Chapter Text
She came awake slowly, surprised that while her head was pounding nothing else ached. Particularly considering she seemed to have been sleeping on a couch. A very familiar couch. A couch that burnt in a fire 20 some years ago.
She glanced around. This was the old house. Her mother’s house, oh! And look. There was Derek on the floor. He really was hot as hell, wasn’t he? The bittersweet nostalgia hit her.
Maybe this was the Alzheimer’s finally taking hold? Well, if this was supposed to be the morning after their one night stand, she had places to be. Dearly missed old friends to see again for the first time (George).
She pulled the blanket off Derek, pausing for a moment to admire his ass. Really hot.
She dropped a pillow on it, startling him awake, and made her way around him.
He picked up her bra “This is…”
“This has to be a dream, don’t you think? The ‘having a one night stand with a guy who looks like your late husband and showing up late to your first day of work’ dream.”
“I look like your late husband?” Derek asked, clearly flummoxed. Poor boy.
“In a decade or two, if you cut your hair short and let it go silver. I’m sure you’ll be a silver fox, like he was.”
“You have dreams like that a lot?” he asked, lips turned up in an uncertain smile. Like he wasn’t quite sure he should be smiling, but since she was cheerful…
“More than you’d think. It’s right up there with the ‘having to hold a bomb steady in a body cavity’ dream. Not a favorite, that one. Or the ‘unknown half-siblings appearing out of nowhere to tell me about their etch-a-sketch skills’ dream. Poor Lexie, really no social skills at all,” she shook her head in mock sadness.
“Someone did that? Really?”
“Really. Half sister. Didn’t even know she existed until this year. Terrible at conversation starters. But she’s mine and nothing and no one is hurting her on my watch, not if I can help it.”
Oh, there go the soft eyes. Derek always was a sucker for protecting little sisters. I wonder… would this Derek fall in love with this me? The 67 year old me, admittedly in a 27 year old body?
“Still, I’d prefer the late to work dream. Because, quite frankly,” she gave him a lascivious once over, “the scenery has a lot going for it.”
He relaxed at her blatant flirtation. That, he knew how to react to. He gave her the exact same look back, “I’d have to agree with you, there.”
“Right. I have to shower, and when I’m done, you’ll be gone. So I can get to work. I’d invite you to shower with me, but I don’t trust my self discipline to keep me from pouncing you, and then I’d be really late for work.”
“I don’t know, I could help you with hard to reach places. I’m a helpful guy,” he offered, hopefully.
“I just bet you are.”
Oh, there are the McDreamy eyes. And the pout. Oh, fine.
She reached out, ran a finger up the lapel of his shirt, all while keeping her eyes focused on his. His pupils dilated in anticipation.
She tugged him toward her for one last kiss. Which he enthusiastically participated in. It was like fire in her veins. The bite of intoxication just from the press and taste of his mouth. His tongue asked for entrance and she granted it. And for the first time in more than a quarter century, she tasted Derek Shepherd again.
She forced down the tears that attempted to rise. Hoped he read her heightened emotions as passion. Certainly there was a large helping of that.
When she finally pulled away, she realized she’d twined her leg around his hip and he was cupping her ass in his hands.
“You,” she said “are far too good at that.”
He gave her a cocky smile, confident in a way he hadn’t been when he’d first woken. And there was something in that observation that caught her attention. She noted it for later consideration.
Still, the boyish grin and the glee in his eyes made her laugh with delight.
“You, out. Me, shower.”
He smiled ruefully, conceding defeat.
She began making her way up the stairs.
“I’m leaving my number,” he called up after her. “You should call me!”
“I’ll consider it.”
******
What an unexpectedly interesting woman, Derek thought. He’d noticed she was beautiful immediately the prior night. A bit quirky and playful in their banter. And completely uninterested in his money or status, which was wonderful.
No, her priority had been finding out how many times he could bring her to orgasm last night. She’d been quite vocally appreciative. And a generous lover in return.
On that basis alone he’d want to see her again. But then the effortless joking this morning had him both off balance and charmed.
The story about her newfound sister was sweet, and so completely matter of fact, he had no doubts she’d unsheath her claws in the girl’s defense.
The late husband… he wondered if his resemblance to the man was the reason for her initial disinterest the night before. Though it did sound like he’d been significantly older. It must have been devastating for her to be widowed so young.
He had to admit, her open sexual appreciation of him was flattering as hell. And that last kiss!
He shook his head, still smiling as he let himself out. Seattle was proving surprising in very good ways.
********
She pondered reality as she drove her old jeep to work. Was this a dream? Was this a hallucination created by the brain at the moment of death? Was this the afterlife? Was it Alzheimer’s? Or was she actually getting to relive her life, starting from her first morning with Derek?
Did it even matter? Treat it like it’s real, and whatever it turns out to be will be fine. Though she remembers a whole lot of drama during her residency years. The thought of it was exhausting. Honestly, she’s not sure she would choose to be with Derek with all she knew now. Not that she didn’t love him. The him of now hadn’t learned the lessons her Derek had, not yet. And she can’t imagine putting up with some of his bullshit all over again.
She thought again of that shift in his demeanor she’d noticed earlier. And, if she remembers correctly, it was a shift from his behavior the night they met. As much as he’d been trying to project confidence, there was a sadness to him. His light had been dulled. But then… once she started making her desire for him clear, he lit up.
He responded strongly, positively, to any sign of sexual appreciation. Which made so much sense in context once you looked at it. Odds were his sex life with Addison wasn’t that great. Probably hadn’t been for a few years. And she cheated on him with Mark, who oozed sex appeal.
In terms of career and accomplishments, the two men could compete, but Derek usually came out ahead. Neuro was simply higher status and better respected. But in sex, considering Mark’s large array of partners, it would make sense for Mark to be ahead. So long as Derek had a wife, though, he could feel secure about that part of his life. But then there’s Mark with all his experience and even Addison turns to him for sex. Derek’s wife turned to someone else for sex.
It was ridiculous to think Derek was doubting his own sex appeal, but insecurity doesn’t have to make sense.
One of the things he’d loved about her was how in tune with her sexuality she was. How willing to tell him she wanted him. And how vocal she was during sex.
Perhaps that also explained why he became so unreasonably jealous of any man she slept with. Completely illogical and unfair, but if he took each of her encounters with someone else as evidence of his sexual inadequacy, that might explain those explosions. It didn’t excuse them, though.
Men were so dumb sometimes. Stupid boy penises.
******
Everything with the other interns went pretty much the way she remembered. She and Cristina still gravitated toward one another immediately. Poor George stumbled all over himself in his crush on her. Which she was nipping in the bud.
“You were wearing this black dress with a slit up the side and these strappy sandals and… and now you think I’m gay. I’m not gay.”
“I’m warning you right now, I only date men who are inappropriate or unhealthy for me. That’ll probably be the case for another 10 years or so.” She clasped George’s hand between hers, “So, I’m sorry George, but you simply make too much sense. Friends?”
Cristina chortled behind her. Izzie looked on in a mixture of confusion and curiosity. Alex, still in his Evil Spawn days, laughed his ass off.
“She sure told you, Bambi!”
She patted Alex on the shoulder, “Don’t worry, you don’t have a chance either. It would be like having sex with myself. And that’s what masturbation’s for. But I will let you babysit my kids someday.”
“Uh, you have kids?” George asked. “Isn’t it hard being a mom and an intern?”
“I don’t have kids, George. Whatever gave you that idea?”
(Well, not in this time and place. But hopefully they were still doing just fine 40 years into the future).
Cristina was flat out cackling by that point. Alex stared at her like he wasn’t sure if he should be giving her a high five or fleeing. Izzie just looked like she might be constipated.
“Oh, oh,” Cristina was winding down. “You, I like.”
“What’s not to like?” Meredith shrugged.
Soon enough their names were called (aside from Alex’s) and they were sent to find Bailey.
“Maybe it’s professional jealousy,” Izzie was saying. “And she’s really a very nice person.”
“Don’t bother sucking up,” Meredith said, “she already hates us. That’s not gonna change.”
George eyed her, Izzie stubbornly firmed her jaw, and Cristina just watched.
Sure enough, when Izzie went to introduce herself, Bailey began her speech exactly as predicted.
“Don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you. That’s not gonna change.”
All three of her fellow interns began eyeing her after that.
“Oh, yeah. You’re definitely my kind of person,” Cristina said.