IneffableDistortion
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Recent works
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And Low Moons stud the walls In Gold by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
17 Apr 2026
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Summary
Aziraphale is the only priest in the small village of Tadfield, or at least that's the job he probably should be doing. He's much more fond of being left alone with his books, very overgrown church-grounds, and pretty much abandoned church. But, when the local Satanists mistakenly summon a very shadowy, snakey demon in said church, he finds he's stuck with company.
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Somewhere around the time when the blackberries in the hedgerow turned dark and sumptuous, the demon began sporadically appearing behind him whenever he turned-
“Crowley! For god’s sake” his sudden appearance had caused him to knock over a glass bottle he’d filled with water, and placed a clover cutting in several weeks ago. it had been growing roots quite wonderfully.“I don’t do anything for Her sake angel”
He was bothersome. The quirk of his lips, the angle at which his hips jutted, the appraisal of his yellow eyes. Bothersome. The bottle and clover righted itself without his acknowledgement. Aziraphale glanced up on impulse, as if there would be some retribution in the sunlit clouds drifting slowly across the ether. He shook himself.
“You’re being silly, Crowley”
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“Nrrgh ‘m sorry, really, and I’m not um- pretending? I didn’t mean to- Rrghkk” Aziraphale’s expression flickered, and his eyes snapped up, searching Crowley’s face. It displayed only remorse. The demon shuffled awkwardly and pushed his glasses further up his nose, looking away.
Oh. Aziraphale breathed in, letting realisation wash over him. It felt like drowning.
He truly didn’t remember
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The Creation of Gingerbread Angels by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
24 Nov 2024
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Summary
God is floating in the endless abyss, and it feels... very, very lonely. There's no-one to talk to, no-one to even quietly observe from afar, and She finds She doesn't like being so alone. And that gives Her infinite ideas. What to make first out of an entire universe folded neatly into her mind? She thinks She'll start with the Angels, if She doesn't get distracted...
Or: A fic concept mixed with so, so many headcanons for God's way of thinking about things
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An Open Sky of Fire by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
19 Oct 2024
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My TMA au of Good Omens! (Metatron and Jurgen Lietner warnings. They're only mentioned but they do induce rage so cw)
Aziraphale is an avatar of The Vast with a love for books (and Lietners, but unlike some he's sensible about them.) And Crowley is an Avatar of The Desolation with a love for Aziraphale.
When Aziraphale rejects his offer to run away to Alpha Centuri, and a very upset Crowley tries to find him only to see the bookshop on fire, he assumes it's his fault.
(There is a time skip from the end of the pub scene to the end of the Apocalypse prevention, I hope it all makes sense and that you enjoy!! :] ♡)
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Flowers are better than your Tears my dear by IneffableDistortion
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
11 Aug 2024
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Summary
(Tw blood and internal pain)
Or: Aziraphale thinks demons can't love, and Crowley's resigned himself to physically pining away, coughing up white roses for loyalty and innocence, and red gardenias for secret love. I promise a happy ending though! :]
Or: Season 2's ending devastated me and it took me this long to pick up the courage and actually write something, I really hope you enjoy it!!
P.S I typed this up on my phone, so the format will probably look better if you read this on your phone rather than a laptop. Sorry for any inconvenience :(
(Also when there's a double paragraph break with '...' it's a change of pov :])
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Fresh off a bitter divorce, Aziraphale fabricates a perfect marriage to get hired at a wedding magazine—just a stepping stone on the way to his dream career. It's a foolproof plan, until he needs to produce said husband for the magazine's annual couples retreat.
Enter Crowley, his best friend's mysterious cousin, who agrees, for his own reasons, to play fake husband for a week—no strings attached, no messy complications.
One problem: the more Aziraphale discovers about the real man behind the act, the less fake his feelings become.
Aziraphale thought the hardest part would be fooling everyone else…
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,961
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,329
- Kudos:
- 992
- Bookmarks:
- 219
- Hits:
- 15,629
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
06 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Perfectly adorable!! :D oh i love them so <3
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Summary
The Second Coming is imminent. Aziraphale and Crowley, naturally, spend four days and three nights at a motel in Palm Springs dealing with their own issues.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,403
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 502
- Kudos:
- 491
- Bookmarks:
- 133
- Hits:
- 8,259
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
04 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Funniest nonsense on the planet actually, but also so so many emotions that overlap in different places beautifully!!
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Summary
After more than twenty years in publishing, Aziraphale Fell finds himself redundant and desperate enough to try advertising. As a senior copywriter he's paired with Crowley, a cynical art director who's spent years in the agency coasting on talent and contempt.
They shouldn't work together well – Aziraphale with his passion, his fountain pens and faith in craft, Crowley with his irreverence, his sunglasses and studied indifference.
But somehow they do.
An Advertising Agency AU
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
15 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
"no one got the joke except the ma advertising people"
Beautiful gorgeous and everythinggg I adore it when they start off finding each other deeply irritating and then fall horrifically in love <333 -
Crossroads by EdosianOrchids901 for KannaOphelia
Fandoms: Good Omens (Movie Concept 1992)
13 Dec 2024
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Summary
Crowley is excited by Aziraphale’s suggestion of a holiday—right up until Aziraphale announces that he wants to take yet another a road trip. But in the familiarity of cheap hotels and getting totally lost together, feelings blossom. Will Crowley ever admit that Aziraphale makes him happy?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,193
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
- Kudos:
- 45
- Bookmarks:
- 5
- Hits:
- 461
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
14 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
drowning myself in 1992 movie script fanfic because i for one will not be recovering from s3
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Summary
It's not easy being a capital-G Good King, and Aziraphale is sick of it. All he wants is to hide in his library and read all day. That's why he's arranged with an "evil" sorcerer by the name of Crowley to pretend to be under a love spell so they can get married and Crowley can take over the kingdom. That is, of course, the kind of plan that will definitely not have any complications whatsoever...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 34,903
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 58
- Kudos:
- 213
- Bookmarks:
- 50
- Hits:
- 2,335
Bookmarked by IneffableDistortion
02 May 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
absolutely wonderful i love it so muchhhhh