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Sometimes you gotta bleed to know, that you're alive and have a soul

Summary:

It's basically what would happen if Mori found out that Dazai was planning on leaving the Port Mafia after Oda told him to leave and threatened him with the person he secretly loves (Its Chuuya). Takes place the morning after Oda's death.

Notes:

Guys this is my first fic I'm scared I'm going to get cursed. I am probably going to try to post a new chapter or two every week, but I don't imagine they will be very consistently on the same days. I do genuinely love writing this fic, so it might even be updated more than twice a week. If you caught the Twenty-One Pilots reference as the title, you get bonus points! I literally have NO IDEA what to name this fic, so I went with what I was listening to, and it managed to fit so don't judge lol. Feedback is always welcome as long as it's nice! Like I said, this is my first fic, so if you do have feedback or tips, I'd love to hear them, to keep them in mind for the future!! NO PART OF THIS FIC IS DONE BY AI! I do not support generative AI. I am so excited to just get this out there, but I'll end the Notes here because I don't like reading paragraphs upon paragraphs at the start of fics either, so enjoy!! ;)

Chapter Text

Dazai wakes with a start. Rubbing his eyes as a headache forms behind them. After yesterday, Dazai had simply collapsed on his couch, not bothering to do any of his usual nightly routine. He was still clad in his black overcoat when he woke, stained slightly with the blood of his best friend.

Yesterday, Odasaku had died in his arms, and he could feel the memory sitting upon his chest like a weight he couldn't shake. But Dazai had a job to do. He couldn’t let himself mourn his dear friend just yet.

Oda’s last words still echoed in his mind, and he felt relieved. 

Today Dazai would leave the Port Mafia without a trace; without saying goodbye to a single soul. While his heart ached slightly to have to leave his partner, Chuuya, he knew Chuuya wouldn't go with him if he asked. 

Because unlike Dazai, Chuuya had no reason to leave, and Chuuya wasn’t in the habit of doing things he didn’t want to do because of someone else. He was selfish like that. It was a trait that Dazai secretly admired, but he would never tell his Chibi that.

Mori, the Boss of the Port Mafia, knew the location of his apartment, due to it being in a Mafia-controlled neighborhood. In fact, most all of his co-workers were mere blocks away. Because of that fact, his apartment was the first place he had to leave.

His whole apartment even looked like it was the home to a Mafia executive. Shiny black countertops, a soft leather couch in the middle of the single large room that was both his kitchen and living room, a large TV that was hardly used, nearly floor-to-ceiling windows covering half of the room. His apartment could only be described as sterile. Barely lived in. 

No part of his apartment had ever truly felt like home to Dazai, which, in this case, made it so easy to leave it so abruptly like he was.

His phone in his pocket ringing snapped him back to attention as he moved to answer it. Akutagawa’s raspy voice came through the phone.

Dazai. Mori is requesting you immediately to his office.

“Alright. Did he tell you anything about the reason?”

He did not.

Dazai nodded only to himself before he continued. “If that is all, I will be hanging up now.”

Yes. Is all Akutagawa said before Dazai took the phone away from his ear and hung up. 

Dazai could not help feeling slightly uneasy about Akutagawa’s sudden call. Mori-san had never called for him this early, and much less through someone else. Usually Dazai came to him the day after a mission to give a report, but that was always later in the day. Why couldn’t Mori wait?

In the lobby of the Port Mafia headquarters he was on his way to Mori’s office, he was still in his clothes from the night before, not bothering to change out of them before meeting with the Boss. The door to the elevator he was waiting for, opened, and out stepped his soon-to-be ex partner, Chuuya.

“Chibi! What a pleasure to run into you!” Dazai said with a slightly condescending grin.

“Shitty Dazai” Chuuya was clearly not equally happy to see him. “I’m surprised you’re here. I thought you were dead to the world before noon.” Chuuya responded with his usual scowl.

“Gosh I wish! Today is full of surprises, isn’t it? Mori-san requested me through Akutagawa, so here I am! What brings Chibi here so early, hm?” The elevator behind Chuuya was closing. Dazai would have to wait for another.

“Same thing. Mori requested to speak with me as well.” Chuuya nodded.

“But not us together, interesting…” Dazai’s head tilted in confusion. “Alright, goodbye Chuuya!”

Chuuya simply nodded and walked away. 

Dazai pressed the button again, shifting his weight from foot to foot, the only sign of the anxiety twisting in the executives stomach about the whole situation.

Heavy doors loomed above him when he arrived, and Dazai knocked without hesitation, waiting to hear a “Enter” from Mori. 

When it came, he pushed the door open and closed it behind him. Mori was waiting behind his desk, hands clasped together on the surface. An intimidating air surrounded him as the blackout curtains closed from the floor-to-ceiling windows covering two of the four walls, leaving them in almost complete darkness besides a large overhead light that illuminated only Mori’s desk and about 12 feet in front of it. 

“Dazai. How are you this morning?” Mori asked, a cold, knowing smile on his lips.

“Fine, Mori-san. Tired. It’s early. May I ask why I’m here so early?” Dazai lets irritation stain his voice, knowing that Mori won’t do anything to his favorite executive.

“You may. You see, a little birdy told me something yesterday. Would you like to know what it was?” Mori’s head tilted slightly in condescension, the smile still playing on his lips.

Dazai resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “I would.”

“You wouldn’t be planning to leave the Port Mafia, would you, Dazai?”

Dazai’s stomach dropped to the floor and the whole world stopped for a good five seconds before he remembered himself, hoping he didn’t show anything on his face.

How could he possibly know that??

“And if I said yes?” Dazai kept his voice smooth, despite the inner turmoil writhing in his head.

Mori only chuckled. 

“Why, we couldn’t have that, could we? My best executive? Leaving? Because some low-rank employee told him he should ‘be good if he was gonna be anything’?” 

It was Dazai’s turn to chuckle. “Unfortunately, Mori-san. This isn’t up to you. After today, I will no longer consider myself a member of the Port Mafia.” 

Dazai knew that his face completely rivaled what he felt in his mind. He had spent many years of his life teaching himself to show the world the opposite of what he was feeling inside, to not show any weakness to those who might exploit it. Those like the dangerous Port Mafia leader, Mori Ougai.

“We have certain…measures we can take to keep you here, you know.” Mori responded.

“Like what?” Dazai asked, genuinely curious of what Mori thought that Dazai cared for more than his freedom.

“You know your friend Chuuya? I saw you spoke to him on your way in this morning.” Mori’s cold smile never faltered once.

Dazai had to try ten times harder to keep his own face still at the mention of his partner. See, over the years that Dazai and Chuuya were sent on mission after mission with each other, Dazai had regrettably…fallen for him. Never in his whole life would he admit that fact to Chuuya, hell, he’s barely even admitted it to himself, but in that moment he knew. Nothing could happen to his Chuuya. 

Dazai knew, of course, that Chuuya could handle himself. He was very powerful, in fact his power closely rivaled his own, but the whole Port Mafia against Chuuya? He wasn’t sure he’d make it without using his Corruption, and without Dazai there to save him from himself, he’d perish. 

After seconds of silence while Dazai’s thoughts swam around his head, Mori continued.

“The mission he was sent on today is a trap.” Mori’s smile grew wider, changing to look slightly manic. 

Dazai could feel the color draining from his face and hoped it didn’t show as much as it felt. 

Chuuya can handle himself. Chuuya can handle himself. Chuuya can handle himself. 

Dazai chanted the mantra in his head as Mori continued. 

“Of course, the damage inflicted today is only the start of what will continue to happen if you even slightly fall out of line, Dazai-kun.” 

“Chuuya can handle himself.” Dazai was grasping at straws in his head while trying to show a calm demeanor to his Boss.

“On a normal day, sure, but today? When I slipped a little something into the tea I offered him? He must be feeling a little disoriented right now. That would hinder his ability to be completely safe, now wouldn’t it.” 

Holy shit. This guy really is crazy.

Dazai stopped smiling, giving up on trying to look unbothered. Instead, he let his eyes grow cold, let himself look every bit the infamous Demon Prodigy he'd been labeled as since his teenage years. 

“You would really risk the safety of another high ranking member just for my staying?”

Dazai was in shock. But not as surprised as he maybe should have been. With all of the things he’s seen Mori do throughout the years, he should have expected it. 

“Of course. I can’t lose you, Dazai.” Mori’s eyes got more manic, portaying 100 percent the dangerous Port Mafia Boss he was. 

He continued. “You are dismissed, Dazai. Make your choice wisely. Chuuya could still use your help, if you get there in time, of course.” 

Dazai nodded, trying once again to keep his cool, but the moment he closed the heavy door to Mori’s office behind him, he ran.