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When Tsukasa found out he was eating with his family. His phone rang, and he rushed to pick up the call from Emu’s phone.
“Hello? Is this Tsukasa?” The voice -not Emu- asked warily.
“Eh? Yeah, that’s me? What’s up, where’s Emu?” He asked, and the breath of the voice on the other side hitched.
“I’m Emu’s Dad. Uhm.. She was found.. dead.. In her room this morning.” He whispered.
Saki watched the light sink from Tsukasa’s eyes.
“What’s the matter?” She asked hesitantly.
“Thanks.” He whispered, and hung up the phone.
Saki knew something was wrong when Tsukasa took his phone and quietly declared he was done with dinner and rushed up to his room. Saki heard his sobbing. They all did.
“..I’m gonna call Rui..” Saki said quietly, and did just that.
“Rui? Uhm.. I think Tsukasa needs you.” Saki said.
“...I- uh.. I just found out.. Uhm.. I- Do you..?” He seemed to be barely holding himself together.
“No. We were eating dinner, but he never told us what the call was about. I think.. I think I have an idea though..”
“It was Emu.” He whispered, his voice sounding choked.
“...” Saki sniffled.
“I’ll be right over.. Uh, with Nene too.” Rui mumbled, and with that he hung up the phone.
“What happened?” Saki’s mother asked.
“Uh.. Otori. She.. She’s dead..” Saki whispered.
“..Oh.”
When Rui arrived, he spared no time for formalities or small talk, and he and Nene rushed straight up to Tsukasa’s room. The door was opened, and Rui pulled Tsukasa into a tight hug. Nene walked over to Tsukasa's bed and flopped down, hugging a pillow in and letting out a small sob. Tsukasa broke too, sobbing into the crook of Rui’s neck. Carefully, Rui led him over to his bed, and they laid down beside Nene, Tsukasa on the side closest to the edge, and Nene along the wall, with Rui in the middle.
Rui quietly pulled Nene into the hug too, and the three sat and cried. Well, at least they were together.
(From here on the story will be pretty focused on Tsukasa.)
It had been four days. The service was today. Wonderlands x Showtime hadn’t done anything productive. Mostly just crying, together, alone. Crying. Rui was dressed nice, in a white button up and black jacket, black pants to match. Nene wore a pretty black dress, nothing too complex. Tsukasa himself was in similar attire to Rui, but instead of a jacket he had on a black suit vest. Tsukasa’s attention was brought back to Rui's voice.
“You ready?” Rui whispered, and Tsukasa just nodded.
It was going to be a long day.
The three walked into the church building, and so it began. The morning was still. Chatter hung low and soft, like a light mist. It was tense. It was so tense. Tsukasa let out a huff and reached for Rui’s hand. He took it gently, and the two looked at eachother.
Tsukasa found Nene’s hand in his own, and the three found a place to sit down. As the pastor arrived and started talking, Tsukasa found himself tuning it all out. He felt Nene slip her hand out of his and knew she had started crying. There was a smooth voice, Rui for sure, but Tsukasa just couldn’t focus enough to figure out what he was saying.
Tsukasa hadn’t even noticed the service was over until Rui asked him if he wanted to stay at his house for the night.
“Sure.” He mumbled, and Rui smiled sadly.
“We can drop by your house so you can pick up a bag.” Rui suggested, but Tsukasa shook his head.
“They’ll ask me how it went. I can just wear your clothes, it’s fine.” He said softly.
“..Okay then. That works.”
Nene had gone to get clothes from her place, and would be back in a little while. This left Tsukasa and Rui alone together for the first time in a while. It was kind of empty without Nene.
“Here, those must be uncomfortable. Uh, I have boxers too if you need some?” Rui offered, handing Tsukasa a sweater and some shorts.
“Thanks.” He said quietly, and went off to the bathroom to change.
When he came back from the bathroom Nene was back too. She was no longer in her dress, instead wearing a tee shirt and gray sweatpants. Tsukasa noticed the pink sweater too. It had been… her.. Favorite.
“Oh, hi.” Nene greeted with an annoyingly false smile. Why couldn’t everything go back to normal?
“Hi.” He mumbled absently, and plopped down beside Rui on the couch.
It was quiet for a little while.
“Wanna play a game? I brought my switch.” Nene offered, and Rui smiled a bit, though it didn’t reach his eyes.
“What a wonderful idea, Nene! Let’s!” He said his acting was almost so good that Tsukasa thought he was genuinely happy. Almost.
The three spent a good while playing mario kart, and though none of them were really able to indulge in it like normal, it was still nice.
“Ah, it’s late now- Haha, we should go to bed.” Rui said.
“Yeah, you’ve got a point. I’m sure Tsukasa isn’t used to staying up late like this either.” Nene agreed.
Nene took the couch, the same way she did everytime they stayed at Rui’s, while Tsukasa and Rui tangled together on Rui’s mattress. (Not quite a bed, as there was no frame..) Rui’s hand found itself in Tsukasa’s hair, and he couldn’t help but find comfort in the way Tsukasa melted against him at the touch. At least that hadn’t changed.
It felt like everything was changing recently. In the same way, it felt like nothing would ever stop changing, and that they’d be stuck in this cycle of grief and change forever. As he fell asleep, Rui wondered if Tsukasa would ever do theater again.
………….
The next morning, Tsukasa was not in Ruis arms. Nene wasn’t awake either, and when Rui checked the time, it was 5:00. What an early time for Tsukasa to be awake. Sure, he woke up earlier than Rui, but never this early. Rui couldn’t help but notice the strangely metallic scent in the air, and then a low whimper from the bathroom. Suddenly, Tsukasa being gone made a lot more sense.
Rui stood up in a panic, and knocked on the door -a bit more desperate than he had expected.
“Tsukasa?! Are you in there? I’m coming in!” Rui announced, and found himself finally thankful for the useless lock on the bathroom door.
“Wai-”
The smell of blood was much stronger here. A blade. Blood. His arms. Holly fuck, his arms. How could Rui let this happen? Rui choked back a gag, and spun around. He couldn’t look.
“Jesus fuck.. You.. Run the tub water.” Rui mumbled.
“..Alright.” And with that, the sound of water flowing was present.
“Okay, I’m gonna.. Actually.. Nevermind. I’m gonna look now.” Rui mumbled, tripping through his words.
“W-Wait.. If it’s gonna make you uncomfortable I can.. Uhm.. I can clean them myself..”
“No, no. I can- I’ve done this before. Just uh… There’s a lot of blood. I need you to wash some of it off- be gentle with yourself. Use a soft rag.. I’ll grab a microfiber towel.” Rui rambled, wondering if Tsukasa would ask how he’s done this before.
“...” Tsukasa said nothing, and Rui dug into the drawer and pulled out a towel.
Tsukasa took it wordlessly. A low wince as he must’ve wiped over one of the cuts or something.
“..First aid kit. Where's my first aid stuff?” Rui asked, wanting to be ready to disinfect and bandage. At least he could be a little bit useful.
“Under the sink.” He told himself, and then cringed when Tsukasa let out a wince of pain.
He opened the cabinet, and pulled out a red and white box of first aid stuff. He poked around for hydrogen peroxide, and was glad to find some.
“I’m uhm.. It’s mostly clean.” Tsukasa whispered, voice getting smaller.
“Okay, I’m gonna look now.” Rui declared, and turned around to face Tsukasa.
The bottom of the tub had some blood on it. Nothing Rui couldn’t handle. Tsukasa was quiet, holding the rag to one of his arms.
“...It’s uh, still bleeding..” He said quietly.
“Yeah. I’m gonna clean it with hydrogen peroxide, okay? This’ll make sure you don’t get infected.” Rui explained, rambling to distract himself as he carefully poured the peroxide onto another rag.
“Ready?” Rui asked, prompting a nod from Tsukasa.
Rui carefully cleaned the cuts, sighing with relief when he was done. Only one was deep enough to be dangerous, and Rui had been sure to pay special attention to it.
“Okay, I’m gonna bandage this now and then we can go back to bed- if you want?” Rui asked, grabbing the bandages from where they sat on the floor.
“..sounds nice.” Tsukasa said quietly as Rui wrapped his arms.
When they returned Nene was awake, playing on her switch with an angry look on her face.
“It smells. You alright?” Nene asked, not bothering to look at the two.
Tsukasa didn’t say anything, instead opting to tug on Rui’s sleeve.
“He’ll be alright.” Rui said softly, moving to stand behind Tsukasa and wrapping his arms around Tsukasa’s back.
Tsukasa leaned against him and sighed.
“Will I though?” He whispered.
“Hopefully.” Nene mumbled. “..’Cmon, let’s go back to bed.” Nene said, standing up and grabbing Tsukasa’s hand.
The other two followed Nene to Rui’s mattress, and she laid down. Rui shrugged and laid down too, Tsukasa following. The three shifted, leaving Tsukasa in the middle. Rui clung to Tsukasa, and Nene hugged him from behind.
“We’ll be okay. I promise.” Nene said softly.
When Rui woke up Nene wasn’t on the bed, once again sitting on the couch with her switch.
“Morning Nene.” He said softly, careful not to wake Tsukasa.
“Morning? It’s 11 o’clock.”
“Good after- Evening then.”
Nene didn’t say anything after that, and neither did Rui. A little while later Tsukasa awoke, and decided he should go home.
The next day Rui didn’t see him at school. Or the next. Not at phoenix wonderland. Not at home. He couldn’t have just gone missing? Rui tracked the news from then on. Figuring if he came up anywhere, it’d be there. Missing person posters. Talks with Saki. More watching the news. Police interviews. More missing person posters. More interviews. A manhunt. Rui was falling apart. Everything passed by in a blur from when Tsukasa went missing to when he was found.
“Missing person found! Tenma Tsukasa’s body-”
“No. No, no, no, no. T-tsukasa? Tsukasa-!”
Nene froze.
“No! No! He’s not gone- He didn’t leave us!” Rui screamed.
Everything from there was a blur. A lot of screaming, and crying, and arguing. How was Rui supposed to go on without his two rays of sunshine? How were either of them supposed to?
“...Nene?”
“Stop! Stop it! This isn't helping! I’m so sick of this! They’re gone, they’re both gone Rui! I’m sick of tiptoeing around the topic! Rui, you’re falling apart! Goddamn it, we might as well kill ourselves!” Rui stared at her. Nene couldn’t have really meant that, could she?
“..You’re right.” Rui whispered.
“Nene, if I took you to the cliff by the edge of the city, would you jump with me?” Rui asked.
Nene paused, staring at Rui with an unreadable expression on her face. It eventually faded into agreement, and Rui knew he had won.
“Of course.”
Now, with the two swinging their feet off the edge Nene seemed more hesitant.
“You sure you wanna do this? If you won’t, I won’t either.” Rui asked, staring at Nene with an honest expression on his face.
Nene nodded.
“You drove me all this way. Besides, this sunset is for us, isn’t it?” Nene asked, earning a small chuckle from Rui, though it was sad.
“You sure you wanna do this?” Nene asked, choosing not to comment on the tears running down Rui’s face.
“Of course I am. I can’t live on without him.” Rui said quietly.
“I suppose that makes sense. ‘Cmon, if we don’t do it now we’ll miss the sunset and then this one won’t be ours.” Nene said, standing up and reaching a hand out to Rui.
Rui took her hand, smiling sadly.
“Ready?”
“Nope!”
Falling was a nice sensation. That was their last thought.