Chapter Text
A young man stumbled up to them, looking visibly inebriated. He leaned into Robby's space, a glint of fear in his eyes despite the smile on his face.
“Heeyyy,” the young man slurred, Robby couldn't smell any alcohol on him, but that didn't mean much.
“Could you do me a like, reaally big favor?” Both Robby and Jack have turned to face the man at this point.
“What can we do for you, sweetheart?” Jack says, mildly amused. The kid's grin turns a little dopey at the pet name, and he seems to momentarily forget what he was doing. Robby nods, encouraging him to continue.
“Ooh, right,” the kid nods, “Can you pretend to be my boyfriend?” Jack snorts at that, Robby lets out a long, weary sigh.
“It'll just be for a few minutes!” The kid looks between them with a pleading expression on his face.
“Which one of us, hon?” Robby whips around to glare at Jack.
“What? I'm just asking a question.” Robby sighs again and shakes his head.
“You're about half our age, kid,” Robby tells the young man.
“That's not important!” The kid waves him off, stumbling slightly. Jack sits back and takes a sip of his beer, his amusement only increasing.
“Yeah, Mike,” Jack says while bumping the other man's shoulder with his own, “Age doesn't matter when you're only pretending.” Robby lets out another weary sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“Why do you want us to fake date you?” Robby asks. The kid shifts uncomfortably, the nervous glint returning to his eyes.
“This guy's been following me like, all night.” Both of the older men sobered instantly at the kid's admission, matching frowns on their faces. Robby gets up and pulls the kid into his seat, Jack gets up as well, crowding against the kid's other side. The two of them form a wall, separating the younger man from the rest of the bar.
“What does he look like?” Jack's tone is firm, ignoring the surprised look on the kid's face.
“Uhm,” the kid squeaks, “White shirt, black pants, dumb swoopy hair…” the kid trails off.
“Him?” Robby asks, jerking his head in the direction of a man sitting alone further down the bar. The younger man nods, a grimace on his face. Robby puts a hand on the small of his back and starts rubbing in comforting circles.
“It's alright, kid, we'll stay with you for as long as you need us to,” Jack murmurs, leaning in close and placing a hand on the kid's shoulder. The kid tears up a bit, his shoulders trembling.
“Thank you… Both.” He mumbles. The kid shakes his head, as if he were trying to clear it.
“Also,” the kid rubs his face with a hand, “I think he fuckin’ spiked my drink.”
“Shit.” Robby grabs the kid's wrist, checking his pulse. Jack pulls out his phone and turns on the flashlight, turning the kid's face towards his to check his pupils.
“Pulse is tachy at one hundred forty,” Robbert spits out, the kid lets out a little laugh.
“I'm just kind of like that.” The kid says.
“What, have a bpm of one hundred forty?” Robby asks, a little incredulous. The kid nods, a pleasant smile on his face.
“Either way,” Jack butts in, “Your pupils aren't contracting.” He gives Robby a look over the kid's head. Robby nods.
“Let's get him to the ER,” Robby gently pulls the kid to his feet.
“I'll let the bartender and bouncer know, you get the kid into the car.” Jack stalks off to get the bartender's attention, very deliberately not punching the kid's stalker in his face. He does not need an assault charge tonight.
Robby does his best to quickly but gently bundle the kid into their truck; the kid's fine motor controls seem to be waning, as he stumbles his way through the bar. Thankfully, they aren't followed out.
Robby tucks the kid into the backseat, buckling him up and climbing in after him. When Jack catches up to them, he doesn't say anything about Robby sitting with the kid in the back.
The ride to the ER passes by unbearably slow, Jack white-knuckling the steering wheel the whole way. Robby does his best to keep the kid awake in the backseat, using a combination of questions and shaking whenever the kid starts to doze off.
When they finally arrive, they're quick to get the kid checked in. When asked, the kid easily hands over his ID and insurance card, pulling it out of the small bag he'd been carrying with him. With both doctors hovering nervously next to him, they're able to get him back and into a room for observation in no time.
The kid happily lies back on the bed, a bleary look on his face as whatever he was spiked with starts fully kicking in. He doesn't protest when Perlah comes in to take his vitals.
He points wordlessly at his bag, sitting on one of the chairs in the room. Robby, who had been sitting next to the bed, reached over to hand it to him.
“Thank you, daddy.” The kid slurred, flashing the man a soft smile. Everyone in the room besides the kid froze. Perlah's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. Jack was poorly holding in a laugh, incredibly amused by Robby's bright red cheeks. Unaware of the change in atmosphere, the kid sleepily pulled out a small stuffed animal that he hugged to his chest.
“What,” Robby choked out, “Did you call me?” The kid didn't respond, having nodded off. Robby gently shook him awake, the kid blinked at him, a hazy look on his face.
Perlah excused herself, eyes still wide. No doubt she was going to tell the whole staff about what she'd seen.
Robby sighs, again.
Several hours later, Jack and Robby are debating the pros and cons of taking the kid home to continue their observation there.
“It'd be freeing up a bed,” Jack argued, ever the pragmatist, “and he's been stable this whole time.”
“What would we do if he crashes?” Robby shoots back.
“The same thing we'd do if he were here. Save him.” Jack responded.
Eventually, Robby conceded and agreed they could take the kid home. They were able to wrangle an address out of a slightly more sober kid, and before long were on the road again.
The ride to the kid's address was peaceful, Jack electing to let Robby drive so he could sit in the back with the kid. He had been bemused by the whole situation (after they were able to confirm the kid was safe), but was looking forward to washing his hands clean and finally getting some sleep before his next shift. However, during the ride, he was subjected to the kid's sleepy cuddles, which were slowly melting his resolve. The kid was sweet, even while drugged out of his mind.
Jack and Robby kept up a quiet conversation the whole ride. The kid seemed content to participate in his own way, repeating every few words Jack or Robby said in a soft babble.
By the time they got to his address, Jack was thoroughly endeared to the kid.
Jack had to help the kid balance as he staggered his way to his apartment's front door. Instead of letting the kid fumble with his keys, Robby took them and unlocked the door himself.
The interior was lived in. Pastel colors, childish wall decals, and stuffed animals filled the small space. It matches the kid perfectly from what he's seen. The kid stumbles through the space, making a beeline to what Jack assumes is his bedroom.
For lack of something better to do, Jack and Robby follow after the kid. Both of them curious about what the kid's room might look like.
It's more of the same cutesy decor, with a large nest for a bed. The kid happily plops onto the edge of the bed and starts trying to take his shoes off. Robby sighs and gets down on one knee in front of the kid, reaching to help untie his shoelaces. Robby groans about his back, Jack snickers at him. Jack decides to sit down next to the kid and toe off his own boots.
Once his shoes are off, the kid flops over and wriggles his way into the center of the nest, clearly looking for something.
“What are you looking for, bud?” Jack scoots further into the nest. Robby gives in and takes off his shoes as well, moving to sit on the other side of the kid.
The kid lets out a loud “Ha!” when he finds what he was looking for. He sticks whatever it is in his mouth, and both older men panic for a second before realizing he wasn't swallowing anything.
“Oh,” Jack breathes as the kid turns to face him with a pacifier in his mouth.
“Oh sweetheart.” Jack can't help the giddiness that bubbles up in his chest. A baby. Of course they just happen to stumble across a baby. Jack elects to ignore Robby's confused grunt in order to coo over the adorable little thing they found.
“What is happening?” Robby's voice is rough. Jack nearly rolls his eyes. Leave it up to Robby to ruin such a delightful surprise.
“He's a regressor,” Jack nearly slaps Robby upside the head. Sometimes he could be so dense. Robby just blinks at Jack.
“An age regressor?” Robby continues to look dumbfounded.
“Wow, you are not hip with the kids.” The baby lets out a delightful giggle.
Robby's eyes soften at the sound.
“Maybe I don't need to understand,” Robby murmurs. He reaches out and brushes a thumb across the kid's cheek.