Chapter Text
w/askWebbit
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Trans people (or people who know more about gender) of webbit, I need advice.
I have a really close friend who I care for very much (yes in that way, don’t tell my dad, he’s a little weird about the idea of me dating!) and we have been friends for years now, and recently he told me he wants to be a girl. Apparently he’s known for a while and his other friend knew before me.
I want to be clear: I am completely okay with this, but I’m not sure what the best way to support him is, or what I should be doing differently or what to do at all. I also realize my understanding of trans people is limited beyond the basics (that they deserve respect, to be treated as the gender they are and they shouldn’t be hurt for it). Sorry if this is weird, I want to learn more about trans people so I can support him and be there for him. Thank you.
u/Squishella
-cracks knuckles- So first off, she/her now (USUALLY. There are he/him transfems and she/her transmascs out there - they’re rare but are totally a thing). Depending on her dysphoria level, she should join a trans-focused group chat so she has others to talk about it with. BUT make sure she’s careful about those chats. Some of them are full of transmedicalist assholes, so always double check the server. <3
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Pardon me, what is a transmedicalist? And I’ll use she/her for her now, sorry!
u/Squishella
They’re, like, gatekeeping jerks who claim being trans is only about dysphoria and medical transition. It’s totally a big thing for a lot of us, but there’s plenty of us who don’t medically transition, or only change some things and not others! (Like, my body bothers me a lot less than my voice did.)
u/QueenMo
Give her half a billion dollars. I want money. She probably does too. Also tell her to stay out of jail for her safety. I heard trans people have bad times in jail.
u/doofinc
Also don’t rush her into anything she’s not ready for! If she’s a minor (noted that none of you said any ages, but can’t blame you), it’ll be hard for social passing (kids are little bastards at that age) but nobody said transitioning was easy.
u/StrawberryRobot<3
She’s debating whether to tell her mom or not but she doesn’t know how she’ll take it (mom’s a depressed alcoholic ever since the bus broke down). Should I tell her to just tell her? Should I go with her? Should I try and invent a machine that will turn everyone into a trans ally?
u/gadgetguy
I second that last option!
u/perfectlynormina
Get yourself a new friend, your old one has been brainwashed.
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Blocked.
u/miitomo
Reporting as well. (why does she show up in this shit. Bloody terfs.)
u/perfectlynormina
Terfs? I’m not even a *feminist* so take your internet lingo somewhere else.
u/gothchk17
My only advice: Make sure she doesn’t change her name to Mildred.
u/motherhen
First of all; Tell your friend congratulations for coming out! It’s not easy!
Secondly; I know this may sound counterintuitive now that you know, but unfortunately until she tells more people (or if she’s okay with you telling them), you’ll have to continue deadnaming (using her birth name) and misgendering her if other people ask about her. This is for her safety, make sure you don’t tell anyone until she is ready!
u/Fluttershy
If the parents have a history of transphobia/abuse, you should make sure she has a safe place to stay if she gets kicked out or has to leave, I don’t have much to offer other than that.
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Well her mom is… something. But she hasn’t said anything downright negative about trans people? My friend said her moms thoughts are “They exist”. I’m not sure how she’d take her son/daughter(?) being trans.
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
Is her mom hot? ‘Cause I think I could change her mind, if you know what I mean ;)
u/poolpartydayz
Time and place.
u/miitomo
Also I don’t think sex will help with any of that.
~
w/askWebbit
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Part two to this post, my friend is torn between the names Penny or Dana for herself. What do you guys like more?
u/computerhugs
Penny sounds really nice! Honestly, though, I didn’t even change my name when I transitioned, everyone just calls me by my nickname. I don’t like my name that much, but it’s less about it being feminine and more about it just being silly.
u/designgal
Says the guy who comes into work wearing Hawaiian shirts.
u/computerhugs
Those are cool!
u/QueenMo
Did a similar thing. Just picked a new name similar to my deadname and everyone just called me by my nickname anyway. Felt easier. Better than what my best friend did. He transitioned, but he changed his name to Stitch. I want to be supportive, but fucking Stitch?
Also I like Penny more.
u/motherhen
Dana’s a nice name! It’s timeless and has a lovely charm to it.
u/miitomo
Both names sound nice. Though when I transitioned I went with the old trans cliche of ‘going by a more feminine version of your dead one’
u/stonefree
I wouldn’t call it a “cliche”, just something expected.
u/DJ-K-Dance
You named yourself after the We Didn’t Start the Fire guy
u/stonefree
Well it was that or Josiah!
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
Both names are boring! Trans people, why can’t you pick something cool like “Hot Pink Chainsaw Woman Leaking Blood From Her Jacket”? Or “Mr. Stab”?
u/stonefree
Sounds more like Pink Dark Boy characters than anything else.
u/diverdownonthisdick
To be fair, Pink Dark Boy ones are gender goals. (can I say that? Are cis guys allowed gender goals?)
u/computerhugs
I don’t think that either of those can fit on a government paper…
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
Fuck the government!
u/DJ-K-Dance
I think Dana is cute, but it’s up to her! Or is she asking for our opinion?
u/StrawberryRobot<3
She is. She doesn’t use webbit so she asked me to ask.
u/dumbasrocks
Neither. What about Alice, Sarah, Olivia, Bella or literally anything that doesn’t sound like a frumpy 40 year old that reads Gazorpazorpfield??
u/catnip
Dude it’s not your choice, it’s hers. Also I like both names.
u/MissPiggy
I personally think Penny is much prettier and more elegant than Dana!
u/escargoon
What does she look like? If you have a pic I can determine if she looks more like a Penny or a Dana
u/StrawberryRobot<3
I dunno… how old are you? This feels weird
u/escargoon
I’m not into girls, I’m hardly going to jack off to either of you
u/OpenSourceGreg
TMI. w/escargoon, this is your last warning
u/StrawberryRobot<3
meandbestie.png
I’m on the right, she’s on the left.
u/escargoon
Oh yeah, she’s *definitely* a Penny.
u/OpenSourceGreg
Still on thin ice, w/escargoon.
u/escargoon
??? I was just saying she looked like her name would be Penny? If this is about the shower thing, the guy was literally asking us to tell stories like that.
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
She looks more like a Hot Pink Chainsaw Woman Leaking Blood From Her Jacket to me.
u/DJ-K-Dance
Let it go, dude.
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
Never!
~
w/askWebbit
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Penny (new name!) wanted me to ask you guys if you have any passing tips or good fashion advice!
(And she picked Dana for a new middle name so both names got used!)
I should add she’s been eating poppy seeds in order to give herself “more estrogen”. Anyone good at biology know if that works?
u/bestdoctor
Can confirm that it works! Poppy seeds contain phytoestrogens, which are plant compounds that essentially affect the body like a weakened version of estrogen. There are other plants and foods that are rich in phytoestrogens; I can send you an article about it if you want!
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Yes please!
u/dj-ringtail
Be carefuls! Wash them well and stay less than 50g each day. Poppy saps have the opiates!
u/doughnutking
my friend wears flowers on her shirt and ties her hair up if urs wants to do that. she also wears pink quite a bit. i just wear big shirts to cover my body. works for me but idk if it works for her
u/MissPiggy
Get. Voice. Training. Trust me when I say that a good voice trainer can help so much with passing. If you can’t get a voice trainer, at least find some voice training videos and study them.
u/DJ-K-Dance
^^^This!!! It also helps if your friend likes singing.
u/Squishella
YES! The voice was the biggest thing I wanted to deal with when I transitioned and my voice training worked SO WELL.
u/smurfette
If she has any facial hair it may not remove itself if she goes on HRT. So laser surgery if she can afford it!
u/smoothoperator
Lotion is god!!! I highly recommend lotion! Makes your skin softer, which people consider more feminine for some reason!
u/fashiondistrictprincess
Minimal amounts of makeup might help, but I don’t suggest buying any expensive products, cheap lipstick and blush from a drugstore will work just as well!
u/CujoCamouflage
I know for a fact none of you lot are even trans.
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Well… I’m not but I think these guys are?
u/CujoCamouflage
Probably faking it, look at their profiles and posts. They are not trans. Not even a single mention of dysphoria, except for ringtail and he’s such a goddamn femboy I don’t know why he bothers.
u/DJ-K-Dance
Dude WTF are you even talking about. Sorry I don’t post every detail of my transition online for your approval I guess.
u/MissPiggy
Ignore him, darlings, he’s a transmedicalist who’s too stupid to understand not every trans person is like him. There’s a reason w/gender has a “no steele” rule.
u/QueenMo
Ignoring him like she suggested, I really recommend skirts! My favourite one has pockets that work! (Side note: I cannot say this enough: Ever since I started shopping in the women’s aisle, almost nothing has pockets! FIND GOOD CLOTHES WITH POCKETS PEOPLE! EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO SHOP IN THE MENS SECTION, JUST GET THE GOOD POCKETS)
And skirts make me feel pretty! I also like to tie my hair up! Cannot recommend that enough too!
u/diverdownonthisdick
Why is it mainly trans women giving advice? >:( I notice trans guys are left out, as usual!
u/WeatherReport
Just because you’re fucking a trans guy doesn’t make you the CEO of trans advice.
u/stonefree
Sometimes it’s not our turn to talk.
u/careyonmywaywardfries
Well then be the change you want to see in the world buddy.
u/fashiondistrictprincess
I'm not even a trans woman
u/doughnutking
me neither. i just thought my advice would work even if im opposite to her friend
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Because… my friend is a trans woman??? I think trans man specific advice would probably be less than useless…
u/computerhugs
Yeah, I don’t think your friend wants advice on how to convincingly fake having a mustache. I couldn’t even figure that out.
u/JetPackGuy
I’m afraid to ask, but why did you try to fake having a mustache?
u/computerhugs
A guy online told me having a mustache would make me seem more like a man, but I can’t grow a mustache so I bought a fake one and tried to pretend I’d always had it.
u/Patrickstarshowofficial
I still say that was pretty good advice!
u/mosquitoexpert
Sorry to ask so late, is your friend white? If she isn’t, she’ll need to be careful (especially if she’s dark skinned). If any TWOC want to add in go ahead, but if she isn’t then she has a higher chance of violence or sexual assault.
u/smoothoperator
Unfortunately they aren’t wrong…
u/StrawberryRobot<3
She’s hapa (her mom is Kanaka Maoli, her deadbeat missing dad was apparently Japanese) but pale. She’s fine, I doubt she’s going to get raped and murdered. I hope.
u/greensleeves
Tell her to paint “I Am A Girl FFS” on the house of anyone who misgenders her! That way people get the message! Also mix pepper jelly into her enemies lube! That’ll show them! Or smash their head in.
u/KitetheSlayer
I’m cis female, six feet tall, and can deadlift 200lb (working on more). I’ve beaten up ‘phobes before and I’ll do it again. Get strong, prove ‘em wrong!
u/blueribboncalamariandicecream
How are either of you not banned from Webbit?
u/GemsAndCloth
I know a trans man (he’s often at the place I work), so I guess I’ll give you OPPOSITE what he does? Make sure she doesn’t drink any alcohol. He looks like he aged… a lot. He definitely looks masculine, but for her sake so she doesn’t end up looking like him: Stay away from beer.
Also sports bras or bralettes are great! She can put tissue in there if she wants? They’re much more comfy anyway!
u/miitomo
Cute outfits can really help with passing, that’s how it works with me. Granted I was lucky enough to be born feminine looking to begin with so… (I would suggest surgery, but that costs money and take time, and I’m not sure you or your friend has either)
u/MissPiggy
Speaking of the more…physical side of passing, does your friend know how to tuck? If not, I can teach her how; as both a trans woman and drag queen, I do have plenty of experience!
u/StrawberryRobot<3
She doesn’t, she does know “Don’t tuck for more than 8 hours” but she’s not sure how else to do it.
u/MissPiggy
I’ll DM you the details. The instructions can get a bit…graphic at points.
-
w/askWebbit
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Damn. It’s been a bit, but I have a new update!
Everyone meet my beautiful girlfriend Penny penny.png
u/computerhugs
Congrats you two!
u/Squishella
Aww you look so cute together!
u/miitomo
Congrats ^^
u/zephyrbreeze
tHAT’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND?! …IS SHE SINGLE HOLY SHIT!
u/stonefree
-facepalm-
u/DJ-K-Dance
Bro she literally said Penny was her girlfriend.
u/zephyrbreeze
Wait OP is a girl?
u/StrawberryRobot<3
…What the hell made you think otherwise???
On another note, she told me her mom overheard me asking her if she was going to tell her. But her mom’s cool with it so that's good!
u/MissPiggy
She looks absolutely gorgeous, darling! You’re a very lucky girl.
u/motherhen
I’m glad we could help! Tell Penny we love her!
u/DJ-K-Dance
<3 She looks stunning!
u/gothchk17
I guess there is some good in the world, good luck to Penny!
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Thank you so much everyone who gave advice! Penny seems a lot happier than she has been in a while. Though she’s still a bit iffy, but I’ll keep an eye out for anything!
u/zephyrbreeze
Is she single though?
u/StrawberryRobot<3
Dude no.
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
Is her mom single?
u/Squishella
What is with you and trying to hit on the mom?!
u/IceGoldGwen
Says the one who’s been flooding our chat with Lunacorn memes lmao
u/Squishella
That’s different!
u/beetlejuicebeetlejuicebeeeee
I want to fuck a MILF, is that so wrong?
u/hierophantgreen
Time and place