Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1: The Heart Asks for Pleasure First –
The sounds of soft chatter and glasses clinking filled the room as Emily took her seat, pulling her chair in close to the table and setting down her glass of seltzer.
The stage was empty, in a way. A piano sat alone with a beam of light shining down on it. Emily only knew that there was a performance tonight, didn’t know who it was playing. She’d never been here at all.
She pulled out her journal and pencil, flipping open to a page that felt comfortable.
At some point, the chatter quieted, and a girl stepped out. Emily was immediately fascinated.
She was beautiful.
She shifted in her seat, turning more towards the stage as the girl sat down and cleared her throat, preparing herself to play.
Emily had never really cared for learning music herself unless it was for family traditions but those were rare now, only on holiday visits. It was more important to her when she was younger but now she was in her late twenties and it wasn’t something she bothered for anymore.
The woman began to play a few notes before her voice came clear into the microphone, and effortlessly perfect.
Emily’s mind seemed to explode with words and expressions that she had never even thought of before now. How could a girl she’d never even known existed bring that much into her mind?
It was such a simple piano tune but adding to it with her voice made it sound lovely.
She couldn’t pull her eyes from her, despite how much her hand ached to write she just wasn’t able to with the woman playing.
Emily looked at the table beside her, leaning over to the man.
“Who is this?” She whispered.
“Susan Gilbert, local here.” He replied before relaxing back in his seat once more.
Susan.
She repeated internally.
Susan Gilbert.
She hummed it under her breath, letting it roll off the tongue.
“Susan.”
She had to speak with her after the show— I mean, how could she not?
The girl, Susan, played about three more songs before finishing, and the room echoed soft claps, a whistle or two.
She stepped backstage, Emily had never stood up so quickly in her life. She reached and grabbed her journal and pencil before rushing to one of the doors that was most definitely supposed to have a security guard blocking the entrance.
Pushing open the door she found Susan already grabbing her purse like she just had to leave.
“Susan, right?”
She perked up at her name, shocked that this woman was just… here.
“Yeah, uhm, yes that’s me.” She fumbled out.
“That was beautiful. I just had to say it personally.”
“Thank you.”
A soft, and somewhat nervous chuckle escaped her lips. Her cheeks flushing just a tad.
“Do you do this professionally?” Emily found herself asking her.
“Oh, ah, no. I tutor but it doesn’t make enough money to be an only job type of thing.” She said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“It should be, you sound amazing.”
“Please, I'm not that good.”
Emily hummed softly, disagreeing without words.
“Anyway, I should really get going. Thank you, for coming.” With that, she was out the back doors.
Emily quickly followed after but she was gone, just like that. The main front doors shut softly.
She found herself later at home, late at night on her laptop. Searching her name. Susan Gilbert NY.
A few links popped up, her instagram, facebook and a link at some show place where she would be playing at in a week, a small gig, but one nonetheless that Emily could try to attend.
She clicked the link to the show, searching for her name, date and time. Scrolling down, she finds that it’s next weekend at 8pm. Emily adds it into her calendar.
Slowly shutting her laptop, she sets it aside and curls into the blankets. She lets out a heavy breath and shuts her eyes.
.˚ ✦ . . ˚ . . ✦ . ˚
Cold wind gushes past Emily as she waits to cross the street, eyeing the small lit up building.
She weaves through people, almost speed walking across the busy street. Her shoes make contact with the sidewalk again and she hurries over to the building, almost running late.
A breeze of wind followed in after her upon entering the building, and as she went to take a seat she noticed Ben. One of her closest friends.
She rushed over to his table where he sat alone.
“Ben! What’re you doing here?” She said with a smile, keeping her voice low.
He looked shocked to see her before grinning and leaning up to give her a hug, his hand patting her back.
“Emily, it’s good to see you.” His voice was soft. “I’m a friend of Sue’s.”
Sue, she went by Sue.
“Ah, I talked to her a couple days ago.”
“Oh? Do you know her?”
“No.” Emily hesitated. “But I want to.”
Ben gave her a look, one she couldn’t quite place. She returned a confused one back.
“What?”
“Nothing. I can just tell when you get transfixed on someone.”
“I am not—“
“You are.” He drew out with a smug grin.
“Whatever.” She mumbled, finally sitting down.
“She’s single.” He teased playfully.
“I’m not into her!”
“Stage one, denial, Emily.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.
She glared up at him, frowning while adjusting her scarf.
“Y’know, I'm taking her home after this. Maybe I'll mention you.” Ben hummed out.
“You’d do that?” She smiled.
He nodded once before turning his attention to the stage, raising his glass when he made eye contact with Sue. A smile crossed her lips and Emily was transfixed.
“Uhm, thank you all for coming. It’s a cold night so, uh, please stay warm on your way out.” Her voice was so elegantly soft that it ached in Emily’s chest.
The piano began shortly after and once again, Emily couldn’t pull her eyes away. Ben noticed but didn’t mention it.
After the show, Sue stepped out from one of the back doors, approaching Ben.
“Hey, Sue, meet Emily. She’s a close friend.”
Emily stood quickly, moving beside Ben.
“Hi.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember you.” She smiled gently.
Emily’s chest warmed.
“You do?”
“Yeah, you came backstage to talk to me, right?”
Emily nodded, hands clasped together in front of her.
“Hey, why don’t I take you ladies out to get drinks?” Ben offered.
“Oh that’d be great Ben.” Sue practically purred out, unintentionally or not, it sent a shockwave through Emily.
Emily could only bring herself to nod, and followed after the two out of the building and to Ben’s car.
He took them to the best bar he knew in town— which to Ben meant quiet and the drinks tasted horrible —but nonetheless it was a bar.
There was no one but a single bartender in the building.
“Ben, no offense, but you pick the worst bars.” Emily glared gently.
“It’s true, he does.” Sue whispered with a quiet giggle.
Emily softened. Surely it wouldn’t be that hard to bond with her.
A few drinks— or rather many drinks for Emily, Ben decides that they’ve all had enough to drink and pays the bartender.
“Emily, you’ve been very drunk.. for the last hour.”
She giggles, stumbling into him. Sue watches carefully, an amused grin on her face.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
She groans in response, practically limp against him.
“Okay we’re getting you home.” He mumbles.
Ben drives towards Emily’s apartment, Sue sitting next to her in the back seat and despite barely knowing this girl she doesn’t mind that she’s leaning against her heavily while mumbling incoherently.
Upon arriving he digs through Emily’s bag for her keys.
“Found em.” A soft jangle follows after.
“By the way, she has a giant dog so be prepared.”
“Oh, okay.” She nods, holding Emily against her.
He unlocks her door and pushes it open quietly, “Frazar!” Ben calls out, and the black Newfoundland comes barreling towards the front entrance.
The dog manages to perfectly come to a stop, licking at Ben’s fingertips.
“Hey bud.” He says softly, patting his head.
“Here, her bedroom is over here.” He leads the way and Sue follows after, adjusting Emily in her arms.
Pushing open her bedroom door, Frazar immediately jumps up onto the bed, taking almost all the space already.
“Down.”
The dog gets down very quickly.
Ben takes Emily, and god, she’s hardly conscious.
“C’mon…” He grunts, putting her into her own bed carefully.
“Is she gonna be okay alone?”
“Um… yeah, she should be. I think.” He spoke hesitantly.
Sue gave him a look, even if she didn’t really know Emily, she definitely didn’t seem in the right place to be alone at the moment.
“Why don’t we just stay the night? I don’t have work tomorrow.”
Ben hesitated, looking back at Emily knocked out on her bed.
“I.. have work tomorrow though.”
“Oh.”
Fuck.
“Why don’t you stay? I’m sure she’ll be happy to wake up not alone.”
“…Why not.” She sighed with a small smile.
“Thanks, you’re awesome, Sue.”
She simply shrugged.
“Helping a girl out.”
Ben left not too long after. Sue managed to set up a bed on the couch, made sure the dog had food and Emily’s door was closed for privacy.
Emily stirred, letting out a soft groan. God her head was pounding.
She rolled out of bed, heading to her bathroom and running a hand through her messy hair.
She scoops up a tylenol and two ibuprofen, popping them into her mouth before leaning down to drink from the tap.
“Emily?” Sue calls out softly from her bedroom doorway.
“Oh shit. Hi?”
“Hey, I uh, stayed the night. I hope that’s okay.”
Emily waved her off quickly.
“No yeah, totally. Better than being alone.” She nods, smiling awkwardly.
Sue watches her for a moment.
“Do you wanna go out? Get breakfast? or do you not feel good.”
“Oh, I'll be fine soon. I’d like that, to go out.”
Sue smiled and nodded once.
“Okay. Great. Ready whenever you are.” She spoke softly before heading back out into the living room.
Emily found Frazar next to her, whining softly.
“Hi big boy.” She drawled out in a baby voice, ruffling his ears, to which he happily wagged his tail to.
Around 10 minutes later the medicine was kicked in and Emily was finally dressed, walking out of her bedroom.
“Okay. Do you know somewhere nearby?”
“Yep.” She held up her phone, google maps already put in and ready to walk over.
“Bundle up.” She teased softly.
A smile crossed Emily’s lips as she wrapped her scarf around her neck.
“You need one?” She asked, holding out an extra.
“…Yeah, actually.”
She took the scarf in her hands before wrapping it around her. Emily’s perfume seemed to wrap around her head instantly.
“Do you mind if I bring Frazar? He hasn't been out since yesterday afternoon.”
“Of course!”
After leashing up Frazar they finally left Emily’s apartment and made their way towards a small coffee shop Sue had picked out.
“Is this your idea of breakfast?” Emily teased, looking at the menu while they waited in line.
“They serve food, Emily.” She argued back.
“I'm kidding.” A smile crossed her lips and Sue could only roll her eyes in response.
Once it was finally their turn at the register, Sue ordered like she'd been here a hundred times, and maybe she had.
The two sat down near a window, watching the people pass. Sue had gotten a simple latte and a raspberry scone. Emily ordered an americano and a poppyseed muffin. (plus a few dog treats for Frazar).
“You seem to come here often?”
“Yeah I guess so, it's a nice area.” She hummed out.
Emily nodded, her mouth full of muffin Sue couldn't help the small giggle that left her lips at Emily’s puffed out cheeks while acting so normal about it.
“What?–”
Her voice was muffled by the food and she looked utterly confused. Sue only shook her head while covering her mouth.
“You look like a chipmunk!”
Emily scoffed out a laugh once her food was finally down.
“I bet you look like one while you're eating too!” She shot back playfully.
“I take very polite bites, thank you very much.” Sue spoke before taking a bite of scone into her mouth, and Emily pouted dramatically like a toddler that was told they couldn't have any cookies before dinner.
“Whatever, you suck.” But even as she said this, a smile lingered on her lips.
“Do you live far?”
“Sorta.”
“I can drive you, please?”
Sue hesitated, “Fine.” she sighed.
“Hell yeah.” Emily grinned, giving her playfully victory punches.
“Okay okay, stop.”
She held her hands up in surrender. “Off to the car we go!”
The drive to Sue’s was quiet, but peaceful. Comfortable. Both girls seemed okay with the silence and that was all that mattered to Emily. It was as if Sue cured her hang over by just going out for breakfast.
Pulling into the driveway, Emily felt a tad disappointed that Sue was leaving, but at least she could geek out to Ben about how the day went. Or to George about everything that had happened, he didn't even know who Sue was.
“Ill see you later?”
“When is later?
“Whenever you want.” Bold move, but Emily liked it. She hadn't done anything remotely romantic in a long time and this all felt good.
“Okay.” She smiled. “Bye.”
The car door shut and Emily made sure to watch her make it inside and fully shut the door before pulling out of the driveway.
“Ben, pick upp!!” Emily groaned, watching the phone ring repeatedly. Finally he picked up, his face coming up on her screen.
“What the fuck happened to make you spam call me six times, Emily?”
She smiled apologetically, knowing he was probably studying for law school.
“I needed to tell you how it went with Sue, since I'm guessing you told her to stay the night.”
“Uh, shockingly not. She offered but I had school.”
“ohmygodshewantsme.”
“Ems, she barely knows you.”
“I’m just that charming!” She shot back smugly.
“Whatever you say.” He mumbled into the screen, running his hand through his hair.
“I have to go, my class is starting soon.”
“Booooo, can’t believe you’re in school.” Emily stuck her tongue out before Ben abruptly hung up.
Emily checked the time, frowning. Wow she had a lot of time left in the day.
She drummed her fingers on her stirring wheel, she'd been home for an hour now but she didn’t mind sitting in the car.
She blew out a heavy breath, her hair momentarily moving out of the way before coming back down, only to brush it away. Finally she pulled the keys out of her car and headed back inside to her apartment. The least she could do was get some journaling work done.
After a few hours of work, she realized how late it was getting– almost seven p.m already?
Grabbing her phone, Emily decided to order take out, something she did often due to her inability to cook despite her mothering being effortlessly perfect at it. Not even thirty minutes later her doorbell rang with a young man at the door holding a box of pizza. She tipped him well with how speedy he was.
With leftovers, she put them away in her fridge, which embarrassingly held about 4 other boxes of leftovers that she definitely needed to throw out at this point.
Emily shut the fridge with a wince.
“Frazar!”
“Come here boy.” The large dog padded over and she quickly hooked up his leash. Night walks were peaceful with a big intimidating dog like him.
She bundled up for warmth, as it was only getting colder and colder in New York. Unfortunately she could never find a big enough sweater for Frazar.
Emily hums softly to herself as she walks, feeling the cold air bite at her fingertips, which are now turning pink, as well as her cheeks.
Some point in her walk she gets a hot chocolate. Her hands feel warm, and so does her stomach. It’s calming.
She lets out a heavy breath, Sue is the only thing on her mind, unsurprisingly. As much as she wants to see her— she has plans with George tomorrow and anything other than that is just work.
Sue can wait.