Chapter Text
“I hope you can accept this!”
Jennie looked down at the girl bowing beside her, arms stretched straight in front of her with her fingers gripping a yellow envelope.
After turning off the sink tap and carefully shaking droplets of water off her hands, Jennie turned to fully face her. The girl was still in the exact same position, her blonde hair falling over her eyes as she continued to stare down at her feet.
“Hold on,” Jennie murmured, grabbing tissue to dry her hands completely before touching the paper envelope. “What is it?”
“It’s, w-well…” the girl stuttered, the hands holding the envelope shaking. “I just hope you can read it.”
Jennie reached out to receive the letter, smiling gently when the girl’s grip on it was too tight to take it off her hands.
“Sorry,” the girl whispered, rubbing her now empty palms against her skirt.
As she examined the envelope, Jennie couldn’t really decipher it. “You wrote it?”
“Yes,” the girl nodded. “For you.”
“I figured. What does it say?”
“I just wanted to… express my feelings.”
“Feelings?” Jennie repeated surprised. “As your senior, or…?”
From the looks of it, it could have been a letter of admiration. Jennie received those too.
But from the way the girl shook her head with flushed cheeks, she knew it wasn’t the case this time. How curious. It was the first time someone confessed to her in the school bathrooms.
“Oh. I see.”
“I don’t expect you to reciprocate them or anything!” the girl hastily clarified. “I just… wanted you to have it. Really. I know you’re not… well, you’d never… but I wanted to tell you before it was too late.”
Oh, poor thing. She didn’t know the truth about Jennie, that was for sure. And even then, she had the heart to confess to her.
“Okay. I’ll read it.”
The girl’s lips parted in shock, and her eyes grew twice the size if that was even possible. The spark of joy reflected in them definitely made it worth it in Jennie’s mind.
Jennie smiled at her, relishing at the thrilled grin she received in return. The girl started to step back, almost tripping over her feet and making Jennie stifle a laugh.
“That’s great. Wonderful.” She bowed shortly, turning to head out. “I’ll see you around. Good luck with everything, Jennie.”
“Wait,” Jennie called out softly. “Your name?”
“Oh.” The girl paused with a hand on the door handle. “It’s Lisa.”
For being a day where the sun shone brightly in the sky, the average temperature was lower than expected. Jennie waited on the building’s rooftop terrace, but Lisa’s home was obstructing the sunlight from illuminating the place, leaving Jennie in the shade. It was slightly ironic.
In a hurry, Lisa had given her the keys to her apartment, imploring her to wait for what Jennie hoped would be an explanation. Jennie didn’t want to go in. The ring holding the keys together was adorning her index as she twirled them around it out of boredom.
She sat with her legs crossed on the big cement block that Lisa used as a seating area. Although she was still unsettled by the new information from that morning, Jennie felt weirdly at peace now that she had the time to calm herself down. Her eyes followed the stray cat that Lisa had unofficially given shelter to, who sometimes strolled around the terrace. And somehow, just looking at him reminded her of Lisa. Because Lisa cared for this cat so much, even when it wasn’t hers. And although that affection wasn’t always reciprocated by the grumpy animal, he always returned. Perhaps, Lisa had that same effect with everyone.
It didn’t take long for Lisa to appear. Jennie had not been counting the minutes, but she had a feeling that Lisa requested an earlier break from her manager to follow her so quickly.
Jennie heard her before she saw her. Heavy but rushed footsteps resounded from the staircase leading to Lisa’s terrace, which paused briefly from when Lisa presumably saw her outside. Jennie turned her head slightly, making Lisa freeze on the spot instantly. The girl tried her best to keep eye contact, but she was also visibly nervous.
“Come sit down,” Jennie said calmly.
Lisa brought her hand to the back of her neck and rubbed it anxiously, following Jennie’s suggestion and taking a seat next to her.
It was painfully quiet for a few moments. Jennie didn’t feel like speaking up and Lisa was dying with tension.
Clearing her throat, Lisa finally dared to ask, “Are you mad at me?”
“Should I be?”
“Well, I thought you were.”
Jennie leaned back on her hands and sighed. “I wasn’t having a go at you. I just made a statement. You confessed to me.”
“Yes. Eight years ago.”
“Has it really been that long?”
Lisa nodded. “I used to be a year below yours. I think I was seventeen at the time.”
“Is that why I couldn’t remember you?”
“Probably,” Lisa shrugged. “It was also the only time I’ve ever really spoken to you in high school.”
“But you remembered it.”
“I did,” Lisa confirmed.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Lisa didn’t respond.
“Did rejection scar you so badly?” Jennie eventually added humorously. From Lisa’s shy smile, it seemed to have helped ease the awkwardness.
“It’s not that,” she said tentatively. “It’s what happened after.”
Jennie furrowed her eyebrows as she stared at Lisa with clear confusion. What happened after?
“I never saw you again after that.”
“Yeah. I didn’t see you either. No one did, to be precise.”
Although still unsure about Lisa’s answer, Jennie’s memories eventually started to clear up. Sometime after the confession, Jennie was forced to finish her last school year remotely, before she moved out of the country for the next few years.
Disappearing had been the best choice according to her parents. The logic was fairly simple: the less people saw her, the less they’d talk about her. At the time, Jennie just wanted to speed up the painful process of being forgotten, so she personally chose where she wanted to study abroad.
But her sudden absence must have been noticeable, especially to those who watched her every move at school. And considering recent discoveries, Lisa was seemingly one of them.
“Oh,” Jennie nodded to herself. “I remember. But… you didn’t have anything to do with it.”
Lisa scoffed. “Are you kidding?”
Jennie was taken aback by the sudden outburst. Lisa had never sounded so… frustrated.
“Not at all,” Jennie shook her head perplexed. She sat up and finally turned to face the other girl. “Moving to France had nothing to do with what you did. I left because of—”
“—because of all the rumours,” Lisa finished off. “And whose fault was that?”
“Not yours. How were you supposed to know that someone was listening?”
While Jennie might not remember Lisa’s love confession, the butterfly effect it created made its permanent mark in Jennie’s life.
High school created weird dynamics. Jennie knew she had been well-known among other students considering the influence her father had. But with popularity, envy soon followed. Instead of admiring her, certain people looked forward to her downfall. And when the opportunity presented itself to do some damage, someone gladly seized it.
It all started with accepting a girl’s love letter.
Jennie didn’t think much of it when it happened. She had valued Lisa’s courage and felt it deserved to be recognised. It wasn’t like she returned the feelings of anyone that confessed to her, so taking Lisa’s letter wasn’t any different than if she had been a guy. Her carelessness probably contributed to her poor memory of who had given it.
And yet, when an inconspicuous witness listened to their exchange, it suddenly turned into the scoop of the year. Jennie didn’t check that the toilet stalls were empty, and Lisa confessed her feelings believing they were alone. The chance of someone eavesdropping didn’t even cross their minds.
But it only took a day to realise that their small private moment had been twisted in something much deeper.
After all, people loved to gossip far more than they liked fact-checking. Apart from Jennie herself and whoever was listening, Lisa was the only other person to truly know what happened—that being, nothing at all.
Lisa removed her work cap and ran a hand through her hair. “I confessed to you knowing that you were straight. No one cared about me though, I was nobody. But you—you had the whole school at your feet, and yet people started talking shit because of me. Don’t you get that?”
“But I wasn’t.”
“What?”
“I wasn’t straight. That’s the whole point.”
It was what made the situation more complex than it had to be. Jennie had lost track of all the ridiculous accusations that started to go around, ranging from a heated makeout session to a long-term secret relationship.
But while the speculations of what happened in that bathroom were all lies, the claims of Jennie Kim being interested in girls were a brutal reality check. Her parents’ overreaction reminded her of the person she would never be allowed to be, the life of pretence in which she willingly trapped herself in.
And yet, that realisation was exactly what had led her to give up the fight as soon as she met Sana.
“That doesn’t matter! Do you know how crazy it was to hear people badmouth you just because you didn’t brutally reject me? All you ever did was accept a letter I begged you to take. If I had kept my mouth shut, no one would have forced you to leave.”
“My parents wanted me to leave, Lisa,” Jennie stated firmly. “I didn’t give a fuck about what other people assumed about me, my parents did. And they paid the price for it.”
Lisa kept shaking her head unconvinced. She stared down at her fidgety hands, her lips pressed together to hide her frown. Jennie didn’t really know what else to say.
It was a weird turn of events. Jennie believed that she was at a disadvantage for not remembering anything about Lisa from that time, other than the fact that she confessed her feelings. However, it seemed that Lisa also had no clue about what Jennie went through after everything happened.
The undeniable truth remained that without Lisa’s confession, Jennie would probably be a very different person. That single moment changed the trajectory of her life, and by a strange twist of fate, Lisa crossed her path once more.
“Did you recognise me immediately?”
“Huh?”
“That first night… when I walked in all pissed off and stuff. Did you know who I was right away?”
“Ah, that.” As much as Lisa tried to keep it hidden, Jennie still noticed the fond look in her eyes. “Not immediately, no. I just thought you were a bitchy customer, that’s all.”
“Hey!”
With a slight push to her arm, Lisa finally let out a little laugh.
“I did think you looked familiar, but I only realised when I sat down and spoke to you. And then when you asked for my name… I was worried that by telling you, you’d also figure out who I was.”
“I clearly didn’t,” Jennie smiled in comprehension. “You still haven’t answered my question, though. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Well, I didn’t really think we were going to meet again. I thought that if it was just one time, I wouldn’t have to ever mention it. But then, you kept coming back, and I didn’t want you to stop just because you resented me for what I did,” Lisa said quietly, as if it was something shameful to admit. “I know it’s selfish, but I didn’t want to risk losing what we have right now by bringing up the past.”
Considering everything, Jennie couldn’t help her increasing heart rate. Lisa had never been very vocal about how she felt, but Jennie loved hearing that she liked what they had—to the point where she was genuinely scared of losing her.
“Listen, I can’t resent you when you’ve done nothing wrong.”
Seeing that Lisa was ready to argue, Jennie promptly placed two fingers on Lisa’s lips to shush her. The touch was very gentle, and if they were in any other situation, Jennie would have blushed at how soft Lisa’s lips were.
“I get it. I wish you would have told me sooner, but I understand why you didn’t. That’s all the clarification I need.”
Lisa still didn’t look very happy about the dismissal of her (unreasonable) fault, but Jennie didn’t allow her protest.
“I don’t care about anyone or anything from high school. I just care about us, right now. Okay?”
Lisa nodded.
“Right. Then, we’re fine.” Jennie pulled her hand back and held up her pinky finger. “As long as you promise me there’s nothing more you’re hiding.”
Now that she was free to respond, Lisa was at a loss of words. She glanced at Jennie’s hand, and then back up into her eyes, trying to find any trace of a hidden grudge. Jennie was certain she found none.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been wanting to say that for a long time.” Jennie pursed her lips at the unnecessary apology, but Lisa quickly linked their pinky fingers together. “There. I promise this is everything.”
“We’re good now?”
“Yes.”
As soon as she saw Lisa’s sincere smile, Jennie pulled her by the pinky and wrapped her arms around the other girl. Just like the first time they hugged, Lisa hesitated from the initial shock, but returned the hug a lot quicker this time.
----
It would have been very easy to forget about the discovery of Lisa’s confession and leave it as it was. They had talked it out. They were fine.
But Jennie didn’t like it.
While Lisa recalled everything that happened, Jennie couldn’t even remember Lisa’s face from back then. It was incredibly frustrating. She knew that Lisa would never go into details about her confession, and there was only one way to put her mind at rest.
Jennie
I’m at the door
14:32
Oh, she had gone completely insane. If Chaeyoung was there to hear her plans, she’d probably get an earful. Jennie didn’t really have an explanation either, she just happened to be curious and extremely stubborn.
Staring down at her screen, Jennie waited for the read receipt to appear, nervously tapping her fingers on the back of the device.
Out of all the places in Seoul, she ended up in the area that made her the most uncomfortable.
It was fair to say that it was a wealthy neighbourhood, filled with green grass and tall apartment buildings with high security. Jennie was certain that she would have been stopped and questioned at the front desk if she had been anyone else.
The sound of a few door locks coming undone made Jennie glance back up, unconsciously holding her breath as she waited for the door to open.
Then, with a bored look that gave away nothing, her helper appeared.
“Hi, Ella.”
The only part of her old life that Jennie had missed dearly was her little sister. She resembled her a lot, from the eyes to the neat brown hair falling down her shoulders. People often said that they had the exact same ability of gaining everyone’s attention, although Jennie always thought she intimidated people while Ella was universally liked.
But more than anything, Ella held grudges just as hard as Jennie did.
With a sigh and a roll of eyes, Ella pushed the door open and walked back inside. Jennie had to hold her arm out to stop the door from shutting in her face.
With a tight-pressed smile, Jennie walked into the house she had left years before. “Well, good to see you as well.”
The house had not changed much. It had the same dull lighting and the depressing pale coloured walls, but there were a couple of noticeable differences. For instance, all of Jennie’s childhood photos were removed. Jennie also acknowledged that the table where she had spent numerous evenings studying on had been moved elsewhere, having lost its purpose. It immediately reminded her of the childhood she wasted living up to her parents’ expectations. The place had never felt like home, truthfully.
Ella plopped herself down on the big living room sofa, scrolling on her phone and ignoring Jennie like she had never walked inside.
“How are you?”
It wasn’t the first time they were seeing each other after Jennie returned from Europe, but it had been a while since they last met. With her increasingly busy life, Jennie didn’t get many chances to make contact, and Ella wasn’t exactly the type to initiate.
Jennie still tried. As much as Ella loved to shut down her attempts, Jennie still saw her as family. The only one she recognised as such.
“You know where your room is.”
Clearly, the effort was still very much one-sided.
“Right… I’ll leave you, then.”
Ella didn’t look back once as Jennie walked up the stairs.
Her room had always been in a weird spot of the house. The master bedroom, the bathroom, and her dad’s home office were all very visible, while Jennie’s bedroom was located at the end of an L-shaped corridor. Jennie supposed that her parents were relieved that it was out of sight.
When Ella told her (over a short text) that her parents had not thrown her belongings away, Jennie had been rather surprised. Although as she entered her bedroom, she noted that they were now all inside cardboard boxes neatly stacked on the sides of the room. Her bed didn’t have any pillows or bedsheets, but her mattress was covered by a thick plastic cover to keep it intact from dust and whatnot. Her old desk was also completely empty and in a similar state. Given the lack of dust and spiderwebs, Jennie assumed that the cleaner was still allowed to enter.
Luckily for her, the cardboard boxes all had labels with some sort of indication of what they contained. These included her stuffed toys and dolls, her wardrobe contents, and other belongings she had left behind when she moved out.
Jennie didn’t really intend on leaving a clear trace of her visit, so she truly hoped that the SCHOOL box would be the only one she had to touch.
Upon opening it, Jennie was greeted with a stack of textbooks. Some were in mint condition, others pretty worn from excessive use. In the middle of the stack, Jennie noticed a few thinner booklets, which she recognised as her old school’s monthly magazines (well, if eight pages of random content counted as a magazine).
The booklets were mostly produced by the journalism club, reporting anything they deemed relevant news concerning the school. Jennie had never been interested, but she kept the few issues in which she had been included. As she checked them, she eventually found the one where she was featured in the cover page. At the time, it boosted her ego a little.
Looking at an 18-year-old Jennie felt surreal. In the photo, she was sitting at a desk with her hand under her chin, looking ahead with a picture-perfect smile. The classroom was blurred but Jennie vaguely remembered sitting behind Nayeon, which explained the genuine smile.
Back then, Jennie used to force smiles every day and deal with people she didn’t really want to be around, and so seeing her real happy self was extremely rare. It was the main reason she was so fond of that cover.
Right as she placed the magazine back on the stack, her eyes were drawn to the corner that her thumb had been covering seconds prior.
‘Photo taken by Lalisa Manoban’.
“You got to be kidding,” Jennie mumbled under her breath, grabbing the booklet and opening it with urgency. She flicked through the pages until she found the credits section, scanning through the names of every student in the journalism club.
And then, under Photography, she saw that name yet again. There were three people credited, and Lisa happened to be the first name on the list.
Jennie didn’t really know any of the people in the journalism group, so it didn’t surprise her that she didn’t recall Lisa being a photographer there. But as she glanced at the covers of the other magazines, she spotted a different name being credited. Out of the magazines she had kept, Lisa’s name was only on Jennie’s cover.
And although she already found out about Lisa’s high school crush on her, Jennie still felt herself blushing.
Getting that old booklet had not been in her plans, but Jennie opted to keep it aside. Moving on from the textbook pile, she skimmed through stationery and notebooks, eventually landing her eyes on her target.
Lisa had not been the only person to confess to her with a letter. At the time, Jennie was popular enough to receive quite a few heartfelt letters, particularly during Valentine's Day and her birthday. Jennie usually felt awful for never reciprocating the feelings, but she always kept the letters as they were specifically written for her. She also had other notes and messages from friends that were exchanged at the end of every school year, but those were in a smaller quantity.
As she spotted the red metal container, she immediately took it out with a small sigh of relief. Jennie was mindful of time, knowing that she had to get out before anyone saw her. Ella mentioned that her parents wouldn’t be home until the late evening, so she still had a few hours.
Opening the lid with more effort than she remembered, she grabbed the bulky stack of envelopes and inspected them one by one.
Finding Lisa’s letter was easy.
Unlike the usual white, pink, or other pastel-coloured envelopes, Lisa’s one was bright yellow. Jennie’s name was written neatly at the front, right next to an adorable duckling sticker with an L on its chest. The back of the envelope also had a sticker—a single sunflower.
Gosh, she was so cute. Jennie couldn’t help but imagine a very young Lisa spending a whole night decorating her love letter.
The envelope seal was still intact, making Jennie’s eyes narrow slightly. She didn’t really read all letters, but the fact that she didn’t even open Lisa’s one was quite sad. It was likely due to the mess she found herself in right after that confession, but Jennie had hoped that Lisa’s words would have been received well by her younger self.
After safely taking Lisa’s letter out, Jennie carefully put everything back in the box the way she found it. There was a slight chance for the cleaner to notice some differences, but Jennie was sure her parents wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
She placed the letter and the magazine in her tote bag and returned downstairs, where Ella remained in the exact same position. Jennie stood by the end of the stairwell and watched her quietly.
“I’m gonna go now.”
Jennie wasn’t really expecting an answer, but Ella snorted and started laughing very dryly. “That’s what you do best.”
The words were muttered with sarcasms, but Jennie felt like she had been slapped. “Ella—”
“You said you were leaving,” Ella interrupted harshly. It was the only time she had looked her in the eyes. “Then, leave.”
“Can we talk?”
“Leave.”
“You can’t keep acting like this. Talk to me.” Jennie insisted. “I just want to—”
“Leave.”
A continuous back and forth. It was frustrating and tiresome on Jennie’s part, but Ella’s stance was difficult to budge. In her sister’s eyes, Jennie was nothing but a selfish bitch that left her family behind.
Against Ella’s wishes, Jennie didn’t leave. Being under the same roof was an opportunity she hadn’t had in ages. It would be foolish not to make the most of it.
Stepping into the living room, Jennie made her way to the sofa. On the other side of the room, the curved-screen television was still on and showing a sports channel, but the volume was incredibly low. Her attention briefly stayed on the screen, watching a familiar racing sport.
“What,” Ella grumbled, finally glancing up from her phone.
Jennie offered a small smile. A what was still progress from leave. “You watch Formula One races?”
Ella scoffed. “No.”
Leaning on the back of the sofa with her arms crossed, Jennie took a closer look at her little sister’s annoyed scowl. “My ex used to watch it. Every race Sunday, he would sit in front of the TV for hours without any awareness of the rest of the world.”
“I don’t care.”
And yet, the clear aimless tapping on the phone made Jennie believe otherwise. Ella might be spiteful, but she still cared. Jennie had always known that, even though Ella would never admit it.
“I saw the pictures on your Instagram,” Jennie commented after her sister opened the app. “You seem to be very close to this one… guy. Is he your boyfriend?”
If discussing their personal lives piqued her sister’s interest, Jennie had no reason to hold back.
Ella gave her the most dramatic eye roll yet. “None of your business.”
“It is absolutely my business.”
“Don’t you have your own boyfriend to worry about?”
“I just told you,” Jennie smirked at the exasperated tone. “He’s my ex now. We used to live together, though. Not that it matters now, but his name was Yoo Taeyang, we were together for three years. I think you might have hated him if you had met him properly.”
“I know who he is,” Ella mumbled. “And why do you think that?”
Jennie smiled unconsciously. Her sister refused to follow her back on social media, but Jennie was fully aware of the insta-stalking she constantly carried out. Ella was lucky she never mentioned the accidental likes she caught.
“Well, you hated every boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
“That’s because they were dickheads.”
“Ella!” The small upturn of Ella’s lips made Jennie grin. “Introduce me to your boyfriend, then.”
“Why would I do that?”
“So I can call him a dickhead.”
Ella turned entirely onto her side, with her back now facing Jennie. It would have served its purpose if Jennie had not already seen the suppressed smile.
“Have you eaten yet?”
“Lunch,” Ella replied flatly.
“Lunch?” Jennie repeated. “It’s almost dinner time. What are you craving?”
Ella went quiet. Jennie tried to peek at her sister’s face, but Ella locked her phone and sighed.
“Why do you even ask? It’s not like you’re gonna stay to eat with mum and dad.”
Jennie walked around until she was right next to the sofa’s armrest, leaning her side on it. “Well, I’m not here for them. I only care about you, Ella. Immensely so. You know that.”
When no response followed, Jennie gently placed her hand on top of her sister’s head, moving a few locks of hair from her forehead with her fingers.
The you left me argument wasn’t going to work anymore, Ella was aware of that. Jennie had tried to reach out to her sister multiple times, and Ella’s grudge had been the only obstacle in the way. She had tried calls and messages, which her sister loved to ignore. Jennie had also offered to pick up Ella after school initially, but the family driver had made that rather impossible.
And while Ella acted like she hated her, Jennie knew she loved her just as much. The fact that she had helped her pick up her things that day without questioning was proof of that, petty whining aside.
“Will you let me take you out to dinner? Or shopping? Anything. I’ll spoil you like you’ve never been spoiled before.”
Ella finally sat up with a sigh and a defeated smile, but still a smile nonetheless. “Mum and dad will kill me if they find out. You know that, right?”
----
Jennie was certain that she was sporting the goofiest smile ever. She really couldn’t help it.
Ella had not been picky about where to eat, but she really wanted pasta for dinner, and Jennie wanted to give Ella anything she wished for. That included the chocolate cake she craved for dessert.
“People are gonna think you’re weird,” Ella mumbled, although she couldn’t hide the amused upturn of her lips.
“Do you really think I care?”
Ella shrugged, picking up another bite of the cake with her fork. “I suppose not. You’d still be living at home if you did.”
“And I’d be miserable,” Jennie laughed lightly.
“Was it that bad for you?”
“You can’t imagine how much,” Jennie sighed. Ella had never questioned the reason Jennie left; she just used it as an excuse for getting mad. Considering that she was willing to talk about it, Jennie didn’t see why she should avoid the topic. “You know what made me leave, right?”
“I do.”
“Then, you also know that they had nothing against you. Just me. That’s why I had to go.”
Ella pressed her lips together in a thin line. “You were always the favourite child, Jennie.”
“Ella.”
“No, hear me out.” Ella put down her fork. “I always thought mum and dad would love you regardless. When you left, they started showering me with praises and love like they used to do with you. It made me think you were wrong for leaving, because I could never hate our parents like that.”
“That was one of the issues,” Jennie said. “It wasn’t all positive.”
“I realised that.”
“What do you mean?”
“They only love us when we’re flawless. I’m not an academic prodigy, and that ruined me. And liking girls ruined you.” Jennie raised an eyebrow, and Ella quickly added, “not for me. I never hated you for that. I could never. Well…”
Jennie noticed Ella averting her eyes and rubbing her palms on her thighs. She could see the nervous habits from miles away.
“Well?”
“I used to hate what you did. Not liking girls, just… telling our parents. I used to think we would still be fine if you said nothing.”
“Do you still think that?”
Ella quickly shook her head. “I don’t think it would have changed a thing. Dad still believes you’re straight, you know? He pretends not to care, but he saw pictures of you and that model boyfriend. He said you just wanted to make a scene. And mum, well, mum just goes along with everything dad thinks.”
Dating men didn’t make her straight. Jennie knew her parents would never understand that. Even if she had married Taeyang, she would still not be the flawless girl they wanted.
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Jennie brushed off the comment. “As I said, I only care about you now.”
Ella quietly finished off the rest of her cake. Jennie could tell by the way she paused every now and then that she was prolonging their stay. She waited calmly as Ella placed her dessert plate on top of their other dishes, wiping her lips with a tissue afterwards.
“Do you wanna go for a walk? There’s a shopping centre nearby. It should close pretty late today.”
Ella simply nodded.
As they left the restaurant, Ella didn’t protest when Jennie linked their arms together and led the way.
----
Jennie was not kidding when she said that she wanted to spoil Ella like never before. Although Ella did not particularly seem in need of anything, Jennie constantly paid close attention to the items that appeared to get her interest. From clothes to shoes to accessories, Jennie kept offering to buy anything that Ella set her eyes on.
“There must be at least one thing you want, right?”
“Nothing at all.”
Jennie rolled her eyes as she followed the younger girl past the various shops in the shopping centre. They had only entered a few, and never came out with purchases. Ella seemed far more keen on window shopping.
“There’s always something,” Jennie insisted.
Ella was not really listening, too immersed in judging random options on the display windows. Or at least, that was what Jennie had assumed initially. Upon closer inspection, she finally noticed that her sister’s eyes were always drawn to a specific shop.
“Do you need a new phone?”
“What?” Ella spun around so quickly that Jennie had to hold her shoulder to ensure she wouldn’t lose balance. “No? My phone’s fine.”
Ella’s cheeks turned deep pink, immediately looking at anywhere but the fancy-looking tech shop opposite them. Jennie couldn’t help but grin as she took a closer look through the windows, spotting one of the two employees inside.
“Oh, I know that boy.”
“No, you don’t.”
“He was in your photos!”
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
Both of Ella’s arms came around her as she tried to drag her away from that shop, but Jennie’s feet stayed glued on the ground, a knowing look in her eyes. Her and Ella were similar in denying crushes too.
“I never said anything about a boyfriend,” she replied as her arms came around Ella’s shoulder, somehow ending in an awkward hug in the middle of the mall. She turned their bodies until Ella’s back was to the tech shop while Jennie had a clear view of the guy.
“You thought about it,” Ella mumbled, not pulling away from the hug.
“You want him to be.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Don’t lie to your sister.”
Even though she couldn’t see her, Jennie knew Ella rolled her eyes at the persistence. “It’s not even worth it.”
“It is if you want it to be.”
“High school crushes never last. What’s the point?”
And just like that, Lisa was back in Jennie’s thoughts. It was getting out of hand; Jennie could think about the other girl every hour of the day without being able to stop. Lisa had a crush on her in high school too. And perhaps it wouldn’t have worked out, just like Ella said. Jennie would never know.
“We should go in.”
Ella was quick to shake her head and push Jennie the opposite direction, but Jennie easily freed herself from her sister’s grasp and walked towards the shop’s entrance. With all the resisting, Jennie thought Ella would have hesitated a little more before following her.
The mystery boy was called Soobin, Jennie found out as she casually approached him under the pretence of seeking tech support. He was rather tall with neat hair swept to the side, dressed in a blue polo shirt and dark trousers. His height was nowhere near intimidating considering the adorable smile he flashed as soon as Ella walked in.
Ella kept her cool really well. She appeared to be completely unfazed by the encounter, a great contrast to how exasperated she had sounded a few moments prior. Soobin was shy and sometimes stumbled over his words in a rush to get them out, but Jennie could clearly see he was utterly smitten by Ella.
Missing out on most of her sister’s teenage years meant that Jennie never got to tease her about crushes or help her out in her first relationships. The fact that Ella was now almost eighteen did not mean she stopped needing a little push, though.
Jennie spent the next half hour or so gathering pointless tech advice and promotional talk from Soobin, not really knowing how else to make their stop last longer. Ella was next to her, smoothly slipping in some casual talk every now and then.
At first, Jennie assumed she was going to ignore everything the boy said. But eventually, he enthusiastically introduced their digital cameras selection, thus gaining Jennie’s full attention.
“I’m not an expert, but would you say any of these are good for an experienced photographer?” she enquired. “Say, someone who intends to do it as more than just a… hobby.”
Ella shot her a curious look at the question, but for once, Jennie had her ears open for whatever rehearsed speech Soobin had prepared. The boy must have noticed her genuine interest, leading her to a display shelf with a bunch of cameras that Jennie could only assume were the real deal. He described most of the brands in detail, occasionally going into highly technical features but following through with simple wording as soon as he saw Jennie confused.
Then, when Jennie questioned which one was better, he picked two cameras and offered to show how pictures taken on each looked. Jennie couldn’t hide her smirk when he asked if Ella was okay with getting photographed (hurriedly adding that he was going to delete them as soon as Jennie saw them, with his ears turning red). Ella posed like a professional and Soobin shyly complimented her, although he quickly returned to Jennie to show the results.
Ella looked extremely pretty in both.
“We have the Leica available for purchase in-store,” he said after offering his top choices. “The Canon should be restocked within the next two weeks. We can have it delivered to you as soon as it arrives if that’s the one you prefer?”
Jennie didn’t really think much. There was not anything to think about, really. She was not an expert; she didn’t know a thing about what made a decent camera other than looking pretty in pictures. All that she could focus on was Lisa. And the defeated look in her eyes when she mentioned her photography. And her kind smile and the warm hold of her hand.
“I’ll take both.”
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