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“Was that important?”
Arizona looked sideways, but the side of her helmet got in the way and she ended up having to wrangle herself to turn ninety degrees. Callie was holding something silver in her gloved hand, in a spacesuit like Arizona was, and looking sheepish behind the glass of her helmet.
Arizona stared at her. “Maybe. Did you ever look at those manuals?”
“No, I saw the email but got distracted.” Callie threw the silver lump aside. Her eyes flicked up and out the window, seeing a shape moving across the blackness of the sky. She pointed. “Is that Commander Jameson?”
Arizona followed her eyeline.
If it was Jameson, there wasn’t much of him left. And there was something small, green, and tentacled clinging to him, ripping bits of his suit off and tossing them into the expanse of space.
Callie inhaled and the air was metallic. She supposed that was what she got from the oxygen canister strapped to her back. “Looks like it. Damn it, that means it’s just us!”
Though she agreed, Arizona was accidentally upside down. She was fighting to right herself in the low gravity and struggling immensely, flailing like a tube man outside of a car store.
Callie grabbed her ankle and span her round again, though the momentum sent Callie spinning too.
Finally, after a lot of wrangling and grabbing at each other, they were face to face.
“We’re the only ones left,” Callie said, leaning forward so that their helmets met with a thud. It annoyed her. And the gloves were itchy.
“We shouldn’t have come out here,” Arizona said. “Who needs a pair of surgeons on a trip to the moon? It’s not like those aliens have bones to break, and I’m pretty sure they breed by osmosis.”
“For the sake of this fic,” Callie said, “let’s just say we were summoned along by the president and if we didn’t come, we’d be taken to a back field and shot.”
Arizona mulled it over, then shrugged and said, “works for me. Anyway, you’ve broken an important looking lever and you didn’t read the manuals? Did you even glance over the safety briefing?”
“It was dull,” Callie defended. “Dull and printed in size six font on A4 paper; no one was gonna read that thing. Even this author writes in size nine. With paragraph breaks.”
“Well, I read it,” Arizona said under her breath.
“You would.” Callie patted Arizona’s shoulder. “Well, how much oxygen have we got left? Enough to, like, wait for rescue?”
“God, you’re useless. How were you even allowed on here?” Arizona questioned with a scoff. “We have enough oxygen for ten minutes unless we get extra canisters.”
“Well, where are they?”
“They’re out there. With Jameson and the aliens. Because the author likes to torture us.” Arizona pointed out the window. “We’re fucked.”
“Oh.” Callie deflated some. "I don't think the author likes us very much."
Arizona shrugged. "I have no idea."
Callie sighed. "Maybe they love us so much that they like seeing us in pain."
"What?"
Callie waved a hand, almost upside down again. "Never mind."
Arizona glanced around, waning hope in her voice when she asked, “we're fucked, unless you know how to fly this stupid thing?”
Callie did the same, then grimaced and said, “it’s a little more complex than a car. And I think it takes three people to fly.”
“That’s a fucking shit design.”
“Why are you swearing so much?”
“The author thinks I have a dirty mouth.” Arizona sighed. “To be fair, I probably do. You'd know. Anywho, you didn’t read the manuals and neither of us know how to fly this thing, so we’re probably going to die in the next ten minutes, aren’t we?”
“Seems like it.” Callie’s hand found Arizona’s, gloves squeaking. Fucking stupid spacesuit fabric. “Damn. Who’s gonna help Mark and his sex life woes if I die up here?”
“I’m never gonna eat poundcake again,” Arizona said, horrified, completely ignoring Callie’s question. “No more buttery, sugary, delicious, poundcake!”
Callie gasped. “That’s awful!”
About to cry real, genuine tears over poundcake, Arizona’s helmet collided with Callie’s with a hollow thud.
The ship was slowly breaking apart around them because Callie had accidentally broken the single very obvious and breakable lever that held the whole damn thing together. Bit of a silly design, really; you’d have to take it up with the ship designer. Unless they’re floating out in space and being eaten by aliens, which is actually pretty probable. Oopsie.🕺
“I know what we can do with ten minutes,” Arizona said suddenly, looking up at Callie with fire in her eyes. Except that Callie was now the one upside down and it was a little bit like Spiderman. If Spiderman was a giant bisexual and MJ was a lesbian with commitment issues. Arizona tugged Callie back into position in front of her and said smartly, “we can spend our last ten minutes alive eating poundcake.”
Callie stared at her. “There’s poundcake on board?”
The floor was falling out from under them now, great big pieces of metal slipping out into space. Little green aliens were scurrying over the metal and making squeaking noises like some sort of weird extraterrestrial shrews.
“There is if you know where to look.” Arizona smirked, gloved hands settling on Callie’s sides and squeezing hard through her spacesuit. Callie could barely feel it, but the thought was there and that was what mattered.
“Oh,” Callie said, leaning in for a kiss and only making their helmets bonk together again. That was getting pretty irritating, she couldn’t lie. She huffed, reaching around Arizona to grab at her ass. As she did, she tugged Arizona closer and slipped her leg between Arizona’s, pulling her down onto it and grinding up and back.
“Fuck,” Arizona mumbled, voice crackling through the speaker on her collar. Callie’s roaming hands managed to loosen her oxygen line, though neither noticed because they were too busy being dumb and horny.
They were both upside down and in the expanse of space because the ship had fractured into shrapnel that surrounded them like extraterrestrial glitter. Still, they didn’t notice because all they could see is each other. Aww, cute. BUT IT WASN’T CUTE because if they’d been looking around, they might not have experienced what happened next.
Callie’s hands fumbled with the seal on Arizona’s helmet, only thinking about kissing her and not the horribly OBVIOUS thing that was going to happen when she broke the seal.
“I need you,” Callie said strongly, her voice wavering.
Arizona felt mildly light-headed and put it down to the arousal, and most certainly NOT the way her oxygen line was hissing. Surely that didn’t mean anything, right?
“Fuck, yes,” Arizona answered, grinding against Callie’s thigh though the spacesuits make it too fucking hard to get good friction.
Callie tugged Arizona’s helmet off, ready to kiss her with tongue and mean it.
Arizona’s head immediately exploded.
The impact broke Callie’s helmet and then her head exploded too.
The aliens had a field day.
The End <3