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Bilbo is as Hobbitly Hobbitish as any other Hobbit. How can one be anything but content and happy when there are parties to attend, harvests to celebrate, and books aplenty to keep Bilbo company in her lovely Smial?
Then comes the day that a dwarf comes knocking on her door. Now, Bilbo has two husbands she quite forgotten about, and the three are left teetering between their old memories, learning each other anew, and discovering just what there is for them for the future.
Peeps know I can never make a trope fic go to plan- here is another Big Bang 2017 submission that went off on a tangent!
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At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.
Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.
(Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)
*Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.
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That Which Begets Affection (Is Silent) by bubbysbub
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
28 Jul 2017
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Business pulls Bilbo to the town of Scary, but it is the journey home that changes everything for Bilbo. Family, it seems, comes in many forms, and quite possibly in the form of a scarred, silent shade of a Dwarrow Bilbo finds in a ditch.
Family, though, is a tricky thing, and there's fun to be had when they come looking for their kin.
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In Carven Oak by bubbysbub for thebakerstboyskeeper
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
24 Dec 2016
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It's Yule time when Bilbo arrives back in the Shire- with a host of Dwarrow at his back, the sentimental lugs. Except now the assorted Aunts and Uncles have gotten quite the wrong idea in their excited interrogation, and he's stuck pretending that he's married a few of the hairy fellows.
If he could just get through the assorted required Baggins and Took social events without outing himself as a complete fibber or drunkenly attempting to kiss Dwalin and Thorin under the mistletoe, it may just be a Yule miracle.
Another attempt at writing a common trope fic that went completely off the rails.
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It's safe to say that about the last place on all of Middle Earth that Dwalin ever thought he would find a good thing -or two- was in the middle of the stinking forest of Mirkwood.
Despite the bizarrely inappropriate beginning, there's hope that he might just score a bit o' something, and perhaps a bit more than something, with the great boof of a king that he's always adored, and the bright little lass that is their burglar.
If they survive this mess.
(Part one of a three part series. Coming soon: "There are some things that cannot be forgiven, and some that can, and Bilba cannot even tell anymore which exact category this situation falls in to. What she knows is that despite everything that has fallen to ash around her, she cannot bring herself to face Thorin, no matter who forgives what.
Dwalin and his ridiculous woebegone face will not let her leave things as they are, though, and now here she is, agreeing to participate in a Dwarven remembrance day of all things, and the boof is really not as subtle as he thinks he is...)
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- Part 1 of Dwalin's Impossible Quest Series
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To catch a homophobe or two, (or twenty) by VicIsWriting
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
11 Feb 2026
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Shane volunteers to be mic'd up on his first game against the Voyageurs in his first season with the Centaurs. What could go wrong?
A lot... He hopes.
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Bookmarked by bubbysbub
02 Jul 2026
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It's all Canadian Vodka's fault by FriPie
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
06 Feb 2026
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In the early hours of Saturday, the Hockey world was ablaze with the news that Ilya Rozanov was dead. Killed in a tragic car accident leaving behind a slew of devastated fans and a grieving husband still reeling in shock.
The news also came as an incredible shock to Ilya when he awoke that same day, hungover and bleary, but very much alive.
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- 26,385
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02 Jul 2026
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The Ilya Rozanov Exposé by nineteenohtwo
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
04 Dec 2025
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Perez Hilton ✅ @PerezHilton
Viral: Married "gay" hockey star Ilya Rozanov caught IN PUBLIC sexting mystery woman. WITH RECEIPTS!
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- Part 3 of Hit Post
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- English
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- 1,888
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by bubbysbub
02 Jul 2026
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Bilbo may not know how to wield a sword, but hobbits could not have survived in such a dangerous world if they could not defend themselves, a fact Thorin learns during the incident in Bree.
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- 1,215
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- 1/1
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05 Jun 2020
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The Will of the Green Lady (and her husband The Smith) by Dragonsteamfan
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
24 Feb 2021
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Bilbo, Thorin, Fili and Kili are sent back to do things better this time, only the Valar aren't taking any chances. Erebor will once more be the Guardian of the North, even if they have to arrange things themselves.
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- English
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- 121,725
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- 39/39
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- 8
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- 1,577
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Bookmarked by bubbysbub
30 Apr 2020
