Chapter Text
Stillness ran through the Street Sekai for what seemed to be the first time in days. A soft hum from a whirring coffee machine ran through the café, summoning the start of a new day.
Technically speaking, the sekai itself did not cycle through ‘day’ or ‘night’, as the everawake digital world reflects the notion that it can be any time, anywhere in the real world. However, as the virtual singers began to learn the routines and patterns of those they watched over, they began to adapt their schedules to construct their own definition of time.
Akito would often visit early in the morning to exercise or train his vocals, depending on his prior mood, which Rin and Len would always aid with. This would run for an hour or two, until he ran to his phone in a whirlwind of frenzy due to fear of being late for school… which he almost always was, especially as his numerous piercings took a while to put back in after a game of football. It had gotten to the point An had once visited before him, pleading the twins to not entertain his urge to train in the morning as it always ran on for too long. This led her to become late herself in the midst of pleading with two reluctant 14 year olds. As for Kohane, she would visit after school, either chatting merrily about the events of her day to a curious Luka and Kaito, or she’d be rushing to an open space to practice her vocals. Although the Kagamine twins did love to train with Kohane, especially Rin, they often spent these times having a drink of coffee or tea as they waited for the latest arrival of the four - Touya, who always visited during the night where he did not return ‘home’ straight away. Sometimes it was just to check in, to have a coffee and a chat with Meiko, and sometimes it was due to events similar to the previous night… living in a hostile household never did wonders to his mental health, unsurprisingly. As such, Meiko always left out snacks for when he visited and just needed time to calm down and ease the storm within his head before bed, preventing the lightning from striking and causing horrific damage to all around him.
Some nights were more difficult than others. Panic attacks and outbursts came hand in hand with these nights, as much as he wished this was not the case. Every so often something would break. That ‘something’ was almost always Touya’s spirit, though there had been a few shattered glasses or cups. He didn’t mean to.
It isn’t going to be easy, holding things when you’re shaking and your entire body just wants to run, run, run away, get away from everything and make the path you take hard to pursue. Staying put when every limb in your body has adrenaline coursing through its veins is just going to make your body release that adrenaline in any means possible.
Therefore, great fortune fell upon everyone’s spirits when last night was not as severe as some others had been.
Though, if it were to have escalated to severe levels, that would have been okay too. Just as long as the night ended with him comfortable and well.
“Touya… wakey wakey, darling.” Meiko shook him gently, hoping not to disturb him but still send the message that he needed to wake up. As was the common routine for Touya after a night like the last, he had accidentally fallen asleep in the sekai. Len had been the first to fall asleep; he had curled up in Touya’s arms, reading the book along with him as he ran a finger across the pages, and in that process managed to doze off. Although Touya had not intended to fall asleep, sleep had also gained a grip upon his soul and his drooping eyes (that he could not clamp open if he tried) shut for the evening. After a brief pause - and some stirring in his sleep, shuffling around slightly - Meiko shook him once more, with slightly more vigour than previously. This sent a message through to his sleeping subconscious, leading him to stir some more. His eyes, in all their reluctance to leave the world of dreams, opened with a fuzz to his vision.
All he could see were fuzzes of red, brown and yellow surrounding him. However, sight was the last of his focuses as the smell of coffee flooded all his senses, clogging up his nose and his brain. He clamped his eyes back shut and hoped he could drift back off to sleep for 5 more minutes. Unfortunately, the smell he would usually welcome if not for the time of day reached his throat, jerking him forward as he choked on the bitterness.
Coffee didn’t possess a bad smell, but he didn’t wish to drown in its bitter embrace upon waking up.
“Onii-chan… don’t… do that…” Just as groggily as his older sibling, Len shuffled upright and clung onto Touya, aware of what was occurring in the awake world yet choosing to keep his eyes and brain within the dream world. Despite his hands feeling uncomfortable, as if awakening had made him hyper aware of the fact he possessed bones and skin, he gave Len a small pat on the head and leaned back.
“What’s the time?” Meiko chuckled at his groggy state and walked over to the counter to check his phone. One of the many mysteries was how phones still read the clock of that person’s time zone within a sekai. Questioning the logistics was not on the routine for today, however.
“It’s… 7:32am, according to your phone!” She projected her voice over to Touya, who groaned once more in absolute discontent of having to wake up early. “Are you not particularly fond of mornings, perchance?”
“It’s 7am?” Was all he responded with, making Meiko laugh once more as she took a nosy peek at his messages. It wasn’t as if Touya couldn’t get up early, and he had the willingness to do so, as long as it was on his terms. If he didn’t want to wake up early, he would kick up a fuss and spend the morning crawling back into bed every few moments. Akito had found amusement in this when he had stayed over one time, although all amusement was swiftly replaced with endearment when he had Touya clinging to him, sleepily begging him to come back to bed for 5 more minutes. In that moment, with his boyfriend’s arms wrapped around his waist, his face pressed up against his back as he placed little kisses against his back… Akito’s heart had truly been the closest it’s ever been to bursting.
“You know, Akito was texting you all night…” At the mention of his partner’s name, Touya shot up and tried to approach Meiko, only for his legs to nearly give way. No amount of excitement could make his tired body instantly work. Begrudgingly sitting back down, Meiko held out his phone for him to take—well, almost accidentally snatch in his anticipation.
Akito <3: good morning sunshine :) if you need anything today, let me know, okay?
Touya: Thank you honey, I love you so much<3
Touya: I’m sorry I didn’t respond last night, I was so overwhelmed
Akito <3: hey, its okay!! Didnt bother me at all lol
Akito <3: just want u to be okay, so stay safe and take care lov
“You know, it’s kind of cute how you have a heart next to his name in your contacts!” At this comment from Meiko, Touya felt all the blood in his body rush to his face, embarrassment consuming his entire self.
“It’s…”
“Oh, no, don’t worry! You act as if I haven’t seen all the silly romantic stuff that you guys do, both when your partners are around but also the stuff you do and say when they’re not there to hear…” Touya’s ears pricked up at the concept that Akito not only spoke about him when he wasn’t there, but also that it was ‘silly’ and ‘romantic’ stuff, “Oh, and I’m just telling you now, that Akito of yours is an absolute hopeless romantic when he wants to be…” The heat glowing from his face could have melted everything in a 100 mile radius. His ears seemed to prick up further than humanly possible, as his eyes sparkled with unmatched glee, to an extent Meiko could have believed his irises had been replaced with sheer glitter at how they shone.
Best part was, he wasn’t even fully aware he’d reacted in this way. He only relaxed a little, lowering his shoulders and his chin, when he remembered to check his phone once more. He’d been so excited to text Akito he forgot other people existed. His boyfriend just had that sort of power.
An Shiraishi: Hey, touya! How are you feeling today?
Touya: I’m ok, thank you for checking in
An Shiraishi: of course!!!
An Shiraishi: Have you spoken to Tsukasa-senpai today?
Shit.
He’d forgotten entirely about Tsukasa and Saki, so caught up in his own world.
He frantically shot a reply back to An, not paying enough attention to her response.
Touya: No, why?
An Shiraishi: Ah, well, I think you should! You’ll be thanking Kohane for the idea hehe
“I… I need to get home. If I’m not there when Tsukasa-onii-san and Saki-onee-san wake up, they’ll-”
“Hey, it's okay! If you need to head back, then head back. Wouldn’t want to worry your siblings at all.” Giving a reassuring grin, Meiko gestured towards Len with a slight movement of her head, “Although, you should probably say goodbye to this sibling of yours, too.” Ensuring he opened the tab with the ‘Untitled’ song, Touya placed his phone down beside him and stood up so he could properly say goodbye.
Watching his little brother slowly descend from his position of sitting up, only to curl up on the sofa where Touya had sat cuddled with him only seconds prior, Touya couldn’t help but break into a small grin. His heart seemed to melt, watching his dear sibling seem so relaxed upon being in his presence. However, he seemed… barren, almost, sleeping without a blanket or cover of sorts. What if he got cold? Coldness was not an issue in the sekai, however it was of concern to a sibling, almost to a concerning rate.
This was his first time being an older sibling - is this what Tsukasa and Saki felt towards him? An overwhelming sensation to protect and care for the younger one in the hopes they’ll be just a little happier?
After a brief moment to consider his options, Touya took his hooded jacket off; it was the one he often wore in performances, one Akito had picked out for him. The fact that he had a boyfriend so fashion literate, yet one kind enough to offer that expertise in the form of picking out outfits for him… gosh, Akito was wonderful to him. So, hoping to share that wonder with someone else dear to him, he draped the jacket over Len, watching him smile a little in his sleep in the process. He looked comfortable. Happy. Loved.
Such a feeling did not feel so alien anymore. Especially as he’d been able to recognise it in another.
After doing so, Touya turned to grab his phone and to log back into the real world, the one where he hoped his older siblings would not be in a panicked frenzy as to his location.
Click.
Flash!
“ Sakiiiii , can you please go wake up Touya?”
“On it, onii-chan!” It seemed as if the universe had sympathy for him; the timing of the return was perfect, and nobody had noticed his absence throughout the night.
In his old home, he seldom visited the sekai in his own home. Vigilance was all he ever knew, and although he couldn’t be monitored as severely outside of the Aoyagi household, his parents still tried to exert control over him and his positions within the home. Visits to other rooms of the house almost had to be timed in a schedule to not warrant investigation from his ‘concerned’ mother, to a point that when he went round Akito’s for the first time and Ena inferred that he could help himself to snacks whenever he wanted them, it was as if an entire other world had opened up to him. Although Touya enjoyed routine, such a schedule had always left his chest in unrest, a feeling of dread seeping in and denoting his every organ’s functions to nothingness.
In hindsight, such control seemed like a norm when it was all he knew. To a point that not being observed throughout the night initially seemed absurd, until he realised how liberating autonomy was. His previous lack of autonomy was absurd. But not uncharacteristic of his old home.
“ Gooooood morning Touya!” Almost sending the door off its hinges, Saki graced Touya’s bedroom with her presence, and rushed to welcome the creeping sun’s entry into the room via opening the curtains. “Let’s let some light in, and-” She turned to face her younger brother, only to see him closing in on himself.
He’s not entirely sure what set him off. It may have been the door’s opening. Or it may have been the sharp thrash against the wall, with the intensity to shatter the wall beside it. All he knew was his chest was tight, his eyes were blurred, and his stomach was clenched into a ball that made him ache from head to toe. Everything was blurring. Past and present became an amalgamation.
He had thought he’d gotten over that .
“Touya…?” As if lead glued her to the floor, Saki’s usually peppy steps were replaced with slower, more collected movements, gradually making her way to Touya. “Touya, was it… Did the way I opened the door remind you of something bad…?” Sharp intuition - something both of the Tenma’s shared when it came to their family’s feelings, even if there were attempts to mask it. Her hands hovered over his upper arms, hesitant to offer him that physical comfort in case it carried further trauma in this state. As she did so, her eyes flickered downward, and she noticed the way he was clutching himself, turning himself as small as possible, perhaps in the hope he’d turn invisible… it made his knuckles white, a colour that eerily matched his face. Colour had been drained from him. And, in her focus on his physical state, she almost missed how he gave a small nod to her question. “Do… do you want to talk about it? I’m sorry that I reminded you of such memories.” For a moment, his mouth opened. Only for it to clam shut when he realised how that would be impossible, especially at such a moment. So, to express the words that would not form, he simply placed his head on her shoulder. In an instant, she wrapped her arms around him, embracing him in a way that mirrored his first night.
Eventually, his arms wrapped around her, though with less strength than her embrace.
After a moment of having the little life left in him squeezed out of him, in the classic Saki fashion, he drew the outline of a heart on her back.
It’s okay.
It’s not your fault. I know you didn’t mean to.
The unspoken words hung in the air for a moment, until Saki pulled away from the embrace.
“You… you remember our codes…” Her tone soft, to a point they gently brushed against Touya’s cheek like a small kiss, she squeezed him for one final hug.
Non-verbal episodes such as these were common in situations of stress. Sometimes they were prompted by reminders of the trauma he’d experienced, and other times they were caused by overstimulation - whether it were due to excessive noises, smells, or even just people in general. Nobody close to him had ever thought ill of Touya for these, they simply wished to find ways to make his experiences easier. For some, it involved him typing or writing his thoughts if he had the spoons for such communication. However, Saki had established a code with Touya as children.
Drawing outlines on each other’s skin with their fingers.
Touya’s favourite had always been the heart. The heart offered reassurance, care, and love.
Even in moments where speaking felt physically impossible, even if he wanted so desperately to communicate the whirring thoughts in his head, he could send a message of love to his sister. And she’d always send one back.
They had stopped using this code as they grew up, mostly because of the different paths they took. They both thought the other had forgotten.
Yet, as the outline of a heart felt etched into both of their backs, they shared that unspoken reassurance of the memory.
“ Heyyy , Saki! Touya! Can you both come down, please?” Having hugged for a few moments, allowing the pressure within the air to dissipate, Tsukasa’s booming voice echoed from the staircase.
“Oh, god, I forgot he was sending me to grab you…” Saki hopped on the spot for a few moments, flapping her hands as she did so. “Touya, will you… be okay? If you don’t feel ready to come down yet, you’re under no pressure to. Onii-chan will always understand if you need a minute.” After a moment to ponder his options, Touya shook his head and grabbed Saki by the hand, leading her downstairs at a slow pace. At the bottom of the stairs stood Tsukasa, hands on his hips in a display of pride.
He had something planned.
“Well, well, well… good morning, my dear siblings! I have a very important announcement to make before I welcome you to the table where my wonderful home-made breakfast awaits you!” With exaggerated theatrics, Tsukasa tilted his head back slightly with a wide grin and puffed his chest out.
“...he was frying eggs this morning and nearly burnt them. Our father instantly ran for work to avoid the house burning down.” Saki whispered to Touya, who chuckled at the mental image that was created. Tsukasa always had good intentions, but his executions could be the opposite. Especially if it was first thing in the morning.
“Hey! Saki! I told you not to tell him!”
“Sorry, it just slipped out of me… like how one of the eggs slipped out of your hand onto the floor…” With a teasing tone, she mimicked his puffed out chest of pride, only making Tsukasa’s hairs stand on end.
“ Sakiiiii ! When did you get this cheeky?!” Although he attempted to feign a tone of frustration, the act quickly fell apart for he could not even pretend to be annoyed at his sister. A smirk broke out of his fake frown, and eventually the three of them all fell into hysterics. “Gosh, you both distracted me! Tut tut tut!” Through his laughter, Tsukasa attempted to put on a tone of discontent, only for it to come out like a giggle.
“You’re terrible at pretending to be mad, you know that right, onii-chan?”
“It’s because it’s my dear baby siblings… I cannot be mad at such angels…!” Once again striking an ostentatious pose - one that mimicked angel wings this time - he took a deep breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now! I called you both down so early because I have a! Very important announcement to bestow upon you both!” After unfolding his hands to perform jazz hands with vigor that would put a wonderhoi from Emu to shame, he bestowed his announcement upon his siblings. “We’re going to Phoenix Wonderland today! As a family!” Both Saki and Touya gasped, and they turned to face each other with stars in their eyes.
“Well, why didn’t you tell me this before, onii-chan?! I need to go get dressed!” Saki ran back up a few stairs, only to quickly stop and turn to Touya, “Touya, come with me! I’m doing your hair!” He swiftly nodded and followed his sister upstairs, as they both giggled like small children.
As they both departed to the realm of their bedrooms, Tsukasa stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching over them both as he heaved a deep sigh and his shoulders dropped. A small yet radiant smile crept across his face as he tilted his head to the side slightly, and mumbled to himself, “I’m glad to see you smile again after last night, Touya. I hope today can ease your mind a little.”