Chapter Text
Kyle scanned the carnage down the barrel of his submachine gun, waiting. There--one of the bodies in the corner twitched, glowing red eyes cracking open, and Kyle unloaded a magazine into it without hesitation. It slumped against a splintered table, finally dead, white smoke pouring from the bullet holes. Vampires were pretty hard to kill, but this gun was special. It was his birthright.
The plaster dusting his hair and the blood tacky under his boots? Yeah, also his birthright. Vampires were pretty hard to kill, but this was Kyle's family's business.
Well, he thought, reloading, for someone raised to do this he could have done better here. The convent didn't have much money as it was, and he'd let the place get a lot more smashed up than he could have. It's just... the vampires had seemed more desperate than usual. Starving lowbloods, perhaps, looking for an easy meal of nuns and the orphans they sheltered here. But lowbloods didn't usually hunt in gangs like this. Too selfish and stupid for that. And they'd fought like... like they'd been trained.
Suddenly, all the light in the room seemed to dim, and the hair on the back of Kyle's neck stood up. There was a highblood near.
Kyle span, bracing the uzi against his shoulder and levelling it at the interloper in the doorway with clinical precision.
Oh shit. Not just any highblood, either.
"What the hell are you doing here, you fat fuck!"
"Kyle," Cartman drawled, gliding easily around a smashed candelabra on the ground. "I'm hurt. Your first thought isn't that I might be invested in protecting these humans too?"
"No!" snapped Kyle. "You don't give a flying fuck about this convent, why would you. You'd be more likely to eat the people here yourself."
Cartman, as a highblood, was vampire 'royalty'. Their King was said to provide mandated substitute tablets, removing their need for human blood. Besides, a highblood could have anything they wanted at the snap of their fingers, so Cartman would have no apparent need to break into a convent like the starving lowbloods--but Kyle had never trusted Cartman. He was a slimy motherfucker. It was incredibly suspicious that he was here, especially since the lowbloods had already been acting weird.
Plus, it was plainly obvious that Cartman loved to indulge, judging from the way his extravagant silk jacket stretched tight over bulging lovehandles. The fucking asshole.
"You've known me your whole tiny life, Kyyyle. Have you ever known me to kill a human? That would go against my King's wishes, and you know how devout I am."
Kyle snorted, not relaxing his rigid stance by a millimetre. Sure, he'd known Cartman his whole life--generations of Kyle's family had been in tentative contact with the retinue of the Thorn King, oldest known pureblood and supposed human sympathiser, to improve human/vampire relations. No one in Kyle's family really trusted the King, though, let alone the members of his many tumultuous branch families. Mainly because:
"As if I can make you prove it! I have no choice but to just take your word on that!"
"Why wouldn't anyone take our word? As if we'd stoop to lying like a dirty fucking human. You meatsacks are scared of us because you assume we'd think like you do. Don't put us on your level. We highbloods are the pinnacle of existence."
"And why should I take your word on that, either! We will never trust you soulless assholes. Not until there's accountability, democracy... not until there's rules in place to stop you abusing your power."
A smirk crawled over Cartman's features. "Oh? And why should we care what you think? We're being very generous to tolerate you on the level we do. You should be grateful."
Kyle opened his mouth to snap something back, face flushing with anger, but Cartman interrupted.
"You're boring me to tears here. Do we have to do this every time? Let's just focus on the business at hand, 'kay?"
Kyle shut his mouth, vaguely embarrassed. He'd almost forgotten he was in a room of fucking corpses. That... really didn't happen often. Even when he was angry he was usually the picture of deadly professionalism.
"Whatever."
Cartman hummed, a gleam in his eye. He must have noticed Kyle's embarrassment. "I dunno, Kyle. Look what you did to this place. And now you're getting distracted. Maybe I shouldn't waste my time on such a shitty hunter."
"Fucking hell Cartman!! Would you just get to the point already!!"
"Okay, fine. Look, I know you noticed something off about this gig. You might be a shitty hunter but you're not dumb."
"Oh geez, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"You're welcome. Now, tell me. What did you notice?"
"Not all of us have centuries to waste our fucking time--"
"Kyle! Would you quit it!" Cartman screeched, finally losing his cool, too. "I am trying to help you out here!"
"Maybe I don't need your fucking help! I am perfectly--"
"You do. The things you just shot up? Not lowbloods, Kyle. They were ex-humans, and you are in a lot more trouble than you realise."
Kyle's breath left him like he'd been punched. Ex-humans? Oh god...
That meant that, unlike all other vampires, these had once been human. They'd been turned, most likely deliberately...
"Did you do this!" Kyle yelled, swinging his gun back up at Cartman. His stomach was roiling. He'd never killed a human before. Did they count as human? Close enough. Oh shit.
"Kyle, as magnificent as I am, I am not a pureblood, and only purebloods have the ability to turn people. You know that. Now stop freaking out and point that thing somewhere else."
Kyle dropped the sight slightly, still on edge. If these ex-humans had been turned, then perhaps the one who had turned them was around. Perhaps not, though. Cartman had incredibly heightened senses, could probably sense every creature for miles around, and he didn't seem to be wary.
"Then... do you know who did?"
"No. I was sent here to find out," said Cartman, moving over to a corpse, shells from Kyle's uzi tinkling as he walked. "Unfortunately, some dickweed went and shot them all up with a consecrated fucking machine gun. Just super, Kyle."
Kyle swallowed a retort. How was he meant to know. He'd never seen an ex-human before. Purebloods were rare, and purebloods that didn't kill the humans they took were even rarer. Not that these looked any different from the lowbloods he took care of regularly. All vampires looked practically the same when they were starving and desperate.
But, snapping at Cartman now would be a waste of time. They couldn't afford to get derailed again. Cartman might disappear again, if he got too bored, and Kyle realised he needed the intel.
"Hm. Well. How did you know these ex-humans would even be here?"
"It's family business, Kyle," said Cartman, tracing the throat of a dead ex-human with his finger. "Humans aren't sophisticated enough to understand the delicate matters at stake. We'll handle this ourselves. You can tell your elders so, and make sure they're grateful for what we are doing for you."
Kyle bristled. "If they are turning humans, then it's my family's business, too."
"Don't get involved, Kyle. Just... don't. Go back to the hunter's bastion and chill for a while. I don't know what their plans were, but some pureblood took the time to cultivate and prime this herd, and you killed them all. There's a good chance they will be looking for revenge."
"Why should I care," said Kyle. He knew deep down, but he wasn't willing to say anything to Cartman that sounded like he knew vampires were stronger. Cartman would take it as Kyle conceding that vampires were superior.
Cartman turned, his eyes flashing red, and the room dropped a few degrees. "You've never met a pureblood, so I can forgive this as a display of the usual human ignorance. Trust me. You don't want to meet one. Maybe the benevolence of our lord the Thorn King has made you forget your species-deep fear of the ancient power of a pureblood."
Cartman stalked closer, shadows seeming to cling to his form. "I would never suggest that my Lord is mistaken in His choices. But I do think... if you are not going to be grateful for our protection, then at least be very fucking afraid."
In a blink Cartman had disappeared. Kyle swore, suddenly feeling very alone.