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It's been more than a year since Noé and Vanitas met. Up till now, their journey had been filled with joys, sorrows and dangers. Together they laughed, cried, argued and met many new people with their own unique stories. They had a lot of differences and there were times they almost parted ways,but despite all that, Noé decided that he wanted to follow this man to the very end.
Noé's feelings for Vanitas weren't clear in the beginning. Admiration, anger, confusion, compassion and so much more were patched together into Noé's heart. His love for Vanitas, was an unshakable emotion that he couldn't understand at first. However, as time passed by, he came to acknowledge his feelings and wanted to open up to Vanitas about them.
He was hesitant, at first, since he knew Vanitas didn't like to talk about these things. However, he also had this feeling that if he didn't tell him, he would regret it someday and thus he tried to reach out to him even if he knew that his confession might anger him.
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It was a late autumn night. Noé found Vanitas on the rooftop of the hotel Chouchou, staring at the houses from above.
"Vanitas" he called while walking slowly towards him.Vanitas turned and looked at him for a few seconds then went back at gazing the city.
"There is something I wanted to talk to you about..."
"Come on... Just say it then" he answered lazily.
"Well... I just wanted you to know that your company means a lot to me" Noé said hesitantly. "I always found you fascinating and... you know how I am, I can get excited with every small thing and ever since I came to Paris, from Averoigne, I've been enthralled by the big city and its wonders but... even so... I think your presence made my days a lot more beautiful and... I wanted to thank you for that" Noé paused without being really satisfied with his words.
"Is that all ?" Vanitas questioned while giving him a side eye. To him, Noe seemed to be too serious for a rather simple matter.
"No... It's not only that..." Noé struggled to express himself. He looked at Vanitas who continued to gaze at the city absent mindetly. Noe smiled softly, watching him, when he found his words again.
"Do you know what love is ?"he asked.
"That again ? I swear you can ponder over the stupidest things sometimes" he sighed, looking irritated .
"Well...because of you I've known what love is for a while now...thank you Vanitas !"
For a moment, Vanitas eyes widened. He didn't look angry as Noé expected, instead his face was a mixture of surprise and disbelief. He kinda looked like someone who had just been fooled by the person they trusted the most. It was only for a split second but his look was engraved in Noé's heart forever, making him ache.
"Nice try !" he ended up laughing" You really know how to be funny when you want too"
"I wasn't... joking" Noé said disappointed.
"Come sit down here !" Vanitas grabbed his arm and pulled him down beside him, interlocking their arms. Both of them remained quiet for a little while. It was Noé, who broke up the silence first.
"You are... not angry with me ? "he asked with pure confusion.
"You are free to do as you please, say what you think, feel what you feel" Vanitas awnsered carelessly "Haven't I told you already ? I have stopped trying to make you do what i want".
It was then, when Noé realized that Vanitas behaviour towards him, had changed ever since they parted with Michael that day. Slowly but gradually, Vanitas became a lot more tolerant with him. They still argued, but somehow Vanitas seemed to be less bossy compared to when they first met.
"You'll still might have to kill me someday " Vanitas added coldly and their eyes locked " It can't be anyone else... I don't want it to be anyone else..."his voice was serious, though, there was a tinge of desperation coming from deep within.
Noé was silent. He seemed to be lost in Vanitas eyes.
"Don't look so sad !" Vanitas said "I won't die Noé ! Even if I am no longer here" he spoke in a consoling tone.
What is with his behaviour ? He looks so relaxed with this conversation, as if it doesn't concern either of us and at the same time, he speaks so confidently about the future as if he has foreseen some inevitable ending. Noé almost thought that it would be better if Vanitas just got angry with his confession and left . This strange behaviour made him feel more worried than comforted .
"How is that possible ?" he tried to remain calm.
"Nothing is truly gone as long as someone remembers it soo... just don't forget about us, about our adventures...You said that you find me fascinating, that I made your days better... It should be easy for you to remember our time together."
Noé wanted to protest but he kept quiet . It was a rare sight watching Vanitas like this and he didn't want to spoil the moment. Perhaps, he also thought that he would save Vanitas in the end, no matter what the other believed.
"You said that now you know what love is buut... do you also know what salvation is ?"
Ah, the question I asked him back in the Bal Masque , when he killed that girl... Why would he bring this up ? Noé thought to himself.
"What is salvation... i still don't know"
"Once you do... will you show it to me ?"Vanitas asked with a smile though his voice sounded a little melancholic.
Noé took a deep breath. In the end, he was the one who was starting to get angry. In spite of everything, he was sure of one thing. Vanitas trusted him with his life or even... his potential death and Noe didn't want to let him down.
"Yes" he finally replied in a low voice.
"Good" Vanitas smiled and turned his head to face the city once more.
Noé wasn't sure wether Vanitas understood his feelings or not. He somehow felt that he had acknowledged but also ignored them.
The two of them stayed silent as they admired the view.
The night sky with it's few stars, the rooftops of the houses, the almost empty streets, the chilly breeze, the feeling of Vanita's arm intertwined with his...
Noe could never forget that night...