I’m all kinds of pathetic for cute, clumsy boys with constellations of moles dotting their skin.
Or maybe I’m just becoming pathetic for Simon, I think, returning his smile as I step across the threshold.
Pain punches me in the gut.
I double over and pain spreads through my entire body. Sinking under my skin. Into my bones. It stings like the buzz of silver or crosses.
I am not wanted here.
The realisation is the only thing clear as the pain. I need to leave. But when I turn towards the door, I find that Simon’s already shut it behind him.
“You’re a vampire,” he says, voice hard and cold.
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Baz and Simon meet in a coffee shop not knowing that one of them is a vampire and the other a vampire hunter. After a tense encounter, both of them are left with questions about who they are and their morality. And as if that’s not enough, neither of them can stop thinking about the other…
Written for Carry On Big Bang 2024
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,043
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 148
- Kudos:
- 194
- Bookmarks:
- 40
- Hits:
- 2,601
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
09 Jun 2026
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keep your brittle heart warm by aalstroemeria
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
20 Aug 2023
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For every excruciating minute he was gone, all I could see every time I closed my eyes was some variation of this: Baz, my Baz, in pain – the harsh lines of his face contorted, his eyes squeezed shut, his fangs filling his mouth, and no one to help him.
Baz gets kidnapped. It doesn’t take Simon 6 weeks.
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Famous Last Words by Miya_Ratsumu
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
31 Dec 2022
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Summary
Agatha decided I didn’t know what actual love was, then decided I wasn't worth being with.
My mum and dad decided I wasn’t worth keeping.
The mage decided the only worth I had was in my power.
Baz decided I was worthless long ago, before he even really knew me. He must think the words Simon Snow and worthless are synonymous.
I think of Baz, who I’ve shared my childhood with. Who I’ve fought and followed. Who I’ve spent my life gearing up to fight. He and I are supposed to make it to the end. He’s supposed to look into my eyes as he takes it all away from me.
He and I are supposed to just... be.
___
Or: Baz says some things, Simon says some things, and the two are magically stuck together.All aboard the trope train! Wooot! Wooot!
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How am I going to play this? I could fall back on old habits. I could sneer. I could insult him. That always worked when we were in school, but now I fear he’d see right through it. The act only worked then because it wasn’t an act. Not at first, anyway. I did, at one point, actually hate him, and he never had any reason to believe that had changed.
Now, though. Now he knows that was all fake, that I was just overcompensating to hide my true feelings. Now it’d only be a sign to him that I’m hiding something. That I still care. That I’m still hopelessly, tragically in love.
I can’t let him know that. Not after I broke up with him.Or: Two-odd years after the events of Carry On, Simon and Baz have broken up and gone no-contact. A chance encounter unearths old feelings.
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Toil and Trouble by RoyalAsstronaut for annabellelux
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
08 Nov 2021
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Summary
"Oh, so it’s my fault you turned me into a fucking nightmare—”
“I turned you into myself!”
“That’s what I’m saying!”Simon and Baz swap bodies. Just not in the way you'd think.
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
03 Jun 2026
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I don't just like, I adore you by fiend-for-culture (caspian)
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
28 Dec 2024
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Summary
Simon Salisbury is hoping to fix up his home in time for Christmas.
Interior designerHistorical consultant Baz Pitch is here to help.Featuring an ambitious amount of home restoration, comfortable but questionable fashion choices, and learning that good things come to those who wait ❄️❤️🔥
Written for Carry On Countdown 2024
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Do you realize?? by TheWholeLemon
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
26 Nov 2022
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Summary
Simon creates a plot to approach the Violinist who plays on his morning commute.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,296
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 102
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 501
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
Simon needs some professional clothes and Penny heard of this great shop. The boy behind the counter’s a little rude though.
Bookmarked by lixdoesntknow
01 Jun 2026
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Neutron Star Collision by alleycat0306
Fandoms: Carry On | Simon Snow Series - Rainbow Rowell
23 Oct 2023
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Summary
Simon is under a spell that "forces" him to share touches with Baz. The touches start out innocent and (surprise, surprise!) grow horny with time.
Baz is lowkey gay panicking. Simon finds enjoyment in all the time spent with his ex-nemesis turned friend turned lover.
The boys are being horny and in love.This story consists of (sexy) touches, lots of talking, and some amateur magickal astronomy sprinkled on top.
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The truth about love by shushu_yaoi_lj
Fandoms: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms, Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
14 Aug 2020
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Summary
Snow is about to go off, his magic is leaking out of him and I start to wonder if this was a mistake. I just wanted to tease him; I didn’t think he was going to get so mad over this. What the hell happened with Wellbelove?
“Snow, calm down or you’re going to go off.”
“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” he shouts, “I want to know if you’re in love with her.”Simon goes off and accidentally binds them together - 8th year Watford canon divergence.
Series
- Part 1 of The truth about love