Work Text:
Now I'm not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Depeche Mode - Walking in My Shoes
“Hello again, Tin Man.”
Q sat back on the couch, one leg crossed carelessly over the other, wearing an admiral’s uniform that was at least a hundred years out of date.
No one in Starfleet was unaware of Q and his trials and games, or the chaos that accompanied him to follow a thousand tales deep in his wake. You had to admit a certain awe at seeing him in the flesh, a being whose legend was difficult to truly comprehend, sitting in your quarters like he belonged there. Looking every bit like any other human.
And that was the danger. Taking him at face value was a misstep that resulted in a lot of bad dreams and broken hearts. The uncertain fascination you felt quickly melted into a more appropriate level of trepidation.
“Data to bridge.” Data tapped his combadge once, then a second time, but there was no answer.
Q stood and waved his hand dismissively. “No need to involve Picard and his band of un-merry malcontents. This little visit is just between us friends.”
Lore moved quickly to where you stood and maneuvered you behind him. Not that it would do much good against a being with godlike powers, but you understood the impulse. You might have done similar were you not the most painfully underpowered person in the room.
“Oh, come now, Lore. You don’t really think I’d hurt anyone, do you?”
“I don’t know what you would do, and that’s the problem.”
“Well, allow me to ease your troubled mind.” Q scanned your quarters, rearranging and inspecting objects here and there. He stopped at your Romulan empressera remi, raising an eyebrow at the unassuming plant before turning a smile toward you. “Oh, the little plant girl is so much more than she seems. But that’s for later. Now, where were we? Ah, that’s right. I’m here to gift you a belated wedding present.”
Data repositioned Lore’s sparring counter that Q sat down carelessly after playing with it. “I do not believe it is wise to accept a gift from you, Q.”
While Q was occupied with Data, you took the opportunity to tap your own combadge, hoping you could alert the bridge to Q’s presence. They would need all the heads up they could get. Once again, nothing happened.
Q gave you a look you hadn’t seen since you tried to eat a handful of clay in preschool. “Really, must I take those from you? You’re like excitable children with a toy. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, I think you’re going to like this gift. Both you and your brother act like there’s nothing in the world you want more.”
“No way,” Lore said, his voice cutting with an edge only someone with unstable programming could conjure in front of an enormously powerful being. “I know what Data wants more than anything, but I have no desire to be human. No offense, kitten.”
“I wouldn’t dream of making either of you human. Bad enough that you married one.” Q angled a pitying look at you. “No offense, kitten.”
Lore shifted foot to foot. “Are you going to tell us what the hell this gift is, or are you going to keep prancing around giving speeches?”
“You wound me, Lore.” Q vanished momentarily before reappearing next to Data, arm around his shoulder. “You saved my life once, Tin Man. I don’t like being indebted, especially since the circumstances were so unfair. Of course I needed help. I was little more than a squawking, enfeebled human, barely capable of walking while having a single coherent thought, knuckles raised from the ground practically yesterday.” He said the word human as if it were old food caught in his throat. “So I come bearing a wedding gift for the Tin Man and Tin Man’s evil twin. How very fun, by the way, if not just a trifle cliche.”
“And am I to assume that acceptance of this gift is compulsory?” Data asked.
“My dear Data, I don’t think you’d want to turn this down even if you could.”
For the first time since Q appeared, you felt genuine fear. A gift from an all-powerful, all-knowing being whose moods were as fickle as the weather, that couldn’t be refused? Perhaps you weren’t worried enough. Nonetheless, he spoke of Data fondly, which must count for something. Or not. It was impossible to tell with someone whose temperament and whims were so capricious. You had plenty of experience in that with Lore.
“What is this gift, Q?” Data asked.
Q smiled, a knowing, Cheshire smile. “The color of the grass on the other side.”
With that, he was gone in a blink, as if he had never been there.
***
The first hour was a frenzy of confusion and panic.
Captain Picard stood in the center of the maelstrom that had taken over your quarters, his arms crossed as he watched his second officer with a mixture of concern and uncertainty. “What does that mean, he switched your programming?”
Data paced the floor looking absolutely shell-shocked, eyes wide and terrified. He vacillated wildly from anger to fear to grief to laughter. While it was easy enough for Lore to navigate the calm, efficient structures of Data’s mind, Data couldn’t have prepared himself for what he’d be thrown into. None of you could have been prepared for the consequences of Q’s gift, and there was little you could do but stand back and watch, Geordi equally at a loss beside you.
“Exactly what it sounds like,” Lore said, watching Data’s every movement with alert focus.
“So he has your…issues?” You had to admire the captain for struggling to be diplomatic about his wording, even if no one could be blamed for not knowing how best to navigate such an unusual situation.
“Yes.” Lore no doubt understood the captain’s implication, his worries, though he gave no outward indication if it bothered him. Nothing seemed to ripple that calm surface.
“Do we need to worry about…” The captain waved his hand as if he could coax the right words to him.
“No,” Lore said. “Data’s circumstances are different than mine. He’s not going to hurt anyone. Not intentionally. But I think it would be best if you and LaForge left.”
The captain furrowed his brows. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea considering Data’s current state.”
“If you know someone who’s better equipped to help him through this, I’m open to suggestions. As it is, the only thing that can happen with so many people around him is exactly what no one wants to happen.”
Picard regarded him for a moment before nodding. “I want a report immediately if anything changes, and especially if Q decides to rejoin us.”
Geordi approached Data cautiously, feigning a smile, even as the worry was clear on his face. “Hey, pal, we’ll meet up later, okay? Everything’s going to be fine.”
“No, it is not. Nothing is alright. Nothing.” Data’s eyes were wild as he struggled to breathe and cool his overheating systems.
Geordi reached out to put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, like he had done so many times before. A simple gesture of reassurance.
“Don’t touch him.” Lore quickly pushed Geordi’s hand away and slid himself between the two men, putting as much space between them as possible.
Geordi drew back immediately. It amazed you how everyone had so easily come under the sway of Lore’s calm authority, which had been directing every movement, every interaction, while also keeping a close vigil over his brother. It was a precarious balance that Lore typically would not be capable of. But nothing was typical about the circumstances.
“Why will you not let people near me, Lore? What is wrong with me? You hate me.” Data grabbed his head, as if he could contain the chaos there.
Lore held Data’s upper arms firmly, not giving him the opportunity to pull away from him. “Listen to me. You’re smart, fast, and very strong. You could accidentally hurt someone without meaning to. I know you can’t control what you’re feeling, but you can control your reactions. I need you to concentrate on not reacting.”
Data’s face crumpled as he shook his head vehemently. “I do not wish to hurt anyone. I am sorry. I…“
Geordi whistled and shook his head as he turned away. “It’s so strange seeing him like this. It’s like he’s not even—“
“You can’t begin to imagine what he’s going through.” Lore wouldn’t let Geordi finish the thought. His voice was cool and even, without heat, but possessing the memory of it. No one knew better than Lore what madness was gripping his brother. “He’s still Data.”
You saw Geordi and the captain out, reiterating Lore’s promise to keep the bridge informed of any changes, then took a deep breath to steel yourself before returning to the mayhem.
“They have all left. They hate me. They want me to leave.” Data sat on the floor and put his face in his hands.
You crouched down a few paces from him, out of reach, just as Lore had instructed. In fact, he had been very clear about that from the beginning. “No, my love. They left because they care about you. They just don’t want to upset you.”
“I love you so much it is hurting me.” Yellow tears were spilling over his cheeks as he looked at you. “Why?”
Tears blurred your own vision in response. Your heart broke for him, for the pain and confusion that overwhelmed him from nothing more than feeling the one thing he had wanted to feel more than anything. How could you explain to him that the things you cherished most also had the power to ruin you, that love could grow so big that it rearranged everything that you were?
“I’m so sorry, my love.” You reached for him, but thought better of it, and instead decided to give him space, hoping that if you were out of sight, you would be out of mind.
“Do not go,” he said, his expression lost and desperate.
Before you knew it was happening, his arm shot out and he grabbed your wrist so tight it hurt, and you couldn’t help crying out. Just as quickly, Lore was on him, and in seconds he’d freed you from the vice of Data’s grip.
Data looked pleadingly up at his brother. “Why do I desire for this to keep hurting me?”
Lore didn’t answer him, instead turning a serious look to you. “You have to stay back. Data would never forgive himself if he hurt you.”
You could only nod, your mouth dry as you rubbed your wrist. There would be a bruise, but it didn’t feel broken. Which was good, because if you had to go to sickbay people would ask questions that had no fair answers.
Maybe you should have left, for his sake, but you couldn’t bring yourself to abandon your husband when he needed every ounce of support he could get. So you sat quietly on the couch, trying not to move or draw attention to yourself, but smiled encouragingly every time Data looked your way. The helpless feeling that settled in your gut squeezed you tight and made you sick. If only you had the right words, maybe you could have soothed him in some way.
Over the course of another tense, manic hour, Lore finally managed to calm Data. Or, close to it. Without having to navigate the storm of his own emotions, Lore proved to be brilliant at taking command of a situation. You wondered who he would have been were it not for his faulty programming.
He would have been someone else entirely, and not the man you loved.
“And now?” Lore watched as Data paced around your quarters, taking inventory of his every change.
“I am currently experiencing eighty-six thoughts and at least four emotions that I cannot categorize.” Data sounded almost breathless, his eyes darting around the room, although he certainly had a better handle on himself. Under Lore’s patient instruction, he’d learned to pass the emotional reaction through several failsafe processes, which dampened the effect they had before reaching his core processor. Even then, the effect of Lore’s programming was nothing short of brutal.
“That’s about the best you can hope for,” Lore said.
Data’s pacing increased as he became more agitated, and you couldn’t blame him. You knew too well what it felt like to be trapped in a small space when you were overwhelmed, people watching you when you were at your lowest. Once the ordeal was over - and you prayed there would be an end - Data wouldn’t be happy that so many people had seen him like that. The paragon of composure reduced to a jittering patchwork of neuroses.
Lore took Data’s arm to still him. “I don’t think staying here like this is going to do you any good. Besides, we don’t know how long this will last, so we might as well make the most of it.”
“You think it’s safe for him to leave?” you asked.
“We’re going to find out.”
***
The walk down the corridor was one of the longest you’d ever taken. With every step, Data looked more and more hunted, as if waiting for something to spring from the shadows. At least you were able to walk by his side, your arm around his waist to offer what you hoped was comfort. Lore had him flanked on the other side as he alternated checking in with him and tapping out something on his PADD.
You weren’t entirely convinced that leaving your quarters was the best idea, but Lore thought letting him break free of those confines for a while might do him good. If nothing else, he might enjoy the experience, and that could be distraction enough to prevent another meltdown.
Data dismissed your idea of the arboretum, insisting instead on Ten Forward. While you understood the allure, the view and the people all familiar to him, you worried there would be too many distractions. In his current state, it didn’t take much stimulation to send him spinning out of control.
As expected, Ten Forward was crowded and noisy, and Data seemed to take it all in with a mix of fascination and horror. The room was a cacophony of lights and sounds and movement. At any other time that might have felt welcoming, even joyful, but all you saw then were incalculable opportunities for something to go very wrong.
Data moved hesitantly as he scanned the room, eyes darting from light to table to windows, a cycle of interest and distress.
There were no empty tables, and neither you nor Lore thought Data was ready to be seated in a group of people, so you opted for the bar. Lore sat with his back to the counter, keeping an eye on his brother and anyone who might approach.
“Well, good evening, Data. Out for an evening stroll?” Guinan approached the three of you, the wide brim of her hat casting a shadow across her enigmatic smile. She leaned over the counter, close enough to Data to touch, yet Lore made no move to stop her. If even Q feared the El-Aurian, Data was likely the least of her worries.
“Good evening, Guinan.” Data hesitated, eyes moving back and forth as if he had forgotten how to make small talk. He looked to his brother, as if for answers. “I am…I do not know.”
Guinan thought for a moment, then raised a finger. “You look like a man who could use a drink. I know just the thing. Wait right here.”
Data jerked upright, his eyes lighting. “I can taste food now. I had not given that any consideration. I wonder if—“ He froze, looking off into the distance, his pupils constricting to tiny, black points in a sea of yellow.
When you followed his line of sight, you saw a group of engineers at a table at the far end of the room, laughing and tossing back drinks. Data’s hands balled into fists, his arms trembling with effort, eyes narrowed and cold.
Lore stood and stepped in front of him, trying to block his view. “What are you feeling?”
“Lieutenant Sarota. Last year I heard him tell the other engineers that I was nothing more than an isolinear chip in a uniform. That was not nice. In fact, that was very rude.” His voice shook with unspent rage. “I want to put his head through that table. Why do I want to put his head through the table?”
A chill shot down your spine and your blood ran cold. There were far too many people in Ten Forward, too many opportunities for memory and injustice.
Lore tried to get his brother’s attention, but Data seemed to look right through him. “I am having to divert all my non-essential processes to sublimate the desire to do great harm to Lieutenant Sarota. And yet, I do not want to divert them. I want to hurt him. I think it will feel good. I think it will feel…right.”
“I think it’s time we leave.” Lore managed to turn Data from his target, his hand firmly on his back to guide him. Data was still a bow drawn too tight, ready to fire and do unknowable damage.
Data let Lore maneuver him, but turned his head to look back at the lieutenant, so he didn’t see Barclay passing in front of him. Data bumped him, knocking the drinks out of his hands, some of which splashed on you.
“I am sorry,” Data said, his attention split between the mess and the table of engineers. “Please forgive me, Lieutenant Barclay. Were one of those drinks for Lieutenant Sarota?”
“Oh, no, it’s okay, commander,” Barclay stammered. “I-it was m-my fault. I—”
“Don’t you worry about that. I’ll take care of it” Guinan reappeared with a tall shot glass full of murky red liquid, which she put into Data’s hand. “For the road.”
Data looked down at the glass, finally tearing his eyes away from the object of his fury. He shook his head and blinked, as if the tunnel of anger he was in had fallen away and reminded him, finally, where he was.
“See? It’s not a big deal,” Lore said, needing to exert more physical force to move his brother along.
You couldn’t help noticing that Lore’s hand was positioned directly over Data’s activation switch, and the thought only increased your worry. Would it really come to that? And what did Lore know from his own experience that would cause him to consider such a drastic measure?
***
After returning to your quarters, you were eager to get out of your soiled uniform. Standing there in nothing but bra and panties, you hadn’t been paying too much attention to what was going on around you until you heard Lore’s warning.
“Easy. Stop right where you are.”
You looked up to find Data staring at you like a lion cornering a gazelle. It was a look you were intimately familiar with on Lore. Data’s eyes were wide as he ignored his brother, inching closer to you instead.
“I want her. I have never wanted anything more.” He attempted to adjust the hard bulge evident in his pants but succeeded only in further arousing himself.
In the blink of an eye, Lore was between you, putting a hand out to stop Data’s advance. “I understand that, but you’ve had trouble controlling yourself. You could easily hurt her, even if you don’t mean to.”
“I will not hurt her! I promise I will be careful.”
“Lore.” You put your hand on his shoulder to reassure him. “You said yourself that we don’t know how long this will last. Let him have this. Please?”
In truth, you were just as eager as Data. Unlike Lore, Data didn’t get what you would call pleasure from sex, though the activity did produce a kind of internal reward mechanism, much the same as the satisfaction he got from composing music, painting, or solving a puzzle. This was your first, and possibly only, opportunity to give him real pleasure. Although, you would have to take it very slowly, as the last thing you wanted was to overwhelm him further. There was no telling what the consequences might be.
Lore agreed, reluctantly at first, but Data promised to abide by Lore’s rules. No oral sex for him, nothing that could impede your breathing, no positions that trapped you beneath him, no holding you down or pinning or restricting your limbs or movement in any way, and nothing rough under any circumstances. If you said stop, enough, or anything that indicated things were taking an unfortunate turn, Data was to stop immediately. Lore wasn’t taking any chances, which was exactly why he was joining you in the bedroom, even if he wasn’t joining you in bed.
Data asked repeatedly if Lore wanted to join you, but he declined, explaining that he had experienced some jealousy when the relationship first began. He didn’t want to chance the same happening with Data. Instead, he sat in a chair off to the side of the bed, keeping an eye on his brother while tapping away on his PADD, which seemed to have become an extension of his arm.
Considering the circumstances, Data was doing a remarkable job of controlling himself. For the most part, he was content to have you on top and setting the pace. He looked up at you as if you were the most spectacular thing he had ever seen, and was enraptured by nothing more than touching you all over, exploring your body as if seeing and feeling you for the first time. And perhaps that was right. Everything was a first for him then, as he was experiencing the world through the new lens of emotion.
“Incredible,” he said, as he gently kneaded the soft flesh of your ass and hips. “Kiss me again, please.”
You smiled, only too happy to oblige, leaning over him until your nipples brushed his chest. Softly at first, you ghosted your lips over his, featherlight, teasing him with your breath. He groaned in response, such a sad, pleading sound, and raised his head to chase your mouth. With your fingers on his lips, you urged him back, and when he complied, you rewarded him by sucking his lower lip into your mouth, drawing it softly between your teeth. His excited whimper sparked a fire in you, and you rolled your hips back to bury him inside you at the same time your tongue parted his lips, finally letting him taste your mouth.
His tongue explored you cautiously at first, then gained confidence while still maintaining restraint. You stilled for a moment as his hand just barely touched the back of your head, as if he wanted to hold you to him, to not let you escape his growing hunger.
“No.” Lore’s word was absolute as it cut through the room, having all the power to put an end to Data’s fun, and yours as well.
“I was only going to—“
“I said no.”
You sat up once more and took Data’s hands in your own. Maintaining eye contact, you sucked each of his fingers into your mouth slowly, sensuously, running your tongue over each fingertip obscenely. He gasped and held his breath as he watched you, making small movements with his hips as he did.
“I…you are…I am afraid I am not going to last.” He squeezed his eyes shut, as if he could summon the stamina he needed to continue.
“Come for me,” you said, speeding up the pace, impaling yourself on him to drive him forward. “Please, come in me.”
Your words seemed to push him right against the edge. Still, you could feel him fighting it.
“But you have not—“
“I don’t care. I want you to come for me. Please.” You had all the time in the world to enjoy yourself. He had spent the entirety of your relationship focused on your pleasure. It was his turn.
You ran your hands all over your body, squeezing your breasts, giving him a show he couldn’t resist. Strangled noises you’d never heard him make came from somewhere deep in his chest as he continued moving his hips slightly, his movements becoming more erratic, unrhythmic. He gasped and arched his head back when you rolled his nipples between your fingers.
“Hands off her when you come.” Lore said.
Without hesitating, Data let his arms fall to the bed as the orgasm hit him. He gritted his teeth and moaned, bucking up into you and gripping the sheets so hard he tore straight through them, exactly as he had when he lost control on Vulcan. You moaned and writhed, wringing every last bit of pleasure from him, gradually slowing until his breathing returned to normal.
He stared up at the ceiling for a few moments, loosening his grip on the sheets. “I wish to try food now. No, wait, I wish to continue this. No, food.”
You laughed and slid off him, slipping into clean clothes while he hurried to the replicator.
Most of Data’s mania subsided over the following hour, thanks in large part to Lore’s guidance and the limited stimulation available in your quarters, though there was still plenty to keep him entertained. That balance left him with a calmer, more lucid mindset with which to safely explore his new feelings. He still needed constant stimulation and attention, or would very quickly grow restless and destructive, just as Lore typically did.
For his part, Lore had remained calm and focused, occupied with his PADD, though he was far too quiet, which worried you. You were eager to get a few moments to talk with him, but Data was still making that nearly impossible. Since the whole ordeal began, both you and Lore had found yourselves in the role of babysitter.
You had hoped to engage more with Data, help him explore the possibilities of his new, even if temporary, reality, but his startlingly short attention span made that difficult. Instead, you sat back and watched him, laughing as he surrounded himself with dozens of replicated foods, sampling and passing spirited judgment on each, sometimes returning to one of the many stacked plates to see if he’d changed his mind about a particular food.
“This is revolting!” Data threw a plate of Klingon gagh halfway across the room, his face contorted with displeasure after no more than a sniff of the dish. Not that you could blame him. Gagh was certainly an acquired taste.
Revolting was the word he had used to describe most of the foods he tried, which wasn’t surprising, considering Lore also didn’t care to eat. He did express a fondness for the crunch and texture of Bajoran candied kendo fruit. The smell from so many foods combining in the air was becoming overwhelming.
“I like this!” he proclaimed loudly, pointing excitedly at a plate of Andorian krill-beast. He whipped around to look at you, nodding enthusiastically. “And you. I like the taste of you.”
Well, you certainly didn’t feel great about the comparison, but decided it was best to take it as a completely unrelated compliment.
Data, as you knew him, would have been horrified to see himself in his present state- naked, foods from across the galaxy smudged all over his bioplast. Undignified, is what he would call himself. And yet, you found it somehow endearing. After everything he’d been through that day, it felt good to see him enjoying himself without the threat of an emotional meltdown.
“Here,” you said, bending to kiss his forehead as you handed him a towel. “You might want to clean yourself off before too many layers of krill-beast build up.”
His eyes widened as a smile tore across his face. “A bath! I would like to take a bath.”
Without another word, he stacked up several unsampled plates and headed off into the bathroom. At least he couldn’t get into too much trouble in there. And that, finally, freed up some much-needed time.
When you sat next to Lore on the couch, he put his PADD down and smiled at you, though you couldn’t help noticing that the smile didn’t reach his eyes. You put your hand on his leg, giving it a gentle squeeze. Seeing him then, a day’s worth of guilt rushed over you at once. Data’s dramatic emotional turns had required every ounce of your attention, leaving none left for Lore. And you had taken for granted that he was simply okay, just as Data always was.
“What have you been working on?” You nodded at the PADD he had barely put down that day.
“I’ve been going over schematics for a new explorer the Vulcan Science Institute sent me to look over. It was giving me some trouble, but I was able to make a lot of progress on it.”
On the surface, that sounded positive, but something needled you, though you weren’t sure what it was. You took his hand in yours and traced lazy circles over his palm. “Talk to me. How are you feeling?”
“I’m good.”
No, something was wrong. Very wrong. Something twisted in your gut, sending warnings sparking throughout your body. You stroked his hair, hoping to make a connection of some sort. And that was it, you realized. Lore was always so connected and present with you, and now there was nothing but a cool expanse growing wider between you. It scared you.
“Lore, please talk to me. Don’t shut me out.”
For an eternal moment, he said nothing, just looked at you, expressionless. The blankness of his stare was eerie on him, unsettling you deeply.
“I always thought it must be so easy being Data, father’s perfect little golden child. It was nice at first. My mind was quiet and ordered.” He looked down at where your fingertips brushed his palm. “I know how I feel about you. I know every feeling I have for you. I know I want to spend forever with you and I know I want to make you happy. But I can’t feel it.” He looked up at you again, a desperate, vacant pain hollowing his eyes. “This is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.”
Tears spilled over your cheeks, your breath hitching painfully in your chest. “Lore…”
“Data might be able to live with this because he doesn’t know any other way, but I know what I’m missing. I’m surrounded by emptiness. That’s the only way I can describe it. I remember what excitement feels like. And love. I want you back. I’d give anything to have you back. You feel so far away. I’ve been trying to stay busy.”
All day you had mistaken his stoic demeanor for calm, but it had been something else entirely. You had been so focused on Data’s outward storm, you completely missed the abyss swallowing Lore whole. You had failed him.
You pressed your forehead to his, just as you always did, the way the two of you expressed your love without him needing to say the words he found so difficult. “I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry. We’ll fix this. We—“
“Lieutenant Sarota said I am an isolinear chip in a uniform.” Data emerged from the bathroom, naked and soaking wet. “Commander Maddox called me ‘it’. Dr. Pulaski would not call me by my name. Commander Riker removed my arm and deactivated me.”
You and Lore rushed to Data, his body trembling even though he couldn’t be affected by the cold.
“They do not think I am real. They do not think I am a person.” Panicked, Data backed himself against the wall, as if an army of beasts were standing against him. His legs buckled and he slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “I am a person! I am real! I am real. I…am. Am I not?” He looked up at you, his eyes frantic, desperate. “Am I real?”
You dropped to your knees in front of him and took his face in your hands, letting your own tears fall. “Yes, my love. You are so very real.”
“What if they are right? What if I die and none of it ever mattered because I am not real? I do not like this. I hate this. I wish for it to stop. Please, make it stop.”
Desperate, you looked to Lore for help, but he stood off to the side, eyes closed as if caught in the memory of a pain he knew all too well.
Never in all of your life had you felt so powerless. So small and inconsequential. You were helpless to do anything meaningful to ease the pain of the men you loved, and could only watch with an equal measure of heartache as they were each tormented in their own way. At any other time you would have turned to them and they would have been there, foundation and fortress. They had never let you down. The wretched sickness sank into your marrow knowing that you couldn’t do the same for them.
“Q!” You screamed his name into the aether, not knowing how to summon him, if he could be summoned at all, unsure if he was listening. If he had, perhaps, been watching the slowly unfolding torture all along. “Goddammit, where are you?”
“What’s that I hear? Is it the melancholy sound of my name being wailed across the cosmos?”
You and Lore turned to see Q exactly where he had appeared before, sitting back on the couch, unconcerned, an infuriatingly smug smile twisting his face. Data was still caught in the grip of his madness, and you were beginning to worry that you could never pull him back out of it.
“It’s enough, Q. Fix them. Please.” You no longer had the energy or indignance to bury him in the righteous scorn he deserved. Not even the Klingons had curses sharp enough to cut him as he deserved. You could only hold Data close, stroking his head in a way you hoped he’d find calming, while he gripped you so hard you knew it was going to leave deep bruises.
“Since you asked so nicely.” Q snapped his fingers, and for a moment, it seemed like nothing had happened. There were no lights exploding across the heavens, no trumpets announcing a change, nothing to indicate anything at all was different.
Slowly, Data’s grip on you loosened. He looked momentarily confused, and then a sheepish look came over him. “I am naked.”
You reached for his pants, which he accepted gratefully. No doubt his modesty subroutine was having a fit.
“Mother-fucking-goddam-Kahless-on-a-bike!” Lore tipped his head back and bellowed at nothing in particular before turning his burning gaze on you. Faster than you could react, he stood over you, reaching down to drag you up by your arms. He crushed your body against his, kissing you hard and deep until your lungs were burning for air.
Relief crashed over you in a wave so overwhelming you could have wept. Lore finally released his hold on you, and you watched as Data dressed with an expression nearing shame.
“Well, did we learn anything?” Q asked, his eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Yeah,” Lore said, his smile venomous and without a trace of humor. “I learned you’re a fucking asshole, and I’m going to spend the rest of my days figuring out how to punch a hole through you.”
“Such hurtful words, Lore. And after all I’ve done for you. Oh, well. I think you’ll come to appreciate me and my gifts in time. Until then, I bid you all adieu.”
And once more, with a snap of his fingers, he was gone.
***
No one alerted the bridge to Q’s coming and going right away. The atmosphere felt dense and heavy as the three of you worked together to clean up the mess in your quarters. No one spoke, each occupied with their own worries and revelations.
Life on a starship sailing through unexplored space tended to make a person nearly immune to the strange and peculiar. But those events, no matter how unexpected or even dangerous, were impersonal. A subspace anomaly here, a previously undiscovered civilization there- none of them were set against you. The past day had put you face to face with the deeply personal, unearthing worlds of hurt and misunderstandings, but also potential. The potential, perhaps, to heal old wounds and create bridges toward compassion.
You picked up the holo emitter that had been knocked from the shelf and activated it, smiling at the image of you, Data, and Lore on your wedding day. Data’s face, nearly unreadable as always, was captured in that rare smile that just barely raised the corners of his mouth. But Lore’s eyes were lit with an unmistakeable fire as he looked down at you. An ache settled deep in your chest as you remembered his earlier vacant stare, empty of any heat, but haunted by the memory of it. A heat that had consumed Data and chased him over an edge he may not have come back from.
A sigh shuddered inside you, threatening to become more. You quickly pushed it down. Your pain could wait.
Staring at a monstrous stack of plates, it was Data who finally broke the silence. “Lore, I would like to apologize. I did not realize all that you have to deal with. It was overall… unpleasant.”
Lore fell back on the couch, happy to let the two of you finish the last of the work. “Funny. I was going to say the same to you.”
They had barely made it half a day in the other’s shoes. A half a day of fear and nothingness, of both failures and, you hoped, understanding. Your body practically hummed with exhaustion, and it would be a while before you could unravel all that had happened that day. No doubt the repercussions would be felt for a long time to come.
“I am sorry I was so disruptive,” Data said, picking the remnants of gagh off the floor.
You put your hand gently on his wrist when he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “It wasn’t your fault.”
Data looked at Lore, who busied himself once more with his PADD. “Yes, I realize that now.”
Those who only saw Lore’s surface never questioned the assumption that he was weak, both mentally and emotionally, always giving in to his baser impulses without a fight. Few people cared to get close enough to the fire to see what really sat at the center of his flame. He never complained and he never asked for pity or understanding, likely because he never received it and had no reason to expect it. Before that day, even you hadn’t realized the true extent of his strength, of the determination it took just to live one minute to the next.
“By the way,” Lore said, sparing a glance at his brother, “what you’ve been calling relay feedback are emotions. They’re very subtle, but I think that’s because you’re not recognizing them and giving them the attention they need to develop.”
“After this experience, I have concluded the same. I wonder if there is a way to prohibit them from further development.”
You stopped what you were doing, uncertain if you’d heard him correctly. “Why would you want to do that?”
Lore returned his attention to his PADD. “You won’t be like me. There’s nothing wrong with your programming.”
Data thought about it for a moment. “Perhaps in the future I will endeavor to work on developing them. For now, I need some time. I do not wish to consider the possibility of emotions in the immediate future.”
That was understandable. Wrung out and with barely any energy left to spare, you had only been a witness to the chaos, and even you felt you could use a break from emotion.
Lore heaved a long sigh and stood, crossing the short distance to pull you up and press you tight against him. The possessive fervor of his fingers digging into your flesh was more a comfort than ever before, spurring you to fist your hands into the fabric of his shirt, to erase every sliver of separation.
“Cleanup can wait,” he said, the low, dangerous timbre of his voice setting off a familiar tremble throughout your body. “I’ve got what feels like an eternity to make up for.”