Chapter Text
Things with Chicago didn’t go as expected. Yes, he is pretty on the eyes and a sweetheart, but it just didn’t work. Maybe because of the distance, him in the army and Chloe in vet school, or just because he wasn’t good with sex, something Chloe takes very seriously (almost as seriously as Stacie).
She was the one breaking it up, but that doesn’t mean she didn’t suffer. She thought she was marrying that guy (at least for 5 seconds, before going to bed with him).
When the breakup happened, Aubrey was there for her, taking her to karaoke bars so she could release her energy on something she loves.
When she isn’t with Aubrey or working, she is rotting in bed scrolling through Instagram and sometimes, when things get really dark, even Facebook. It isn’t that bad, though; She is mostly keeping up with the other Bellas, at least that is what she says to herself.
She saw Flo at the opening of another store of her natural juice franchise, Cynthia-Rose’s pic in her army uniform, Emily becoming an up-and-coming songwriter, and Amy in France, spending her money.
The only time she regrets opening her social media is when Beca appears.
The girl whom she used to call her best friend and was her co-captain hasn’t talked to her since DJ Khaled picked her. Five years and no calls or texts. Chloe tried; She texted Beca through every way possible, called, and even emailed her. She got nothing.
Chloe wonders every single day about what might have happened, what she did wrong, but she can’t recall anything that would break the friendship they had.
She knows Beca is doing well. She can see it on Insta; When she calls Amy and the girl tells her about her adventures, some of which include seeing Beca on tour; When she is driving, and Beca’s voice invades the space.
She knows Beca is dating a Hollywood actor and appears to be happy. Happy without her. And it just throws Chloe off balance.
Seeing Beca is like seeing the one that got away.
She remembers holding Beca when Jesse left, not saying anything, just being there. Chloe stayed when Beca’s castle was crumbling. She wonders why that wasn’t enough. Why she wasn’t enough.
Chloe tried countless times to get Amy to help her reconnect with Beca, but apparently, Beca had asked every single one of the other Bellas not to give Chloe any of her personal information, which hit Chloe hard.
Chloe was exceptionally down during lockdown. She had no friends around, no job to go to, no one to hug. Sure, she could FaceTime Aubrey or Stacie to see little Bella, but Chloe always was a physical person; she needed the simple act of a hug.
And that was when she got the news about her mother. Her mother had passed away. It was very sudden, one day she was here and then she wasn’t.
The grief was hard, like most grief is. But for her, it was even worse because her (ex-)best friend wasn’t there for her, comforting her, during such a hard time.
Amy told her Beca had sent her condolences, but Chloe knew it was a lie Amy had made up to make her feel better.
Remembering about this hurts Chloe in a way she wouldn’t be able to put into words if asked. She closes her Instagram and turns off her phone, placing it next to her. She stares at the ceiling, thinking about everything she would tell Beca if, by some twist of fate, she saw her.
That’s when she hears her doorbell ring.
She gets up and drags her body to the front door, opening it in a quick movement.
“Aubrey, I thought we were only meeting later…” Chloe sees who is standing on the other side of the door, and doesn’t know what reality is anymore. Time seems to stop, yet she can feel her heart racing faster than an F1 car. She considers closing the door, maybe as an instinct to protect her feelings, but something inside stops her.
“Hey, Chlo…”
Chloe closed the door, just not physically. She couldn’t possibly mistreat the girl in any way or form, even if the girl had abandoned her.
She closed the door to her heart, though. She couldn’t let her in. Not after everything. Not again. She needs to protect herself. Or, at least, she knows she should.
“Beca,” she whispers, looking right into those dark blue eyes, eyes that once brought her happiness, now bring something between hurt and longing.
Beca changed. She is thinner, her facial features more pronounced, and some expression lines that weren’t there five years ago. Chloe thinks about how her makeup team is amazing, because she couldn’t notice them in the photos she saw of the other woman.
But after all, it is still Beca. Her Beca.
“Wha-What are you doing here?” the redhead asks, confused. She had no idea the younger one was in town. She thought she’d be somewhere between L.A. and some other part of the world, touring. She definitely never imagined she’d show up here.
“Can I come in? It’s kinda cold out here.” Beca asks shyly.
It makes no sense to Chloe that Beca would be shy around her, but after five years without contact, it adds up.
“Yeah, sure.” She steps aside, letting Beca through. Looking around her own apartment, she spots some things Beca shouldn’t see, not today, not now. Chloe walks quickly, tumbling the photo she has next to her tv down.
Beca looks at her with a blank stare. Chloe offers a fake side smile, hoping Beca won’t ask what the photo was.
Chloe plays with her fingers, trying to somehow manage the anxiety she is feeling. She focuses on them before raising her eyes and saying, ”This is unexpected. I had no idea you were in town.”
“Sorry for showing up like this. I just–I needed to see you.” Beca answers slowly, like she is testing the waters, like one wrong step would ruin everything. Beca knows that most of it is already ruined, but she couldn’t stand to lose it again.
“After five years?” Chloe’s eyebrow curves as she is waiting to hear the excuse the girl will give her. Not that it would change anything. She crosses her arms, resting her back against the brick wall.
Beca lets the words sink in. She knows she fucked up real bad. Beca feels her legs giving up, probably because of the look the redhead is giving her. Beca wants to hide. But instead, she sits on the couch behind her. Her eyes drop, she breathes heavily, letting her hand run through her hair. ”I’m sorry.”
“Don’t,” Chloe almost yells, cutting Beca off. “Not now.” She says, trying to calm down, a failed effort, ”Do you even know how much I– You know what? Forget it.” This time, she interrupts herself. She can’t let Beca see that she is affected by her presence. The older woman lifts her back from the wall, going to her kitchen. She can’t look at those deep blue eyes. Not when they have hurt her so much.
Seeing Chloe go triggers Beca. Without even noticing, she is standing and almost running behind the older one. “Chlo, let me explain. I know I should’ve called. I tried.”
“Sure did, just not with me! ‘Cause nothing from Miss Beca Mitchell came up on my phone for half a decade.” She turns when the other girl’s name leaves her lips. Reminding Beca that time had passed, looking right into her eyes. Trying as hard as she can to be cold as ice. “If you have nothing left to say, just leave.”
“Sure, but we will talk another time.” Beca tells her, almost as a promise, that Chloe would prefer to break.
And Beca leaves. Just like that. Leaving Chloe alone, once again.
When she hears the door closing, she lets a breath go that she didn’t know she was holding.
Chloe doesn’t know if she appreciates Beca leaving, as she demanded, or if she feels hurt.
Maybe she wanted Beca to fight for her this time. Maybe she just needed Beca to stay this time. Maybe if Beca had been a little more stubborn, Chloe would have given in, reopening the door to her heart.