Chapter Text
Paris woke up groggily, he had a hard time sleeping that night. The bed was way too comfortable something he wasn't used to as a shepherd.
Well, prince now.
Paris opened the window, well, he could leave out the front door like a normal person but that's for losers.
"Paris~"
WHO THE FUCK IS SAYING HIS NAME?!
"Paris."
Are these the Furies? Oh come on just because his existence is a crime doesn't mean he should be punished as such.
"Paris!"
With that three GODDESSES showed up in front of him.
One was dark skinned with lovely braids and a crown on top, white arms, a long pelops with a green gradient blue chylamis wrapped around it. There were peacock feathers on the ba— Lady Hera?!
Another had black hair and pale skin with a helmet on top. A full set of armor complete with a shield and sword. Those grey ey— Lady Athena?!
The last had red hair that pooled down to cover her nude body, yellow eyes, and a heart curled on her che— Lady Aphrodite?!
Paris' jaw was probably to the ground unable to speak.
"Paris." They all spoke simultaneously.
"We need YOU to choose who is the most beautiful to obtain this golden apple."
And with that he was given the most beautiful golden apple by lady Hera expected to make hi pick.
Oenone is more beautiful than all- No, not the time to think of her.
Seeing his hesitation they started offering him gifts.
First up was grey eyes Athena she offered wisdom in war:
"If you give me the golden apple, you'll never loose a battle."
But that means a battle will start.
Then came the lovely queen Hera, she offered kingdoms and more:
"Tell me what you want to be king of! I'll give you all if Asia!"
But then again, a war will start.
Beautiful Aphrodite smirked and offered.
"What good is war without someone to fight for? What good is a kingdom when it falls without an heir? I'll give you both; I'll give you the most beautiful maiden of your choice!"
The peaceful option, no war meaning crazy Cassandra is wrong and he isn't that big of a problem
Paris almost immediately shook his head but he had to be respectful so he took a deep breath. "I choose lady Aphrodite."
Both Athena and Hera were stunned watching Paris give the golden apple to Aphrodite.
"WHAT?!"
Both screamed, but aye, at least he has one goddess protecting him.
Athena and Hera flew off in a fit of rage, Aphrodite only turned to him. "So my glorious Paris, who's the lucky girl?"
Paris puffed out his chest. "Helen of Sparta!"
Aphrodite almost frowned. "Helen of... Sparta? Well, of course but you most know something."
Paris's interest was piqued. "Yes lady Aphrodite? What is it? What must you tell me?"
Aphrodite took a deep breath. "From my own personal knowledge by my sister's boasting, Helen of Sparta is married to Menelaus of Mycenae— now Sparta. Her student had told every suitor of Helen to swear an oath to protect whoever she marries. So taking her will lead to war."
Paris froze, war? That's the exact thing he tried to not start.
"But do not fret, sweet Paris! Me, Apollo, Ares, and I'm sure Artemis and many many more are with you Trojans! You will not lose."
Well, that's reassuring.
Aphrodite leaned down and kissed his cheek and flew away leaving Paris to process that with a flushed face.
Did- did the goddess of beauty kiss him-?
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Paris was eating breakfast with his way too large family when Hector spoke up. "Oh Paris, you need to travel to Sparta."
Welp the chance came.
"Why...?" Paris found himself questioning, are- are they sacrificing him-?
Deiphous spoke up next. "So that you start peace with Achea and whatever."
Okay... They probably are gonna kill him when he returns.
Cassandra stood up. "NO! YOU CAN'T SEND HIM! HE'LL BE BACK WITH PAIN AND ANGER! THE ONE WHO BRINGS PAIN AND ANGER!" The crazed gal screamed.
No one payed attention to her like they always did.
Hector leaned in. "Paris if you screw anything up I'll personally set you ablaze."
Paris batted his eyes. "Oh come on! I'm your little brother!"
"I have way too many of those, I can lose one."
okay, fair.
Paris put his hands up in surrender. "Listen, I'm gonna start peace and that's it, okay?"
Aphrodite has to do magic on Hector so he isn't killed when he comes back or something.
"Sure...." Helenus said unconvinced.
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Paris had set sail with Aeneas who totally didn't try to drown him a couple times.
Paris was wearing rags so he could sneak into the palace easier.
Then they landed to Sparta. Aeneas grabbed his hand. "Hector won't kill you if you cause trouble okay?"
"Oh I know killing siblings is h-"
"I will before we even set sail to Troy."
Why does everyone want him dead :(?
Then Aeneas let him go in.
Paris snuck into the Palace of Sparta and- OH GODS WHO IS THAT.
A chestnut colored hair and curled just above his shoulders, deep tan unblemished skin. Two heterochromic eyes, one a dark richy chocolate brown with the burst of honey in the middle just pure sweetness, the other a light blue of the inviting sky.
OH GODS IT'S EROS! WHAT'S EROS DOING HERE?! AND ITTING BETWEEN THESE ACHEAN KINGS.
"Who are you?!" Menelaus demanded, he knew him from the portraits outside.
Paris did a bow. "Prince Paris, one of the many sons of the reigning king of Troy...."
All but Eros erupted in laugher.
"A prince of Troy? Dressed like that?" A huge man with black hair asked. (it's ajax the greater for you people)
"Did you bring your army, boy?! Are they also in rags?!" A lean man with brunette hair and a mole next to his eye asked mockingly. (It's Idomeneus for you people)
"Royalty? Heh, I've seen more royal looking tramps than you." Menelaus had chuckled.
"An entry by disguise is an excellent ploy..." Eros mused —please talk more that guy's voice is fucking orgasm worthy— "I shall remember that, prince of Troy."
Eros stood up and walked over to him, Paris wondered if he'd be in their side like Lady Aphrodite and Ares, well of course why would he stray from his parents? "Don't laugh too loudly my friends! He's real!"
Wait— FRIENDS?!
"Look at his hand," Eros grabbed his hand and Paris short-circuited. "Priam's seal."
Murmurs of disbelief and shock spread. Before a guy that looked like Menelaus but older stood up. "Well, if we are to have such an honored guest as Odysseus said."
Wait... THIS is Odysseus?
The man continued. "Arrange food and chambers! Give him the best! So when you come to your senses, tell us about your trade, your... Defenses."
Oh come on, Paris isn't that stupid.
Paris was led off a bathroom and was bathed with water and oil by servants. Then put a room.
Aphrodite showed up. "So.... Helen?"
Paris smirked. "No, but better."
Now interest was etched on Aphrodite's face. "Oh? Who? I don't believe there's a fairer maiden."
"But a fairer man."
Aphrodite blinked. Paris explained. "J-just come with me and you'll understand."
Paris started to walk around, what he could make out before walking in was that this diplomatic mission will stay for a while so they have guest rooms they reside in.
Now if he could just find the one this Odysseus is from...
Aphrodite deadpanned. "Where are we going?"
Paris decided to answer. "To Odysseus... Trust me you'll understand."
Aphrodite looked conflicted but decided to help him regardless. "There."
'Ὀδυσσεύς' was the room name they stopped at.
With golden dust they were teleported in, so Odysseus doesn't awake from the noise of the door.
Okay, kidnapping 101 starting now.