1 - 20 of 358 Bookmarks by be_alighthouse
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Unconventional Methods by PolitestMenace (GayPirateAficionado)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Jul 2026
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Summary
Hmm. Should Ed say what he’s thinking?
He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t.
But he does anyway: “So. Uh. Know of one other thing.” Ed looks down, picking at the shark tooth on his jacket, trying to act cazh. He’s not sure it’s working.
“Oh yes?” Stede sounds beyond delighted. His face brightens so much he almost doesn’t look like he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep. (Almost.)
“Um, yeah. But…” Ed clears his throat. “Can I…uh…tell you what it is somewhere else? Like…in a more private place?”
***
Stede has an extremely stubborn case of the hiccups. Lucky for him, Ed knows of something that might help. But…it might change these co-captains’ relationship forever.
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
16 Jul 2026
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Biggest slut at the public library by petrichorca for shieldmaidenofmithrilhall, ferventrabbit, veeagainst, the_widow_olivia
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
15 Jul 2026
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Summary
Stede rocks up in his gym fit to a coffee shop, not remembering what he’s wearing. A handsome barista likes his shirt.
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
16 Jul 2026
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The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic by QuinnAnderson for kali_asleep
Fandoms: Original Work
05 Sep 2013
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Summary
A comprehensive guide to writing both queer and het erotic fiction, written by published novelist Quinn Anderson. Includes lists of sexy words, references, and some general writing tips. Please feel free to use without credit.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,878
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 913
- Kudos:
- 17,807
- Bookmarks:
- 9,337
- Hits:
- 775,287
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
12 Jul 2026
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Summary
Stede gets his very first professional massage from a beautiful man. There are some bumps along the way.
OFMD JanuAUry day 1 - Small Business
Series
- Part 1 of OFMD JanuAUry
- Part 21 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,314
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 50
- Kudos:
- 495
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 3,247
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
02 Jul 2026
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Summary
Stede forgot about Alma's parent teacher conference. It works out in the end.
(Featuring an ill-conceived speed walk, the world’s most intimidating third grade teacher, Stede’s favorite porn star, and a mislaid remote)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,587
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 96
- Kudos:
- 579
- Bookmarks:
- 65
- Hits:
- 2,667
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
26 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ed retires to a tree-lined neighborhood far from his old life to start a new one. He gets a big, tender, horny crush on his local mail carrier. Are the feelings mutual? (You betcha.)
Written for AUgust, Day 1 prompt: Mail Carrier.
Series
- Part 7 of OFMD AU prompts
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,766
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 226
- Kudos:
- 614
- Bookmarks:
- 92
- Hits:
- 2,872
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
25 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede thinks he's rescuing the cute bartender from the pushy customer hitting on him, but alas, he is very bad at reading the room.
For JanuAUry day 24, Bartender!
Now you can read this with your ears, too! Check out Lindie's podfic!!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,658
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 115
- Kudos:
- 944
- Bookmarks:
- 115
- Hits:
- 3,549
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
25 Jun 2026
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Count the Headlights on the Highway by soft_october for mia_ugly
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Mar 2022
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Summary
The rest of the band should relax, okay? He was not unconcerned about the fact that Stede Bonnet - the “poor man’s Elton John,” as one particularly nasty critic called him - covered some B-side The Scalawags wrote more than a decade ago. (He was very, very concerned, actually. He was very concerned because the first time he heard it was two weeks ago and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since.)
When Stede Bonnet releases a chart topping cover of an old Scalawags song, Ed is more taken with it than he'd like to admit. After Calico Jack starts twitter drama over the "destruction of real music," Ed finds himself in the unusual position of having to apologize to Stede in person.
He's fine. His palms aren't sweaty. He's super cool and he can do this.
Series
- Part 1 of you'll marry a music man
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
24 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede gets a copy of Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream. After putting versions of himself and his loved ones into the game, he learns more about himself than he bargained for, especially relating to his feelings for his best friend, Ed.
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
21 Jun 2026
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Summary
“He makes nimble work of breaking up the flowers, though he’ll admit he’s been more distracted than usual, listening intently as he lines the thin paper with the freshly ground marijuana. A new neighbor moved in last week, and just so happened to be residing in the apartment adjacent to Stede’s. For the past week, the two of them coincidentally aligned their after work smoke breaks—to the point that Stede is no longer sure that there’s anything coincidental about it.”
Or, a new neighbor moves into Stede’s building and they smoke a blunt together
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
09 May 2026
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Summary
Stede and Ed happily run a newspaper together, but can their partnership survive Stede’s op-ed describing his anonymous middle aged crush?
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
24 Apr 2026
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Summary
Immediately after Ed makes Stede stab him, Stede tends to his wounds and wants to know why Ed would do such a thing. He may not be ready for the answer.
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
09 Apr 2026
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Summary
He’d hardly undone one button on his waistcoat when a tentative knock sounded on the cabin door. He walked back to open it, expecting to see Lucius with another complaint about Wee John’s snoring. Instead, he found Ed, standing tense and uncertain a few feet back from the doorway.
“Oh, hello, Ed! Need something?” he asked.
Ed just stared at him.
“Erm, you alright?”
“Uh,” Ed said. He blinked. “Um. Can you get these bows out of my beard?”
Ed tries again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,134
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 86
- Kudos:
- 786
- Bookmarks:
- 108
- Hits:
- 4,022
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
08 Apr 2026
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Summary
Edward Teach is a genius. And he's a good friend, so he's just gonna share his expertise with his good friend Stede Bonnet. Which will be fine. Because he's a genius.
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
10 Mar 2026
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Tags
Summary
A fic about how it's never too late to start over, even if you're newly out and recently divorced in your 40s. Featuring:
- Goat yoga!
- Cheese puns!
- Down bad immediately Ed and Stede!
- A few nods to Taylor Swift, and ever so lightly inspired by "So Long London", but you do not need any Taylor Swift knowledge at all, and tbh, you might not notice the references
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,231
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 44
- Kudos:
- 98
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 506
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
Ed and Stede are friends, and finally single at the same time. They don’t know how to admit to each other their true feelings after a year of tip-toeing around their obvious attraction. They both have their own plan, and Fig’s birthday is the perfect place to put it into action. Things don’t go as planned…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,547
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 102
- Bookmarks:
- 8
- Hits:
- 471
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
08 Mar 2026
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Summary
Stede lives next to Ed, who in his mind is the hottest man he has ever laid eyes on. It keeps him up at night honest to god.
(The oneshot and completed version.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,372
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 751
- Bookmarks:
- 86
- Hits:
- 4,832
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
07 Mar 2026
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Best Friend Frustrations by GayWatson, MarriedState (passingfair)
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Nov 2024
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Summary
After years of friendship, Ed's finally ready to do it. He's going to ask Stede out.
The only problem? Stede might be the most oblivious person on the planet.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,208
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 60
- Kudos:
- 367
- Bookmarks:
- 36
- Hits:
- 1,696
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
04 Mar 2026
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Summary
After their treasure hunting day, Ed's still on edge trying to figure Stede out, so he decides to ask about the other secret passageways in the ship.
Stede shows him the one under the bed, where he's always thought he could hide from a marauding pirate captain... or be captured by one. Hiding together down there from the crew, Ed rapidly learns that Stede's got more going on in his secret passageways than anyone knew...
Series
- Part 12 of Silly Spicy Sweet One-Shots
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
23 Feb 2026
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Tags
Summary
Ed lets himself think about it. Immerses himself in the candlelight flicker of it all, the steely glow of the moon through arched windows. The vulnerable peek of Stede’s throat under that black turtleneck, the shape of his back, his shoulderblades, the obscene curve of his waist, the radiating heat of him. The bed nook. He never got to sink inside Stede there, but his knife almost did.
(or: For totally innocent reasons, Stede wants to know just exactly how Ed was planning to murder him.)
Bookmarked by be_alighthouse
16 Feb 2026