Chapter Text
I'm always afraid. All my life I've been a coward. Afraid of the world. Afraid of people. I couldn't go anywhere without somebody by my side. I was so afraid of being hurt. I thought something would happen to me. Anything could happen when I step outside. Anything could even happen in my own house. I could take a wrong step while chopping vegetables and end up stabbing myself in the eye as I fell. I don't want to be hurt. I'm so afraid of pain and death. So afraid I didn't realize that others could be hurt as well.
"Your dreams can't hurt you." The woman set her clipboard down from her knee to the table next to the chair she was sitting in. "Sometimes reality and dreams can be mixed, the lines blurring when our minds are fragile."
"So.. you're saying.. "
"Your dreams aren't real." She replied.
"How am I getting hurt, then?" I asked, avoiding her eyes.
She took some time to think of the right words to say, as if the truth would be devastating to me and she was trying to lay it down as gently as possible. She clasped her hands together and set them on her crossed knees, leaning forward towards me. "As you might know, pain that is left untreated can weld up inside us. With an excessive amount of that pressure, some people feel the need to balance out this emotional pain with physical pain."
I connected her words together quickly and I didn't like what she was accusing me of, "What? No! I would never—"
"It's okay, Aliza. You don't need to be ashamed of it. It's something we can fix." She interrupted.
"No! I'm not doing this to myself!" I felt the need to defend myself, "You're not listening to me. They're not cuts, they're scratches. There's five- there in, like, groups, see?" I pulled up my sleeve to show her the claw marks on my lower arm.
My therapist's eyes darted down for a moment but went back up to meet mine. She sighed, as if she knew something I didn't. "I see that you're hurting, and you don't need to cover it up with a tale about a ghost man. There are many different ways to cope with death—"
"Don't." I said, stopping her in her tracks. I rolled my sleeve back down, embarrassed that I even bothered showing her. The worst part is that I almost believed for a moment that I did this to myself, but I can't let her change my memory like that.
"Okay, I'm sorry." My therapist leaned back onto her chair, "You're not ready to talk about it yet, I understand. Some people need more time than others."
"I'll never talk about it." I said under my breath. My face was still hot from embarrassment and I was becoming more and more defensive.
"That's okay. Would you like to talk about your dream some more?" She asked, "Maybe elaborating on the details can relieve the fear of this monster and help you see that it's just your imagination. You do have a wonderful imagination and a very creative mind."
"There's nothing really to talk about." I said, playing with the string that hung down from my hoodie. "It's just a shadow thing that chases me and then.. kills me at the end. Every time."
"I know." She said, "Do you think that maybe this dream is causing you to hurt yourself in your sleep?"
I didn't want to argue anymore or try to prove to her that I wasn't doing it to myself. I just wanted to please her and move on from this topic, "Maybe." I said quietly.
"Maybe you're making up an elaborate story about a shadow man coming to you at night and hurting you to cope with the fact that you're hurting yourself." The therapist went on.
I looked up for a moment to see her face as she was talking, but then I saw him. He was almost not even there, just a trick of the light, but I saw him. He definitely wasn't there before. I could vaguely see the silhouette of a man standing right behind the woman sitting in the chair. She was still talking, and she had no idea he was there. I couldn't see the man's eyes, or even read his face, but I knew his intentions were bad. A transparent, shaking hand slid out and onto my therapist's shoulder.
She must have been talking when I interrupted, but I wasn't listening. I shut my eyes closed and covered my face with my hands, sinking back onto the couch, "Stop it, stop. Don't." I whispered.
I didn't want him around. I didn't want to look at him. I felt like if I just closed my eyes then he would disappear like a bad dream.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. We won't talk about that." My therapist said.
She wasn't aware of the danger lurking behind her. She couldn't see him. Only I could. Only I could ever see him.
"We will continue this next week. Does that sound good?" She asked me.
I was afraid to open my eyes. I was afraid he would be standing closer to me. I was afraid he would do something to her. He wanted me to watch him. He wanted me to open my eyes so I could watch as he—.
"Aliza?"
I felt a hand reach out and touch me, and I immediately thought it was him. I jumped back and my eyes snapped open to see that it was just my therapist.
"Next week? Okay?"
My eyes dared to scroll behind her, afraid of what I might see but relieved to see nothing. It was just the chair. The shadow man had vanished. I looked at my therapist and nodded my head. To that, she patted my shoulder and opened the door to let me out.
I was shaken, but I knew I needed to leave. I didn't want to make a fool of myself any further. I grabbed my little backpack laying on the floor and threw it over my shoulder. I didn't look back at where he had been standing as I walked out the door. My therapist was silent and smiling as she closed the door behind me.
I heard her groan behind the door as I made my way down the hallway. She must have thought I couldn't hear her. She mumbled, "How embarrassing..," under her breath.
I tried to ignore it, but it stuck in my mind. The things she said; did she really mean them or was I just a paycheck to her? I know she doesn't like me. She's been dealing with my problems for months now, and she must hate me. I know she hates me. She has to babysit a delusional freak who can't deal with pain like a normal person.
I woke up in a chilling sweat, gasping for air like I had been drowning in my blanket and my whole body felt like a thousand fire ants had crawled all over. I tore my shirt off in a panic and looked at myself in the mirror. Red streaks adorned my entire back and burned with every touch. I didn't understand why this was happening to me. It was the worst it had ever been. It was like he was punishing me for trying to help myself. He wanted to see me suffer. I tried getting sleep medication to cause sleep paralysis so I couldn't hurt myself. I thought I was doing it to myself, and this is what I get for doubting. My whole body was covered in scratches. A splitting pain shocked my inner thigh as I adjusted myself on my bed. Red seeped through my gray pajama pants, so I gently took them off to see the damage. A deep intrusion lay on my thigh, but this wasn't a scratch. It was circular and almost looked like teeth marks.
He's.. biting me now?
I brushed my fingers over the marks but it hurt so bad I ended up flinching away. A bite mark could only mean two things in my mind. Neither of them were good and I didn't prefer one over the other. Either this is a phantom creature like a demon who wants to eat me, or I'm being sexually assaulted. The second one seemed more likely, and it made me shiver. If this creature wanted to eat me like the monster in my dreams, it would have probably done so already. I've never heard of any demon playing with their prey for this long. I don't know what it wants from me.
I grabbed some gauze in the little med kit I had under my coffee table. I didn't have anything else so I strapped that to my leg with some medical tape. It was a poor job, but I was never trained in medical care. I needed to seek help from someone who did. I had to go to the doctor but I knew they were going to ask me what happened. It would just cause trouble that I didn't need. It's why I never liked going to therapy. I didn't want to put my problems onto other people. I would rather solve them myself than ask for help, and if I couldn't solve it, then I would just have to suffer. I hated myself for that, but there was nothing I could do besides try to break from my independent cycle and ask for help.
"They're going to heal, but you're going to have scars all over your body, especially where the deeper intrusions are." My doctor said, "If you had come earlier I might have been able to stop the scarring."
I almost cursed under my tight jaw.
"You never explained to me how this happened." He said, "If I have an insight on how you got these wounds then maybe I could help prevent them or treat them in the future."
"I.." I didn't know what to tell him, I had been dreading this moment, "..don't know."
He gave me a concerned stare, "That's not the answer I'm looking for, Miss Symphony." The doctor said.
"I know, I just..." I fumbled with my answer, "..I woke up like this. Like something attacked me in my sleep."
"Not something, someone." The doctor said, and he measured the bite mark with his fingers to show me, "Based on the width of the bite and the shape of the teeth, this was definitely a person. A person with weirdly long canines, but a person nonetheless."
"So.. a vampire?" I asked. I was being serious but he took it as a joke.
He chuckled, "No, of course not. Vampires are fictional." He grabbed a clipboard and started writing things on it, "If you haven't already, I would highly recommend getting a security system built into your place though, and report whoever is doing this to you to the police."
Yeah right. The police won't do anything about this. I would tell them that I've been seeing a ghost and they would throw me in a mental hospital or say I'm just seeking attention. That's not the answer this doctor wants though, so I just said, "Okay, I will."
I wasn't going to go to the police about it, but the camera idea was doable. The only ones I could find that fit my budget were really cheap and they looked flimsy like they were just toy cameras. What other choice did I have? I wasn't going to spend a fortune on a chance to catch evidence of a ghost.
"Cameras?" Said a familiar voice. Even though I knew who it was, he still snuck up on me without even realizing it.
I jumped, the ladder underneath me wobbled and my friend reached out to stabilize it.
"I am so sorry." Damien said as I looked down at him. He smiled at me, "You've been really jumpy lately. You doing alright?"
"Yeah, I've just.." I hesitated on telling him or not, "..got some problems going on."
"Yeah, the cameras kinda gave that away." Damien said lightheartedly but ducked down to a more serious tone when he saw how serious I was, "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Um.." I looked down at the ground, there was my screwdriver down there and I couldn't reach it without climbing off my ladder, "Can you hand my that screwdriver down there. I guess it fell down."
Damien walked over and handed it to me, "Here you go." He said.
"Thanks." I said as I grabbed it from him.
Damien started to remind me about security cameras and how they would put them all around his mayor's office, but I only half listened to him because I was focused on installing my camera. I had to stretch up super high in order to reach the top screw. Going up on my toes, I lost my balance for a moment and the ladder tipped over from under me. My feet lost their platform, and I fell to the side. My heart was racing, my body was falling so fast. I tried to grab onto anything but I couldn't reach. Just as I thought I was going to hit the ground, something softened my fall.
Damien had caught me, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck for support. I opened my eyes and looked directly at his.
"You okay?" He asked.
I was too embarrassed to speak at first, "I-I.. y-yeah.. I'm fine." We both looked at each other for a moment, until Damien's eyes found their way over to my neck. His expression changed, it hardened.
"What's on your..?" Damien trailed off as he stared.
I realized the scarf I had put on earlier to cover the scratches on my neck had fallen down when he caught me. I let myself down from his arms and stepped back a little. I pulled my scarf back up, "I-it's nothing, really. Just an accident."
He stepped closer to me and gently pulled my scarf back down, he examined my bandaged neck that had a little red seeping through, "How...did this happen?" He said quietly, not taking his eyes off my wound.
I didn't want him to worry about me. He can't know.
I noticed the whites of his eyes turned darker, and his irises had a reddish gleam to them. I shook my head, it must just be a trick of the light. I'm seeing things.
"N-nothing really." I said, I pulled away from him. "Y-you know what? I think I'll set my cameras up later. I'll see you tomorrow, Damien."
Damien was about to say something to me but I quickly walked away and into my house. I pressed myself against the door and slid until I was sitting down. I curled the scarf around my neck before throwing it to the side. I didn't want to wear it. I didn't want to have scratches all over me. I didn't like keeping secrets from my best friend. He's more than a friend to me. I share everything with him. It hurt to keep this from him, but I didn't want him to worry. I didn't want him to be upset with me and think I'm doing it to myself like everyone else thinks. Damien doesn't need to know about the shadow man. It's things like that that ruin friendships.
The night was slowly creeping up on me when I was finishing the cameras. I just had to make sure everything worked and was connected correctly before going inside. The darkness edged towards me as the sun set, and I rushed inside before it could get me. I felt childish, as always, but I turned on all the lights in my house just to make myself feel better. I didn't used to be afraid of the dark, but it now stalked me every chance it got.
I have to sleep with a nightlight, or else my imagination runs wild and I start seeing horrifying faces in the dark. I start getting claustrophobic, thinking the darkness is somehow making the room smaller. I don't want to have another panic attack. I know the dark can't hurt me. It's what could be lurking. The shadow man could be there, waiting and unseen. I couldn't risk it.
I had to force myself to take a shower before going to bed and change all of my bandages. I knew I wouldn't want to do it in the morning before I go to work early, so I had to do it at night. I would regret it if I didn't. I just had to remind myself that taking a shower is nice and can be relaxing. That is, until steaming hot water falls all over my open wounds. I quickly drew back and stepped out to avoid screaming in pain. The water was too hot, I thought, so I tried to turn it down but that also hurt. Whatever the temperature, anything touching my body is going to hurt. I try to ignore it most of the time when my bandages or clothes rub against the scratches, but the water is so much worse.
As I tried to get back in, I heard what almost sounded like a male voice giggling. I froze, and listened carefully. When all I heard was the water running, I drew back the curtain to see if anything was there in the room. I looked around skeptically, but the only thing I noticed was that the door was cracked open. I could have sworn I closed and locked it. I always do that, even though I live alone; it's always been a habit of mine.
A voice that almost felt foreign was scolding me in my head. There's nothing there. You're hearing things. Don't be so paranoid. I listened to the voice. What else could I do? There was no one there.
When I went to sleep that night I had the same dream I always have, except this time there was a voice. The shadow monster said something to me before it killed me. It was a demonic, maniacal voice that told me something that echoed in my head even after waking up, "You're mine."
I opened my eyes, gasping for air like I had been suffocating in my sleep. I tore the blankets off of me, I was burning up. It was cold outside and my heater was set to low, but for some reason I was sweating with heat. I took off my shirt and looked at myself. Some of my bandages look like they had been ripped off and I had new marks.
"Damn it.." I whispered to myself as I examined the bite mark on my shoulder. It wasn't as deep as the last one, but it still stung when I touched it.
He's punishing me again for trying to help myself. He doesn't want me to be bandaged up. He wants me to be bare and vulnerable. He wants me in pain. What did I ever do to him? I haven't done anything to anyone.
I got myself some new bandages and grabbed the footage from the camera in my bedroom so I could watch it. I plugged it into my laptop and pressed play. I had to skip through a lot of it, since it was just hours and hours of me sleeping.
Towards the end of the footage the camera was all fuzzy, more than usual and the time of exactly where I would have started to have the dream was ruined with glitches. I couldn't see anything. I was so frustrated, but I kept watching it in hope to see at least something.
"Dammit.. These stupid cheap cameras.." I said to myself.
I was trying to find something, anything in the ruined footage, but it was impossible to make out any shapes. Just glitching. I was about to turn it off and give up when I heard a garbled voice, "You're mine."
I paused, my heart felt like it stopped beating for a moment. I was frozen. It was the exact voice that was in my dream. The exact voice that giggled when I was in the shower. I went back and played it again, this time I paused it right after the voice finished speaking. There, in that exact frame, I could actually see. There was the shadow man. He was above me as I slept. He was looking at the camera. The image was still blurry, but, unlike before, I could somewhat make out his features. He looks just looked like a normal man. When I looked at his eyes, however, they were different. They were unnatural, and just the sight of them through a blurry picture instilled a small fear into my chest.
I sat back in my chair, trying to process this image. There is someone doing this to me, but the front door alarm wasn't tripped. The window alarms were untouched. His eyes. Every time I saw him standing under a shadow in the corner of my vision, I never saw his eyes. He was always just a gray smudge on my camera lens. He never really looked like he was there but I knew he was. This time I can see him. It was almost like he was somehow growing stronger and was able to finally be whole.
I had considered the possibility of being haunted by a ghost, but even that I was having trouble with. Why a ghost? What does he want from me?
The next few days were rough for me. I was fighting with myself, trying to decide whether or not to go to the police with this. I have nothing but a blurry picture of a man in my bedroom. It's not much. Maybe not enough for them to start investigating. I would feel bad for wasting their time, so I decided not to go to the police with it.
While driving to work, I almost went off the road. I looked in my rear view mirror to see how far away the car behind me was, and I saw him. The man who I keep seeing in the corner of my eye, the man who was in my bedroom. I saw his eyes. I saw him like he was just sitting in the back seat. It was only a split second I saw him before I screamed and accidentally swerved. A car honked at me as I got too close to it. I managed to straighten myself out on the road, and when I looked back at my seats he wasn't there. I know what I saw. There was definitely someone there, and he had the same eyes as before.
If I tell anyone this they'll think I'm insane. There can't have been someone in my back seat. That's impossible. I always check my back seat before I go in. I can't tell anyone this. Maybe it'll pass. Maybe if it is a ghost he'll see how boring my life is and leave. I just have to let it pass so everything can go back to normal.
The more I feared him, the more prominent he made himself. With each dreadful glance it seemed like he was becoming less of a ghost and more of an actual person who was just stalking me. It still didn't seem real to me. It couldn't be.
I was at the coffee house I worked at when it happened. I was making a coffee, pulling espresso shots when I heard him. It sounded like he was right next to me, whispering in my ear, but I would look and there would be no one. The room was empty. It was the same voice in my dream. The same voice in the video. The voice followed me. It tormented me wherever I went.
"I'm still here."
I turned my head to the side and saw nothing. I couldn't act weird. I couldn't show that I was paranoid and couldn't act like someone was pressing their lips to my ears. I acted like nothing happened and gave the customer their drink. I can't stay. I don't want to be embarrassed if this keeps happening. I didn't want to face my manager with this. I didn't have an excuse to go home, and I was panicking. I had to leave.
I heard him again as I was walking to my car.
"I'm not going anywhere"
I put my hands over my ears but it didn't help. He was somehow in my head, an echo in my brain like my own thoughts.
"Did you think you could just wait me out?"
I got into my car and turned it on. I couldn't believe what was happening. I covered my ears again, I said, "Stop it! You're not real!"
"You think I'm not real?" The voice said. When he spoke he was so deep in my head that I could hear nothing but him. I couldn't even hear my own thoughts, "I can assure you, I am very real."
"Shut up, shut up, shut up..." I said quietly over and over again.
"Would you like to see?" The voice asked.
I was able to drive home without him saying anything more. I rushed inside, threw my backpack on the couch and leaned over my counter. I didn't know what to do. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to comprehend what was happening. Nothing was different about me. It was still me; same blueish purple eyes, same hair, and same face. Somehow in the chaos I found some sort of comfort knowing that my appearance hadn't changed in any way except for the bandages. I took off my scarf and looked at my heavily bandaged neck and shoulders. I sighed. Why is this happening to me? Why me?
I looked up at my face again, and saw briefly a dark figure behind me. I immediately turned around, expecting there to be nothing there, but I was wrong. He was actually there.
My heart started racing and I backed up against the mirror. He tilted his head and smiled at me. His eyes were pitch black, so black that they looked like holes. They were empty pools that somehow were staring at me.
I was too stunned to speak at first. He was actually real. A real person standing at the opposite end of the room. He walked out of the darker part of the room and slowly began advancing on me, still smiling like a maniac.
"S-stay away from me!" I said, holding out my hands as sort of a warning.
He ignored my pleas and continued walking towards me slowly.
"Wh-who are you?!" I tried asking but I got nothing but silence from him, "Wh-what d-do you want from me?"
My hands were shaking and my heart was beating too fast. He was right in front of me, and despite my kitchen being perfectly lit he still seemed like he was blanketed in a thin shadow.
I looked up at him as he got as close as he could get without touching me. I had no idea what to do. My legs were frozen and my mind couldn't think of any ways to escape. I just stood there pressing myself against the wall.
He continued to stare into my eyes, "You're so afraid of me."
His tone wasn't kind or concerned, it was more sinister like he was mocking me.
"Wh..what..?" I could think of nothing else to say.
He reached his hand up and lightly touched the bandage on my neck. My head instinctively leaned away from his touch.
"No one will believe you." He said.
"No one...will... believe me..?" I repeated slowly.
"Yes. That's the fun part," the ghostly man said. He suddenly grabbed my throat with one hand and covered my mouth with the other. I felt my feet leave the ground as he slid me up the wall, "I can do whatever I want to you, and no one can do a fucking thing to stop me!!" He started laughing maniacally.
I kicked my legs at him in an attempt to release me, but his body was resistant to any blows I would land. He was somehow inhumanly solid.
He brought me closer to his face, completely ignoring my attempt to kick him, "Isn't this just a lovely situation you find yourself in? You have no idea who I am. You have no idea what I can do, no idea what I want."
I shook my head, and my pleas were muffled under his fingers, "No. no, please."
"So clueless to what awaits you." The ghost said to me.
I managed to break free for a moment, "HELP! Somebody help me please!" I cried out for help and struggled to get away, but he caught me as I tried to squirm away. I was slammed against the wall again.
He gave me the most bloodthirsty, crazy smile. "Scream all you like." The white dots appeared again in his eyes as he squeezed my neck. I had no choice but to look into them. "No one can save you from me." His dark words were followed by an outburst of maniacal cackling, laughing at my attempt to escape.
There was a hard knock at my door, and my attention suddenly averted to that. I heard a male voice from the other side who I immediately recognized as Damien, "Aliza! What's going on in there!?"
I looked back to where the ghost man used to be, but there was nothing. I still felt a tight grip on my throat but then it stopped. I gasped for air and looked around confused. I wanted to know what happened but I also wanted to get away from him.
Damien called to me again, "Aliza?! I'm coming in!"
I ran to the door and opened it.
Damien seemed pleasantly surprised when I wrapped my arms around him. I was so scared, tears were coming down and I had no idea what to do. He hugged me back. I didn't really know what I was doing, I was just happy that he somehow made that scary man go away.
"Hey, what's wrong? What happened in there?" Damien asked.
I just looked at him, crying. I didn't know what I wanted but I knew I couldn't go back to my house, "I-I can't.."
Damien was confused, but he cared enough to help, "You can't what?"
"I can't go back in there.." I said. I shoved my face into his chest. "I can't.."
"It's ok. Shhh." He gently stroked my head, "Come on, let's go."
"Go where?" I asked below tears.
"My place, we can talk there, okay?." Damien said, followed by a smile that was nice. It was safe compared to the smile I had gotten a few moments ago.
I dreaded that other smile. That maniac.. that thing, it had sharp teeth with a smile that bent unnaturally far up. "Anywhere but in there.." I gestured to my house.
"Ok, let's go."
Damien let me get comfortable at his house. He told me that I could sleep in a spare bedroom he had upstairs. I had slept over at his house before, and been to it many times. Damien was trying to talk to me the whole time and trying to comfort me, but I was out of it. I was trying to process what happened in my kitchen, but it didn't make any sense to me. My reality was being shattered.
"Hey, you ok?" Damien asked me. He squatted down next to me as I sat on his low couch.
I must have been making a concerning face in order for him to say that to me. I looked at him with a fake smile, "Yeah. I'm.. I'm ok. Why would you think otherwise?"
"Well, you just ran out of your house like you saw a ghost and started crying." Damien said.
I was scared he was going to judge me for that, but he didn't seem like he was. He genuinely seemed like he was worried and wanted to help.
"Yeah, I guess that was a little weird.." I said with a dry chuckle.
Damien put a hand on the other couch and sat down, "Hey. I've seen weirder." Damien said, "I'm just worried. What happened in there? Are you going to tell me what's been going on?"
Damien is my best friend, but even with that I still don't want to tell him. If anything, that should give me reason not to tell him. I don't want my friend to think I'm crazy and then not be my friend anymore.
"I just...I got.." I stumbled but I couldn't think of an excuse, "I can't.."
Damien turned away.
Damien sighed, as if not completely satisfied with my answer, but he was willing to accept it, "I'm sorry this is happening to you.. whatever it is." He said, "and you can um... Stay here as long as you like."
"Thanks, Damien." I said.
Damien's smart watch beeped and he put his hand over it to silence it. He sighed again, "Ok. I have to run into town. Are you going to be okay by yourself?"
I nodded.
"Okay, good." Damien got up and headed for the door, throwing on his jacket and slipping some shoes on, "Call me if you need anything, ok?"
I wrapped a blanket around myself tighter, "Okay." I said.
Damien grabbed his keys hanging on the door and stepped outside. Before he closed the door behind himself, a small gust of cold air came in and gave me chills. I pulled my feet up onto the couch and leaned back. It was a very comfy couch and the blanket Damien gave me was very soft. I appreciate him and his hospitality. He's a good friend.
For some reason my attention went over to a dark door frame. The door to that room was open and the light was off. I stared at it for some reason, and once again I got chills. You're just going to freak yourself out. Stop it. Look at something better. I looked at the small table sitting right next to the couch. A flower vase full of dried flowers and an empty coffee mug sat there. That's better, but I wonder why Damien keeps dried flowers in the vase still. I always wondered that when I came over here. I just always forgot to ask him.
My attention was averted when I heard a door suddenly slam closed. I almost jumped at the noise and immediately looked over to the front door. The first thing I expected was for Damien to have walked through the door again. I figured maybe I just hadn't heard him walk in because I was distracted with the flowers. Maybe he had forgotten something?
Damien wasn't there.
Confused, I scanned around the room and saw nothing different. Did I imagine that? It seemed pretty loud. There's no way I just imagined the sound of a whole door being slammed. Maybe I'm tired. Am I really that tired? I figured that it was just my ears playing tricks on me and the best thing for me to do would be to take a quick nap. I rested my head on the couch and tried my best to sleep, but my paranoia was keeping me awake.
I heard shuffling and immediately opened my eyes. Nobody was there. I must have been dreaming. I was completely disregarding all of the strange things that had happened to me before. I was ignoring the encounter I had with that strange ghost man. It couldn't have been real. I'm in Damien's house. It's safe here. My delusions can't follow me here.
I pulled the blanket over my head like a child and tried another attempt to fall asleep. This time I was able to relax a little bit more. I started thinking of calming things like the morning forest, sun shining through the trees, a little stream running through. The forest is warm, but not that warm. Actually..it's kind of cold. The forest is getting darker. The sun is hiding behind the mist. I don't know what's happening. A dark presence looms around me. The air is cold, thick with fear. There's somebody behind me but I'm too scared to move. I fall to my knees and I feel a hand grab my shoulder.
A dark whisper went into my ear, "Don't you want to know... my name..?"
"What..?" I stuttered.
"My ...name." The whisper said, "Tell... me.... your... name..."
"Aliza.." I said.
"Good..." The shadow looming over me grew, "Names are important. Would you... like to know.. mine..?"
I shook my head. Tingling needles were making their way into the back of my neck.
"I go by many... but you can call me.. Anti." The whisper said, "Someone gave me that one.."
I didn't know what to say, or what to even think. The whisper became more of a background noise as the pain in my spine grew. My body was trying to alert me of the danger behind me but I could do nothing to protect myself. I could do nothing but yell. I didn't want it anywhere near me, "Go away! Leave me alone!"
"Never..." the voice said, closer to my ear.
I felt someone's breath on my ear. My whole body was frozen. The hand on my shoulder squeezed tightly. I saw a hideous hand with red claws slowly come into my view. It retracted back and suddenly flew towards my face.
Somebody pulled the blanket off my face. I recoiled back in response and surprisingly I was just met with Damien's face. I was dreaming...
"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." Damien said, "I was just wondering what you were..doing."
I let my shoulders loosen, "It's fine. I'm just really jumpy."
"I know. Sorry again. I'll let you get back to sleep." Damien said.
I hadn't even realized that I fell asleep. Those thoughts I were having, was that just a dream? What kind of a dream was that? I haven't had a nightmare like that in a long time. I wonder if it means anything.
Damien offered to get some of my stuff from my house. I said I could go but he insisted. He said he would make it quick and then darted off to my house. He was just walking there, but I hadn't asked for many things. Hopefully he'll be back soon. I feel much safer with him in the house.
I decided to sit down at his table. I didn't want myself in a comfortable position to fall asleep. The last time I fell asleep I had a really weird dream. It felt strange, like a fever dream, but it also felt real. I feel like I need to be in a much more positive mindset before I fall asleep again.
"Now, what will get me in a positive mindset?" I said quietly to myself.
I could do something I like to do, but I don't do those things anymore. I don't ever do any of my hobbies, not since- Focus here. Positive. That train of thought will not be positive. I shook my head and brought out my phone. Maybe there's something here I could look at that will make me happy. I could watch funny videos? That could work. It'll help me get my mind off that dream.
I was lost in my phone when suddenly my chair turned to the side so that I was facing away from the table. "What the..?" I said to the air in front of me. I found myself unable to move from my chair, like my body wasn't letting me.
The air was still and silent. Did I just do that? No.. it turned on its own. That's not possible.
I felt a hand on my shoulder.
My heart started racing.
That can't be Damien. He just left. There's no way he would be able to come in silently and then get around me without me noticing. I took a glance at the hand. The fingers were a dark red fading from the tips and it had almost black claws. It was just like the one in my dream. I felt that dark pressure on my back. It was like a weight was slowly being pushed onto my shoulders and was crushing my whole body, but there was nothing there. My body was stiff and I couldn't move. Painfully stiff. It was like all of my muscles had tightened up and were going to start cramping up. I can't be dreaming again. There's no way I dozed off.
"He's gone." Said a way too familiar voice above me.
The man suddenly appeared in front of me; he was kneeling down, inspecting my abdomen area with his eyes. I wanted to jump up and back but my body wouldn't let me. I gasped as he seemingly teleported in front of me. This was the same ghostly man from earlier. He followed me here. This can't be real.
"Wh-who are you..? Please.. leave me alone." I said to him. He didn't even make eye contact with me as he spoke.
"Oh, I'm never leaving you, my little pawn." He said creepily, "You already know my name. I told you earlier."
My head throbbed with confusion as I thought back. I thought about the dream. Somebody told me their name in the dream.. That was him? I couldn't tell if that dream was real or if he was just in my dream. I was so confused.
"Anti..?" I asked, unsure if my answer would be correct.
"Ding! Ding! Ding!" Anti exclaimed, frightening me with his sudden loudness, "Very good, you remembered. Now, lift up your shirt, would you please?" He asked, mocking a kind tone with his demanding one.
This was taken to another level of fear, "What? Absolutely n—" my hands disobeyed my own brain and quickly pulled up my shirt. What? I didn't make them do that, did I? I fought against myself but couldn't get control over my own arms. It made me feel weak and helpless, "H-hey! S-stop it!" Despite him being a horrible, crazy demon-like entity, I still felt embarrassed that my bare stomach and the underside of my breast was just exposed to him. I should have worn something under this shirt. I felt my face heat up in embarrassment.
I saw Anti give me a small, sinister smirk, "Good. Now then.." I feel like he can probably sense what I'm feeling and I'm sure he likes it. This demon guy is making me feel sick.
To my surprise, Anti took a black marker from his pocket and began drawing a dotted line down my stomach. "What is that? What are you..?" I stopped when recognition of the specific mark he made answered my own question.
"Silly girl, I'm just marking off where I'm going to cut." Anti answered anyway.
I felt my face turn white as soon as he said it. For a second I knew what he was doing before he confirmed it, but as soon as he said it out loud it became horrifyingly real to me.
"Y..you.... you're... what?" I said.
He finally looked up and I got a hollow and tight feeling in my chest as his empty eyes stared at me, "I'm. Going. To." In the other hand was a giant kitchen knife, "Cut. You. Open." He got closer to me and stood up for each word he said. The cold blade touched my cheek as the maniac smiled at me.
"N-no.. you can't!" I said, unable to think of anything else. My body was working against me and I couldn't move.
Anti put the tip of the blade against the bottom of the line, where my belt was, "Sure I can. It's not that hard."
He pressed the tip of the knife down, enough to pierce my skin just a little. I moaned in pain, trying as hard as I could to move. I couldn't though, my body didn't belong to me at the moment. I had to just endure the pain, if he is going to go through with this. Maybe he isn't; maybe this is just another dream. Please let it be another dream.
"Please! Stop, stop! No, I don't want it!" I tried pleading again, since my mouth was the one of the only things I could control.
Anti lifted the knife back up and looked at me. He reached up and gently caressed my cheek, "That's the point. You're supposed to be afraid." He stood up quickly, leaning over me and putting his mouth next to my ear. He whispered, "Your fear, your pain, it's delicious."
His eyes lit up, showing two creepy dots in his dark sockets. My heart was beating so fast. I turned my head away from him, away from his.
He looked down again at my stomach, "You know, I think there is another way.." he said.
"Another way..?" I repeated.
"I don't want to kill you just yet. I'm having so much fun torturing you." He put his shadowy hand on my chest and slowly moved it downward, "But I do want to feel your insides."
I felt sick again by his statement. I need to leave. For a second I got back ahold of my body. He must have been distracted and his invisible grasp on me slipped. A second was all I needed. I jumped out of the chair and began running.
"Where do you think you're going?!" Anti laughed just loud, crazy laughs at me. He tilted his head at me and suddenly all of the muscles in my legs stiffened painfully. I tumbled to the ground and landed on my back. I gained feeling back in my legs but the fall was so bad that I didn't want to stand back up. I opened my eyes to see Anti standing directly above me.
A smile crawled across his lips, "That's a good look on you," he began lowering himself, "on the floor, helpless," I tried to get back up but in a flash of green light he was suddenly pinning me down to the floor, "and completely at my mercy."
I whimpered. I was so scared that I felt a tear go down the side of my face.
He lifted up my shirt, "Now then, where was I? Oh, yes."
Without warning Anti plunged his hand into my belly. It felt as if he had broken open my skin and was now feeling my organs, but I looked down to see that it wasn't the case. There was no blood, no hole. His hand was somehow phasing through me like a ghost or apparition; It didn't feel like it though. I screamed out in pain at first but then no more sound would come out.
Anti grabbed onto an organ inside me and squeezed it. I didn't know how he was doing this but at the time I didn't care. All I wanted was for him to pull his hand back out. He looked at me, "This feels like your kidney." He moved upwards and grabbed another, "..your stomach.."
For each organ he touched and squeezed, and ran his sharp nails against, it was a different pain. First it felt like my kidney was failing, a sharp kind of pain that stabbed into my abdomen. When he grabbed my stomach I almost threw up, even though there's nothing in there. I haven't eaten all day.
He grabbed my lungs, using both hands now to really hold onto them. The air felt thin as he suffocated me. I couldn't breathe very well, just shallow breaths as his claws restricted my air flow.
"Oh, interesting.." Anti said. He took his one hand back out and used it to hold my hands down above my head, "And what if I grab your heart?" He chuckled evilly, "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."
His hand went to the left side of my chest and his fingers gently closed around my heart. He wasn't squeezing, he was just feeling it. The pain was still there, but it didn't hurt as bad as the other ones.
"You know, I know someone who would love to have this." Anti said, "But he can't. It's all mine."
He took his hand out and stood up. An instant relief washed over me as the pain resided. I just laid there on the floor, breathing heavily and unable to get up.
"Don't worry about him though." Anti said. I closed my eyes, slowly slipping into unconsciousness. "The only one who gets to kill you is me."