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“Someday we’ll have to have heirs,” Kili said one night and Fili froze.
They were to leave the next morning, heading toward where they would meet their uncle to follow him on a quest for their home, or at least the home of Thorin’s heart that neither of them had ever seen. As such, neither of them could seem to fall asleep and they lay in the darkness tangled up together and enjoying the feel of a bed for possibly the last time in a long while.
“Yes,” Fili finally managed past the dryness of his throat. “Someday.”
Kili tilted his face up to look at Fili, eyes glittering in the dark and Fili reminded himself to take another breath, drawing it in deep and feeling his brother against his chest. Fili knew, had thought about it many times, that they would someday have to continue their line. They were Thorin’s heirs, as he never settled down or found a bride, or at the very least, produced a child. Which was all well and good for Thorin but they did not have a sister to rely on to produce nephews for them.
Thus, it would be natural as the heirs of Durin for them to have children—preferably both of them and the thought made Fili’s stomach twist up.
But even though Fili had brooded about it in the dark of the night in the past, often with his nose buried in Kili’s hair, he hadn’t ever really thought about the idea passing through Kili’s mind, who acted so much more carefree, sure that he would never inherit any throne. If anyone was going to sit on the throne not Thorin, it would be Fili because Kili honestly could not truly imagine his brother dying before him and leaving him alone with the responsibility.
“Or at least you would,” Kili murmured and Fili took a deep breath, his grip tightening slightly.
“This is a dire subject for our last night home,” he murmured and Kili pushed away enough to look down at him, dark hair falling around his face and Fili reached up to tangle his hands there.
“Children should not be a dire subject,” Kili murmured, sounding like he was trying to convince himself.
Hands curling around Kili’s hair, Fili let out a huff of breath. “No, in these troubled times the idea should warm the heart. And yet—”
“And yet?” Kili pressed when Fili didn’t continue, tilting his head into the touch of Fili’s fingers, shifting now so he was straddling Fili’s hips. Letting out a strangled breath, Fili shook his head.
“And yet I cannot imagine the thought of sharing you with anyone, let alone to have a child, but the very idea of a wife to share you with…” he trailed off again, shifting his shoulders as Kili leaned down to rest his hands on either side of Fili’s head. “I’m a dwarf, Kili, you could not ask it of me.”
“Possessive, jealous, over bearing,” Kili teased, resting their noses together and it got a laugh from Fili as he intended it to.
“And more,” Fili said, one hand moving to trace down Kili’s shoulder.
Kili paused, still hovering above him. “Have you thought about it before?” he asked and he must have known the answer, Fili thought, considering how often Kili had interrupted his brooding about what it meant to be the heir of Thorin and teased Fili about worrying so much about responsibility.
“Of course,” Fili murmured. “I wasn’t aware you had.”
Kili let out a long breath, shifting again in the darkness and Fili’s hands snapped to his hips. “With this quest,” he murmured. “It got me thinking about what it would be like to be an actual prince, to have an actual kingdom instead of just somewhere we have a life. The idea of who might be watching us and—” He paused, rolling his hips were Fili was holding him and smiled when Fili sucked in a harsh breath. “You said you couldn’t bear the idea of me with someone else?” he said and tried not to smile when Fili growled.
“No,” he managed, unsure if his hands were trying to hold Kili’s hips still or pull them closer.
“But you’d be the heir,” Kili said and his face inched closer until all Fili could see were his eyes in the dark. “And you’d have to continue that line. How do you think I could live with watching that?”
Fili blinked once and suddenly surged upward, pushing Kili over and rolling until he was on top, pinning his brother’s wrists down on either side of his head and he slammed their mouths together. Whimpering, Kili let his mouth open as he squirmed slightly, Fili plundering his mouth.
“I’m as jealous as you are,” Kili said when Fili finally drew back, kissing the line of Kili’s jaw and moving down to his collarbone.
“We have an entire quest to get through first,” Fili murmured and Kili brought his leg up to knee Fili’s stomach lightly, no real force behind the movement though Fili let out a harsh breath.
“But it matters,” Kili said. “It might not, that’s true, we have no kingdom yet and who knows what will happen but Fili—”
“We do what we must,” Fili said and it sounded pained but he bit at Kili’s shoulder, hoping to distract him and only succeeding in making him gasp before continuing.
“Must you always pay so much attention to responsibility?” he growled and Fili laughed, burying his nose in Kili’s shoulder as his chest shook.
Drawing back he pushed down on where he still held Kili’s wrists and licked back into his mouth. “You mean like how you never pay attention to what you should do?”
“I pay attention,” Kili pouted but his voice came out strained. “I know what’s expected of me, that doesn’t always mean I do it.” He took a shuddering breath, arching his back off the bed to try and get closer to Fili who still held him down.
Relenting slightly, Fili pressed back down to meet his brother, wondering if he could set a rhythm that would shut the younger up. For a few minutes it seemed to work, the only sound from Kili faint panting as he squirmed up and Fili caught him.
“I can’t share you,” Kili managed, leaning up to bite Fili’s ear, wringing a moan from him as Fili released Kili’s wrists. Instantly, Kili’s hands shot up to tangle and pull at Fili’s hair. “I couldn’t share you with anyone, kingdom and heirs and lines be damned.”
“We can’t damn them,” Fili managed weakly, hands pulling at Kili’s hips. “But no matter what happens, I’ll be yours.”
“Mine,” Kili repeated, teeth barred in the dim light and it sent a shiver down Fili’s spine. “You’re mine over kingdom and treasure.”
Fili gave up trying to form any other sentence or thought, dropping his head against Kili’s neck.
Later, when he finally collapsed again and Kili pulled and pushed him until they lay entangled so that Fili wasn’t entirely sure which limbs were Kili’s and which were his, he let out a tired breath. “Yours,” he murmured, nuzzling against Kili’s ear and the other gave a small shiver that Fili could feel through his hands on his spine. “If you’re mine.”
“Always yours,” Kili murmured, sleep slurring his voice and Fili smiled as he let his brother drift off, lazily combing the fingers of one hand through the dark hair before following.