HauntedFloatingEye
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Colonel Sportacus Champitor Crimson the Second by relationshipcrimes
Fandoms: Red vs. Blue
25 Jun 2017
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Summary
“Admit it, Simmons. Sarge loves a twelve-year-old snorting football more than literally anyone or anything in this canyon. Except for his shotgun. And maybe killing Blues.”
Bookmarked by HauntedFloatingEye
25 Jul 2026
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Summary
Simmons is thankful that men don’t have bulimia. Otherwise, it’d be really fucking difficult to explain why he never keeps his dinner down. (Updates first Tuesday of every month.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 216,671
- Chapters:
- 99/99
- Comments:
- 2,713
- Kudos:
- 2,037
- Bookmarks:
- 275
- Hits:
- 38,322
Bookmarked by HauntedFloatingEye
25 Jul 2026
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Summary
"All is as it was meant to be. It was meant to be lonely and terrifying and unfair and fleeting. Don't worry."
"That's bullshit."
Written for the RvB Angst War
Series
- Part 3 of RvB Angst War
- Part 1 of He said No
Bookmarked by HauntedFloatingEye
09 Jul 2026
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Summary
A transcript to a fake Red vs Blue PSA.
Grif and Simmons talk about pet care. Caboose and Wash search for Benedict Cumberbatch. Kai somehow manages to get Grif and Simmons to mention their sex life. Lopez appeals to the fandom.
Initially posted June 2021 on the tumblr blog clocks-are-round.
Series
- Part 3 of Red vs Blue Fake PSAs
- Part 12 of Chronology
Bookmarked by HauntedFloatingEye
05 Jul 2026
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Summary
“He needed to remind himself to not care for these people.
He was not here to make friends. And he was very aware that there was a good chance they all would die sooner or later.”In which Grif joins the rookie camp and meets some very annoying people.
OR Grif’s story gaps explored and filled in with some maroon love.Bookmarked by HauntedFloatingEye
30 Jun 2026