Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

(A//N You don't have to know anything about Peanuts to read this. Comics directly referenced in dialogue or plot will be provided but totally not required to look at them, just there for fun if you want to. Deep dives into the writing, references, research and more will be at the end of each chapter if that interests you.

Cover art made by myself (completely drawn by me, no ai) - 5/30/2026)

Schroeder gazed fondly with a content smile playing at his lips at the face in front of him. It was absolute perfection— simply gorgeous, winsome, and a model of sophistication. It left him mesmerized and inspired to create a grand symphony in honor of its magnificence. The face at which he was gazing upon was none other than that of Ludwig van Beethoven. Well, the face of a miniature statue of Beethoven that is. It was important to him that he had it close by at all times to keep him inspired and disciplined, almost as if he believed it were the great pianist himself staring down motivating his student to practice more and be better. This great fascination for his idol led him to keep a statue placed on his piano at home, the piano he practiced on at school, on his nightstand beside his bed, and he made sure to keep a closet full of extras just in case a certain neighbor of his suddenly decided that she was feeling extra jealous of his attention always going to Beethoven. That neighbor being Lucy van Pelt.

As children, his childhood friend Lucy had a habit of defacing, stealing, or even smashing the small figureheads to pieces even after she learned he had stocked a closet full of spares just in case she did something. But as they grew older and Schroeder's traditionalist British mother who highly valued manners started expecting Lucy to act like a little lady when she came over, she knew better than to destroy his precious sculptures. She had occasionally destroyed the toy piano he constantly played when they were younger as well, once even throwing it down a sewer, however that became out of the question once he finally upgraded to a rather expensive grand piano for his 12th birthday. He had still carried his toy piano with him throughout all of his years in school to play between classes and hold onto like a security blanket, but he was always careful to keep it out of anyone's reach. *February 27th, 1955 strip reference*

It had now been just a bit over a year since Schroeder graduated from high school but he continued to spend his days there, mostly in the auditorium. He hadn't wanted to enroll into college directly after graduation and instead felt it best to spend two years perfecting his skills with a mentor before applying to a top prestigious music school like Julliard or the Curtis Institute where he'd study piano performance and composing. While his parents didn't mind that he had far reaching aspirations of becoming a great pianist and composer, they had grown tired of hearing the piano being played at home every waking hour of the day for so many years on end. In exchange for allowing their son to continue living at home after graduation, he was to do the majority of his practice elsewhere, leading him to ask the school's music teacher if he could use the piano in the auditorium for practice during his mentorship.

The first year of the program went exactly as Schroeder had planned. He met with his mentor twice a week, Monday and Thursday evening, and practiced on his own everyday, even going as far as acquiring a key to the school from the janitor to sneak in on weekends to practice. But he had done more than simply practice this past year of his program. If practice was all he could get out of these two gap years then he wouldn't have taken them as he'd practically mastered piano as much as he possibly could on his own by the time he was a teen. This mentorship had provided him with the opportunity to truly learn. The content was challenging and fresh and allowed him to appreciate the art even more, but mostly Schroeder credited his improvement and personal achievements to having such a rigorous teacher who never took it easy on him, always expecting the absolute best. He was grateful for this as he desired to be nothing short of Beethoven himself— nothing short of perfection.

While during the summer Schroeder's meetings with his mentor continued, his practice dropped off significantly as the school's piano was locked away in storage for break, out of reach even with the janitor's key. It had driven the poor boy mad to have to keep the practicing at home to no more than an hour or two a day or go to the park with his toy. In extremely dire times, Schroeder resorted to asking Lucy if he could practice at her house knowing she'd never refuse the chance to try and get his attention while he played. While all her attempts to catch his eye could be somewhat distracting and highly irritating, he found it far less frustrating than trying to focus next to a playground full of screaming children.

But finally, today was the first day of the new school year and the beginning of the second and final year of his mentorship. Even though he knew he had no classes to attend and was only going to be there to borrow a piano, he still never thought he'd be so grateful to return to school.

"Schroeder, your father and I are off to work now. There's still some coffee in the pot if you want any and I left the sugar out on the counter for you." His mother calls out to him from outside his room effectively pulling the boy from his admiring gaze at the Beethoven figurehead on his nightstand.

"Alright, thanks mum!" He hollers back while pushing himself off his mattress with great enthusiasm that came from his excitement to head to school. After hurriedly throwing on a simple striped t-shirt and pair of jeans, he quickly brushed his teeth and casually ran his fingers through the tangled locks of his hair that had formed in his sleep. He was never looking to impress those around him but it felt necessary to at least remain somewhat presentable as he was an aspiring professional pianist and composer and they always appeared as immaculate models of elegance.

Just as he reached the bottom of the steps while heading downstairs, there was a knock at the front door and he knew instantly it'd be her. Everyday since he'd gotten his license when he was 16, she'd forced him to drive her to school so that they could practice being in the car together for when they were married. Her reasoning irked him but he was willing to drive her as a friend all the same even if only because he couldn't think of any good excuse for why he couldn't.

"Morning, Lucy." He greeted the girl, forcing a small smile. "You know, you're..." He paused looking down at the leather watch on his wrist. "You're three minutes later than usual." Schroeder teased knowing one of her many major pet peeves was not being 100% punctual.

"Linus got his hand stuck in the cookie jar and I had to butter it up to get him out." She explained justifying her tardiness. This made the boy chuckle, both at the picture she'd illustrated to him and at the immense guilt and displeasure in her eyes over a mere three minutes difference. Lucy had always been a major perfectionist. From being impeccably on time to every occasion to color coding, numbering, and alphabetically sorting everything she owned, Lucy had methodically organized her life to the greatest extent possible. But it wasn't only her life that was so meticulously neat and spruce as she had also always kept her appearance remarkably trim. The gentle manner in which her jet black old Hollywood waves rested on her shoulders created a graceful and luscious bounce when she walked. The cloth making up the dresses she donned hugged the curves of her upper body just the right amount while the dresses' skirts flowed elegantly just above her knees and formed a mesmerizing circle when she twirled. Accompanying whichever dress she'd decided to wear that day was always a pair of black stockings and well-shined black kitten heels adding to the sharp and clean lines of her outfit. To finish it all off, Lucy always wore winged eyeliner that was as dark as coal, as sharp as a blade, and as even on both sides as the bold red lipstick that completed her neat, sophisticated, classy yet sexy look.

She had made herself into a pin-up with a strong resemblance to Hedy Lamarr or Ava Gardner or a raven haired Rita Hayworth, the epitome of what every woman was told they should look like. The exceptional immaculacy that Lucy displayed to the world had convinced most those around her and everyone at school that everything about her, from her bold and forthright personality to her striking beauty, was simply perfect. And she had convinced herself of it as well. At least most of the time.

While the majority of Lucy's childhood friends had accepted the overly confident and bold woman that she'd grown into, Schroeder didn't buy the facade for one second. She still showed a different side of herself to him just as she had her entire life. When it was just the two of them in a room together, she was much more philosophical and contemplative but also quiet and not just because he was usually playing his piano and she didn't want to interrupt, interrupting his practice was never something she worried about. She was simply more soft-spoken. She still annoyed him plenty and there were still times when she was loud and arrogant, but they were always accompanied with a bit of whimsical innocence that she didn't allow herself to reveal to anyone else. Schroeder knew that the person she showed to everyone else wasn't who she really was, or at least it wasn't all of who she was. He believed she'd put on her mask of perfection to cover her insecurities. Sometimes Schroeder wondered if knowing this side of her was the reason he'd allowed her to remain in his company for so many years despite her frequent whining and bossiness not to mention her periodic utter rudeness.

After letting Lucy in, the two marched to the kitchen quickly falling back into their morning routine that they'd developed ever since Schroeder had begun driving her to school.

"Tea?" He questioned the girl as she sat down at the breakfast nook while pouring himself a mug of coffee. He already knew she'd say yes as she always wanted tea in the morning, but he still felt the need to make sure every time.

"Yes, with-" she begins before getting cut off.

"I know how you like it." He interrupts. Just as he knew she'd say yes but always asked to make sure, she also always reminded him of how she took her tea just in case he'd forgotten. "Here. One Earl Grey with precisely one spoonful of honey." He announced resting the steaming "#1 Beethoven Fan" mug in front of her.

"Thank you." Lucy replied politely as a slight blush creeps across her cheeks, both due to the heat rising from her drink and the fact that, as usual, Schroeder remembered how she wanted her morning tea. Most people didn't even know her well enough to know she preferred tea over coffee.

"What's your word of the day?" Schroeder asks, taking a seat beside her.

"Flotsam. An English word I discovered three years ago in the Merriam-Webster Dictionary." She explains plainly while gently blowing on her drink to cool it down.

"Define it." Schroeder orders before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Flotsam:
1 : floating wreckage of a ship or its cargo; broadly : floating debris
2 a : a floating population (as of emigrants or castaways)
b : miscellaneous or unimportant material
c : debris, remains." Lucy recites sounding as if she was reading directly from a dictionary in front of her and in a way, she was.

"Use it in a sentence." He challenges with a smirk.

"He would walk along the beach collecting the flotsam and jetsam that had been washed ashore." Her voice was confident and unwavering, without a hint of hesitation.

"One word a day is too easy for you." Schroeder shook his head still feeling a bit of disbelief over her abilities even after all these years. Lucy had been obsessed with words and language since the moment she could first hold a book. It was an obsession that went beyond a simple love of reading and writing. Lucy was capable of retaining virtually all information she read to such an extent that she could describe every event in a thousand plus page book she'd read when she was only nine. By the time she entered high school, she was beginning to use her incredible talents to absorb all the information about humanity, the world, and the universe that she possibly could.

Lucy read dictionaries and thesauruses, memorizing almost every word after a single read through, as well as translation dictionaries and language learning guides all to be able to read the scriptures of a variety of world religions, ancient and modern spanning from Christianity to Judaism to Islam to Wicca to ancient Egyptian mythology to Confucianism to Sikhism and more. Lucy read The Iliad and The Odyssey in ancient Greek and in their Latin translations. She read all the works of Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and the essays of Locke, Hobbes, and the transcendentalists. She read everything she could by Greek and Roman philosophers and as many autobiographies and memoirs from famous historical figures as she could find. She also read quite a handful of scientific studies, historic and modern even though she'd always struggled to understand any aspect of science— she simply wanted to be able to file it away in her library of a brain.

"When we're married you'll use the money you make from playing piano to buy me more books, won't you Schroeder?" Lucy asks casually while pulling out the fifth edition of The Concise Oxford English Dictionary from her school bag. Lucy read through it a few times in the past, but had decided to reread a few hundred entries of it for fun.

"Good grief." Schroeder groaned, rolling his eyes. It wasn't even 9am yet and she was already starting on her bullshit.

"We only have about 10 minutes before we have to get going, you sure you have time to get sucked into your book right now?" While his question was serious, his tone was jesting and playful but the moment he finished his sentence and Lucy's eyes darted up from her page, raising a questioning eyebrow at him, he realized the silliness of his question. "Oh, yeah." He responded to her silent reply. Of course the punctual perfectionist in front of him knew down to the second how much time they had left.

The majority of the car ride to school was spent bickering over what should be played on the radio. Lucy wanted The Beatles while Schroeder was of course in favor of hearing classical. In the end, classical won the battle when Schroeder threatened to kick her to the curb if she tried changing the channel while Beethoven was playing.

"This isn't real music! You wanna hear some real music? Put on some Beatles, Elvis, or Rolling Stones! That's the sort of music that people like, not that ol' Beethoven stuff." She yells passionately leaving Schroeder to wonder why she even still tried to get him to listen to other genres of music even after all these years of knowing him. Lucy may be the most stubborn person on the face of the Earth, but no one, not even her, could mess with Schroeder and his Beethoven.

"I can't stand it!" He snaps back harshly while turning up the music to drown out any further protests by the girl. *May 10th, 1962 strip reference*

"Well you don't have to get so worked up about it." Lucy retorts but is only met with a flurry of hushes as Schroeder was trying to hear the music. Rolling her eyes, she finally forfeits the argument and decides to try and ignore the crazed fanboy by staring out the window to distract from the music ringing in her ear. Immediately, her eyes are drawn to the blue sky and the various plants and trees they pass by during their drive. Lucy was fascinated by nature but never quite understood the science behind it. Magic, conspiracy theories, and ideas that seemed straight out of a fantasy novel seemed much more logical to her.

"It's going to rain today, Schroeder." Lucy announces keeping her eyes trained upwards towards the sky.

"Did you hear it on the radio this morning? I wish you'd told me before we left, I would've grabbed an umbrella." He replies, coming to a stop at a red light before turning his gaze to look at the girl next to him.

"Well I couldn't have told you before I examined the clouds, of course. There's a bunny shaped cloud and bunny clouds that are out before 9am mean afternoon rain." She explained matter of factly.

"Lucy, what are you on about?" Schroeder groans at the psychotic woman he'd regretfully chosen to deal with this morning. She was already pushing his buttons and they still hadn't even made it to school, but his irritation was eased slightly as he became a bit distracted by the sparkles in her eyes while she marveled at the clouds.

"I read it in a book." She claimed defensively.

"Sure." Schroeder answered, his voice laced with heavy sarcasm. He knew what it meant when she said that.

"That I wrote." She admitted unabashedly. Lucy had no doubt in her brain she had the authority opinion on everything. When she didn't understand anything science related, instead of trying to, she simply decided whatever it was could be explained by some mystical conspiracy theory like phenomenon and that anyone who believed in that "science mumbo jumbo" was the crazy one. *November 30th, 1955 & May 7th, 1962 & January 7th, 1971 strip references*

"Of course." Schroeder shook his head at her before turning to look back at the road again.

"When I was five." She ended, this time receiving a small chuckle from him.

"I'll meet you in the parking lot after school. Don't be late, I have to drop you off at home quick so I can get to practice on time." Schroeder tells Lucy as they pull into a parking space at school.

"Oh I won't, I'll come hangout with you in the auditorium again just like last year and we can walk to the car together." Lucy chimes excitedly.

"Fine, but you're not allowed to distract me again. I really need to focus!" He warns her sternly, shooting a minor glare into her eyes.

"Are you calling me distracting, baby?" She teases flirtatiously leaning close towards his face with a smile. Why does she have to be like this? He thought. He couldn't deny, she was gorgeous and on occasion, including now as he stole a glance down at the perfect sultry lips in front of him, he felt tempted to kiss the girl who constantly professed her undying love for him. Sometimes he'd humor her and flirt a little in response to her attempts to woo him, but overall, he never wanted to be with her or with anyone for that matter. He had casually fooled around with some girls in school before but Schroeder never desired to wholly date anyone in his life. He planned on remaining a bachelor forever like his idol Beethoven and didn't feel the future he dreamt of as a pianist was compatible with long term romantic partners.

"Lucy, I've had enough of you this morning. Go to class." He ordered, his tone and expression clearly displaying his exasperation both over Lucy's childish antics and his slight desire to pin her beneath him in spite of them.

"Ok, my sweet." She replies merrily before stealing a kiss upon his cheek and hopping out of the car, leaving before he could chide her.

"You blockhead!" He shouts out the window from inside his car. He catches his reflection in the overhead mirror and sees the bright red lipstick stain she'd left on his cheek. "Bloody hell." He mumbles grabbing a tissue from his glove compartment to wipe it off. Schroeder usually lost the partial British accent he'd inherited from his mom while out in public, but couldn't help letting his curse words slip no matter where he was.

Walking through the halls towards the auditorium, Schroeder somehow felt less out of place in the school than he did when he was last a student over a year ago. Back then, all he did was mope around as he was forced to go to classes where he couldn't play his piano and forced to learn about historical figures that weren't Beethoven. Most other students; except for his friends like Charlie Brown, Patty, Violet, and Lucy; tended to think he was a strange piano playing loner. There were a few who bullied him occasionally, but usually people just ignored him, further reinforcing the 'loner boy' image. Schroeder didn't mind how people saw him but it felt nice to walk down the halls of school without any unnecessary peer pressure or stress regarding homework.

"Hey Schroeder!" Linus greets the boy as he passes him in the hall.

"Hey, have fun being a sophomore." He says roughing up his friend's hair. After having spent so much time with Lucy over the years, Schroeder had grown to treat Linus like his own little brother as well and was excited to see him grow up and navigate his way through high school. "Oh and I'm always available to give you a ride to school if you miss the bus. You being there might help keep your sister off me for a few minutes." Schroeder reminds him jokingly, however the more he thought about it, the more he realized how many of his problems that had the potential to solve.

"You'll give into her buffoonery someday!" Linus shouts back walking away heading to class before Schroeder could have the chance to argue.

"No I won't... I won't let it happen." Schroeder whispered to himself.

+++

"HA! What did I tell you?!" Lucy exclaims, waving a belittling finger at the boy as they march out of the school and into the pouring rain. Instantly, their hair and clothes become soaked as they jog to the car trying their best to avoid splashing in any major puddles. Unfortunately, once they reach the vehicle and are inside and out of the rain, they realize avoiding the puddles didn't make much of a difference as they had still become drenched and were dripping all over their seats.

"This has nothing to do with a bunny shaped cloud!" Schroeder growls at her while starting the engine.

"Schroeder can't you just admit my cloud analyzing skills are perfect?" She teases while leaning towards him and amorously batting her eyes up at her love. He knew that she knew exactly what she was doing. He knew she was aware of how sexy she looked with her wet dress clinging to her silhouette. He knew she was purposely angling her cleavage into his line of sight for his attention. And he knew that she was smart enough to know that her attempts to seduce him were completely futile. What she didn't know was that despite his ability to restrain himself, she was succeeding at tempting him. She was too breathtaking and frustrating not to be tempting but he always brushed it off as natural lust for an attractive person, definitely nothing more. And certainly nothing to be acted upon.

"No, Luc. I can't." He replies staring back into her batted eyes, chuckling. "Now let's get the cloud queen home." He jokes turning back to the wheel, smirking at her rankled scrunched up nose in response to the mocking title. (A//N: The nickname 'Luc' will be pronounced like "loose").

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Chapter 1 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note):

- Lucy really does think she's perfect in every way and knowledgeable about everything.

- Lucy rejects most science especially in some of her earlier strips when Linus was just a toddler she'd take him on walks around the neighborhood and tell him all about nature using her own mystical theories. She also makes up random statistics and uses it to win arguments.

- Schroeder does secretly think Lucy is beautiful and sort've likes her however this is revealed only a select few times during the entire strip.

- Schroeder really doesn't want a relationship because he wants to model his life off Beethoven and remain a bachelor forever.

- Schroeder always always plays a toy piano in the strip and one time Charlie Brown put him in front of a grand piano and Schroeder got intimidated and cried. Schroeder can play the toy piano as if it's a grand piano, an organ, or a toy piano though (even though this isn't possible). Of course however, since everyone's aged up in this story and it's supposed to be realistic, I wanted him to mostly use a grand piano except when he's just out and about and carries around his toy piano like a safety blanket.

- In the earlier strips when Lucy was younger, she loved to read and would get super excited at all the "suspense" and the punch line of this joke was the books she was reading were made for like four year olds and were usually things like "A is for Alligator, B is for Balloon." So that's where I got the idea that she'd love reading and love learning words.

- Lucy does tend to be more contemplative around Schroeder however it mostly consists of her asking him questions that start with "what if we got married and..." 

- Lucy really did once throw Schroeder's piano down a sewer in a multi-strip gag in October 1974.

Chapter Text

The smell of smoke filled the cramped storage room that Schroeder's mentor loosely referred to as her office. Every Monday and Thursday evening of the last year, he'd practiced on the piano that sat awkwardly among dozens of cardboard boxes of miscellaneous items and endless stacks of old books of sheet music and class lesson plans. Everything was coated with a thin layer of dust except for the slightly yellowing keys of the piano and the rickety music stand that rested above the keyboard, some of the few things in the room that had been touched in the last decade. Beside the heap of decaying knickknacks was the cluttered desk of the retired professor who ran the small mentor program out of her home.

Dr. Guaraldi's gradual loss of vision that began not long after her 50th birthday and had led to her firing from her job teaching piano performance and composition some few years later, had left the elderly woman a tad bitter. She did enjoy teaching her mentees from home, observing their improvements and providing her harsh critiques while smoking a pack of Camels, but it wasn't the same as being in a classroom full of eager faces, faces she could no longer even remember the shape of.

Usually the only people that sought out her one-on-one program were at an intermediate playing level at best, quite the step down from the college students she'd taught for twenty years, but Schroeder was not merely an adequate pianist. Schroeder was better than most students she'd ever had the privilege of teaching even as a college professor. He had a natural gift like no other and teaching him was refreshing as he required little to no extensive explanations or help like the other people who'd purchased and, in her opinion, had wasted her time. She was able to be rigorous and firm and her usual disgruntled self without fear of offending the boy or pushing his limits too far. And this freedom to teach the way she wanted— the way she desperately needed after years of not being able to, also made it easier to cater to his desire to learn everything.

"Straighten your spine, Mr. Berdahl." Dr. Guaraldi instructs Schroeder and without glancing up from his sheet music of Mozart's Piano Sonata No. 11, he's quick to fix the mistake. "Good. Now, play with more enthusiasm. Play as though your soul depends on it." She adds but shoots her pupil a grimace after a moment of failing to hear the difference she'd been hoping for.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Guaraldi. I'll practice that piece more before our next session." Schroeder assures his teacher as she puts out the butt of her cigarette in the ashtray atop her desk while he begins collecting his things to leave.

"No need. You've been back to practicing all day at your old school's auditorium since Monday, yes?" She questions, crossing her arms across her chest in a commanding and slightly intimidating manner.

"Yes." Schroeder answers, nodding and anxiously averting her stern stare despite knowing she could not even see him.

"Then you've already had four days of practice to get yourself back into shape. That's more than enough." Dr. Guaraldi says somewhat brusquely. Schroeder could feel his heart's pace start to quicken as he worried about the point she was leading up to. Had his performance not improved since their previous session on Monday? He was sure it would only take a day or two of practice to be back to where he was at the end of the last school year before he had to cut back on practice in the summer. The thought that he may have disappointed the idol-like educator he respected so greatly terrified him as he was not used to failure.

"I can imagine someone like you whose fingers are practically an extension of a piano's keys only needed a few hours to get back to being the best student I've ever taught." She continues smirking at his anxiety, instantly easing the boy's worries. "However, as usual Mr. Berdahl, you are still lacking quite a bit in conveying your emotion and tone." Dr. Guaraldi adds, regressing to her regular serious countenance. Schroeder had always found it a bit ironic that he struggled to illustrate the feelings described in pieces of music when playing his piano was one of the few ways, if not the only way, he knew how to express himself. He didn't know how to speak about what he felt or how to outwardly show it most of the time either, but he could very easily play it. Instead of smiling or laughing, he preferred to play a cheery tune. Instead of dancing with his friends at their local hangout, Kirmser's, his "party" mood shown through when playing classical waltzes. And instead of crying or openly grieving, he projected his anguish through pieces of Beethoven's middle period compositions, a time when the composer suffered from a severe depression. But those were all Schroeder's own emotions which were hard enough to understand. The emotions of others were even more puzzling to him and difficult to perform.

"If you want to learn how to perform with the correct tone, you're going to have to start composing and then translate how you express your own feelings to how you express the feelings of others." Dr. Guaraldi explains, her aged voice hoarse but firm. "Compose something by our next session on Monday." She instructs and Schroeder's head shoots up from the papers and notes he'd been picking up and messily stuffing into his satchel.

"You really think I'm ready?" He hopefully asks with bright starry eyes. Creating his own compositions was all he'd ever dreamt of his entire life and now the time had finally come for him to start learning at an advanced level.

"It's the only way I can see you improving any further. You're at a very high level, Mr. Berdahl. You'll be able to go to school wherever you like after you're done with me." Dr. Guaraldi smiles warmly at her young apprentice. He really was the best student she'd ever had the honor of teaching in all her thirty plus years. When she'd been laid off ten years prior and began mentoring young pianists in her own home, she expected the only people who'd enlist her help were desperate and or untalented. But Schroeder was prodigious and took her lessons entirely to heart. He'd reminded her of just why she'd wanted to teach in the first place— to watch her learners grow, blossom, and follow their dreams.

"Do you have a specific length in mind for the piece?" Schroeder inquires, his mind already swirling with countless potential tunes and melodies all overlapping and jumbling as he tried to contain his excitement.

"No. Just create something, anything. It doesn't have to be good, we'll talk through it on Monday." The woman brushes off his question, unworried that the passionate and dedicated pupil would ever carelessly deliver on the assignment despite the minimal expectations.

"Alright, see you then! Thanks, Dr. Guaraldi." He bids her farewell before taking his exit.

During the drive from his lesson, Schroeder felt at peace. The usual rush hour traffic was already beginning to let up, his favorite classical radio station was playing Beethoven's Fidelio, Lucy wasn't there to bother him with strange "what if we got married" questions, and he was going to finally begin composing. Autumn was fast approaching in his city of St. Paul, Minnesota but you'd never be able to tell with the midsummer-like breeze that was dancing in the air as the boy cruised down the riverside city streets feeling the best he had in months. The moment felt so perfect and serene that after rolling down the window of his old and beat up Ford Falcon, Schroeder let himself fall back into the almost tangible wondrous feeling that the wind and music had invoked within him.

But of course, the moment wouldn't last for long.

Schroeder was on his way to see his best friend, Charlie Brown, at work just as he did most days after finishing his lesson or usual everyday practice. Charlie Brown had never been terribly good at anything. His grades in school were mediocre and he likely would have succeeded in getting himself accepted to a small nearby college, but his father already owned the hottest barber shop in town and the easiest route seemed to be to just follow in his footsteps. So right out of high school, he began training directly under his father and had been employed as a full-time barber for the past six months. Charlie Brown knew it was a small achievement and that he wasn't anyone particularly special, but becoming a barber was one of his proudest moments and he'd enjoyed feeling adequate at something for once in his life. It was for that reason that he took his position so seriously and rarely took the evenings off work to spend time with his friends or to relax by himself. So, for the most part, whenever someone wanted to speak with Charlie during the week, they'd visit him at work just as Schroeder often did.

Today, as Schroeder peacefully drove to the shop, he could feel the anticipation building within him to tell his friend of his start with composition and maybe even ramble on about ideas he had despite knowing Charlie would not engage with him in the piano related banter. Hardly anyone did that as no one was nearly as knowledgeable as him on the subject. Lucy occasionally made weak attempts wanting to catch his attention, but tended to give up by the time she heard a third composer's name mentioned and could no longer keep track.

Once Schroeder finally arrived, his gaze immediately fell to the closed sign inside the window. The barber pole beside the door frame wasn't lit up or spinning and there looked to be no customers inside. The boy knew something was off. It was only 6 o'clock on a Thursday and they were supposed to be open till 8 pm. They never closed for any reason other than holidays or when they went out of town and Charlie Brown would've definitely notified his friend if he was going out of town or if there had been some emergency that had made them close. Feeling confused by the sign and the absence of the usual evening rush of customers, Schroeder reaches for the door and to his surprise, finds it unlocked. Taking a cautious step inside glancing around the seemingly empty shop, he calls out to his friend.

"Charlie!?" Once the door had closed behind him, a quiet melody drifted through the door of the back room. "Charlie Brown!" Schroeder shouts marching through the shop to the door from which the music could be heard and the sounds of the radio in the small storage room quickly flooded the main area as he swung it open. "Charlie? What are you doing on the floor?" Schroeder asks, confused by the sight of his mate sitting down pathetically against shelves in the dimly lit space with a sorrowful expression across his features. "Charlie!" The boy pesters again after a moment, annoyed by his friend's failure to acknowledge his entrance.

"Shermy's dead." Charlie Brown announces bluntly, doing the best to hide the crack in his voice.

Shermy had been a member of their friend group since their gang were tots but had always been especially closer to Charlie Brown and Patty. In recent years though, he'd grown a bit apart from the bunch, not for any particular reason, just simply drifted off in the way friends occasionally do. However, no one had spoken even a word to Shermy in the last year. It wasn't that he was in favor of being drafted, but the boy hadn't desired to try and go through the exhausting process of seeking deferment by attending school when he didn't want to or taking on a job he couldn't stand. Besides, his father had served in World War II and he'd always thought his father had turned out alright. So when Shermy was drafted, he thought to himself that if his dad could handle a world war, what's the worst that could happen in Vietnam? Unfortunately, the worst did happen.

"Oh." Schroeder mutters after a moment as his shoulders sag at the news. After taking a moment to contemplate what to do next, he finally settled on taking a seat beside his friend on the floor. He wanted to say something comforting and helpful to Charlie but he didn't know what the appropriate thing to do or respond with was for the same reason he struggled to convey the correct tone when performing, he never knew how to handle the emotions of others. Schroeder felt socially oblivious even with those he was closest too. What would I want if I were in Charlie's shoes? He asked himself but "listening to Beethoven alone in his room" didn't seem like the correct answer.

"I should've been there for him more before he left, Schroeder!" Charlie Brown snaps over the sounds of the music that was still playing, turning his head to face his friend. He appeared haunted by his grief and anguish. The circles under his eyes were endless dark caverns, his hair was unkept and untamed not unlike overgrown grass fields, and his skin looked ashen and ghostly as if he had been the one who died.

"Charlie, Shermy knew you cared for him." Schroeder's voice was hesitant as he felt unsure if these were the words that needed to be heard but decided he must be on the right track as his friend's body seemed to relax a bit against the shelves.

"He's gone." Charlie whispers, struggling to fight back the tears. He sounded rough and broken, as if he’d been crying for hours and had been left with a sore throat.

"No, no!" Schroeder blurts out, grabbing his friend by the arms and forcing him to look him in the eye. "There'll be no crying in a supply closet, Charlie! Shermy was a happy man and he wouldn't want to see any tears from his friend. Got it?" He was practically shouting at his friend, desperately needing him to hear his words not just to keep his friend from breaking down, but also because he had no idea how he'd comfort his friend if he began crying. He was already clueless enough as it was.

"But—" Charlie Brown begins protesting but is immediately cut off by his friend.

"No 'buts,' Charlie Brown!" Schroeder reiterates shaking him once, hoping to get it through his head how serious he was. "C'mon, let's go have a smoke at the ball field to clear our heads." He suggests standing off the floor and yanking Charlie's sluggish arm up with him. "I'll even let you pitch to me a few times if you think that'll make you feel better. I’ll do whatever pitches you like." Despite the severe ache in his heart, Charlie couldn't ignore the effort Schroeder was putting in. He knew how uncomfortable this situation had to be making his friend feel and he appreciated just how hard he was trying in spite of that.

The short car ride was completely silent except for the quiet notes emitting from the radio. Normally, Schroeder would've found this ideal and relaxing, but at the moment, as his friend sat hunched over in the passenger seat resting his head on the dashboard, the silence made him feel desperately uncertain of what he was doing. Should I be saying something? He asked himself as he anxiously tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel.

"We're here." Schroeder states, pulling up beside the dusty ball field he and his friends had grown up playing on. Shit. What if this reminds him too much of Shermy?

"Shermy was always such a good first base player." Charlie mumbles keeping his head down in an attempt to hide the silent tears that he'd failed to keep at bay.

"This was a bloody stupid idea to bring you here wasn't it?" Schroeder groans, banging his head against his steering wheel in frustration over how confused he felt on what to do.

"No." Charlie Brown admits finally, sitting up and wiping his tears on his sleeve. "I need this." His voice came out as almost a growl before he opened the door and stepped out, his eyes immediately landing on an object resting against the wooden fence around the field.

"It is?" Schroeder asks confused but decides it didn't matter why or how this was the right thing to do. All that was important to him was making his friend feel a bit better. "Is the ball you keep by the mound here right now?" He asks, watching his friend stride towards the object.

"I'm not interested in the ball." Charlie snarls as he approaches the wooden bat before snatching it off the ground. Schroeder followed close behind his friend, confused and worried about how he may be about to take out his anger and whether or not he should try to stop him.

"Uhh where you going with that, Charlie?" Schroeder questions his voice shaky and his eyes wide. Charlie Brown didn't respond. He simply strolled over to the lone old oak tree that stood just beyond the field and swung the bat against its trunk as forcefully as his scrawny arms could. "Charlie!" Schroeder exclaimed, shocked and perplexed by the barmy thing his friend was doing but Charlie Brown continued to beat the bark. "Charlie, stop! The tree didn't kill Shermy, you blockhead." He scolds as a chunk of bark falls to the ground and a crack is heard from the bat as it slams against the tree once more.

"Well the guy who did isn't here!" Charlie shouts, turning to his friend and finally tossing the bat to the ground. His face was gravely contorted as the fury within him came bursting out. Charlie Brown was used to keeping his feelings bottled up and hidden as he knew even the group of people he called his friends rarely cared to hear about his problems. It wasn't that they didn't care about his well-being, they simply couldn't stand listening to his constant self deprecation and pity, the usual source of his issues to begin with. While he'd gotten into the habit of no one listening, this was obviously different. He needed to openly feel and grieve. He needed support and was terrified of not receiving it, even from his best friend. The pent up rage that needed to be released was pouring out now in the form of beating an innocent tree. It was a cry for help.

"Charlie." Schroeder began speaking to his hurting friend softly, being careful to hold eye contact to show he was here and could see how much he needed him. "Let's sit down and breathe, alright?" He suggests, resting his hand on his shoulder reassuringly. "C'mon mate. Take a seat and have a smoke and we can talk this out, okay?" Despite his calm and steady tone, Schroeder was still in doubt of his abilities to handle the situation and help his companion. How does one even be sensitive? He pondered as the two settled down against the tree that moments ago Charlie Brown had been assaulting.

Schroeder's quick to pull out the promised cigarettes for the two boys before lighting them up and taking a long, slow, and much needed drag as a cool, calm, subtle breeze blew gently rustling the leaves above them.

"It wasn't a soldier that killed him either, you know." Schroeder remarks after taking a moment to let his heartbeat settle and muscles relax.

"What do you mean?" Charlie Brown barks at his friend's seemingly stupid claim, his eyes darting to glare at the laid back boy beside him.

"It was the war, Charlie." He asserts, exhaling a steady puff of smoke without giving his friend even a sideways glance, knowing he'd only be met with the same rage he'd had aimed at the tree only a few minutes ago.

"Yeah. A soldier in a war killed Shermy." Charlie Brown swallowed the cry that threatened to escape as he uttered the words but failed to stop the single tear that slid down his face as he took a breath of his own smoke.

"No, Charlie. Shermy could've just as easily killed a Vietnamese soldier and that soldier could've had an upset friend beating a tree. It just happened to be the other way around this time." Schroeder elaborated waving his hand and cigarette around as he gestured to Charlie and the tree. "The soldier isn't the one to blame. Shermy's death is just another senseless act of violence at the hands of a fatuous war." He continues, his voice becoming increasingly dour and his expression quickly shifting to more serious and stony.

"Then fuck the war!" Charlie bawled, standing up and stomping his barely smoked cigarette into the ground out of anger before pacing around, needing to let out the tension building inside him again. This time however, Schroeder found himself unbothered by his friend's outburst as he agreed with the sentiment.

"Exactly. Fuck. Every. War." He spat out each word like it was dirt on his tongue. "It's 1969, you'd think humans would've evolved past things as silly as wars by now." Schroeder utters shaking his head disapprovingly at the world before bringing his cigarette back to his lips.

"What's the point of ANY war? What's so important that we should just be forced to send ourselves away to die?" Charlie Brown rhetorically asks, feeling irate as he kicks the tree in an attempt to let out the resentment inside him.

"That's just the thing, Charlie. As long as the politicians aren't the ones getting killed, they can say a war is about whatever they wanna say it's about." Schroeder broaches, leering up at his angry friend.

"Well then someone oughta get rid of them." He flares, trapping his discarded bat between his foot and the ground as the urge to use it again starts to intensify.

"Oh hush, Charlie. No need to go bashing Nixon's head in with your bat." Schroeder teases, mocking him somewhat disdainfully prompting Charlie to kick his bat away.

"Oh yeah? And why shouldn't we?" He asks, quickly spinning around to face the boy who appeared much more at ease than he was not long ago as he watched the sun setting on the horizon with a cigarette pressed between his lips.

"Because someday, you and everyone else will be one of them, Charlie." Schroeder reveals, much more austerely than he intended. However, he was speaking the truth.

"What do you mean? I'm never gonna be a politician!" Charlie Brown exclaims, both confused and slightly offended but a bit less tense as his focus was now on Schroeder's strange words instead of his friend's death.

"Not a politician, an old twat." The boy begins feeling himself about to overflow with frustration he didn't even realize he had. "This war will end eventually and then there'll be another war, and another and another. And someday, you and everyone else will be the ones yelling at the youth complaining about how they're all 'dirty hippies' or 'deranged queer' or 'Russian commies' and how the men are all too pussy to go to a war that we ourselves don't even understand the meaning of. This is just the way things go. No amount of dead politicians is gonna end human idiocy and hypocrisy. So don't go getting your panties in a bunch over something that's out of your control." Schroeder pauses while taking another drag of his cigarette to give his pal a moment to mull over his words before continuing. "They'll probably even give us some stupid nickname, yeah what is it they're calling our generation?" He asks, shifting his tone to something lighthearted but deeply pained, almost humorously grudging.

"Baby boomers." Charlie quietly answers, avoiding Schroeder's gaze as he processes his friend's brutally honest words.

"Yeahhh! We'll be all grey and wrinkly and the kids will laugh and call us something wickedly brainless like 'boomer babies.'" Schroeder jokes, laughing at the illustration in his head before falling silent. After a minute of feeling the wave of the harsh reality of the world, Charlie Brown finally decided to sit back down beside his friend and light another cigarette. Schroeder was right, humans were stupid and the world was cruel. History would repeat itself and his dead friend would be forgotten as just another tragic casualty of a meaningless war.

"You said 'you and everyone else,' so what will you be doing?" Charlie asks after unwinding with his smoke for a few minutes. Schroeder didn't realize it, but reminding his friend of how sucky the world really was and that fact that there was nothing they could do about it and giving him a couple of cancer sticks happened to be just the thing Charlie Brown needed to finally breathe for the first time in hours.

"Same thing I'm always doing: hiding away in my corner of the world with my piano and Beethoven statues." Schroeder's voice had not a single hint of exaggeration or playfulness, but the idea still seemed silly and absurd to Charlie Brown and everyone else he knew.

"So you're serious about that ‘staying single for life like Beethoven’ crap aren't you? You're never going to survive on that 'look don't touch' code of honor." Charlie mocks while shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Girls are fun to look at and touch but I don't feel romantic attraction to anyone." He replies, taking an inhale of his light to push away the slight tightening of his stomach that was forming as the words fell out of his mouth— a tightening that only seemed to happen when he uttered a lie, even to himself. Schroeder was a bad liar and Charlie Brown could usually detect when his friend wasn't being entirely truthful with him, including on this occasion, but decided now was not the time to pester him about it.

"Schroeder, I admire you." Charlie Brown declares, putting out his cigarette in the dirt beside him.

"Well it's about time someone did." Schroeder says sarcastically, not bothering to ask what he meant or where he was going with this knowing Charlie would explain anyway.

"You just accept the world as it is and move on with your piano and Beethoven without a care in the world." He explains, throwing up his arms gesturing to the Earth while allowing his body to slump against the ground as if deciding to admit defeat in life after their previous conversation.

"No, no, no, NO!" Schroeder rebuffs, shaking his head furiously feeling almost insulted by the comment. "You've got it all wrong, Charlie. I don't 'just accept it.'" He begins, using air quotes and speaking exaggeratedly while reciting his friend's seemingly ridiculous words. "I'm running from it. I use the piano to transport myself to other worlds, far away from this shitty one." Schroeder elucidates. The mistake was small and he realized it didn't make much of a difference how Charlie interpreted his life, but it was important to him that he correct his pal or anyone else on a matter that he was so passionate about. Perhaps even the only matter he was passionate about at all. Music, to him, was the way that he interacted with the world, not an accessory to his life.

"Schroeder, did you get high before you came to the shop again?" Charlie asks, teasing Schroeder for the whimsical description.

"I wish. I've been far too sober for this conversation. Speaking of which, I know what'll cheer you up." Schroeder starts, pushing himself off the dirt. "Let's get everyone together at Kirmser's tomorrow night and get utterly blasted." He suggests attempting to fabricate enthusiasm, unintentionally slipping into his British accent.

"But you hate being around people." Charlie Brown reminds, raising an eyebrow surprised that this idea was coming from his best friend.

"True, but Shermy deserves a fun night of booze and weed for a send off." Schroeder says, extending his hand for Charlie to help him stand. "And everyone he left behind in the shitty world of the living deserves it too."

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Chapter 2 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note):

- Shermy was one of the three original characters in the strip besides Charlie Brown and Patty however as others characters were introduced, his appearances became sparse over the two decades following the original premiere of the strip in October, 1950. His final appearance came in 1969 and honestly, despite him being an unpopular and, by that point, practically unknown character, I found it sad that he was phased out so early in the strip as I adored the adorable early strips of the early 1950's in which he appeared frequently. However, I also didn't want him to be a major character in my story especially since I wanted so many other Peanuts characters to be present. There simply wasn't room for him in my story but I decided to pay tribute to him by acknowledging his departure from the Peanuts character's lives in 1969, the same year in which my story is set. 

- Schroeder was never given a last name in the strip and it was actually unknown if 'Schroeder' was his first or last name especially since Charles M. Schulz named him after a caddie he used to know back in his home town of St. Paul, Minnesota (which is also referenced in this chapter) whose last name was Schroeder and Schulz never learned his first in the time he knew the boy. But, I wanted to give Schroeder a last name and I didn't want it to be Schroeder because I liked the idea of using Schroeder to give him a more "unusual" first name. 'Halverson' was my first idea as a last name as Halverson was both Schulz’s mother's and first wife's maiden name (no relation). However, I decided I didn't like the sound of 'Schroeder Halverson' but thought it would be a good idea to pick a Norwegian last name that starts with the letter 'B' because Schulz heavily identified with his mother's Norwegian heritage and also found words that started with 'B' to be funny. It's the reason why he made Schroeder's favorite composer/pianist Beethoven and why he used words like "blockhead" regularly throughout the strip. That's when I found 'Berdahl' and decided I liked how 'Schroeder Berdahl' sounded. 

- Not only was it known in the strip that Charlie Brown's father owned a barber shop, but Schulz’s father had also owned one and that detail was based on his own life.

- If you know even a little bit about Peanuts, you probably know how much they all play baseball (Charlie Brown is a pitcher and Schroeder is a catcher) and how much Charlie Brown especially enjoys it despite being a lousy player and team manager. Charlie Brown also regularly asked Schroeder to let him do a bunch of different elaborate pitches and was regularly turned down by his friend so when Schroeder offers to allow Charlie Brown to do "whatever pitches he like" that's what that's referencing. Also, it's true that Shermy played first base in the strip.

- There's a few other references made in the chapter that I can't really go into detail about without spoiling things. 

- Edit 3/13/26: Rover P5 has been changed to Ford Falcon to reference the Ford commercial the tv Peanuts characters made their television debut in in 1962.

Chapter Text

(A//N: While reading this chapter, you should be aware that this story is set in 1969 when the drinking age was only 18 and also Peppermint Patty and Patty are two different people. Peppermint Patty will sometimes be referred to as Peppermint but only Patty will be called just Patty.

Enjoy!)

"Why does Lucy get shotgun?" Violet whines from the cramped backseat where she was struggling to find an escape from Pig-Pen's odor as he and herself were squeezed between Patty and Frieda.

"Because I'm the prettiest." Lucy declares, proudly flashing her smile and dramatically tossing her hair over her shoulder..

"Violet, I'll trade seats with you if you like! I don't mind sitting next to Pig-Pen." Patty proposes with feigned generosity as she secretly wanted to sit beside him.

"Ugh, Patty! I will NOT sit back here while you flirt with him." Violet grouses while attempting to scrub her brain of the image of her friend cozying up to the walking dust pile.

"At least you guys don't have to deal with his coat of dirt ruining your naturally curly hair!" Frieda fusses and it was at this point that the driver groaned and began questioning why he had agreed to drive anyone in the first place.

"Knock it off! If you didn't want to be in my car, you could've ridden with Charlie Brown." Schroeder smirks, satisfied as the bunch collectively cries out in revulsion at the idea of riding with their wishy-washy friend. "And Lucy only got shotgun because I was already driving her from school so she was in the car first." He adds and the angry girl beside him replies with a pout. "Augh, but I guess I probably would've let you have shotgun anyway, ONLY because I'm already used to having you in my car." Schroeder admits. He wasn’t in the mood to have her upset and crabby with him. Instantly, her smile is beaming up at him again before she whips around to boastfully stick her tongue out at the backseat crew behind them.

"So then who is riding with Charlie Brown?" Pig-Pen asks while still trying to adjust himself into a less awkward position between Frieda and Violet.

"Franklin, Marcie, Peppermint, Linus, and Sally." Seizing the opportunity to speak with her crush, Patty answers before Schroeder gets the chance. The two quickly become engrossed in conversation with one another leaving Violet to sulk at the lack of personal space and Frieda to fret over her sullying curls.

"What time does your father want you home by tonight?" Schroeder lowers his voice to direct his question at Lucy.

"He didn't give an exact time, I’ll be 18 soon enough and he trusts you to look after me anyway." She replies without removing her gaze from the mesmerizing oranges and pinks painted across the sky, forming the sunset. Schroeder had known her since she was born and had been driving her to and from school and to all of their friend group's hangouts for the past few years, yet he still found himself a little surprised by Lucy's words as he'd never stopped to consider that her father may trust him above others. If anything, Schroeder had assumed Mr. and Mrs. van Pelt were especially wary of him as it was no secret to anyone, even her parents, that Lucy was infatuated with him.

"Alright, then I guess I'll have to be the one to say it: 'you better be on your best behavior tonight, young lady.'" Schroeder jokes, shooting her a playful smile. Lucy pulls her stare away from the sunset and turns to ogle at the boy with the same love struck eyes she'd been looking at him with all her life.

"And what are you going to do if I don't behave?" Her alluring voice questions just above a whisper. Lucy bites her lower lip teasingly and her mouth quirks into a smirk as she observes the way her suggestive actions affect him. The way his bright eyes swiftly darken, the way he swallows as his throat abruptly goes dry, and the way he struggles to pull his eyes away from her cerise colored lips back to the road. She hadn't managed to seduce him yet but Lucy knew she'd won this round and sat back against her seat feeling satisfied with herself. One day, you'll find yourself unable to resist me, Schroeder. The girl thinks, suddenly feeling extra excited to spend the evening with him.

The gang was on their way to their local hangout spot, Kirmser's, one of the area's best kept secrets as it sat underground beneath a boutique and the only entrance was a door on the side of the building in a narrow alleyway which led to a steep staircase descending to the entrance. You'd never know to walk off the sidewalk and turn into the dark unlit pathway between the 24-hour breakfast diner and clothes store unless you’d been invited. It wasn't a secret many patrons advertised to the general public either. The main crowd in attendance were bohemians, beatniks, and other assorted outsiders who weren't keen to share this secluded paradise of freedom and acceptance with "normal" people who'd just crash in on their fun. Schroeder, Lucy, and their friends didn't quite fall into the categories of hippie or complete outsider, but they were all a bit lost in the world and viewed Kirmser's as a nice escape from the bizarre society they were coming of age in.

"Ok, we're here. Everyone get out and I'll go park around the corner." Schroeder instructs his passengers.

"Ugh finally." Violet exclaims disgusted while climbing out of the car, vigorously trying to brush off any dirt that Pig-Pen had rubbed onto her. After the back seat had emptied, Lucy remained in her seat, completely quiet almost as if she believed she could stay silent enough for Schroeder not to notice her presence.

"You too, Luc." He nods at the door to her.

"But I wanna-" She starts in the usual whiny tone she used when fussing for things she wanted but Schroeder was not having it. He'd known her long enough to be able to easily ignore her fussing and begging and knew she responded well to firm orders that didn't leave any room for discussion or negotiation. If Lucy sensed there was some way to get what she wanted, she would.

"Out. Now, Luc." He interrupts without hesitation and sends her a serious leer.

"Fine." She huffs crabbily, rolling her eyes before climbing out of the car onto the sidewalk. Schroeder let out a sigh of relief as he pulls away to park around the block and Charlie Brown drives up in his place to let out his own vehicle of passengers. He'd managed to survive driving a car full of imbeciles without any damage to him or his car except for the bit of dirt Pig-Pen had left in the backseat.

"Hey, Schroeder!" Charlie Brown calls out to him from his car. Sticking his head out the window and looking back, Schroeder could see his friend had pulled up behind him as he approached the small and torn up parking alley that was squeezed between two buildings a street way from Kirmser's.

"You reckon we'll ever find a spot?" Schroeder quips, yelling back to his friend. The sun was now completely set but the lot still glowed from the Edison bulb lights that were strung about. The lot was always jammed full of psychedelically painted Volkswagen vans that seemed to tower above and outshine the small number of stodgy cars that were peppered around. Among the vans, were the occasional bunch of tripped out pals who were trying to calm their minds before returning to the bar. Several vans had music piping out the voices of Ron Dante, Mick Jagger, Tommy James, Marvin Gaye, and Jim Morrison and several others had their doors open, welcoming any and all who walked by to join in on their party of free love and acceptance. The place felt alive, as if it had a heartbeat that was fueled by the spirited atmosphere that pulsated and danced around.

Schroeder smiles to himself when he spots a small opening between two vans. It was going to be a tight fit, but he knew he could make it work as long as he remained focused which is why he decided to ignore the curious pretty face poking her head out the window of one of the vans he was wedging himself between.

"Hey there, you coming to join us?" The singsong voice calls out to Schroeder, peering down into his car from her elevated view.

"Maybe some other time, darling." He keeps his eyes trained on the parking spot he was trying to wiggle into, not wanting to get distracted.

"Are you sure you don't wanna come join us, handsome?" She asks again sounding extra flirty, peaking Schroeder's interest and leading him to finally glance up at her. The flower crowned, freckled, and somewhat sunburnt beauty giggled at the way his jaw dropped for a moment at the sight of her long and straight strawberry blonde hair barely covering her topless chest. His short glance quickly turned into a full on stare and he couldn't help but stop his car in place to allow himself a moment to view.

"You sure make it look tempting." He answers, smiling at the shameless woman looking down at him before pushing on the gas to finally bring his car into its spot. "But unfortunately, I gotta go meet up with my friends." He steps out of his car and tilts his head up to watch her reaction.

"Promise you'll come join us sometime?" She flirtatiously bites her lip while pushing her hair to the side to expose her chest for him, receiving a chuckle and approving smile as the boy watched.

"As long as you're still looking like this when I do." He takes a step closer and looks up to her eyes, pondering over what he wanted to do next. But before either of them could proceed any further, they were interrupted.

"Schroeder!" Charlie Brown exclaims in shock at that crude scene in front of him and the pair instantly whips their heads toward him in surprise, feeling a bit sheepish that they'd been seen. Schroeder had almost forgotten where he was or that he'd been waiting for his friend to find a parking spot as well.

"Well, I think that's my cue." Schroeder chuckles, glancing back up at the woman.

"See you later." The girl winks teasingly before disappearing back inside her van.

"You were alone for less than five minutes!" Charlie Brown comments almost disbelievingly as his friend approaches, appearing as though he were trying to hold back a laugh.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault. She came onto me!" Charlie rolls his eyes with a sigh, a bit stunned by his friend’s actions but also quite amused. "But sorry, mate. Let's go catch up with the rest now. Hopefully they had enough brain cells amongst themselves to get a big enough table for our bunch." Schroeder scoffs, thinking about his friends and brushing off the encounter with the stranger as the two boys begin the short trek back across the street to the bar.

"Well what do you know, they scored us a halfway decent booth and an only partially broken table!" Schroeder states sarcastically over the blasting music to his friend once he spots their group across the bar from the entrance. The room was crowded but not much worse than any other Friday at Kirmser's and to the boys' surprise, the ever present cloud of smoke from various cigarettes around the room was actually a tad less dense than the norm, making the room feel cooler and a little more open. Still, the smoke accompanied by the harsh color changing lights, crowd of dancers, and lounging groups was enough to make anyone feel sweat start to bead on their forehead and neck the moment they entered. Charlie Brown and Schroeder wasted no time removing their jackets and hanging them up before wiggling through the crowd to meet their friends.

"Hey, Chuck's here!" Peppermint Patty announces, abandoning her game of wall darts to rush over to the approaching boys.

"And Schroeder!" Lucy chimes before reaching out to snatch up his arm and pull him into the booth beside her. "Now, we all can get drinks!" She cheers and the faces of everyone in the group, except for Sally and Linus who were hanging out beside themselves in the corner as they were too young to engage in most of the fun activities with their friends, suddenly brightened as they rallied together in excitement. Tonight, they all were going to drink until they couldn't even remember why they decided to in the first place. They were going to drink until they forgot Shermy's name.

"They're not gonna serve you anything, little miss." Schroeder reminds, waving his finger disapprovingly at the girl who'd dragged him into the seat while detaching her hand from his arm. "They might let you in since you're with us but they're still not gonna serve you. You're not 18 yet."

"Yes they will!" She counters, pulling a face, offended by the remark.

"Why's that?" He asks, holding back his smirk as he waited for a response, feeling certain that he knew the girl well enough to guess she was going to bring up how her looks could get her whatever she wanted.

"All it'll take is a bat of my eyelashes and pout of my lips and they'll pour me whatever I ask." Schroeder immediately bursts out a laugh, unable to control himself.

"You sound pretty sure of yourself, Luc." He mocks, trying to contain his snickers at her arrogant-level confidence, knowing the bartenders here gave NO ONE special treatment. They were too desperate to keep their services as legal as possible knowing one wrong step and the police would have them shut down as they were already unpopular with them, being mostly overrun with "anti-establishment sinners" and all.

"I am! After all, my beauty and wiles work on you." She slyly mentions with a smug grin and the boy turns away quickly trying to hide the blush creeping upon his cheeks. "HA! You're blushing!" She taunts him.

"Just go get your bloody drink, Luc." He shrugs her off before stepping out of the booth closely followed behind by her. By the time the two approach the bar, splitting up to hail down separate bartenders, the rest of their gang had received their drinks and were returning back to their tables except for Frieda who Schroeder did his best to avoid while patiently waiting behind other eager customers to place his order.

"Piano boy!" Frieda hollers for his attention, making him wince at the loud shriek and the several sets of strangers' curious and annoyed eyes that fell on him as a result.

"Hi, Frieda." Schroeder mumbles avoiding eye contact and clenching his jaw as she bounces excitedly next to him. Frieda and him had never interacted much on their own, but when they did, she was even more incessant with her bids at flirting with him than Lucy. And unlike Lucy who was usually rude simply out of ignorance of social conventions or because of her genuine belief that she really was perfect in almost every way, Frieda was simply often intentionally a bully to most, especially to Schroeder's best friend, Charlie Brown.

"Did you notice I did my hair for you tonight, Schroeder?" She twirls a curl around her finger while fluttering her eyelashes up at the boy.

"I thought you said Pig-Pen was ruining your hair." He's quick to reply without sparing her eyes or her "naturally curly hair" even a glance.

"He did a little but I still have the prettiest hair in the room, don't you think?" She asks and finally Schroeder turns to look at her. There was nothing pretty about her. Her curls were luscious, her smile bright, her skin soft, but it all was tainted by the aura of complete self-importance and insolence.

"What are you doing here, Frieda?" Lucy's cool and collected voice rolls in from behind Schroeder, catching the pair's attention.

"Maybe I just like talking to piano boy here." Frieda sasses back winking at him. Schroeder's eyes quickly dart between the two girls before settling on Lucy's wavering polite smile, feeling himself tense up as he worried about what she might do to the curly red-head who, in her mind, was trying to snatch her man. But to his surprise, a moment later, Lucy appears to compose herself completely and the fists she'd been clenching at her side quickly relax before she speaks again.

"Well alright then." She says calmly. Her warm demeanor was off-putting to Schroeder as it seemed so out of character. Surely she'd try and claw Frieda's eyes out any second now.

"What can I get you to drink?" The bartender asks the boy, pulling his concentration away from the two girls. He'd known exactly what he was getting even before he'd gotten into the car to drive to Kirmser's as he almost always had the same drink, yet he still couldn't beat Lucy's quick response.

"He'll have a Scotch, neat." She states matter of factly drawing the surprised eyes of both Frieda and Schroeder.

"Yeah, th-that's it." He confirms before staring down curiously taken aback by the girl. "How did yo-"

"You know how I take my tea, I know how you take your liquor." She whispers, giving him a sweet and sincere smile, a rare expression from her that was rewarded with a grin and twinkle in his eye. Whether he was willing to admit it to himself or not, Lucy likely knew him better than anyone just like he knew her better than anyone too. He knew he was the only one who could see through her curated 'perfect' and confident exterior.

"Wow! Could you teach me other things about him?" Frieda booms beside the two, pulling them out of their brief but intimate moment.

"Hmm. Well, Frieda." Lucy starts, sounding as if she was about to begin a lesson on etiquette and manners that needed to be followed in order to interact with Schroeder. "Do you like Beethoven?" She asks curiously.

"What?" Frieda's expression screws up into one of confusion and slight disgust.

"If you're going to hang around Schroeder, you've got to like Beethoven." Lucy explains casually, masking the anticipation for what she guessed was going to be the girl's next response.

"Well, alright. But I'll just have a small glass." Schroeder chokes on his Scotch before spinning his head to look at the curly haired monster who'd just uttered such offensive words. *January 18th, 1970 strip reference*

"Frieda, your hair looks ugly." He growls and the girl's eyes shoot up from her nails that she'd been peering at and straight to Schroeder's enraged face. She storms off scoffing without hesitation, feeling starkly insulted by his affront. "Cunt." Schroeder mumbles before taking another swallow from his drink and glances down at Lucy who was failing terribly at stifling her victorious smile. "You rather enjoyed that, didn't you?" The boy chuckles as she finally allows her giddy laugh to spill out.

"Maybe." She admits shamelessly, smiling to herself with pride and satisfaction.

"So where's that drink you said you were off to get?" He mocks and her expression of dignity is quickly replaced by one of embarrassment and irritation. "Oh no, was your pretty face not enough to charm the bartender?" Schroeder goads, tauntingly leaning down to try and see the chagrin in her eyes, however, he's only met with happy hopeful ones after he's said his words.

"Are you calling me pretty, Schroeder?" She smirks while getting up close to his face and he rolls his eyes, looking away to stop himself from staring at her for too long and boosting her ego even more.

"I'll buy you a drink if you admit that your looks weren't enough to get you one." He challenges, finishing off his drink and waving the bartender over for another.

"Aughhh." She groans, averting his gaze before mumbling her admission.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you." Schroeder chaffs, somewhat wanting to see her have one of her usual crabby outbursts.

"I couldn't get the drink!" She snaps furiously, stomping her foot and balling up her hands into fists like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Can I get refill on my Scotch, neat, and also a Tom Collins?" He asks with a polite smile, turning away from Lucy to the bartender.

"But I didn't even tell you what I wanted." Lucy whines, smacking his arm in annoyance.

"Trust me, Luc. You're gonna like this." He reassures her before taking the drink from the bartender and carrying it back to their booth. When they finally arrive back, their previous seats at the table had been snatched by Marcie and Peppermint Patty so the two opted to stand a bit away, trying their best not to run into dancers or other people walking around. "Here, taste it." He instructs loudly, trying to speak over the music and hands her the drink.

"Ooh it has a cherry!" She exclaims excited before taking a sip. With the first taste, her eyes immediately go wide and shoot up to Schroeder in approval and she finds herself taking a bigger sip than she planned.

"Ya like?" He asks, laughing at her blissful smile and taking a drink of his own glass as she nods approvingly.

"Lucy, Schroeder!" A voice suddenly calls them and the two turn to see Franklin yelling from their booths as the rest of the gang gets up from their seats. "We're all gonna play pool in the back, come join!" They pass through the throngs of dancers to join in with the group and follow them towards the back room that contained pool tables, dart boards, pin-ball machines, and other assorted games. As usual, the room was packed full of people shoulder-to-shoulder like a sweaty can of sardines, chatting and laughing in what felt a world away from the dance floor, music, and bustling lounge areas of the main room. Smoke didn't only fill the air, it was the air— twice as thick of a cloud than at the bar and the temperature of the room, twice as hot with the low hanging ceiling lights beating down on the smoking, packed-in partiers. However, unlike the livelier space outside, the smell of cannabis was also ever prevalent and there was the occasional rando in the corner on the verge of needing to head to the parking lot to calm down from their acid trip.

"Charlie, wanna light up while we're in here?" Schroeder yells, peaking around to see the front of the train of their friends that were inching through the room to a partially open space.

"Sure!" He calls back and Schroeder takes out a cigarette for himself before tossing his pack and lighter up to Charlie Brown.

"Can I have one?" Lucy boldly asks, curiously eyeing the stick between his fingers.

"What for? I'm not giving you one just so you can try and impress me. That's not the way to do it." He informs her dismissively but she immediately protests.

"No, I'm not doing it for you! In fact, I've had them before at sleepovers with Patty and Violet. It just seems relaxing right now, that's all." Lucy explains and Schroeder mulls it over for a moment, watching the girl carefully as she folds her arms and ducks her face from his gaze, appearing almost shy. The sight made him chuckle. Little miss perfect was embarrassed to admit she wasn’t so perfect.

"Alright. Here." He agrees, finally pulling one out for her. "But I better not catch you throwing any of it away just because you don't like it or I'll never waste one on you again." He mentions firmly while lighting her stick.

Her ruby lips puckered around the tip of the cigarette that sat delicately between her fingers as she inhaled a puff of smoke and leaned back against the wall. Her hair was beginning to frizz up as a result of the humidity of the room and she was sure she already looked a bit of a mess, but she didn't care. She was letting her worries about that and the knowledge that she'd soon begin sweating so much that her black dress would stick to her back drift away so that she could relax in a little corner of the world without worrying about being perfect for a moment.

As she let out the breath of smoke, Schroeder watched her closely, finding himself a bit dazed. Not because the dense fumes surrounding him were clouding his brain or because he was already two scotches into the night, although those things certainly didn't help, but because as Lucy allowed herself to loosen up and be a bit of a frazzled mess to drop the facade of perfection that she constantly donned for a moment, relaxing her muscles and releasing the tension from her body as she dragged on her camel, she looked nothing short of breathtaking to the boy beside her who couldn’t help staring back completely and utterly captivated.

"What is it?" She asks, raising an eyebrow at the unidentifiable look with which he was gazing at her. Have I smudged my lipstick? She hadn’t, but she definitely no longer looked put together which Schroeder found himself quite enchanted by as his eyes continued to roam her face and body in spite of his better judgment. As his throat went dry and he failed to muster up any words in response, all he could think about was how perfectly imperfect the woman looked when she allowed herself to relax and stop worrying about impressing anyone, especially him.

"Umm-" He attempts to speak but is quickly cut off.

"Charlie Brown!" A man hollers entering the already overcrowded room with a small band of friends following close behind. "Glad to see you finally showed up for our match of pool." The boy sneers as he approaches the gang and their spot next to the pool table that they'd reserved.

"Actually, we've been standing here waiting for you to show up. You said you wanted to meet us in here for a game like ten minutes ago." Charlie Brown spoke, both confused and annoyed. Did this asshole really have to do this on the night they were trying to drown their grief over Shermy in alcohol?

Thibult glares at Charlie Brown before turning to the table. "8 Ball. 5 against 5. Two racks of billiards. You guys on?" He challenges leaning his palms on the table and staring at the group menacingly.

"You're on!" The competitive Peppermint Patty accepts before anyone else gets the chance to respond, snatching Thibult’s hand to shake it. "C'mon, Marcie. You too Chuck! Who else?" Her voice was booming with enthusiasm like that of an excitable game show host.

"I'm in." Lucy says, waving the hand that held her cigarette and nodding her head towards the table in agreement.

"Me too." Schroeder quickly adds, brushing off his curiosity about why he'd so quickly decided to join Lucy.

"Alright, we've got our team!" Peppermint Patty announces and Sally, Violet, Patty, Frieda and Pig-Pen turn to leave the room not wanting to be stuck in such an unnecessarily crowded space if they weren't going to play while Linus and Franklin stay back curious to see how things play out.

“What if we added a wager?” One of the members of the opposing team, Theo, suggests with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

“No.” Schroeder interjects immediately. He had no trust for the gang that had regularly bullied their group in the past. He felt certain that they had some shady trick up their sleeves and even if they didn’t, he couldn’t believe they’d ever be skillful or lucky enough to win. They weren’t exactly the most collaborative or most strategic bunch… or the most intelligent.

“Whoever wins picks up the other team’s tab for the night?” Peppermint Patty proposes without hesitation and the opposition cheers in agreement leaving Schroeder to facepalm.

Palpable tension further thickened the smokey air the moment Charlie Brown smacked the tip of his cue stick against the white ball, scattering them across the green felt table. He tries for a striped ball in a side pocket and misses, switching the turns to the other team, allowing Thibult to score an impressive three solids before Peppermint Patty manages to sink two stripes. Then a boy beside Thibult eyes the position of the billiards carefully in preparation for his strike. Following his single failed shot, Marcie is up and approaches the table shakily.

"C'mon baby, you can do it!" Peppermint Patty smacks the table and shoots her girlfriend a motivating smile to ease her nerves.

"U-uh I'll try, sir." With the encouragement of Peppermint Patty beside her, Marcie scores a clear shot and their group responds with an encouraging applause.

“Maybe you should take a page outta their book and 'motivate' your girl too." Franklin nudges Schroeder and nods in Lucy's direction. He rolls his eyes, turning away chuckling but finds himself considering the merit of the suggestion. Maybe she would do a bit better if I motivated her.

Marcie misses her next shot and the following player from Thibult’s team is Theo who steps up to the table exuding heaps of confidence from his smug grin.

One ball…
Two balls..
Three balls.
Four, five, six….

His aim refuses to miss and his opponents watch the spectacle wide-eyed and utterly stunned as he nears the end of the remaining solid billiards. It isn’t until he begins lining up his shot for the final remaining solid that their own anxiety over their impending loss pulls them out of the trance they’d been placed under by his perfect hits.

But, by chance, the crowdedness of the room ends up forcing a woman to be pushed into Theo just as he goes to shoot, throwing off his aim for the first time in the game. Charlie Brown’s team lets out a momentary sigh of relief before inhaling another breath of fear as it was now Lucy’s turn. She’d never been a strong player and the odds were stacked against her as she noticed everyone’s eyes fall to her. She had about zero chance of landing every single one of the remaining eleven striped balls plus the black 8 ball during her turn which would be needed to beat the game before Thibult’s team had the chance to knock in their final solid and 8 ball shots.

“We’re screwed..” Charlie Brown whines but Lucy appears unfazed as she closely examines the table in front of her.

“Hey Charlie Brown, what will you give me if I score every last one of these?” Lucy poses curiously.

“All of them? Are you out of your bloody mind Luc? You’ve never scored two in a row in your life!” Schroeder scoffs in amusement, struggling to hold back his laughter at her preposterous question.

“If I get them all, will you give me a kiss?” Her claret lips twist into a beguiling smile as she turns to him and Schroeder takes a step closer, leaning down to her eye level. His cold, ashy, sapphires pierce through Lucy as he lowers his voice, still loud enough for the rest of their teammates to hear, and addresses her with a grievous tone and face.

“If you win this game, I’ll give you the biggest kiss you’ve ever had.” A flame ignites in Lucy’s charcoal eyes at the challenge. She wasn’t a total fool. She knew he didn’t believe in her abilities, but it didn’t matter— she knew she was capable of anything she put her mind to and right now, Schroeder had provided her with just the incentive she needed.

“She's as terrible as Charlie, she’ll never get it.” Schroeder whispers to Franklin beside him, chuckling and Franklin rolls his eyes not because he agreed with his friend that Lucy was as incapable as he believed, but because he found it amusing that he was easily observing the romantic dynamic between the pair that Schroeder had yet to discern.

The group begins motivating Lucy by applauding in sync as she lines up her first shot towards a corner pocket. She’d prepped her cue stick by rubbing blue chalk at the end, confidently pretending to know what she was doing, and was ready to show up Thibult and his gang with skills she was going to will herself to miraculously manifest.

The first shot makes it, eliciting a brief cheer from her team and she quickly moves to the next ball, taking less than a moment to aim. She scores again, a miracle in her team's eyes as she’s never managed two shots in a row in any game they’d ever played at Kirmser’s. But after her third point, it became instantly clear that she was on a roll.

Four..
Five..
Six..
Seven..

Both teams hold their breath as Lucy gracefully knocks ball after ball into the hole. Like some sort’ve magic trick, it appeared as unbelievable as an illusion and everyone’s hearts began racing against the beat of their clapping when Lucy eyed the final ball to win the game. It’s a tough shot but after proving to herself that she was capable of anything, she doesn’t question whether or not she’s able to land the point. The rest of the team, however, is not as calm and assured as they were used to bad luck and undeserving losses, both when playing baseball or pool, and in life itself.

But Lucy was determined to turn that around for once and the sound of plastic clacking in the pocket, indicating the point had been made, sent the team wild.

“SHE DID IT! SHE WON THE GAME AND YOU PROMISED TO KISS HER!” Charlie Brown exclaims, unable to contain his elation over Lucy’s knockout victory. Everyone except for Schroeder begins cheering and teasing Thibult’s squad wanting more than anything to see their opposition be the ones with the solemn expressions for once. Though in the midst of their celebration, as Lucy locks eyes with Schroeder giving a look as if to ask “are you ready,” he stands frozen as he realizes what his friend’s win meant for him. Shit… His mind repeats over and over as she proudly approaches to receive her prize.

“A promise is a promise…” He admits after a moment with a pained expression which contrasted to her delighted one. Lucy was the absolute worst when it came to understanding and perceiving the emotions of others, but her vulnerability when it came to showing affection, especially to Schroeder, allowed her to see clear-as-day that this was not something he at all desired with her.

“Forget it.” She interrupts him as he goes to lean towards her, pressing a finger to his lips and effectively halting his movement. Lucy was never going to give up in her quest to win over his love, but she also was never going to force him into anything and his unwillingness to be intimate with her on any level had temporarily wounded her egotistical spirit, even if she wasn’t willing to admit it. Lucy needed a break. “If that’s the only way you’ll kiss me, forget it!” Everyone else is still too preoccupied with reveling in their triumph to notice an obviously crabby Lucy storming off from the group. Schroeder hadn’t wanted to hurt her but he also admired her dignity, one of the few qualities of hers that he properly appreciated. And it was a fierce dignity that she glowed with as she marched away from him: her steps, purposeful; her curly waves, bouncy; her dress, swaying; her strut, commandeering. An enthralling sight that begins to inspire a tune of strong incensed poise, a boom that calls to be noticed and respected for its power. It is at this moment that Schroeder begins to hear the composition that Dr. Guaraldi had requested of him.

Lucy turns the corner out of sight, but far from out of Schroeder’s mind, leaving him with the clear impression of a sound. A sound that his fingers unwittingly begin to dance to at his sides, desperate to press the keys of a piano to capture the fiery grace that she’d exuded with every step she’d taken away from him. *March 15th-18th 1972 plotline (color version)

+++

A while later, Schroeder’s social battery had officially dropped from its usual low, to somewhere far in the negatives. He was proud of the couple of hours he’d managed with his friends in the bar and dance area but he’d spent the last half hour relaxing in the back room with Linus and sobering himself up with water that he’d asked Violet to bring to him.

“See right here you can see a map of the British Honduras on the Caribbean. And here looks a little like the profile of Thomas Eakins, the famous painter and sculptor… And that group of lines over there gives me the impression of the stoning of Stephen… I can see the Apostle Paul standing there to one side…” Schroeder listened to Linus, utterly perplexed by his words as he watched him motion and point to the small twists and curls embedded into the shape of the crumbling, stained and drawn on concrete bricks that made up the walls. *August 14th, 1960 strip reference*

“How can you see all those things in the lines?!?” Schroeder examined closer, feeling blind but foolish for even attempting to see the images Linus had described.

“Well what shapes do you see?” Linus asks defensively.

“Obviously it’s Beethoven playing in the orchestra at Redoute in Godesberg!” He smacked the wall in gesture causing an approaching Violet to roll her eyes at the boys’ ongoing and pointless discussion over the shapes concrete made.

“Schroeder, this is the last water I’m bringing you.” She announces, forcing the glass into his hand animatedly annoyed.

“I appreciate it, thank you.” She turns to walk away but he calls out to her before she can get too far through the boxed in patrons of the smoking game room. “You know where Lucy is? I have to drive her home.”

“No she disappeared ages ago.” Violet replies before making a hasty exit, quickly wanting to return to the lesser smoked packed region of the building.

“I guess I have to find your sister. But you’re going home with Charlie and everyone else is taking a cab right?” He asks standing from his seat before downing the glass in his hands.

“Yeah assuming Charlie hasn’t begun drunk crying over Shermy.”

However, it wasn’t Charlie Brown who was balling ugly tears beside their friends and several cocktails, it was Patty. Schroeder had hoped a night out would allow his friends to loosen up enough to focus more on the good memories of Shermy that the gang shared instead of on loss they’d experienced, but as he scanned the room in search for Lucy and instead only found his wallowing friends, it was clear that mixing alcohol with grief had opened a can of sorrowful worms that Patty, and much of the group, had silently been harboring.

“I never told him!” She wailed over the music and Schroeder did his best to ignore the display and locate Lucy among the onlooking dancers so that he could leave as quickly as possible. He didn’t want to become emotional as well and he knew he would if he joined in with his friends who were attempting to comfort Patty and Charlie Brown, the two who’d known Shermy the longest.

Pig-Pen fidgeted nearby uncomfortably as he realized what it was that Patty hadn’t gotten the chance to say to Shermy. This whole night she’d only been flirting with him because she wanted a rebound to forget her dead beloved. If only he’d seen the way her eyes glimmered with enamored stars when she was around Shermy when they were innocent carefree children, he’d understand the agonizing pain she was in and had been trying to keep hidden below the surface and he’d understand why she’d been so desperate to use him, to use anyone, as a brief distraction from it all.

“There are things I didn’t tell him either, you know!” Charlie Brown shouts, slamming his fist on the table knocking over several of the drinks and causing an even larger commotion among their group.

Okay Lucy can find her own way home, I’m leaving.

As Schroeder rushed out and headed back towards the lot, he briefly considered the possibility of meeting up with the girl he’d met earlier to find his own bit of distraction from his grief and the emotional disaster he’d just witnessed. Though the space beside his car in which the girl’s van had occupied was empty and Schroeder released a wistful sigh feeling more relieved than disappointed to be going straight home instead of taking the unnecessary detour.

Arriving home, he locks the door with a satisfying 'click' hoping his parents wouldn't be woken by the sounds of him returning. Though once he's turned around, he spots his mother standing beside the kitchen counter under the single light above.

"Oh. Hi, mum." He greets her a bit nervously. He was an adult and didn't have any sort’ve curfew but he also hadn't expected her to still be up waiting for him.

"Hello, sweetie. Did you have fun?" She asks, sounding extremely groggy, her eyes struggling to remain open as she leaned against the counter.

"Yes. What're you still doing up?" He tosses his keys into the bowl they kept beside the door and approaches his sleepy mother.

"Just thought I'd make some tea for when you got back home." She smiles warmly handing him a mug and Schroeder accepts it graciously. The two stand in comfortable silence for a few moments, Schroeder sipping his tea and his mum enjoying the silent night with her son. Both were introverts and tended to prefer their time together in the quiet. After a moment though, Schroeder observes his mother clutching her chest, wearing an expression of discomfort.

"You alright, mum?" He asks, setting his mug back down and reaching out to place a hand on his mother's shoulder.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine. Just a little ache, I'll be alright." She brushes his concern off and forces a thin smile. "I just need some rest. Goodnight, sweetie." She bids before leaving the kitchen to return to her bedroom. Schroeder continued to sip his tea but the silence of the night left him with his thoughts, thoughts that left him unable to shake off his feeling of unease.

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Chapter 3 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note):

- There were times early on in the strip as well as in the 2015 movie when Patty showed romantic interest in Pig-Pen however her biggest romantic interest was in Shermy and in the very very early years of the strip when the main characters who had speaking roles were Charlie Brown, Shermy, and Patty the two boys both occasionally showed romantic interest in Patty. I personally saw potential for a relationship between either Shermy and Patty or Shermy and Charlie Brown so I honored all these romantic dynamics by referencing them with Shermy's death which is also a reference to the fact that Shermy's character had his final appearance in 1969, the same year that this fanfic takes place.

- If you've seen any strip or TV special that includes Frieda you probably know she talks about her "naturally curly hair" quite a bit.

- Besides Lucy and Schroeder, everyone who's in the car with Charlie Brown has a significantly closer relationship with him for the majority of the strip than the people in Schroeder's car so that seating arrangement was strategic and purposeful.

- Frieda is known to also have a crush on Schroeder in the strip however Schroeder prefers the company of Lucy (despite usually seeming annoying by her as well) and Schroeder only likes Lucy (even though most people don't know Schroeder does actually like her in the strip).

- Typing "augh" instead of "ugh" was intentional as that's how Charles Shultz spelled it throughout his strip. 

- Peppermint Patty and Marcie were never confirmed to have a romantic relationship however much of the fan base likes the ship (including me) or at the very least theorizes Peppermint Patty to be gay so I chose to make them be in a relationship in this strip.

- Marcie frequently referred to Peppermint Patty as 'Sir' and referred to Charlie Brown as 'Charles' and Peppermint Patty almost exclusively called Charlie Brown 'Chuck.'

- Thibult was the name of a minor character whom the gang played baseball against.

- As mentioned in this chapter, the Peanuts gang was very unlucky when it came to winning anything, especially baseball games.

- There maybe more references I'm forgetting but there's another reference currently being made that I can't reveal without spoiling so guess you'll just have to keep reading lol.

Chapter Text

OHMYFUCKINGGAWWDDDDDDDHELLLLOOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING OHMALORDDDDD Imgonnabesoemotionalholdthefuckonohmygodletmetypethisthroughthetearslol. So five years, holy motherfucking shit.

Ok ok ok so real quick, for those of you who don't care about author's notes you can scroll down to the disclaimers if you want (because those are still important, please don't skip the disclaimers). But also there will not be another pre-chapter author's note (nor disclaimers list) anywhere near this long again, I promise, and it really means a lot if you stick around for it so I encourage you to please do!

Holy fuck ok let's get started with everyone I need to thank first. For starters obviously every single one of you here right now whether you have been here for years awaiting an update and encouraging me along this journey or you're freshly discovering this fic with its new updates, thank you so so much for being here and for all the love and support I've received over these last many years. I'm gonna sound so freaking cliche and sooo dramatic every moment of this but I don't care. There has not been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about this fic or about the support I continued to get over the years across platforms, even ones I hadn't uploaded to. This has been a huge part of the driving force to keeping me committed to coming back.

I want to shoutout my best friend in the world who was my first ever beta reader and had to listen to me info dump when I had no Peanuts fandom to turn to when I first started this and also just because she's the best friend I could ever ask for and she's supported me in countless other ways our whole life.

I also want to shoutout everyone else who's beta read for me and helped catch all my errors and for all the feedback you've given.

I also want to thank the team behind Ellipsus because it's such a great anti-ai writing platform that I'm using now (instead of Google docs) and also the community on discord has been so fantastic and loving and I've met so many wonderful people who've supported me such a great deal and I would not be updating right now without them.

Also I'd like to thank the Peanuts community for just being so warm and wonderful and tight knit. Oh my god speaking of which. The growth of the community has been astronomical. When I first uploaded this fic to AO3 there were 30 other Schrucy fics and just over 100 total Peanuts fics. Those numbers have grown more than 10 fold in the last five years and that's nothing to say of the Peanuts discord and the community on TikTok and the mountain of fanart that's been created. God it used to be like tumbleweeds and crickets fr. I'm so happy and grateful to be back at a time of such immense growth in the community.

Now to address the elephant in the room. Why tf did I disappear for the last 5 years haha. Some of you may have even noticed I made the authorship anonymous for a few years, only changing that back the last 2 months. Some of you may have also seen my updates where I briefly described some of the things that have happened. Basically, when I first got heavily into Peanuts and writing this fic it was March and April 2020, the height of lockdowns and I was 16 and in my junior year of high school going remote for the first time and I basically abandoned all school work and other responsibilities to write this fic at the time haha. Then the following fall it was my senior year and we eventually went back to school in person late fall which was around the time of my last update. So at first I just got busy with school and then preparing for university. And then IN university. And throughout this time I did occasionally make minor progrsss on my fic but never anything super substantial just small amounts here and there.

And then near the end of my sophomore year of university I made a life changing decision. I engaged in non violent direct action in defense of reproductive rights and my community. It's a rather insane story that followed but long story short I was labeled a terrorist lol. I thankfully didn't go to prison but others haven't been so lucky and I did have to pay a fine, probation, and community service. I finally got off probation a few months ago. Oh also this all happened under Biden at the direction of his DOJ. Fuck liberals man. Then Trump got back in office and like a day or two into his term he pardoned a bunch of anti choicers. It's a crazy crazy story I may or may not share more in the future here we'll see. I've probably already significantly overshared. We'll see how much of that ends up in the final edit of this. Anyway so yea I'm off probation now🙌 fuck this fascist government man. Omg and don't even get me started on all the ways this is connected to repression of activists generally like this was all happening to me at the same time the feds were using the exact same tactics on stop cop city activists when they dumped all those rico charges and then all the repression of student activists for Palestine.

So anyway. I was studying Spanish and international studies in school and I was set to go abroad that fall but my case and then probation made that impossible and so well unfortunately school is indefinitely on hold for me. And so in the meantime I became a caregiver and abortion doula and I'm actually really satisfied with this path and I think it's a really good fit for me. But there's also been a lot of other shitty things that have happened to me and I've been struggling fighting homelessness and lots of other things. I don't want to just rant about my life issues. My point is I've just gone through a lot these past 5 years. Oh my god I also started dating my partner 5 years ago. Our anniversary is literally Valentine's Day. I really can't wrap my head around the fact that this fic was around before I met them.

It feels so incredibly strange to have so much time pass and to have gone through so much and to come back here and realize there's a part of me that is exactly the same. I am nothing if not a resistance writer. If Schroeder is a pianist to his core, I am a writer. Writing journals as young as I can remember filled with testimony about my father's abuse and how good justice would feel, writing in fiction and fanfiction stories of adventure and fantasizing and yearning for the world and escape from abuse and authority and about queer identity and being a misfit, to today writing a lot of non fiction and commentary and poetry about lived experiences, politics, community and more. It is who I am at my very core. And now I am back here writing perhaps my biggest passion project of my life.

You know I was talking to another anarchist fanfic loving baddie friend of mine recently about my writing and I said; sometimes I lay awake at night and think to myself "one day, when the world finally sees the destruction of capitalism and empire and we see liberation for all, then I will finally let myself sit back down at my computer and get back to work on all those fics left unfinished over the years." Well I'm tired of waiting. I don't want to let fascism or suffering and struggle take my joy and whimsy. And this is going to be hard, really really fucking hard, it's not just an immensely tough project, but with my adhd and everything I deal with everyday in this painful world, it's hard to prioritize joyful things. But fuck it! I know I can do hard things. I believe in me. And so I'm promising to you and myself, I will finish this fic.

~~~

Ok wow lemme just vomit really quick at my dramatic self lol. Thank you for sticking through that to those of you that did. I really missed using author's notes to just pour my little heart out. Now let's get to the disclaimers for this chapter and also some very important things to know for reading going forward:

DISCLAIMERS - PLEASE READ:

1.) I have renamed two things. First, Schroeder's mentor I had named Dr. Heimer. I have changed her name to Dr. Guaraldi because duh how did I not think of that in the past? If you are reading this fandom blind, Vince Guaraldi was the name of the composer for like every Peanuts special ever. The other thing I have renamed is the bar location from chapter 3. It was previously called Donahue's, now is it called Kirmser's. Donahue's was the only name I could think of 5 years ago after the name of a bar in the story Open Heart by Choices iykyk. I have decided to change it to Kirmser's because that's the name of a real life bar that existed in St. Paul Minnesota back in 40s-60s (I can't find any source saying when exactly it closed besides a random unsourced decade old Facebook post saying it was in the 60s). The real life Kirmser's had basically the very exact description I gave it in chapter 3 and that I continue to give it in this chapter. Besides this, no other major changes were made to the previous 3 chapters, only a very tiny few reworded lines here and there.

2.) Reference notes at the end of the chapter will now be even deeper and be known as Chapter Deep Dives so definitely get excited and stick around for that! I also would love to create a companion work with all the deep dives and lots of bonus content including character templates, chapter playlists to listen to while reading, art that I've made or that others have made that I want to spotlight, maybe even small one shots, we'll see. But yea stick around for the deep dives and be on the look out for the fanfic companion guide!

3.) So just a heads up this chapter is probably not in the slightest what you're expecting from the first returning chapter hahaha. This is actually the main reason I decided to upload chapters 4, 5, and 6 back to back because I was worried people would read this chapter and be kinda confused about the direction of the plot. Keep in mind, I have had this whole story outlined for the last 5 years and much of this chapter written as well. So for me, this chapter was always going to be the follow up. But I know it's just probably not what you're expecting. Anyway, again, I guess I just say this as a heads up 🤷.

4.) There is NSFW content in this chapter. It is not the majority of the chapter by any means but just a warning that it is there.

5.) As you might remember from chapter 3, Lucy's age is 17. Just a reminder that I was 16 when I started writing this. As I came back to this fic, that was something that def made me feel pretty uncomfortable tbh and I spent a lot of time thinking about changing it and options for changing the dialogue and plot points along with it. Ultimately, I just decided to leave her age as 17. The reason behind this decision is when I started this fic, I put a lot of thought behind her age and birthdates and timing of events both in the story as well as historical details and changing it would mean changing all of that just for some notion of moral purity and nothing else. In a story that is largely impure and gritty in many ways, it just feels kinda fake. Also, to the people that are majorly put off by this, I'm not too worried about them because I feel like they got much worse stories and authors to worry about even that are mainstream published authors, nothing to say of other material on this site haha. That being said, I do get it and if it bothers you and you don't wish to continue, that's fine. I understand and wish you the best.

6.) The OC introduced in this chapter is not a one off nor one note character. I did not want anyone thinking they're being introduced and then immediately dismissed and forgotten. They are significant to the plot as well as in their own right with their own backstory and personal arc.

7.) edit to add: I feel like I gotta add this because I sometimes forget that some people don’t know Spanish. “Linda” is Spanish for cute/pretty and is often used as a term of endearment. 

Now finally, without any further adieu. Thank you for sticking around an extra 2300 words after waiting for 5 years lol. I appreciate you guys so much and I hope you enjoy.

The angelic voice of Laura Nyro singing "Emmie" echoes from the jukebox outside into the repugnant bathroom, bouncing off the chipped tiled walls and muffling the sounds of Lucy’s own scattered thoughts as she sought to recuperate from her embarrassment. Usually, she would be too disgusted to deign step foot in a room as horrid as the public bathroom at Kirmser’s, but she had nowhere else to escape to and the mirror, while exceptionally cracked and dirty, provided an easy way to give herself a pep talk.

“It’s his loss, Lucy! He didn’t wanna kiss you, and that’s fine!” She says to herself with a slam of her fist down on the porcelain sink. She avoids her own gaze in the reflection, too embarrassed to even face herself. “You are a queen and deserve to be treated as such, and you deserve someone who wants to kiss you! You walked away from him with dignity.” Lucy waves a stern finger at herself and speaks as forcefully as she can muster. Determination fuels her as she tries to convince the face in the mirror that she was as perfect and deserving of love as she always told herself and the world she was. Now more than ever, she needed to believe it.

“He didn’t want to kiss you…” Her voice turns solemn for a moment, but she quickly catches her falling expression and plasters on a gleam of fierce confidence and stubbornness. “Well, that’s alright, he didn’t deserve to kiss you. He’ll need to work for it and-and you’ll just have to charm him. That's right." Lucy straightens herself up and plasters on a look of resolve. "Be intelligent, be seductive, be a fucking goddess— show him what he’s missing out on. Then he’ll be begging to kiss you.” Her words drip with conviction and her smile becomes genuine as her self-motivation eases her stressed heart.

“What idiot would turn down a kiss from you?” A woman steps out of the corner stall flashing a friendly grin towards Lucy who startles at the realization that she hadn’t been alone in the bathroom. Lucy wasn’t in the mood to even attempt to hold back her annoyance and defensively crosses her arms against her chest, ready to insult the woman who’d interrupted her private speech. However, as her eyes begin to roam her appearance, initially in search of something to slander, she finds herself marveled by her striking beauty. The nameless woman stood tall, wearing a gentle small smile and soft glowing features. Her vividly colored crocheted crop top and ragged denim shorts left much of her skin bare, proudly shining attention to the sunshine-yellow smiles painted about her arms, and her pillowy afro beautifully framed her angelic face, highlighting her maroon glitter speckled cheeks.

Lucy suddenly finds herself unable to recall a single negative adjective she’d ever read in any of her many dictionaries and her crabby tone and mood had already vanished as quickly as it had appeared, her arms falling back to her side as her defenses drop completely. The silence between them seemed amplified by the quiet, steady dripping of the broken sink faucet.

“Exactly, an idiot!” She regains her composure and turns back to the mirror as the girl approaches the sink beside her.

“Then there’s nothing to be upset over. Like you said,” she finishes rinsing her hands shaking them dry as the bathroom’s paper towels had long been stolen. “You are a queen.” She holds Lucy's gaze, her voice more serious this time. “If he isn’t kneeling before you, he’s not worth a second thought. Know your worth."

“But why isn’t he? Doesn’t he see how exceptionally beautiful I am?” Lucy allows herself a vulnerable pout, averting the woman’s eyes.

“You’re right, you are exceptionally beautiful. If he can’t see that, he doesn’t deserve you.” Her voice was sincere and gentle. Lucy looked up again, taken aback by the kindness of the stranger and by the pull she felt towards her. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest.

“Thank you.” Lucy murmurs.

“Don’t thank me. Unlike him, I can’t help but notice how astonishing you look.” She smirks and presses a quick reassuring peck on Lucy’s cheek, a move that makes the girl blush a deep red. “Would you like to go dance and forget that loser?”

“Well yes, I would. My friends and I came here tonight to basically do exactly that, forget. So, what's your name?” Lucy spoke with a newfound confidence and excitement coursing through her.

“Dolores. I’ll be out on the dance floor waiting for you.” She winks before turning to leave the restroom.

What just happened? Lucy was not completely foreign to the feeling of her cheeks flushing over the sight of a breathtaking woman such as her, but this was perhaps the first time she felt a flutter in her chest so intense she could not brush it off as she had done so in the past. While taken by surprise by the heat she felt creeping on her face, she was also intrigued by the realization. She knew there were those who were attracted to people besides the opposite gender. She’d even been close friends with Peppermint and Marcie her whole life who'd been dating for years at this point, though still kept it quiet from either of their families, and Charlie Brown who had quietly developed occasional crushes on men, revealing so only to his closest lifelong friends. Then there was her beloved Schroeder who consistently expressed not feeling much attraction to anyone of any gender much at all. He still enjoyed an occasional hookup and was harboring feelings for Lucy beneath even his own conscience, but these were things that she, of course, didn’t yet know. Needless to say, their friend group had accepted the queers among them long ago and also had since spent time in queer bars and spaces not unlike the one they were currently in.

Kirmser's was not an explicitly gay bar, however, it may as well have been, especially the later in the night it got. The gang had even on occasion attended Kirmser's to view performances from the boisterous drag queens of the community. But even with the rather unique and progressive experience Lucy had for the age with all of the exposure she'd had to queers and those who'd embraced the sexual revolution of the day, she still never had dared to ponder whether or not she herself could be “deviant" in such a way. She never really considered the possibility of being interested in anyone but Schroeder.

Despite the new feeling she was experiencing, she felt neither confusion nor shame. Simply, intrigue— intrigued by the invitation to dance, intrigued by the fantasy of what it would be like to kiss the dazzling woman, intrigued by the curiosity itself to do so.

Lucy found herself abandoning her sink pep talk and leaving the bathroom in search of the woman on the dance floor. The moment she stepped out, her senses were assaulted by the deafening music, the sight of flashing lights and swaying bodies, and the aroma of smoke, sweat, and zing. Her eyes scanned the room, struggling to adjust to the darkness and mesmerizing lights, looking for the mysterious woman.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Dolores asks, finding Lucy before she can spot her and tapping on her shoulder.

“Hmm, I suppose.” Lucy agrees.

“What would you like?”

“I guess.. I’ll have a Tom Collins.” She replies. Her mind flashes to the smile the blonde boy gave her as she enjoyed her drink but she quickly forces the image away with the accompanied pang in her heart at the memory of what had happened earlier.

“Interesting choice. Quite the classic.” She chuckles and appraises Lucy up and down. Lucy's appearance fit the bill quite to a tee as she was very much an old Hollywood pin up style beauty. It contrasted greatly from Dolores's own feminine aesthetic which was more unconventional, vivid, and playful.

“But then again, how will I be able to focus on dancing with you if I’m busy with my drink?” Lucy forces a flirty smile, proud of her boldness.

“That's a good point, come with me then.” The woman reaches for Lucy’s hand pulling her along to the crowd of dancers and Lucy giddily allows herself to be guided, getting more excited by the second. “Now let's see what you got!” She teasingly commands Lucy once they find a cramped opening barely big enough for them to stand in. Lucy smiles as she tentatively begins to let her body flow in rhythm with the music. Dolores on the other hand, was animated and theatric, shimmying her body and arms to the beat coinciding with dramatic spins and snaps of her fingers. Lucy felt enamored and envious with how carefree she seemed. She melted into the music as if she didn't put a second thought behind her motions, just that they were full and truly hers, utterly eccentric.

Lucy followed suit, deciding to challenge herself to let go as well. Was that not what this night was for? She twisted her body and flung her arms gracefully up and down. She closed her eyes, not wanting to know what she looked like, and sensually popped her hips while performing delicate footwork. For once, it felt like the dance lessons she’d taken when she was younger in an attempt to impress Schroeder were finally paying off a bit even if it had been awhile since she'd properly practiced.

“So you never said your name, linda." The smiley face painted lady asks. She continues to hold her hand, tantalizingly stroking her thumb over Lucy's knuckles as they move together. Dolores reaches up to guide Lucy into a rapid twirl which she executes with grace.

“Well you never asked. I think I’d just prefer you keep calling me 'linda', though.” Lucy jokes which elicits a small laugh from Dolores. “But it’s Lucy.” Dolores suddenly rests her hand at the small of Lucy's back and dips her back skillfully.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, linda.” She winks, standing them both back upright. Their faces were now mere inches apart as Dolores's hands fell to Lucy’s waist. Lucy was someone who was known for her, at times, brutal honesty and directness. Yet, she had nothing on the woman who now stood before her. Dolores felt it her duty in life to live authentically. Honesty and truth were her core values above all. And it was because of this that she had no shame whatsoever expressing what she wanted.

"So, I'm not crazy to think you're flirting with me, am I?" Lucy interrogates her inquisitively. Dolores quirks her eyebrow grinning with mild surprise.

"My! You're rather direct." She exclaims with a chuckle. It was true, Lucy did often tend to speak without much consideration or filter. Dolores found that rather attractive. Too often she'd encountered women too afraid to speak what they thought. But that wasn't Lucy at all.

"Well, I-I," Lucy stutters trying to push away her undeniable nerves. "Don't pretend you haven't been either! And I have no reason to be nervous, do I? You heard me in the bathroom, I’m a queen." She saves herself swiftly with a smug grin. To this, Dolores throws her head back with a laugh before gazing back into Lucy's eyes, her smile beaming.

"Well maybe I am flirting with you. I mean how could I ever pass up the chance to kiss a glamorous queen—"

"Did you say kiss?" Lucy gulps her swaying body slowly coming to a stop.

"Well, only if her majesty would accept, of course." Dolores speaks lower, almost a whisper now as she inches imperceptibly closer.

"I think.." Lucy searches her eyes, feeling her heart pounding through her chest. "I would be alright with that." Am I really doing this? The air between them thickens and the dancing club goers and the electric energy around them seems to blur and fade into the distance. Dolores gently presses her lips to Lucy's for only a moment, just enough for their lips to have a brief introduction. She pulls away slowly, still gazing at the awestruck woman in front of her. "Why are you flirting with me?" Lucy asks, pulling herself out of the daze to ask seriously. "I didn't even tell you if I was interested in women." She crosses her arms, feigning offense.

"Well, are you? I didn't intend to when I overheard you thinking about whatever chump hurt you. But then there you were. And here you are. I think you're stunning and I can't resist a sweetheart like yourself. If there's one thing in this world I am not, it's shy about what I want." Dolores exuded a roguish charm, ever the hypnotizing one.

"I think you're rather bewitching yourself." Lucy admits timidly. "I just have never entertained a woman in this way, though. I can't say I'm sure how I feel about it." Dolores's face noticeably falls for a moment. "But.. I've never been one to fear experimentation." Lucy dons a mischievous grin. The pair continue to lose themselves to the beats of Diana Ross, Sly & The Family Stones, and The Temptations. Lucy had long forgotten about Schroeder and all her friends by the time Violet came and poked her arm.

"Hey Lucy, just wanted to check on you." Violet glances at Dolores, curious about the woman they'd seen her dancing with.

"Oh, I'm doing fine. I'm just chatting up a new friend is all. This is Dolores. Dolores, this is my friend Violet." Lucy beams between them, reassuring her friend.

"Great to meet you, Violet." Violet extends her hand to shake in response and Dolores bows and places a playful kiss upon their hand.

"My, my what a lady." Violet giggles at the gesture. "Lucy, where did you find her? We must get together sometime!"

"You ready for that drink now, Lucy?" Dolores asks. She had become breathless from all the dancing and was very in need of refreshment.

"God yes!" Lucy exhales in agreement. Dolores leaves to fetch the drinks and Lucy turns back to Violet. They stop by the table to greet their friends again. The mood of the group is far from that of the rest of the room as Charlie and several others drunkenly cry into their hands attempting to comfort one another.

"Well, you see how we're fairing.." Violet chuckles though stress is evident in her voice. "How is your night going?"

"Oh, it's fine. I'm having fun with my new friend." It was true, she was having fun. However, her pain from their group's loss along with the shot to her self esteem earlier still weighed heavily on her mind.

"What's the matter? I mean.. besides Shermy of course." Violet rubs a friendly concerned hand on Lucy's shoulder.

"Oh you know.. nothing." Lucy forces a laugh. "My problems are too deep rooted." She says, her voice lighthearted but sarcastic. Lucy felt unprepared to properly join back at the table in mourning with her friends and so she bid her adieus, leaving again to meet up with Dolores who was stood at the bar. *July 8th, 1957 strip reference*

"Hi." She greets and, at the very moment, the bartender handed Dolores their drinks.

"Here you are, darling." Dolores passes the Tom Collins off to Lucy who graciously accepts.

"Thank you." Lucy sips quickly, desperate for the liquid courage.

"Your friends seem…" Dolores trails off nodding towards the table where they all continue to grieve in full view of the joyous attendees.

"Depressed?" Dolores nods wide-eyed. "We came here tonight to wallow and give our friend the celebration send off he deserved. We found out he died in Vietnam last month." Lucy explains, her voice breaking momentarily. She took another swallow of her drink.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I didn't know or I wouldn't have been so—."

"No, no stop. Tonight was about letting go and letting loose. Saying goodbye… And saying hello to new things. That's all I'm doing. We may yearn for people and the past and the way things were, but we must promise to ourselves to move on and evolve." Lucy considers her own wisdom as she speaks.

"I understand. Sometimes leaving everything behind is the best gift you can give yourself." Dolores looks off, letting herself get momentarily lost in thought. "The grass can be so much greener on the other side." She smiles radiantly shooting Lucy a wink. They sip their drinks for a few minutes in a pleasant quiet between them, letting the moment linger.

"What about you? Are you here with anybody?"

"No. I tend to party alone these days." Dolores shrugs with a casual smile though her tone hinted at something beneath the surface, a yearning. "But now we can hang out!"

"So, why do you have these smiles painted all over you?" Lucy asks, leaning to shout in Dolores's ear over the music which had suddenly felt even louder.

"I'm an artist. Paint on canvas is my typical medium but you'll find me painting any and everything and working with other materials when the inspiration strikes me as well. I can't help myself. My art consumes me." Huh, how familiar.. The passion in her voice was extraordinarily evident. "I'm really into vibrant florals and the works of Martin Saldana and Alfredo Ramos Martinez. But I never limit myself, I shake up my style and subjects all the time."

"I would love to see your work. Do you have a studio you could give me a tour of sometime?"

"You know, my place isn't far from here and the night is still young. I could even paint on you!" Dolores's eyes twinkle at her own proposition, immediately picturing the endless possibilities of designs she could bring to life upon Lucy's curvaceous hourglass figure.

"Inviting me back to your place already? How scandalous! Don't you know I'm a lady?" Lucy jokes coyly, touching her hand to her chest and pretending to be shocked.

"Hahaha." Dolores's laughter rang between them. "I'm serious though. We could have a smoke and make some art together. I would love to get to know you more.. somewhere quieter." She tilts her head averting Lucy's eyes nervously. Despite her forwardness and confidence, it was not often she found herself so immediately enamored with a woman and invited her to view her art so soon. Lucy bites her lip. She feels the excitement building in her chest, but this was all quite a lot to process rather quickly and she wasn't sure what to make of it and her eagerness. I just met this girl!

"And how old are you and where is your place exactly?"

"I turned 19 just last week. And it's not far, I walked just a few blocks to get here. Near Kellogg Mall Park. Great view of the river and Raspberry Island from there. And how old are you?"

"Well keep quiet while I'm holding this drink, not that many really care, but I'm still 17." Lucy leans in and whispers, if you could call it that given how loud she spoke to be heard over the music.

"Oh you don't have a curfew do you?" Dolores smirks, half teasing. Lucy pauses for another moment, carefully thinking over her next words and actions.

"Not tonight, I don't. Let's go!"

The two girls practically run to the door, feeling a blast of cool air envelop them upon bolting into the nighttime air. Giggling through the parking lot which was still as lively as it was when Lucy had arrived, they slow to a stroll falling in pace with each other. The music and chatter from Kirmser's and the other clubs nearby still open begin to fade as the two take in the echoes of the city at night and the star studded sky above them.

"How come I've never seen you at Kirmser's before? I don't talk to many people outside my group but I feel like our paths should've crossed by now." Lucy asks, deciding to break the quiet lull.

"I just arrived in St. Paul last week, actually. On my birthday. I was born in Mexico City but my family moved to Santa Rosa, California, where my dad's from, when I was just a baby and that's where I grew up." She recounts. "How about you did you grow up here?"

"Yes. I've never really traveled much except for a few family vacations over the years. St. Paul is quite the difference from California. Have you moved a lot?" She inquires.

"Absolutely, but really only in the last few years. When I was younger, my family didn't travel out of California or anything like that. But, I was living in New York City awhile before this." She looks off to the city skyline wistfully.

"New York City, wow! That must have been the most exciting place in the world. With Times Square and the Empire State Building and Broadway, oh boy! I would love to go someday!" Lucy declares, spinning around and fantasizing about the city she'd only ever seen in photos and television, inspiring her overactive imagination to run wild.

"New York was the adventure of a lifetime, no doubt. But it was time I move on to bigger and better things. Like my new home!" She changes the topic, pointing excitedly at a shape coming up in the distance.

"Wait… is that… a van? You live in a van?!" Lucy exclaims in disbelief.

"Yea! How do you think I travel everywhere." Dolores says with a wink. The van comes further into view as they cross the street and come up into the park bordering the river front. The moon and city light illuminated the intricate illustrations painted upon the outside of the Volkswagen bus which sat in the empty parking lot for the park, overlooking the water. "Welcome to my humble abode." Dolores jokingly bows next to her van before taking out her key to unlock the door. She opens it and Lucy teasingly curtsies before accepting her hand to step up the stairs through the door. There was little room to stand and Lucy was shocked they were both able to squeeze in, however it was clear they'd need to remain quite close in the compact space.

"Whoa.." is all Lucy can mutter. The van was dark, only barely visible with the moonlight pouring in the windows but Dolores is quick to close the door behind them and flip the light switch behind her. The small interior is instantly basked in a low warm glow emanating from a pair of lamps, one on the table in the middle of the seated booth sat right behind the driver's seat and another beside the small bed in the back of the van. Simultaneously the stereo switched on as well, quietly humming the sounds of Pucho Brown. Lucy is instantly mesmerized by the art that fills the van across the walls, on the furniture, as well as the dozens of in progress and completed canvasses that occupied much of the available space between the furniture. There was also the occasional unfinished sculpture scattered about. Despite being so crowded, it didn't feel claustrophobic. It was a beautiful chaos that Dolores clearly found herself at home in as she comfortably plops onto the booth which provided the only seating available and she reaches for supplies in a cubby under the table.

"Do you normally smoke? I wanna get an idea of how much to pack in this for us?" She pulls out a pair of jars and pack of rolling papers seated neatly on a tray and rests it on the table in front of her. Lucy mulls it over a moment, considering what she was hoping to get out of her experience. One thing was for certain: she felt more ready than ever for adventure. "Honestly only on occasion. But we're experimenting tonight aren't we?" She smiles mischievously.

"If you really are feeling adventurous," Dolores reaches for something else out of her cubby, pulling out a small bag and holding it up. "I have some sassafrass I'm happy to share as well. No pressure whatsoever. But it's here if you'd like it." Dolores opened it and took a tablet out for herself, plopping it on her tongue.

"You're a rather daring individual aren't you? Traveling around solo, seducing ladies you just met, opening your mind I'm guessing for your art?" Lucy giggles sitting on the seat across from Dolores who is reaching to open the windows behind her.

"Ok in my defense, it's not everyday I meet a woman as beautiful as yourself and bring her to my van." Lucy feels herself blush but rolls her eyes trying to hide it.

"Whatever you say." She averts her eyes, feeling her heart skip a beat. "Sooo.. if I did want to give this a try, how much would you recommend?" Lucy bites her lip nervously.

"Oh only probably like this much I'd say. If it's your first time." Dolores breaks a tablet in half and passes it to Lucy before returning to rolling the joint she'd been working on. "Do you know what to expect from it? You don't need to take it just to try and impress me, you're already doing that enough." She quirks a smile. But Lucy had tried MDA before, even if only once when Peppermint had gotten some from her friends at camp and brought it along one sleepover early in high school. They had all taken far too much, not having a clue what they were getting themselves into. Lucy felt excited to have a do-over experience now, curated to be much more pleasant this time around.

"So, solo traveling huh?" She inquires before picking up the pill and swallowing it.

"Yea, I've been traveling solo since July. I had… I got enough of New York for awhile and I needed to see more. I wanted more quiet and safety to focus on my art." Dolores's expression turns mildly solemn as she finishes licking the wrapper and sealing it down. She rummages in the cubby again, searching for a lighter.

"Safety?" Lucy questions curiously.

"Well, yeah." She replies a touch dumbfounded by her question. "What, you think it's all that safe for an Afro-Latina dyke to express her whimsy?" She motions to herself and the art that cluttered her van and Lucy finally stops to truly take it all in. "I was feeling stuck. Stuck in the same place, stuck focusing on survival, stuck spiritually." She presses a hand to her chest. "Now, I am the master of my own destiny. I go wherever the wind takes me. I can focus all my time on my paintings. That's all that's important to me in this life. And it's not the first time I've been homeless, so the van really isn't all bad. I was sleeping on friends' couches in New York. But when I saw this van for sale, I used all the money I'd saved up serving tables and snatched it right up. I have been supporting myself by selling my art and braiding hair since I got on the road. And I've never felt freer." Dolores spoke with earnest and conviction and finally lights the joint for the two of them. After taking a long drag she passes it to Lucy who graciously accepts and follows suit.

"Sounds a little lonely." Dolores shrugs. She didn't have a response. It wasn't something she preferred to think about. "But ya know, I like to think I have all the confidence in the world, plenty enough to be who I am unapologetically. But it's not true. I don't open all the sides of myself to almost anyone. I admire you." Lucy takes another inhale before passing the joint back to Dolores who taps it on the ashtray.

"And why is that queen? What is it you seek from life and what stops you from just reaching out and grabbing it? Why don't you think you're worthy of your desires?" Dolores animatedly grabs at the air and takes another puff, leaning back and tilting her head curiously awaiting Lucy's response.

"I… that's difficult to answer. Not because I don't know. I just.. I want to do so much I suppose." Lucy looks off contemplatively and accepts the joint back for her turn. "Like I am the biggest reader you've ever met. I'm a born studier and researcher. I love love love to learn. About every subject imaginable. And about people and their stories. I love to analyze people and their minds and tell them what I think is wrong with them. I even had a psychiatrist booth as a kid." Dolores laughs listening intently. "And I also love to tell stories. And performing those stories, oh how I love to perform. I can be quite the dramatic when it suits me. Just imagine, me on a stage someday captivating an audience." Maybe Schroeder would be playing the piano… don't go there right now! "I would just travel and absorb like a sponge, acquiring all there is to know of the world and universe, people, and myself. And then bringing it all to life again in theatre, feeling the anticipation of a crowd as they experience it with me. I don't know is that too big of an answer? Is it selfish? To say I want the attention of an enchanted audience and to experience everything I can in this world? Is it too much?" Lucy smiles softly as she tries to push away her feelings of vulnerability. She takes another hit and passes the joint back to Dolores to finish the last of it.

"Nonsense. Is that not any different than what I'm doing? Is that not the purpose of art? To create art is to manifest. You are manifesting yourself in your own divine image when you express your soul through a media, whether it's paint or performance." Or piano..

"I have really never imagined myself as an artist." Lucy shrugs unsure.

"And why not?" Dolores challenges putting out the bud and standing up. Lucy follows and they stand beside each other leaning against the table shoulder to shoulder.

"Well I don't know. I guess I don't think I've created any art yet." Lucy chuckles to herself.

"And wasn't that what we came here to do?" Lucy catches Dolores's gaze and holds it for a long while.

"What would you have me do?" Lucy asks just above a whisper.

"I want to paint you. All over you. And—"

"And?" Lucy interrupts, impatient and expectant, her eyes briefly darting to the glossy pair of lips in front of her.

"I want you to paint me. All over me." Their lips are close enough now that Lucy could feel Dolores's hot breath on hers if she hadn't been holding it, anxious that she may have gone too far.

"Yes." Throwing caution to the wind, Lucy is the first to capture Dolores's mouth, reaching up to gently cup her cheek. Dolores wraps her arms around Lucy's waist pulling her close and parts her lips to deepen the kiss. Lucy shutters under Dolores's touch as her hands travel to her hips guiding them both as they hold their kiss. Suddenly, Lucy finds herself falling forward as Dolores drops down onto the bed pulling Lucy on top of her.

"Wait!" She pulls away suddenly and sits up, Lucy sliding off of her position of straddling her waist. Dolores rushes to grab a bowl and cloth from a cabinet and is quick to fill it up at the sink. Next she grabs her paint palette that had been hung up by a hook on the wall which was still covered in a rainbow of wet colors and cup of paint brushes and she sets it all on the side table beside the bed. "We gotta rinse off these smiles on me first." She sits down again in front of Lucy sitting criss-cross on the bed.

"A shame, really. I found them quite adorable." Lucy grins and gently traces her finger over Dolores's arms, feeling the texture of the dried acrylic paint still on her skin.

"I look forward to seeing what you create instead." Dolores feels herself blush at Lucy's soft touch.

"I hope you're ok with imperfections because I reallllyyy don't know how to paint—"

"Stop it. It will be perfect. Imperfections and all." Dolores brushes Lucy's hair behind her ear and watches closely as her lips curl into a smile again at her words. With a newfound confidence, Lucy doesn't hesitate and begins dipping the towel in the water bowl and gently wiping away the yellow paint. Dolores doesn't take her eyes off her for a moment, her anticipation building by the second. Lucy gulps nervously under her gaze as she picks up the palette and a brush.

"So… paint all of you, you said?" Lucy's eyes travel across Dolores's whole figure as she fails to hide the small tremble in her voice.

"Only if you're comfortable, of course!" They both pause for a short moment as Lucy concentrates her thoughts. The drinks, and cannabis, the tension, it was all so dizzying.

"I did say I want to experience everything." Her fingers reach up to touch the strap of Dolores's crocheted top, tugging to slide it down her shoulder. Dolores reaches behind herself to untie the single knot that held together the back and finally lets the top fall off her arms, tossing it aside. Her chest now laid bare before Lucy who found herself rendered speechless as she reaches to dab her brush in a green hue. She delicately glides the color from just behind Dolores's ear down her neck and then lower, creating a wistful stem on which to add leaves and flowers to.

At the same time Dolores reaches for Lucy's thigh and cautiously pushes up the bottom of her dress, watching her expression closely.

"Is this alright?" Lucy simply nods enthusiastically still at a loss for words but she decides to be fearless and take the initiative. Lucy lifts herself up to kneel on the bed and swivels her dress up and above her head, throwing it to the ground as Dolores had done her top. The scandalous black lingerie she'd worn in hopes someone else would see were now in full view of someone they'd not been expecting.

"Oh my god, linda." Lucy without a word slid back into Dolores's lap and returned to paint. Dolores sighs happily and joins, dabbing in the red on the shared palette with her own brush. She collected a thick glob of paint before pressing it to the center of Lucy's chest and dragging it to form a wide but sleek, bold, red line. It was only a handful of minutes later that Lucy noticed her flowers appeared to be blossoming off of Dolores's skin and Lucy felt she could practically smell them.

"You smell like lavender.." She murmurs. "I think I'm starting to feel the sass." The paintbrush on Lucy's skin began to tickle and feel like a snake slithering across her skin eliciting a small giggle. Dolores trickles small kisses down Lucy's collarbone making her breath hitch in her throat.

"May I?" Dolores peers up at Lucy holding her bra strap and she nods eagerly. A moment later, Lucy's breasts were naked as well and Dolores began expanding her design to cover them. She decorates her chest with the striking red, creating an art deco overlay to Lucy's natural shapes and curves that matched her bold red lips. Lucy continues her own work, with more gusto now as the ache between her legs grew more intense for the woman she was straddling. She digs into the baby blue and brushes large swaths to create the base for a sky before grabbing a tiny brush to dab on intricate white clouds.

"Look, Lucy." Dolores puts down her brush, uncaring about the paint that wiped onto the sheets as they had been long covered in paint splotches, and she motions to the mirror against the wall behind them. Lucy climbs up off the bed to meet herself in the mirror. The lines were as clean and sharp as Lucy's eyeliner had been at the start of the night, the red as vibrant and captivating as her lips, and the silhouette of the design one of an armor breastplate that gave her a pronounced statuesque figure and domineering aura. "You are a woman that commands attention. You are aflame." Dolores sits beside where Lucy stood, hanging her legs off the bed and eyeing her own chest in the mirror. A single lavender flower stretching out of the grass upon her belly and blowing in the wind as clouds pass by. It was her flowing in the wind with the quiet and freedom she was seeking.

Lucy gazed at herself for what felt like a long time. She saw herself differently than she ever had. She could see the lines wander off her body and a glow within herself she had never seen. She saw someone capable and beautiful internally staring back at her. She never thought of herself that way before. Finally, she pulls her eyes to turn back to Dolores sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Thank you.." she trails off before leaning down to reach Dolores's mouth again, sinking against her as they fell back on the bed. Lucy felt herself melting and coming undone in her arms and seeking more and more. She didn't care how much of this she was new to her. She didn't want to turn back now. She was too addicted to the way her presently hyper sensitive skin reacted to Dolores's soft caress which was, at this moment, exploring the edges of her lace panties on her behind. Lucy moans as Dolores brushes her fingers over the inside of her thigh.

"I don't want you having all the fun." Lucy chuckles and fumbles with the top of Dolores's shorts, making quick work of the buttons. Dolores gets up to stand and pull them down but Lucy takes over, eager to get them off while trailing kisses down her stomach.

"Look at me." Dolores utters gripping a hold of Lucy's hair and turning her head to look up. "Keep your eyes on me." She gently pushes Lucy back onto the bed and brings her legs over her shoulders. Lucy gasps as she feels Dolores's lips slowly, teasingly leaving small kisses up her thigh. But she doesn't pull her gaze away from Dolores, obeying as best she can, fighting back her desire to squirm at the intensity of every touch. Unable to wait any longer, Dolores moves her underwear to the side and she flicks her tongue just once, testing Lucy's reaction, feeling pleased with herself as she whimpers her name.

"Dolores, please. Have you not teased me enough tonight?" Dolores gives in, immediately devouring her causing Lucy to arch her back, writhing under the pleasure. She was finding herself letting out sounds that almost sounded like laughter over how unexpectedly fantastic she felt. The stars painted above her on the ceiling of the van seemed to spin in circles and glow brighter as she rode the waves of pleasure coursing through her. She felt as if they were traveling through the cosmos just the two of them, becoming the stars themselves.

Dolores inserts a finger, pumping it deeply inside her as she continues the rapid flicks of her tongue.

"Look how wet and messy you've gotten, my queen." Dolores sits up and transitions to rubbing her lightly, enjoying the way the teasing touch made her squirm. Lucy lifts her back to rest on her elbows, looking frustrated at the vulnerable position she'd allowed herself to be in. She reaches for Dolores's arm pulling her to come closer and lays back again, allowing Dolores to climb overtop her face. Lucy didn't wait another moment before sinking her own tongue inside the woman above her, letting out a muffled moan against her skin. Dolores clung to the bed frame in front of her, struggling to maintain her balance.

"Call me your queen again." Lucy begs, gripping Dolores's thighs tightly.

"Who said you get to make orders?" Dolores teases, lowering herself to straddle Lucy's waist to regain charge.

"I'm always in charge!" Lucy fires back sassily, but Dolores simply laughs in response.

"Sure." Dolores grabs Lucy by the ankles and in a swift motion raises them above her head before ramming in three fingers.

"Fuck!" Lucy shouts and squeals in pleasure as Dolores curls her fingers inside her. Her motion was steady and fast and Lucy's nearing orgasm made the proposition of fighting back for control seem no longer a possibility. Not that she had any desire anymore to stop anyway. "Fuck yes, keep going, please." She whines desperately, her fingers gripping the paint splotched sheets beneath her.

"That's it." Dolores says, biting her lip and feeling satisfied with herself as Lucy reaches her climax. The sounds of her moans echo throughout the park and it was lucky no one was nearby to hear.

She wastes not a moment after cumming, still shaking from after shocks, and gets up to capture Dolores's mouth with hers. Their tongues meet battling for control as Lucy squeezes Dolores's hardened nipples tightly under the still mildly wet blue paint. She breaks away finally and spins Dolores around before swiftly bending her over so that she has full view and grasp of her butt. Grabbing a cheek in each hand, she spreads her apart and licks between her, effectively eliciting pleasant groans from Dolores. Lucy watches her fall apart at her touch, getting off more seeing her partner so utterly and wholly at her mercy.

"Tell me what you need, Dolores." Her voice was hoarse and stern. Lucy grips her ass tighter and smacks it experimentally, gauging Dolores's reaction closely. She recoils, surprised but pleasantly so.

"More of that, more of whatever you want to do to me." She cries, her voice partly muffled into the mattress.

"And you say you like to be in control." Lucy teases spanking her harder this time. She pushes her tongue back inside her while rubbing her clit with her thumb. "How adorable." Lucy giggles, pulling away and rubbing her clit harder as Dolores pushes back into her hand and muffling her screams as she begins to orgasm. Lucy doesn't let up, not wanting to get off their ride through the stars just yet and pumps her fingers into her. "We're not done yet." Lucy waves a finger with her free hand, smirking at the broken woman who was trembling on her hand. With her free hand she grabs Dolores's butt once more for support and kneels over her back, leaving kisses across her skin. She pounds her four drenched fingers into the woman over and over, wanting to see her unravel once more. Finally, Dolores lets out another groan, unable to contain her sounds as the tension releases down Lucy's hand.

"Mmm.." Lucy sighs, tasting a small lick off her finger and feeling quite accomplished with herself.

"My god.. you said you'd never been with a woman, was that right?" Dolores chuckles still collapsed on the bed and out of breath. Lucy lays beside her fatigued and drained all the same.

"Actually, I haven't been with anyone quite like that before." Lucy confesses, a little nervous she had ruined the magic of the moment.

"Wow. Uh what I mean to say is, I hope you don't regret it. I know we just met.. I," Lucy stops her.

"I wanted this and I do not regret it. I am unafraid and unashamed. And you've only helped me feel so more than ever." Her voice was soft and sincere.

"I'm glad." Dolores whispers, lifting her head to rest on her hand and better meet Lucy's gaze. "I had a great time, tonight. Not just this…" Dolores blushes. "But all of it.. We should do this again sometime. I could take you out on a real date." Lucy is quiet for a moment and averts her eyes embarrassed as she gets up, standing to pick her dress off the floor.

"Oh dear! It's gotten rather late. I should be getting home now before I risk arriving after my parents awake." She says sheepishly. The van suddenly felt cold from the late night Minnesota September air that streamed in from the windows. The stars had subsided, the old world had not perished, it remained. Not everything could be let go of and grieved in just a night.

"Is that not what you want?" Dolores quirks an eyebrow, twisting herself to sit upright now as Lucy redresses.

"It has been fun, you're right. And you're wonderful." Lucy's expression falls, rattled with guilt.

"But?" Dolores looks at her with a small smirk. Lucy opens her mouth but hesitates, unable to get the words out. "It's that boy isn't it?" The sounds of the stereo suddenly felt much louder among the silence.

"I'm sorry…" She says just above a whisper and still keeping her gaze to the ground. "This is not how I meant for this to end." Lucy buries her face in her hands, ashamed.

"Don't be sorry for how you feel. He must be very special to you.." Dolores pushes away the pain in chest. She wouldn't admit the sadness and rejection her heart held even to herself. Her empathy was wholeheartedly honest however. She was not upset with the girl she'd given herself to this night, nor with herself for failing so easily to resist such a temptation. Every moment had been pure and beautiful. And besides, she could always dump her temporary broken crush tears into her art for a few days.

Lucy didn't reply for a long moment as she reflected on the immensity of Schroeder's presence in her past; present; and, if her fantasies came true, her future.

"You really haven't a clue. I've known him all my life. And for all that time as far back as I can remember, I've been in love with him. I can't help it. It's not something I can explain." Lucy sighs frustrated with herself. "Though he is an artist of sorts as well, a musician, so maybe I just have a type." Lucy laughs, but it's hollow.

"I hope he realizes what he's missing." Dolores grins, finding Lucy's vulnerability and infatuation to be rather adorable as she begins throwing on her own clothes again.

"Heh. Maybe someday. I do want to see you again though, I really mean it. I would love to have you as a friend." Lucy looks at her hopefully. She really didn't want this to be the last they'd see of one another. Even if her heart belonged to another, she could feel they were kindred spirits of a sort. Both direct and uncompromising, unapologetic, unruly, untamed. But still with much to learn from one another.

"Oh of course. That's a given, linda."

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Chapter 4 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note):

- "Emmie" by Laura Nyro is considered the first Lesbian pop song and came out in 1968.

- Every other music artist mentioned as playing at Kirmser's comes straight from the June 1969 Stonewall Jukebox playlist. stonewallvets.org/songs1.gif  (Oh btw look at these pictures of Marsha P Johnson with Snoopy lol)

- Dolores went through a few evolutions. Her physical description and her being a painter as well as the long term role she has in the story has been established basically since her inception in my head 5 years ago, but figuring out her backstory, her motivations and values and also her name has evolved a lot. For almost all this time her name had been Bella as a placeholder for some reason, I have no memory of why I picked Bella but I did. I never really liked the name though and so when I shared this chapter with beta readers I asked them to share their thoughts on her name. One of them suggested the name Dolores after a forgotten Peanuts character from a piece of lost media. So she's like both canon and not at the same time. She came from film strips that were originally used in classrooms as educational content. You can read more about her in these sources: aaugh.com/wordpress/podcast/01-dolores-the-forgotten-latina-peanuts-character/ , aaugh.com/wordpress/2020/01/was-dolores-in-the-strip/ , peanuts.fandom.com/wiki/Dolores#cite_note-1 . You can also watch some of those film strips here: youtu.be/gkiuXs2C0Eg , youtu.be/Xyn1snvVPTk . With this suggestion of her name and background, I went ahead and changed her from black to black and Mexican (as Dolores is Mexican) and this also helped me better visualize her full back story which I was struggling to piece together a bit.

- Final note about Dolores. I mentioned she grew up in Santa Rosa, California. That is a nod to Charles Schulz living in Santa Rosa through the majority of his career through the end of his life.

- Oh, also. The painters that I mentioned that she's inspiried by. Go check out their work, it's gorgeous.

- So like I mentioned in the disclaimers, Kirmser's was a real bar that existed in St. Paul, Minnesota in the 40s-60s. Also if you forgot why I set this story in St. Paul it's because that's where Charles Schulz was born and grew up and also, as a result, many of the comic strips also feel like they could be set there or just in the Midwest generally. Kirmser's "was popular with blue-collar customers during the day, then became an unofficial home to working-class gay men and lesbians at night." It is largely remembered through the memoir by Ricardo J. Brown called 'The Evening Crowd at Kirmser's' which is a gay man's account about queer experience at the time in St. Paul.

- Kellogg Mall Park and Raspberry Island are of course real places but not just that, the walk I describe them taking is based on a real description of the walk from a real contemporary queer bar in St. Paul, Camp Bar and Cabaret, which has its own similarities to Kirmser's in the story (they host drag shows and have pool tables lol). But yea anyway, Camp Bar is like a 10min walk just a few blocks away from Kellogg Mall Park. Was this level of research for such a small detail necessary? Probably not hahaha.

- Henry Pucho Brown was a pivotal artist in the boogaloo movement which fused Latin, jazz, and funk during the 60s and was born out of NYC.

- I wish I could tell you why I felt the need to make Lucy bisexual in this story but I can't. I don't know, it just felt right for her lol. (3/2026 Edit: ok that’s really not true, I could probably write a whole little deep dive about this in of itself but that’s the kinda thing I’ll save for my companion piece which I’m thinking at this point I’m likely to make it as a tumblr page with all the bonus content and posts dedicated to discussing certain topics of the fic at length)

- I chose MDA as the a substance in this chapter because I knew I wanted some type of hallucinogen for the imagery and I knew I wanted something to bring Lucy on an even deeper emotional journey. Also I was thinking to myself earlier, why did I want to feature substances throughout this story besides just the setting of the 60s and I honestly don't know because when I started this, I didn't really have any personal experience. Now I love drugs lol I am a daily medical and recreational cannabis user and while I haven't yet had psychedelics, I definitely want to have experiences with them at some point. And so when I was doing research of this chapter and what substance to use and I asked around from people with experience, basically everything suggested Molly. Cuz well duh that does feel like an obvious choice given that the chapter started in a fairly queer club and it's also a "love drug". After more research, I found out MDMA (Molly) was not really recreationally available in 1969 but MDA was and so I learned about that and felt it was a good fit and that's how I chose it.

- Lowkey the only reason I have Lucy paint a lavender flower specifically is cuz lavender is the gay flower lol.

Chapter Text

(A//n: No disclaimers I can think of besides I want to clarify that the Jane Eyre scene is like 20 pages worth of Jane Eyre that I heavily condensed and rewrote in my own words with the exception of a few key lines kept the same or similar. I did not just straight up plagiarize Jane Eyre lol.)

Schroeder's eyes remained focused on the road yet still could see Lucy relaxed in the corner of his eye. She was looking off in her own land, as she often did, though Schroeder could sense she was immersed in thought today. She was resting her head out the rolled down window of the passenger side of his vehicle, appearing in a deeper daze than usual. As wonderful as the early autumn breeze must've felt rushing through Lucy's hair and effectively ruining the time she'd spent on it in front of the mirror this morning to craft the immaculate finger waves, he knew she wasn't simply enjoying the breeze for the sake of it. Something was off. She had been quieter this Monday morning and hadn't even come to bother him once all day while he played piano in the auditorium. Normally, she couldn't stop talking his ear off all morning nor leave him alone any other chance she got.

He had spent the weekend wondering when he would hear from her, it was fairly rare that he didn't at some point on the weekend whether it was her calling his house just to hear his voice or walking all the way over on her own accord just to hang around while he practiced. Typically, he could not escape her. When he didn't see or hear from her once, he felt like he could sense the anger radiating from her house a few blocks away. He decided to try and ignore it, but that was easier said than done. He had used nearly the whole weekend to continue practicing the tune she'd inspired when she marched away from him at Kirmser's. He found it difficult to think of much else while he spent the weekend cooped up in his room. He also couldn't escape his thoughts of her even while at his Sunday gig playing at the local family Italian restaurant, DeGidio's.

Schroeder took gigs from time to time to pay for his car and bills. He took no issue with getting his start as a "dinner music" pianist as many of the greats throughout history had. He also had no qualms with the thought of performing, in fact, he longed for the future of his career when he'd hopefully be trusted to lead and play in his own symphonies or as part of a traveling opera. He just wanted it to be truly under his own terms. But for now, he would have to tolerate what he could get to sustain himself. *April 29, 1962 strip reference*

He despised having to play anything outside of his passion, the classical genre, but especially having to play the rock n' roll hits of the day in exchange for money. He found it to be beneath him and stifling of his talent and he felt sick to his stomach at the idea of being a sellout. Oh how he loathed commercialization and the capitalist society, understanding it to be incompatible with the purpose of music and art as a whole. Yet he had long decided to try and accept the things out of his control the best he could and sought joy out of his local performances regardless. *May 1st, 1953 strip reference*

DeGidio's wasn't the only place he took gigs at, but it was the most consistent and the one that provided him with the most freedom to space out most of the time. Playing at DeGidio's definitely wasn't anything unbearable compared to some of the other jobs he'd taken. The light was dim across the patrons while the spotlight shone intensely on himself. He and the piano were placed next to the large window beside the sidewalk, highlighting the live music to pedestrians. He enjoyed glasses of wine and appetizers-a-plenty throughout his evenings and he wasn't expected to speak much to customers nor avoid taking the occasional smoke break. All in all, he couldn't complain about much besides the genre requirements. Though he was allowed to throw in a classical piece here and there and took advantage as often as he could, careful not to push his luck too much.

As the hours went on throughout his evening at DeGidio's on Sunday, time felt as if it was dragging on more and more. For the longer it had been since he heard from Lucy, the more uncomfortable he became. She should've shown up to sit with me by now. She would've gone to my house and asked my mom where I was knowing she'd tell her. Her voice rang in his ear the whole day as he played. Her absence and his fear of her anger haunted him. He was irritated enough as it was at how much of his mind she occupied on a daily basis.

"So are you gonna tell me where you ran off to at Kirmser's the other night?" He questions after an eternity. She doesn't react or even appear to hear him and Schroeder darts his eyes to her, anxiously awaiting a response. "Look Luc, I'm sorry I hurt your—" He starts, his voice beginning to drip with guilt. Forcing an apology out of his chest for Lucy was always a painful endeavor.

"Oh, I just met a new friend and we hung out for the night." Lucy interrupts finally and sits back in her seat, pulling herself back to the present with a content grin.

"Oh." Did… she not actually wonder about me at all? "Well alright. I was worried you'd left angry." He glances to asses her expression which remained unchanged and resolves to move on. "So how'd you meet this new friend?"

"Oh well she's a painter and we just got to talking about her art I guess… and yeah. That was all really." Lucy trails off, her gaze traveling back out the window. As they sit at a red light, Schroeder eyes her suspiciously. He could see right through her like he always did and knew she was holding back, but he decides it's not worth prying and brushes it off.

"How did the rest of your night go?" Lucy asks, turning back to look at him and plastering on a gleeful smile.

"Oh you know, I overdid it a bit like everyone else. Though I suppose that was kind of the point… Your brother and I chatted pretty late and everyone else cried at the table for longer than I even stayed. Then, I got home and started practicing something I'm working on." He left out the part that the 'something' was birthed by her attitude or that he'd spent the whole night and weekend musing about her and the melody.

"That's lovely. I can't wait to have you play it for me when you're ready." Lucy chimes in her typical flirtatious manner. It becomes quiet between them again, the air a bit stiff with all left unsaid as the pair each held in their own contemplations.

Schroeder navigates through the neighborhood located no more than just a few blocks away from each of their homes. Schroeder had driven Lucy to and from school with him today as he always did, but in this case, he wasn't dropping her off at home or failing to deter her from tagging along for his own adventures. Tonight, she was to attend a sleepover at Violet's house with all the other girls from their group: Patty, Sally, Marcie, Peppermint, Eudora, and Frieda. This was far from the first of such events. They had all grown up hanging out at each other's houses quite often and it had only gotten easier as they got older and gained more freedom. This night simply was Violet's turn to host.

As Schroeder worked on parallel parking the car, Lucy fumbles with the hem of her dress smoothing it out absentmindedly as she chews on the thoughts swirling in her mind. She had spent the weekend doing her own share of reflecting. Despite her exhaustion upon arriving home after her time with Dolores, she never fell asleep that night. Instead, she lie awake, gazing up at the moon, and attempting to count the stars. She had done this all her life when she couldn't sleep, her mind too loud and busy and angry. It worked on occasion, but this was not one of those times. Voices echoed in her mind.

"Schroeder, how come you don't ever get me any presents?" Lucy asks, sliding up beside Schroeder as he sat at the piano. It was her 12th birthday, and all she had wished for when blowing out her candles that day was a gift from her immortal beloved.

"Because I think you're loud, mean, rude, and overbearing." He answers uncaring without bothering to look up from his sheet music. *October 15th, 1965 strip reference*

On another occasion that she didn't quite remember the exact time of as she had countless similar conversations with him, she pleaded earnestly, "you say we'll never be married.. Well why not? Give me some reasons."

"I don't like you, you're crabby all the time and you're too bossy!" *January 4th, 1972 strip reference*

"O' moon, what is matter with me? Why must I long for a man who doesn't even like me a little? Have I no self respect?" Lucy cries out over the ache in her heart.

"He must be very special to you.." Dolores remarks sympathetically.

Lucy didn't reply for a long moment as she reflected on the immensity of Schroeder's presence in her past; present; and, if her fantasies were to come true, her future.

"You really haven't a clue. I've known him all my life. And for all that time as far back as I can remember, I've been in love with him. I can't help it. It's not something I can explain." Lucy sighs frustrated with herself.

Schroeder's smile flashed in her mind. Her earliest memory followed. She could not recall anything in life nor that day before that moment. Not whose house she was at nor why she walked into the room, not what she'd been told about him beforehand if anything, not anything else that she had done that day. But that one moment was entirely vivid in her memory. The sunset was coming through a window, shining a warm light on a little blonde boy who sat in front of a ruby red toy piano, his little fingers expertly tapping away at miniature keys. A harmonious melody filled the room and time stood still. She was sure she had encountered an angel. Her mouth hung agape as she bravely took a step forward, feeling as though she was an alien stepping foot on a new world for the first time.

He did not look up once which only contributed to his mystique and he didn't realize she had entered or that she was approaching him, uncontrollably magnetized. Lucy said not a word as she watched intently. She was absolutely enamored as she climbed up on top the piano, eager to greet a still clueless Schroeder.

"Ahem," she said and the boy startled, finally discovering the smiling girl in front of him. She immediately ran off giggling. "He noticed me, he noticed me! I've never been so happy in all my life!" Her whole 3 years of life that was. That moment had played over and over in her mind more times than the stars she counted now in the sky above through her window. *May 30th, 1953 strip reference*

"I am courageous, I am intelligent, I am beautiful, I know who I am. I don't think I'm mean... Am I too mean and crabby? I guess I could try to change myself if I worked really hard.." She pauses and huffs frustratedly. "Oh how I'd hate to give the rest of the world any satisfaction in changing me! I don't want to change for him nor any man or woman!" She declares and wipes away an angry tear that dares to slide down her cheek. *May 14th, 1964 strip reference*

"Schroeder, do you really think I'm mean like you've always said?" Lucy forces the question out finally. The man's mouth falls open as he finishes putting the car in park. He turns to look at Lucy who is still avoiding his eyes.

"Lucy.. What-why bring this up? C'mon don't do this to me right as I'm dropping you off?" He whines frustratedly. Lucy meets his gaze now as he looks at her puzzled.

"It's fine, forget it. I think you've said enough. It's alright." She turns to get out of the car, carrying her overnight bag that had rested on the floor by her feet. She tries to hide her disappointment, but it was entirely evident to Schroeder. Her face had fallen quite dramatically. Lucy was far from a bad actress… usually.

"Lucy… wait." Schroeder protests weakly, but the girl is already gone and ringing the doorbell to Violet's house. The door swings open with a flood of excited greetings rapidly ushering her inside and away from the boy.

"Goddammit, Luc." Schroeder mutters under his breath as he pulls the car away. What was that all about? He decides not to let it bother him for the time being. He was too elated to get to practice with his mentor and get feedback on his composition to risk being late. It wasn't long before he had arrived and begun his session with Dr. Guaraldi.

"So, young man. Have you fulfilled your assignment? What have you brought for me?" She asks, her voice challenging him.

"I have. It didn't take long before I had a few notes to start from and I've been expanding and revising all weekend. What I have now is, I suppose, about a 5 minute rough draft of a sonata." He reports confidently.

"Spectacular. Play it." She orders simply and prepares her paper and braille slate for notes. Schroeder reaches into his satchel placed on the floor by the leg of the piano and pulls out a small messy stack of papers.

"I can hear your disorganization, Mr. Berdahl. We've discussed this." She gently scolds.

"Apologies, ma'am." He had hurriedly thrown his papers and folders inside his case when packing up in the auditorium this afternoon due to losing track of time working on it.

Schroeder takes a deep breath and plays the first keys with his exhale. He performs carefully and delicately yet still with a boom in intensity through the growing crescendos and the tense alternating of octaves that reminisced of the racing of Schroeder's heart when Lucy had pressed her finger to his lips, stopping him from giving her a reluctant kiss. Dr. Guaraldi listens thoughtfully, her expression unreadable as she takes her time, punching her notes in silence. Schroeder forces himself to remain calm and composed through the length of his piece. His experience crafting his own music was limited but he believed in himself, his talents, and his worship of Beethoven as well as trusted his professor to critique him fairly. He only felt excited by the thought of growing and saw his failures as mere stepping stones. Besides this though, he also believed in his piece. In its sharpness and boldness, its crassness yet sophistication.

Schroeder keeps his head bowed as he holds the final note until it fades into soft silence with an undecipherable allure, leaving off at a point of uncertainty on the next notes as well as the next point in the story.

"Alright, I have my comments and we'll get into them, but I'm definitely not disappointed, never am with you, Mr. Berdahl." Dr. Guaraldi begins. "It was dynamic, it had such attitude and yet felt so romantic—" she reads her notes and swoons with conviction.

"Romantic?" Schroeder raises his eyebrow. "I'm not sure if I was really going for romantic." He chuckles uncomfortably.

"Well, I definitely felt like I sensed some longing and intensity. During the second segment through at least halfway through the piece, you used such expanded dissonance and made clever use of arpeggios and so that all really shined to me the entirety. What emotions were you going for exactly?" She presses, readying herself to take down more notes.

Schroeder mulls over her thoughts, pondering them deeply as he reflected on his creative processes. He couldn't find the words he was looking for, no defense that accurately argued against the romantic motifs. This was typical of Schroeder who was used to expressing himself through his music yet when communicating his feelings, found himself at a loss for words. "You know, I suppose romantic is fine. It doesn't mean anything." He resolves, shrugging his shoulders and clearing his throat.

"Huh. What do you mean by that, young man?" She scrunches her nose at him suspiciously.

"Oh nothing. So what other comments did you have?" He changes the subject and instinctively avoids Dr. Guaraldi's stern stare despite her inability to actually see his flushed cheeks. She could definitely still feel them, but she decides to dismiss it for this time.

"Well at the midway point and before the shift in mood, it's right before the phrase with the descent into the F pitch…" She dives straight in with her critiques and questions, elaborating on her interpretations and curiosities of his imagination.

"Yea…" he wrote his own notes as she spoke, listening intently. "Yea, ok I see what you're saying about that, but I think it works because it brings a more harsh contrast and that elevates the brutality." Schroeder describes, waving his fist for emphasis.

"Brutality you say? Interesting. I don't think I was getting much of that.." Dr. Guaraldi considers, tapping her finger to her chin.

"Not a hint of arrogance maybe?" He adds, biting his lip and beginning to fret that he may not have concocted the piece he thought he had.

"Schroeder, what story were you wanting to tell with this? That's really what this is all about right? We fucking know you can play piano! But what do you feel? And what do you want to say with it?!" She bangs her hand on the table and speaks with the powerful voice she'd acquired from her years commanding the attention as a professor in classes of over 200. Schroeder remains silent, his thoughts loud yet too jumbled to make sense of. What did he want the story to be? Perhaps he'd not put as much thought into the piece yet as he believed he had. "We will discuss your storytelling more next time." Dr. Guaraldi claps her hands and sighs. "Now, let us move on and revisit chromatic mediant with 'Winterreise.'"

+ + +

That evening the girls were all dressed in matching violet pajamas as they crouched on the couch and floor on their sleeping bags. The light from the movie Romeo and Juliet projected onto the cement basement wall was all that illuminated the dark room and the girls' glamorously decorated faces. They were approximately seven hours, two movies, a few dozen vodka sodas, a pack of cigarettes, and three pizzas into the night and all their attention now was on the face of Juliet as Romeo first laid his eyes upon her from across the ball.

"She doth teach the torches to burn bright. It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night as a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear; beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear. So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows, as yonder lady o'er her fellow shows. Did my heart love till now? Forswear it sight, for I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

The girls had fallen into this silent trance only after having completed each other's hair and makeup, and they had been in the process of doing their nails, but had long since forgotten about them which left a few of the ladies with only one painted hand.

The afternoon had begun with the girls gathered in the kitchenette, crying together for awhile over the parting of their friend, Shermy. However, it wasn't long before their topic of conversation had transitioned to the rest of their night the previous Friday at Kirmser's.

"Where did you end up, Lucy? Schroeder couldn't find you? Did you hangout with the girl you met? What was her name again?" Violet inquisted before the council of women from the kitchen, pulling a pair of chocolate pies out of the open. Lucy felt the weight of their collective gaze fall to her as she hurried to figure out how she wished to reply.

"Oh yea. Actually... we rather fancied each other I must say.." All the women's eyes' grow wide, their jaw dropping at the revelation. They rushed to begin shooting questions at Lucy left and right desperate to convince her to reveal further details, but Lucy was not prepared to divulge anything more. She was still processing the events herself. She held her hand up silencing them at once. "All I'll say is…" She leaned in conspiratorially towards her friends who followed the movement, eager for whatever portion of her story she'd share with them. "A lady never reveals her secrets." She pushed her finger to her lip in the motion of a whisper, giggling at herself as the other girls groan in unison.

By dinner, they were sitting on Violet's back patio and speaking of each of their starts to the autumn season. Lucy was in the yard, scouring for a fallen leave. After finally spotting a perfect yellow one near the edge of the fence, she plucked it off the ground and brought it back with her to the table with her friends.

"I always dress and save the first autumn leaf." She announced, holding it proudly. *October 1st, 1955 strip reference*

"Boy do I hate being back at school, I tell ya!" Sally complains stomping her foot on the ground. "I don't even see the point. Violet, Patty, Peppermint, Marcie. You've all graduated. Tell me, after I graduate, will I be a better person for it?"

"Nope." Peppermint replies instantaneously, but Marcie simultaneously jumps to speak over her.

"Of course, Sally. A good education is important!" She asserts. *September 7th, 1993 strip reference*

"I heard there's a rumor going around that I maybe named 'outstanding employee of the year' at my caddying job!" Peppermint Patty declares with enthusiasm and pride.

"That's interesting, babe. I heard a rumor that the moon is going to fall out of the sky." Marcie cracked wittily, struggling to contain her laugh. Peppermint huffs to herself and rolls her eyes. *May 21st, 1997 strip reference*

The sun had set and they had gotten dressed in their matching purple nightgowns gifted graciously by their host by the time they enjoyed their first cigarettes on the patio surrounded by the glow of the last of the year's nightly fireflies. Now they had moved on to discussing their respective present romantic interests, a subject they always made a distinct point to touch on every sleepover for any 'updates.' Lucy's dearest always remained the same of course, sleepover after sleepover, year over year. That did not stop her from gushing just the same as each of the girls did nor from everyone else listening into her fawning just as intently. Her infatuation remained as fervent and hyperfixated as anyone with a new intense crush. The girls also attempted to dig for more information on what had happened with the mystery woman she had left Kirmser's with, but Lucy simply shrugged them off.

"You know me, breaking hearts left and right." She jokes halfheartedly. "I told her we should just be friends. I found myself.. unable to forget Schroeder. Very surprising, I know." Everyone else groaned, longing for the day Lucy's heart would find peace as they had been listening to her pining after the same man for the better part of two decades. They weren't blind like the two of their friends. They saw the love between them as clearly as the night sky above them.

Throughout much of the rest of the night though, Lucy's thoughts remained far away from the present and she found herself time and time again losing track of the conversation and opting to keep quiet. She was still deep in reflection about the same things she'd been dwelling on all weekend; her continued attachment to Schroeder, how she viewed herself underneath her perfect image, her true hopes and desires for her future. Was she really as mean and unbearable as he had always said? She couldn't accept it.

The whole bunch of them were now silent as sleepiness crept closer the later the night went on and they were completely engrossed in the film.

"You doing alright?" Violet leans over to whisper to Lucy on the couch.

"Yea." Lucy replies just loud enough for only Violet to hear her over the movie dialogue.

"Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say ay, and I will take thy word; yet if thou swearest, thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries they say jove laughs. O gentle Romeo, if thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully."

"You're not very convincing. What are you thinking about?" She pries.

"Would you punch me if I said Schroeder?" Lucy confesses embarrassed.

"What is it this time?"

"Just… oh Violet!" She wails, still whispering so to keep their voices low enough to not disturb the others focused on the movie. "Aren't I desirable?! Am I really so repulsive? Am I as mean as he says?! Oh Violet, why won't he like me back?" She buries her face in her hands. "I'm tired of thinking about all these great love stories in my head about us!" Violet listens sympathetically, holding Lucy's hand.

"Oh, Lucy. He doesn't think those things about you, none of us do. I swear it. Schroeder is just… well, an idiot. We all see the way he looks at you, listen to the way he talks about you. He's just incompetent and stupid as are all men. You've been pining for years, and that's so painful to carry. But it's all going to work out in the end, you'll see. It has to." She assures quietly. Lucy notices her eyes wandering to Patty who sat near the coffee table next to others, still deeply engaged along with the others. Lucy doesn't reply, observing the yearning in Violet's eyes. Oh… Lucy squeezes her hand back, shooting her a smile.

"You're right. It will." Lucy grins warmly and wraps her friend in a hug. They sit back to tune into the movie once more, letting themselves escape into the story and the night drift away.

+++

It was the next morning and Schroeder had made a point to get to Violet's house bright and early, ready to pick up Lucy as soon as she was ready so not to disappoint her more than he already had. To his surprise though, the punctual perfectionist was running quite behind that morning, along with the whole crew, after their alarms had failed to awake any of the sleep deprived and hungover friends.

Schroeder's eyes dart up from his spot sitting in his car as the front door opens and a freshly pampered Lucy steps out onto the porch into the harsh sunrise. She was still wearing the satin lavender nightgown from the night before along with her cat-eye sunglasses to block out the bright light. She strolls slowly to the car, feeling the weight of the alcohol and lack of sleep as she sluggishly opens the car door and steps inside.

"Morning, Schroeder." She attempts in her normal joyful morning voice, but she couldn't quite muster it as she reaches for her seatbelt and buckles herself in.

"Well looks like someone didn't do much sleeping did they?..." He teases just above a whisper. She shakes her head and keeps her indifferent tired face turned away. "Were you planning on changing in the car?" He quips, laughing at her unfinished condition.

"I'm just going to put a dress that I packed on over my nightie. I didn't wear this for you," she snarls. "I just ran out of time this morning." It was obvious she had not forgotten their last interaction and she wasn't ready to be over it.

"Lucy, about yesterday—"

"You don't need to say anything more. I know what you think of me. You make it perfectly clear all the time." Her voice cracks, betraying her attempt to maintain the dignity she clung on to. She pulls her sunglasses off and nods decisively at the boy.

"Lucy, stop. God, you're really going to make me say it, aren't you? No.. I don't think you're mean." Schroeder admits, his mind shooting back to earlier.

"—Yea, ok I see what you're saying about that but I think it works because it brings a more harsh contrast and that elevates the brutality." Schroeder describes, waving his fist for emphasis.

"Brutality you say? Interesting. I don't think I was getting much of that.." Dr. Guaraldi considers, tapping her finger to her chin.

"Not a hint of arrogance maybe?" He adds, biting his lip and beginning to fret that he may not have concocted the piece he thought he had.

Oh you stupid idiot, Schroeder..

"You don't have to just say that—" Lucy scoffs, impatient and grumpy and hungover all at once.

"I'm not!" He insists defensively. "You are temperamental! You are abrasive! You are frustrating and stubborn as all hell! And you are blunt and ill-mannered and perhaps slightly unhinged sometimes.." Lucy eyes him, sneering and crossing her arms across her chest, not yet hearing the point he was getting to. "But no, you're not mean or brutal or selfish or anything of the sort. Maybe… you were a tad destructive and a little bit of a terror as a child," he laughs beside himself and Lucy rolls her eyes. "But there is no one else like you in this world! You're so strong and sure of yourself to a fault, and you're loyal.. the very very most loyal... and so protective especially of Linus and Rerun, and-and-and you're so— sweet and tender when you want to be." He stutters, holding himself back from saying more, his expression pained. The air was tense and thick between them, the words ringing in their ears. Schroeder swallows, suddenly extremely aware of just how much he'd complimented her. He clears his throat and looks away, returning his expression to his typical nonchalance.

"So, are you ready to cheer up please and get to school now?" He asks expectantly, eager to move past the spat as well as his flattery. He didn't want her holding it over him. She nods, holding back her smile and trying her best not to let it go to her head too much. But she would not be able to help the butterflies in her stomach the rest of the drive. No matter his intention, his charm never failed to make her fall for him everyday as it had their entire lives. "Also, I brought you this." He picks up a hot disposable cup out of the cup holder and passes it off to her as he begins to pull away from the parking spot.

"What's this?" Lucy asks.

"Your tea."

"Awwww, Schroeder you do care!" Lucy's demeanor switches up instantly at the gesture.

"I just didn't want you to take your hangover anger out on me is all!" He brushes her off, avoiding her giddy smile. "Now get dressed! Before someone sees you in your sleepies." He shakes his head clear and attempts to focus on the road. *May 25th, 1952 strip reference*

Lucy hurries into the bag on her lap. She fishes for her stockings and reaches to the floor for her toes, sliding them out of her short heels. She slides them onto both feet and Schroeder grips the steering wheel, feeling his face flush as she wiggles them up her legs, carefully sliding them up her hips without letting her nightie rile up her thighs too much. Get a hold of yourself, Schroeder. Next she pulls two dresses halfway out of her bag and eyes them both, considering. Schroeder steals a glance for a second as he stops for a stop sign and catches sight of a red summer dress.

"Wear the red one." He states, forcing an uncaring apathetic tone despite hoping dearly that she'd choose his suggestion.

"Of course, darling. Always want to look my best for you." She enthusiastically blows him a kiss which he ignores. She slides the dress over her head, careful not to disturb the curls she'd perfected before leaving.

Lastly, she pulls out her makeup essentials. She expertly applies her Elizabeth Arden black liquid eyeliner in the dash mirror in spite of the bumps in the road and powders her cheeks and nose with her rouge blush. She paints her lips with her House of Westmore Garnet lip pomade which draws the distracted eyes of Schroeder. "I know you can't resist to watch my love but I must ask that you keep your eyes on the road," she teases, smirking and Schroeder forces his eyes away. He pretends not to hear the comment or to have been watching to begin with and refocuses himself on his driving. Finally, she pulls out a pair of pearl stud earrings to complete her get up just in time for their arrival at school.

"You better not make it a habit of doing all that in my car." He warns as he pulls to a stop in the drop off lane so to let her out as she was already running late, but she pays no mind to him.

"See you soon, darling!" She calls to him as she rushes out of his car to hurry to class, leaving Schroeder to shake his head and pull away to find a parking spot.

At a half past noon, Lucy was on her lunch period. She rarely stayed in the cafeteria, nearly always opting to take advantage of the free period to be a bother to Schroeder. She lay upon the piano as she had for years. Her body is turned away from him, but her head lay close enough that a rare few strands of hair tended to dangle above the sheet music that sat above the keys. She has a book in hand rested on her chest and her legs bent and crossed so that they didn't hang off the edge. The stage lights hanging above illuminate and warm them in the cold dark school theater, allowing them each to comfortably read their respective papers. Schroeder plays Mahler's 'Adagietto', only occasionally glancing at the actual music as he did his best to follow along with the dozens of scribbled notes he'd written in the margins. Lucy reads Jane Eyre, finding herself fully transported into the story with the backdrop of Schroeder's music and the hum of the piano beneath her, providing ambiance to the far off world.

The evening was dark and the air was cold as a sprinkling of rain fell down. I walked on foot the final mile of my journey to the old and simple yet decrepit estate. When I arrived, I saw it was surrounded by overgrown grass and foliage. I passed through the iron gates and followed a path that appeared rarely used as it was barely beaten. Eventually, I happened upon a quite desolate spot, that which had once been the flourishing house belonging to Mr. Berdahl.

The door opened for me slowly and there he was; his hair was still the color of sunshine, his form still one of strength and athleticism. However, I could now see sorrow and brokenness within him. I remained silent until he left, knowing he could not see me, and I snuck to the kitchen to speak with his maid.

"Please Mary, if he will not see me, let me carry this tray to him and speak with him!" I pleaded. She reluctantly complied. I quietly tip toed into the bleak parlor, observing Schroeder sat in his chair near the fireplace.

"My water, Mary. Please." He requested.

"Here you are," I handed it to him, my voice practically trembling.

"You're not Mary!" He accused. "Who is this??" He demanded angrily. "Speak once more!"

"It's only me, Schroeder. I only came this evening." I replied sweetly, trying and failing to hold back my tears. He reached for my hands, tenderly caressing every inch of them and he gasped.

"Dear God, does my mind betray me? Have I gone mad with longing? Is it really you, Lucy?"

"My dear, Schroeder. I have come back to you." I confessed, weeping.

"Oh Lucy, how I have felt such misery in your absence. Oh how I've longed for you, my love." Schroeder reached up to brush my hair behind my ear, cupping my face close to him.

"And I shall never leave you again." I pressed my lips to his, desperate to feel his touch after all this time apart.

"Is it truly you, Lucy? Have you seriously returned to me?" Schroeder cried against me as he clung to my dress, never wanting to let go of his grasp on me again.

"I have."

"Did you not die or lie outcast?"

"No, Mr. Berdahl. I am an independent woman now. I have happened upon my own fortune and we may live in comfort forever after." I shot back, revealing proudly.

"I had never dared dream of such a delight." He laughed through his tears.

"I thought you would be revolted when you took sight of me, Lucy." He shook his head, pained by his thoughts.

"Must you think so low of me, darling? I shall not leave you." He kissed me once more and I pulled him closer, soothing his cries.

"Lucy, will you marry me?"

"Yes, sir."

"Truly, Lucy? You will?" He repeated again in disbelief.

"Most truly, sir. Mr. Berdahl, to be your wife is, for me, to be as happy as I can be on earth." Reader, I married him.

Schroeder finds his eyes wandering away from his music and up to the girl in front of him. He could hear the wheels of her imagination turning around in her mind and he wished he could explore what fascinating happenings existed within. Focus. He looks to the sheet of music again, but it wasn't long before his eyes unconsciously gaze up to her thighs. Her dress was slipping down as her legs remained crossed and he swore he could see the lacy top of her stockings.

His finger slips to the wrong key which pulls Lucy back to the present. She doesn't look away from her book but she had been listening to Schroeder play for her whole life and often noticed instantly when he made a slight. Then it happened again. "Shit," he curses under his breath, intending to have kept that in his head. What's distracting him? Lucy wonders.

Schroeder takes a deep breath before starting again. But he instantly knows it isn't right and stops abruptly. To this, Lucy finally stops reading though she pretends to continue and not be listening. Schroeder sighs before placing his hands above the keys once more. This time he disregards the music in front of him and allows his eyes to wander over the girl that took up his entire vision, making it impossible to focus on anything else. At least that was the excuse he told himself. He picks keys slowly, intentionally, as his eyes caress her skin. He let instincts take over and guide his fingers as his thoughts wander about the depths of Lucy's mind, his melody illustrating his visions of her.

"Doing a little practicing, huh? That's good. I'm glad to see you think about the future." Young cheeky Lucy jabbered to him. "What if you and I got married someday, Schroeder, and you became a famous concert pianist? And what if we traveled all over the world while you performed with great orchestras in foreign lands?" Schroeder continued playing, fighting his hardest to ignore her as she continued. "And what if, right at the height of your career, you broke both of your arms while skiing, and could never play the piano again and I had to go to work in a laundry to support us?" Finally, he stopped and looked at her dumbfounded by the inner workings of her mind and its crazed inventions. "Wouldn't that be romantic?" *October 3rd, 1965 strip reference*

His fingers gingerly discover new measures as he submits his creation to the whims of his heart. His eyes roam her silhouette and his mind loses itself in a distant realm. Lucy listens attentively to the lovely and endearing notes for awhile, determined to understand what he was doing or where this unique tune was coming from. However, after some time—time that she was sure was shorter than it felt—she shrugs it off to return to her book.

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Chapter 5 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note):

- DeGidio's is a real place as is basically every named location going forward. It has existed since 1933, making it one of the oldest businesses in St. Paul and I also was able to confirm they host live piano music at least sometimes. Also it used to have ties to the mob haha. https://degidios.com/about

- That "dinner music" strip reference was adapted in the 2014 Italian Peanuts series episode "Classic" which you can watch here: https://youtu.be/H8n_vysJszo?feature=shared another similar plotline shows up in "Play It Again, Charlie Brown" from 1971 which unfortunately I couldn't find a clip of the full thing on YouTube prob cuz of bitch ass Apple copyrighting nor could I find the full special on my pirating sites.

- When I mention Lucy counting stars, this was actually a reoccurring gag. Also tried counting snowflakes and raindrops lol. I was really tempted to list out references after that paragraph but opted to put some of them here instead: 1, 2, 3, 4, and there's still much more.

- "Immortal beloved" as I'm sure at least some of you know, is the name of the the movie about Beethoven and a woman he was in love with.

- Lucy's "earliest memory" of Schroeder is not the first time they met in the strip. I accidentally misremembered that it was when I wrote that scene but when I realized my mistake I didn't even care because I just liked this better and it was still one of the very earliest anyway. But here is their actual first “romantic encounter” I forget what their very first meeting is I’ll have to look that up later and edit it back in.

- Just wanna shoutout all the pianists on Reddit and discord who beta read these scenes for me sometimes cuz boy do I not have an absolute clue what I'm doing otherwise. That scene with him playing for Dr. Guaraldi and her critiquing him was suchhhh a headache lol.

- Omg I gotta say something about Romeo and Juliet (1968). First of all, LOVEEEE. Second of all omfg it took me so long to decide what movie they were gonna watch like I figured that out wayyy late last night and I'm typing this a few hours before I publish. But while I was doing research for this and the next chapter, I found out the night of the moon landing in July 1969, drive in movie theaters all over the place played Romeo and Juliet and omg I just thought that was such a cute and neat historical fact and omg it makes me want to write a one shot of them at the drive in the night of the moon landing. So maybe that'll be something that comes in my companion piece we'll see.

- Omg Lucy does that thing with the leaves reoccurringly too. Man I love all her silly little quirks so much. This is what I mean when I say people misunderstand her and reduce her down to this simple ol bully. But she's so like delusional and unhinged in such an innocent and endearing way lol. And she's so much more complex than just being crabby and mean. She's got a lot of wonderful traits and I didn't like plan to make this chapter about that and a defense of her I guess but as I'm typing this now I feel like I kinda used this chapter to do that haha. But yea she's my favorite Peanuts character. I will defend her always lol.

- VIOLET AND PATTYYYYY AHHHHHH. Oh also, Violet pulling a chocolate pie out of the oven is a nod to her "mud pie" obsession in the strips. 

- Ok so all makeup used is the same makeup used by Marilyn Monroe. So if you've been here a long time and read chapter 1 pre edits, you may remember the line: "She had made herself into a pin-up, a raven haired Marilyn Monroe, the epitome of what every woman was told they should look like." Well that is one of the few lines I've changed and it now is "She had made herself into a pin-up with a strong resemblance to Hedy Lamarr or Ava Gardner or a raven haired Rita Hayworth, the epitome of what every woman was told they should look like." I told myself years ago the line with Marilyn Monroe was mostly just a placeholder until I did more research into old Hollywood beauty icons to base Lucy's appearance off of, well I finally did it but I also kinda fell in love with learning about Marilyn Monroe especially through Erin Parsons, that makeup artist and historian on social media. So every single makeup item used by Lucy is exactly what Marilyn Monroe used and I plan to keep the Marilyn references coming fs.

- You would not believe how goddamn long I took to decide just the color dress she was gonna put on. For literally no freaking reason other than I dwell on every single minute detail of this fic lol. I have not decided as of the time of typing this.

- Omg Mahler's 'Adagietto'. So firstly, I unfortunately don't really remember why I picked this piece for here besides the fact that it was a romantic but I feel like there was more to it than that, I don't know. If I remember, I’ll edit this to say what the reasoning was. But anyway, random and unimportant story and note about this. I chose that piece for that line and then the following day I learned that the Minnesota Orchestra was changing their program for that weekend and going to be playing it in light of the murders of Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti. And then I learned this piece is widely recognized as a symbol of national tragedy which is the reason why. I just thought that was interesting and wanted to share.

- Omg it was soooo fun writing what was basically a mini Jane Eyre au one shot within this chapter lol. I had never read the book nor watched the movies before doing research for this but I definitely had a fun time going down that rabbit hole and reading portions of the book and watching a few scenes from the movie adaptions. I enjoyed writing this so much, really this whole chapter which to me was very experimental in a lot of ways, leaning into more abstract stylistic choices I like to make, but I'm also not so sure how it'll be received. I'm worried people will think it's all over the place or trying to do too much at once but I gotta remember I wrote this for me and I'm still really proud of it.

- Going along with that, I'll give my final thoughts on this chapter as a whole because it was just a really really difficult one. So 'Stories' was the repeating motif throughout of course. The stories we share and the ones we keep to ourselves, the stories we tell others versus the stories we tell ourselves, the stories we fantasize about and the stories we hold dear. Telling stories through art and great love stories throughout time. And while I at first started unintentionally wanting to reference a lot of strips, I felt like doing that also really fit well with the theme because every single strip is a story in of itself and I think referencing strips just adds so much extra color to this fic. And then also I repeatedly used a technique that I loveeee called in media res (Latin for 'in the middle of things') which is basically when stories are told non-linearly through flashbacks (sometimes multiple flashbacks within flashbacks) or alternatively through forward flashes. Basically jumping around through time rather than telling everything chronologically. I did it in the beginning a little with Schroeder flashing back to the weekend and Lucy flashing back to her staring up at the stars in bed and then flashing back to several other memories within that flashback. And then of course I continued more throughout. This technique is ancient and famously used in famous epic poetry like The Illiad and The Odyssey as well as with some of Shakespeare's works and the Divine Comedy and The Tell-Tale Heart. So this also all keeps with the theme of referencing these world renouned classic masterpieces along with Romeo and Juliet and Jane Eyre. I like to imagine Schroeder and Lucy are up there as one of the great love stories of all time hahaha. Anyway, yea this chapter was soooo much fun. I hope you were able to enjoy it as much as I did but if it wasn't for you my baddd.

- Omg one last thing about the Jane Eyre scene! I don't know if any of you have seen the show Daria, if you haven't you definitely should watch it like yesterday. But anyway, there's an episode called 'Write Where it Hurts' with something similar where Daria is trying to write a story with people in her real life but she ends up just writing stories that already exist and so you just basically watch Daria and the other characters in au's of those stories for most of the episode and it's reallly entertaining and that's where I got this idea from. I wish I could link like a good collection of pics from the episode but I can't find one so you'll just have to go watch it!

Chapter Text

(A//n: Please stick around for the author's note at the end if you want to hear about future upload plans. Happy Valentine's Day angels!!! I hope you enjoy the next 10,765 words of the most indulgent romance you've seen yet. Also get this, we got a playlist y'all. This is specifically for a certain section so you can either wait for that section which will be indicated with a star emojis ⭐, or you can have it on the whole chapter it's up to you. One of the top comments has timestamps so don't fret. The specific songs from this playlist, I recommend are "My Heart Belongs to You" at 2:42, "Wonderful Girl" at 5:20, "I Love How You Love Me" at 10:05, "You Belong to Me" at 14:50, "Dreamy Eyes" at 25:15, "Where or When" at 27:35, "I Love You So" at 30:11, and "Earth Angel" at 35:03. You also don't have to stick to these songs, they're just my favorite and I didn't have time to make my own playlist. I will definitely do that eventually though, keep it simpler, and when I do, I will edit this note).

The September air was cool and crisp. The sky was painted with mesmerizing oranges and yellows and the lingering rays of sunshine and heat provided a much needed warmth. The gang had all congregated this Wednesday evening after school and work at the Minnehaha drive-in theater and sat together in the grass for a group dinner before the movie. They occasionally got together at the drive-in on Wednesdays to take part in the weekly "Sundown Picnic" as did a great deal of others in the community. They had grown up attending drive-ins with their families, creating fond memories of playing marbles in the dirt and croquet in the field and watching classics such as Lady and the Tramp, One Hundred and One Dalmatians, and the James Bond movies on the big screen curled up as friends in the trunks of their cars. But now, as young adults, they had long gone without their parents and treated the experience more as a rambunctious tailgate party.

For this evening's dinner, it was a makeshift potluck served out the backseat of Charlie Brown's car. They had popcorn, pretzel sticks, jelly beans, and strawberry ice cream sundaes straight from the creamery beside Charlie Brown's barbershop. All the proper fix-ins for a night at the movies. Patty, Marcie, and Violet also brought along a few vegetarian selections from a wedge salad to stuffed mushrooms and roasted vegetables. They carried their plates with them to the grass covered hill behind the parking lot and gathered on a variety of blankets they'd scattered about. The sunset filled the sky behind them as they sipped on the white wine that Patty had brought and chowed down on their entrees and snacks, taking a sigh of relief after the long day.

The group chatted amongst themselves. In one corner a little bit a ways from the rest, Schroeder sat seeking more quiet and privacy to work on his compositions, studiously taking notes. Linus, Sally, and Eudora all sat together working on their collective math homework. José, Roy, Pig-Pen, and Sophie discussed the upcoming baseball playoff season while Patty, Violet, Franklin, Marcie, and Peppermint played Go Fish and Freida sat alone examining her hair with her pocket mirror. Lucy, on the other hand was working to convince Charlie Brown to kick a football from her hands.

"Come on Charlie Brown. I'll hold the ball and you kick it." Lucy says with a sweet smile.

"Hold it? Ha! That's a laugh! You'll pull it away and I'll kill myself!" He shouts back in retaliation.

"Why, Charlie Brown, how can you say that? Don't I have a face you can trust? Don't I have an innocent look about me? Look at the innocence in my eyes.." She bats her eyes and flips her hair.

"Do you think I'm crazy?! Do you think you can fool with the same trick every time?" Yes… because you always fall for it and it never gets old.

"Why, how can you say that?! Oh I won't pull the ball away, Charlie Brown. I promise you. You have my bonded word." How she pulled off her act so convincingly every damn time she could never dream of knowing but she thought it must have been a pure gift from the universe that she couldn't bear to put to waste.

"Alright, I'll trust you. I have an underlying faith in human nature. I believe that people who want to change can do so... even Lucy, I suppose. And I believe that they should be given the chance to prove themselves. This time I'm going to kick that football clear to the moon." He pauses for just a moment, steadying his running position and takes off in a sprint.

"Augh!" He lands on his back with a devastating thud.

"Charlie Brown, your faith in humanity is an inspiration to all young people." Lucy says, bending down to look at him on the ground. He growls at her as he gets himself back up. *September 21st, 1958 & September 29th, 1968 strips referenced*

"SCREW YOU, YOU BLOCKHEAD!" He storms off leaving Lucy rolling around in the grass laughing hysterically to herself.

As the sun slowly sets on the horizon, the air around them buzzes with activity from the rest of the drive-in attendees who'd come before dark for the Wednesday picnic dinner. Families with young children sitting back and chatting in their lawn chairs as their li'l folks run about and teens laughing and chatting eagerly, finding community with their friends or seeking privacy for a first date. Many of the teens are alight with excitement over the coming homecoming weekend and much of conversation centers around everyone's ongoing crushes and potential dates or group plans and outfits. It isn't long before the group spoke about their anticipation as well.

"I can't believe how many of us are out of high school now! I'm going to miss going to homecoming with you guys every year so much!" Patty complains, wiping a stray tear from her cheek and Violet leans on her shoulder to comfort her. Roy, who sat nearby, sniffles to himself as well.

"What's wrong?" Charlie Brown asks with concern.

"I guess I'll just be so lonesome!" He looks away, hiding the tears in his eyes. *June 11th, 1965 strip reference*

"Me too…" Sophie mentions. Their gazes meet each other and their expressions shift from depressed to thoughtful.

"Ugh and I don't even have a date!" Sally groans, slamming her fists down on the ground below.

"Well. I have an idea." Marcie chimes in. "There's eight of you who haven't graduated yet: Lucy, Linus, Sally, Eudora, Pig-Pen, José, Roy, and Sophie. And then there's eight of us who have. If each of you puts down one of our names' as your 'date' when you buy your ticket, then we can still go as a group again for one last year!"

"Why that's a great idea, ain't it Chuck?! We should all go with them!" Peppermint smacks her friend's back hard.

"Uhm yea I guess so." He shrugs, garnering a sigh from her.

"Well boy! Try not to sound too excited, Chuck." Peppermint remarks sarcastically.

"Sorry. That's just the night of the Minnesota Twins baseball game. And the season is just about to end." He complains. "But, no no you're right, it's a great idea! Let's all go to homecoming for the last year we can!" He raises his solo cup to cheers and everyone excitedly shouts for joy except for Schroeder who pays no mind and keeps his attention on his sheets of music.

"You’ll be my date won't you Schroeder?" Lucy smirks at the boy from the other end of the gathering. "After all, it's my senior year so it's your last chance. You're not gonna say no to a pretty face like mine are you?"

"In your dreams, Lucy. I don't think I'll even go. Better to take the time to practice." He shrugs them off, but Charlie Brown taps on his shoulder.

"C'mon Schroeder, please join us. Don't leave me 'babysitting' these 'hooligans' all by myself." He pleads, leaning over to whisper to his friend. "Plus, then we can just spend the whole time talking about the game."

"… Maybe. I'll think about it." Schroeder answers reluctantly. Franklin stays quiet as the group is engrossed in conversation and Schroeder takes notice as the only other individual not participating.

"Hey Franklin, you alright?" He asks privately, not seeking to draw too much attention from the rest. Franklin doesn't reply for a moment and Schroeder does a double take looking back up from his sheet music. "Franklin?"

"I'm fine. I'm excited for it, I really am. I'm just really tired with classes is all." He forces a smile and nod.

"I'm really sorry about that, Franklin. Are you at least enjoying studying astronomy?"

"Yea my classes are going great. I just wish I could be a part time student instead because I also take care of my grandfather, you know?" He says with a frown and a shrug.

"Why don't you?... oh." Schroeder stops in his tracks. "That's real bloody shit man, I'm sorry." He consoles, resting a hand on his shoulder. Being a full time student was one of the few qualifications for draft deferment.

"Man, I'm not trying to be drafted! I don't want to serve this country killing innocent Vietnamese boys or end up dead like Shermy." This statement catches the attention of the rest of the group who goes quiet. "Sorry.." He becomes shy, visibly upset thinking about their lost companion. Charlie Brown puts his face in his hands for a moment before looking back up to his friend.

"No need, Franklin. We're all still struggling with it and you got a lot on your plate right now." Charlie Brown sympathizes with his friend. "But we're gonna all have a wonderful and fun night together and take our minds off everything!" Everyone rallies supportively.

"Thanks guys. So what are your guy's statuses?" Franklin asks while grabbing some pretzels from the nearby bowl.

"III-A. My dad helped me convince the draft board I was needed to keep our barbershop afloat." Charlie Brown admits. III-A was the classification for those whose absence would cause extreme hardship on dependents. It was evident from Charlie Brown's face that he felt great relief at this label. The question turns to Schroeder.

"I-A." Schroeder answers casually. Everyone sits silently. Available for unrestricted military service. "I'm just.. hoping to wait it out until I'm at whatever music school I choose full time next fall, then I'll be in the clear. And if they do call before… well, I think there's a lot more people disobeying than we hear about. They're not going to go after that vast majority of us."

"Yea, maybe not the majority… It must be nice to feel so confident they would let you get away with that, Schroeder." Franklin sighs.

"I— yeah. I see what you're saying… You're right. I probably won't be their first or biggest target or have to look over my shoulder. That is definitely a privilege. It's not fair." Schroeder looks to the ground and clenches his jaw over the anger coursing through him at the injustice of the war and unequal treatment of resisters. "We all got each other's backs, alright? We're not gonna let anything happen to anymore of us." Schroeder, Charlie Brown, and Franklin all lean in to hug one another.

"How's your grandfather doing?" Schroeder asks while putting away his music, deciding to finally truly join with his friends in conversation.

"He's… ya know. He's not getting out of bed much lately. But he still likes to yap, that's for sure." Franklin adds with a chuckle, trying to cheer himself up. Schroeder gives him a sad smile.

The anxiety in the minds of everyone lingered for the rest of dinner despite their best efforts to bring discussions back to the topic of homecoming and the upcoming movie. Everyone struggled to rid themselves of the image of Shermy, his smile when he was just a boy and throughout all the years they'd known him up until the final memory they had, the gloomy day they'd all wished him farewell. The pain and emptiness in his mother's eyes at the funeral just two weeks prior haunted them. Schroeder dwelt on his memory of the apathetic expression of the man at the draft board who'd interviewed him and the feeling of the pit in his stomach when he received his designation and draft card in the mail.

Finally, later that night when the sky had turned dark, illuminated only by the great magnitude of stars above, and the group had collectively finished their third bottle of wine, did the tension begin to dissipate. Everyone sat quietly now, watching My Fair Lady from the trunk of the several cars they'd drove in and lined up side by side. It was not a new movie and a few of them had seen it prior, but Wednesday nights at the drive-ins were for showcasing films no longer in theaters and still made for an entertaining outing.

"Miss Doolittle, you look beautiful." Colonel Pickering compliments the stunning Eliza who'd descended the staircase in a brilliant white gown fit for the ball.

"Thank you, Colonel Pickering." She curtsies graciously.

"Don't you think so, Higgins?" Henry circles Eliza, taking in her angelic form entirely.

"Not bad. Not bad at all." He replies plainly and departs for a neighboring room. As Eliza finishes preparing to leave, he moves quickly to grab a rose to place in his suit pocket and pour himself a port to down in a hurry.

Lucy sat beside Schroeder in the trunk of his car also joined by Charlie Brown and Linus. Lucy found herself dozing on and off, struggling to stay awake. Her eyes close briefly as she begins fading once more and her head falls to Schroeder's shoulder.

"Hey, hey! Lucy!" Schroeder whispers to wake her again and she shoots her head up to look at him. "Hey you wanna go get a soda to wake up a bit?"

"No.. I'm fine sleeping right here." She says, laying her head back on his shoulder and latching onto his arm.

"Oh c'mon, Luc." He chuckles and steps down out of the trunk. He takes her hand and helps her down.

"Ugh alright, I suppose." The two walk together side by side at a languid pace through the lot.

"Why are you so tired?" Schroeder asks, cutting through the lull they'd fallen into.

"Oh ya know, just a lot of homework and also I've been spending more time at the local theatre trying to get more involved." Lucy mentions casually.

"The theatre?"

"Yeah.. I've been thinking about what I want to pursue after high school. It must seem silly, but I think I.. I think I want to get into theatre." Schroeder listens intently, closely watching her excited yet vulnerable expression. "I am interested in it all! In the acting, it's not my first time, anyway. You know I've done a few school plays throughout the years and that I love the spotlight. And the writing, you know how I love my books and stories. And the directing! Oh how I love to lead and be in charge." She skips once giddily before returning back to serious. "I think it's rather fitting for me.. I mean, I've thought about it for awhile, I just started taking myself more seriously lately is all. And there's so many different routes it could put me on even if it doesn't work out fully, I could get into literature or even journalism, costume making or makeup, cinematography—"

"Lucy, that's amazing!" Schroeder finally interrupts.

"Oh, you don't mean that. You think it's a terrible idea don't you?" She pouts.

"What?!? No! It's incredible!"

"Oh you don't think it's silly to want to be in theatre?"

"You're asking the pianist if he thinks—"

"Yeah, I heard it as soon as the words left my mouth." Lucy lets out a small laugh.

"Lucy, I'm being honest. That's wonderful. I think you'll be magnificent." They arrive to the soda line. His eyes linger on her as she sweetly smiles up at him.

"That's… really kind of you, Schroeder."

"It's just the truth is all." They gaze at each other a moment longer before being interrupted by the cashier asking for their order. Schroeder buys them each a root beer before they return to the car.

"Where did they go?" Linus and Charlie Brown were no longer in Schroeder's trunk. Lucy and Schroeder turn their heads to find Linus and Charlie have joined with the rest of their friends in the other cars next to them. "I guess they're busy." Schroeder shrugs and climbs back into his trunk, reaching his hand out for Lucy to grab. He pulls the sleepy woman up with him, steadying her with his other hand gently grasping her waist. Lucy feels her heart quicken at his closeness as she takes her seat beside him once again.

"How romantic.. just the two of us, now." Lucy leans over to whisper in Schroeder's ear. Schroeder turns his head to face her, ready to scold, but he can't help but lose his words at the sight of her loving eyes staring into his.

"Focus on the movie." He growls, holding her gaze.

"Take your own advice." She snaps back. Schroeder's face contorts into an angry yet unreadable expression as he bites back his tongue from saying anything further. He turns back to the screen, leaving Lucy giggling to herself.

As the movie continued, the two both began to fade. Lucy was first, her head falling back to his shoulder, and Schroeder decided not to wake her this time, feeling his own energy depleting by the second. It wasn't long before they'd both dazed to the point of laying down, Lucy, resting on Schroeder's arm with her own laying on his chest. It was far from the first time they'd fallen asleep together. It was almost rather hard to avoid on occasion as Lucy sometimes remained by his side every waking moment of the day and it wasn't abnormal for them to accidentally drift off at the piano after a late night practice session. This time however, Schroeder had done nothing in his power to prevent such a thing.

Suddenly, Schroeder's eyes shoot open as he startles over the sight of a bright flash. He hears mischievous laughter from someone running off as he rubs his eyes awake. The first thing he sees as his eyes come into focus is a Polaroid photo printed and laid upon his chest still developing. He picks it up to see the image as it begins to appear. It's Lucy and him sleeping together in the same very spot. His head whips to his side and he finally notices a still sleeping and peaceful looking Lucy on his arm.

"Pssst. Lucy." He tries to shake her awake but she remains undisturbed. Schroeder pauses a moment, unconvinced that she remains asleep and debating what to do next. "Hmm. Psst. Pretty girl! I want you to know something. I think you're kinda cute. You really fascinate me." He whispers and brushes her hair off her face and behind her ear. "I've always been fascinated by you… I love your hair, and your eyes, and the way you talk… I guess I love everything about you… sweet baby." A smile slowly and unwittingly creeps on Lucy's lips despite her best efforts to hide it. "Ha!" He shouts and her eyes shoot open. "I knew that flash woke you up too!" Lucy huffs at him frustrated as she sits up. *December 14th, 1975 strip reference*

"Lemme see that!" She angrily plucks the photo from his chest to admire.

"Nooo!" He sits up next to her to snatch it back out of her hand.

"Awww did you want it for yourself, my love?" She teasingly boops her finger to his nose.

"Augh, never mind. You can keep it!" He shoves it back to her. She reluctantly grabs it, angrily crossing her arms across her chest.

"Hey, which one of you did that?!" Schroeder calls out to their friends, leaning out of the car to view them. They all burst into laughter, satisfied with themselves and their antics.

+++

Saturday arrived in what felt like a blink of an eye. Schroeder was playing his piano at home, as he often did on the weekend mornings, as his parents prepared for their day. Schroeder's father gathered his golf gear and keys and approached his wife in the kitchen who was pouring herself a cup of English Breakfast tea.

"Okay, Dena. I am headed to golf with the guys, now. I'll see you later, honey." He kisses her goodbye.

"Have fun, dear." She replies lovingly with a small wave.

"And what are your plans this weekend, Schroeder?" She bites back a smile, hiding it by taking a drink from her mug. She already knew from her friends, many of whom were the parents of Schroeder's lifelong friends, that homecoming was this evening and she hoped her son would be joining in with his friends. She had always encouraged him to socialize more and to be more involved in other extracurricular than piano and more typical teenage activities. It's not that she thought he was lacking friends, though that was nothing to say about social skills, merely she sometimes worried about how occupied his mind could become with nothing but piano. She sometimes worried about his future and looking back feeling like he'd passed up on experiences out of an overcommitment to one singular path. She never wanted him to lose sight of the many things in life that mattered outside his primary obsession.

"Based on the look you're giving me, I'd guess you're saying I'll be going to homecoming with everyone." Schroeder chuckles without looking up from the piano.

"Oh how lovely!" She spins in a circle dramatically giving her son a smirk and she leans on the piano to look at him, resting her chin on her hand. "Will you be going with Lucy?"

"Mum, seriously?" He rolls his eyes and finally takes his hands of the keys. She puts her hands up defensively, finding his annoyance more adorable than anything.

"Well what are you planning on wearing?" He shrugs nonchalantly.

"Probably just the dress pants and white button down I normally wear at DeGidio's."

"Augh, Schroeder! We can do better than that. C'mon let's go to the mall." She tugs him by the arm to pull him up and away from the piano bench.

"Mum! What?" He retaliates confused.

"I didn't ask, we're going." She leaves to ready herself in her room, leaving Schroeder to groan in acceptance.

"Alright, I'm ready." She announces when she returns a few minutes later, enthusiastically slipping on her white ladies gloves with a smile. "Oh, don't look so gloomy, Schroeder. We're going to have fun!" She smacks Schroeder's arm encouragingly. "Oh, I'm driving, by the way!" She calls out to him, opening the door and swiftly departing through.

"You only want to so you can control the radio." Schroeder snickers at her as she gleefully jumps in the driver's seat and immediately turns on her station.

"I still have faith I'll convert you to loving jazz more one of these days."

"You know I don't dislike it—" Schroeder begins.

"I know, I know. You 'just prefer your classical', I know." She interjects, mimicking him in his far more Americanized English accent. The two fall into a comfortable silence together as they share a cigarette and enjoy the humidity and wind which brought in the car the distinct scent of petrichor. The sky was dark in the distance, the clouds dense and the smell of earth flowed around them.

"It looks like it's going to rain soon. Make sure you bring an umbrella with you tonight." Dena advises, exhaling a puff of smoke.

"Ehhh, it's not a big deal. I'm sure that I'll be okay."

"Oh, I'm not worried about you. You'll need it for Lucy to protect her hair and dress! You may just brush your hair with your fingers, but you don't know how much time these girls put into getting ready. Especially to impress the boy they like…" She lectures.

"Mum! Are you going to keep bringing her up?" He winces, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Ugh, you're no fun. Fine. I'll stop.. for now. But still bring the umbrella!"

They arrive and enter the busy and bustling mall, overrun by many families doing the same thing as them: last minute outfit shopping. Many were also still doing back to school clothes shopping and taking advantage of one of the last Saturdays with mildly warm weather to be out. The mother-son pair come upon a department store and Dena ushers in Schroeder to follow.

"Let's see what we can find!" Dena proclaims, placing her hands on her hips. "You really would look wonderful in something like this!" She beams as she holds up a velvet mustard yellow suit jacket.

"Mum… no. I am much more simple than that. You know this." He frowns displeased.

"Oh, alright." The two continue hunting around, Schroeder mostly allowing his mom to lead the way and show him her finds.

"Ugh well, if I'm not going to convince you to wear a formal suit jacket, please at least bring this with you in case Lu—... you get cold. I'm not taking no for an answer, I'm buying it." She huffs.

"Well it is better than the others at least. I guess I can wear it." He says, examining the dark brown corduroy jacket she'd picked out. "You'll need this pocket square too." She adds as she grabs a simple white one off the rack.

"Oh Schroeder, look!" She gasps and practically runs up to a rack of ties, at least the best she can in her clacking kitten heals and fitted pencil skirt. She picks one off and holds it up for Schroeder to see. It was a tie that was made up of piano keys. Schroeder takes it from her at a loss for words.

"Oh alright, fine! I will wear this." He agrees, failing to hold back his smile and his mom cackles victoriously.

They spent the rest of the afternoon at the mall simply enjoying themselves as they marched around their favorite stores and had lunch in the food court. They did not often spend so much leisure time bonding but the two both appreciated when they did. They had nearly always had a friendly and comfortable relationship and never tired of each other's company. Dena was sometimes interrogated by her own mother, who herself had raised eight, as to why she never had more children. To her, the answer was clear. Her heart had always been full enough as it was with love for her one and only son.

After the long but relaxing day with his mother, Schroeder dressed for the night and then left for Charlie Brown's house where all the guys had decided to meet up to watch the baseball game beforehand. Schroeder knocks on the door to Charlie Brown's house and to his surprise, it's Linus who answers the door.

"Hey Schroeder. You sure do look dapper!" Linus greets him kindly as Schroeder steps inside.

"As do you, Linus." He wore a powder blue suit and tie with his hair seamlessly greased back and held a white corsage box down at his side. "You look so grown up!" Schroeder exclaims.

"I'm not that much younger than you all!" Linus ripostes, rolling his eyes.

"So who's the corsage for?" Schroeder asks, giving him a friendly light punch on the shoulder.

"…Sally. I'm going to tell her I like her tonight… But don't tell Charlie Brown. He'll lose it!" Linus pleads in a hushed tone with a frantic paranoid gleam in his eyes. Schroeder cackles, feeling sorry for his friend. Charlie Brown would indeed flip out when he inevitably found out that Linus was finally returning Sally's affections after all these years. "So where's yours for Lucy?"

"My what? A corsage?" Schroeder asks taken aback and confused.

"Duhhh. You did get her one right?"

"Uhhh no? I didn't even want to come! You all and my mother basically gave me no choice. For God's sakes you and my mum are both on one today, what has gotten into you??" Schroeder throws his arms up in defeat.

"Okay, Schroeder. Listen. You're getting older, you're gonna have to stop lying to yourself one of these days." Linus councils. He had had enough of Schroeder's denial.

"I'm older than you!" He counters exasperated.

"And yet, I could admit my feelings to myself before you could." At this offense, Schroeder's jaw drops at the floor.

"There is no such thing to confess! I am married to my passion! I am not interested in anyone but especially not your sister's whims or-or.. her infuriating ways!" Linus stops listening and turns on his heal to walk off back to the living room.

The rest of the boys were sitting around on the couch and chairs surrounding the coffee table, looking to the floor dismayed. They had all gathered together at Charlie Brown's house specifically for the primary purpose of watching the Minnesota Twins game on Charlie Brown's television.

"The game has been rescheduled!" Charlie Brown wails, collapsing onto his couch completely devastated.

"It's due to the rain. They'll just reschedule for tomorrow and then it won't be happening during homecoming. Look at the bright side!" Linus assures his dramatic friend.

"I suppose you're right, Linus. You're such a great friend." Charlie wipes a tear off his cheek and reaches for a hug from him.

"Uh, yeah. Thanks." He says nervously returning the hug with a pat on the back, glancing down at the corsage beside him. "A great friend indeed, heh."

"So who's riding with who?" Franklin stands up to ask.

"I'll drive whoever needs it to get there, but I want to drive alone on the way home later. I will need my alone time with Beethoven after being around all those people." Schroeder states, leaning against the wall as all the seats were occupied. The room stares blankly though unsurprised at their friend.

"Oh c'mon, Schroeder. That just leaves my car!" Charlie protests.

"Aye, I already came as a favor to you, Charlie. You can't say I don't care."

"Ugh, alright. Everyone can just ride with me." Charlie Brown accepts with a frown.

By the time they all arrived at the school, it was pouring outside and students were running in under jackets and umbrellas, desperate to not let the rain affect their outfits or hair. Schroeder parks at the edge of the lot, having missed nearly all the available spots due to him and the other men arriving late. He turns to leave but stops himself with an annoyed huff at the echoes of his mother's voice in his head. He turns back forward and pulls down his dash mirror to look himself back over. He reaches into his glove compartment and pulls out a bottle of Speidel British Sterling cologne, giving himself a quick few spritz and decides everything else he's got will do. Braving the outside, he abandons his umbrella in the backseat, and dashes through the parking lot in the dark and rainy night to the gymnasium entrance unbothered by his hair or outfit becoming wet.

Schroeder enters and gathers his bearings, straightening his jacket and brushing out droplets from his hair with his hand. He walks through the throngs of dancers, feeling exceptionally out of place until the moment his sight lands on her from across the gymnasium. The music that blared through the speakers suddenly silences in his ears. Her eyes shine like the rarest gem and his gaze is immediately fixated on her and only her-- adoringly captivated by the way her eyes and smile sparkle under the majestic lights that reflected off the gleaming disco ball. To him, Lucy was the most beautiful girl the world has ever known. She stood between Patty and Violet, giggling and letting out a laugh that Schroeder was certain was dangerously contagious as he already felt infected with the need to approach her. *September 7th, 1965 strip reference*

Before he could, however, Lucy spots him first, feeling the heat of his intense gaze burning into her. She bids her friends goodbye and pushes her way through enamored couples and partying friends before finally finding herself in front of Schroeder, breathless over the energy she’d exerted to get through the crowd but also over how magnificently handsome she found him, as always.

“Schroeder, you came!” She exclaims, fighting the urge to throw her arms around him in a hug.

“I did.”

“And look how handsome you are! You dressed like this for me, didn’t you?” She exaggeratedly looks him up and down to appraise his messy damp hair, open corduroy jacket, and partially unbuttoned dress shirt with the loosened piano tie. For the first time in his life, Schroeder had been made to feel truly self-conscious under Lucy’s amorous stare. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering if he should have opted for the formal suit or combed his hair with more than just his fingers or at least made sure his tie was tightened, all exactly like his mother had advised. He couldn’t see how he possibly could compare to the portrait of perfection that was Lucy. But that’s where he felt taken aback. Why did he feel the need to compare to her beauty? I don't care about impressing her… right?

“Thank you, Luc. Have you been enjoying yourself? I just got here.” He asks, his stomach twisting into knots as he scolds himself over the redundant remark. Of course Lucy already knew he had just arrived as he stood drenched from the rain still by the entrance. He was starting to realize just how much harder it was to think of what to say in conversation when nervous.

“Yes! School dances can be so lame, but I’ve been having fun goofing off with the girls. And look how much prettier I am than everyone else!” Lucy gushes over herself, radiating with not only the endless confidence she always put on display for the world, but also a true depth of genuine admiration for herself. “Isn’t this dress just gorgeous, Schroeder?” She twirls in a circle, letting her dress spin dazzlingly and giggles burst from her chest as she playfully shows off to the boy in front of her. It was a glistening icy silver-blue satin dress that fell just above her knees. It had off-the-shoulder tulle sleeves and a low cut neckline that allowed room for her layered pearl necklace with gold adornments. She also wore her typical black stockings but had opted for higher heels than usual, donning a shiny pair of black and white Mary Jane's. And as always, her striking red lipstick completed her appearance.

“You look… truly breathtaking, Lucy.” Schroeder utters, his eyes not once leaving her face and losing himself in her twinkling eyes. Did I really just say that out loud? Lucy’s immediately thrown off guard by the sincerity and tenderness in his voice. Her expression turns serious and she ogles him surprised and as in love as ever. He really meant that. She can’t suppress the soft smile that crept up on her lips again and Schroeder can’t hide the way his eyes follow the movement, enraptured by her silky red smile.

Lucy’s about to speak, not sure what she’s going to say, just determined to get out something, but is interrupted by the call of Charlie Brown from a bit away. Their heads both turn and, a moment later, he has appeared beside Schroeder.

"Schroeder, did you hear? Joe Garagiola got inducted into the hall of fame!" That's what you interrupted for, Charles?

"Uhh nice, it's about time. I know he's one of your favorites."

"Oh yes, sir! I bet his morale will be great for tomorrow's game. Augh, Lucy did you hear the game was rescheduled for tomorrow?!" He claps his hands to his face in agony.

"No, I didn't. I've been too busy preparing for the dance today! That's great about the game though, now you won't miss it tomorrow!" Lucy chimes brightly.

"Great?! But now I must wait another day! Schroeder, let's get everyone some punch and chat more. I heard one of the freshman spiked it with Gordon's Gin again. It's always great to see the younger generation carrying on traditions." Charlie Brown says reminiscently.

"Oh, alright. You want some Lucy? We can grab a cup for everyone."

"Okay, but hurry back." She winks, turning away to find her friends again. Schroeder watches her every movement as she skips away, paying no mind to Charlie Brown as he leaves to go to the punch table. Finally, he wills himself to move and hurries to catch up.

"Lucy sure has beautiful eyes, hasn't she?.. Even if a little out of focus." Schroeder says to himself, still distracted by her from the opposite end of the room. *April 26th, 1955 strip reference*

"What did you say?" Charlie Brown asks, leaning closer to better hear.

"Oh, nothing…" He hadn't meant to say that out loud nor in his head for that matter. "You said there's Gordon's in here?" He motions to the colorful bowl on the table in front of him.

"Yea probably a whole lot!" Charlie Brown stretches his arms wide to exaggerate. Schroeder doesn't even wait for him to finish his sentence before ladling himself a cup and tilting his head back to chug it as quickly as he can.

"What the fuck, Schroeder? The fuck is that for?" Charlie Brown yells at his friend in shock.

"Oh it's nothing, just want to reset my head a bit. Keep telling me about the the game and Joe Garagiola, I need the distraction." Schroeder answers before continuing to chug.

"Oh, well I was thinking tomorrow maybe everyone could come over and we'd watch the rescheduled game together and, before that, we could watch a documentary on Joe Garagiola and—" Schroeder stops hearing him, his eyes traveling back to Lucy who was twirling on the dance floor with a dazzling smile across her face and the waves in her hair bouncing with every step.

"Schroeder?" Charlie catches Schroeder's attention again, snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"Uhhh yeah. It sounds like it'll be a fun time." He pulls his eyes back to his friend.

"Are you thinking about Beethoven again?" Charlie punches Schroeder's shoulder. Yes, that's good. Think about Beethoven.

"Of course. That's definitely it. Who else would I be thinking of?" Schroeder pours himself another cup and downs it as quickly as the first before they both work on pouring a cup for each of their friends. They each carefully carry over as many cups in their hands as they can manage and rush to meet them on the dance floor.

"Everyone quick, take one! I can't hold it!" Charlie Brown demands to their friends. Once they both had passed out all the drinks, Schroeder turns back to Lucy who was patiently awaiting his return.

"Hi, again." She greets him in her most flirtatious voice as her eyes are drawn to his adorable and warm smile.

"Hi—" He starts.

"Schroeder!" Charlie Brown interrupts once more, entirely oblivious to the tension he was cutting through. "So, like I was saying before. Ted Uhlaender's batting average is .269 and—"

"Charlie Brown! It's so good to see you!" Franklin claps his hand on Charlie's back mid sentence. "Come over here, I want to hear all about it and I got to chat with you anyway!" Franklin winks at Schroeder who raises an eyebrow perplexed. Franklin begins to guide Charlie Brown away, but turns back to say something in Schroeder's ear. "There is no possible way you can fuck this up!" He hisses, lowering his voice so only Schroeder can hear.

"What?!" Schroeder replies bewildered.

"Augh, yea like that! Don't do that!" He sneers aggravated. Schroeder turns back to Lucy who had moved to mingling with the girls again a few feet away. They laugh and dance wildly to the music together and Schroeder smiles, slowly approaching Lucy as if magnetized.

"Schroeder!" Lucy yells, grabbing hold of his hand and jumping up and down with him, giddy with excitement.

"Luc… What's gotten into you?" He laughs, gazing intently into her dreamy eyes.

"Oh, the girls and I may have already had a little to drink before we arrived is all." She falls forward against his chest, giggling hysterically as he catches her.

"Only a little?" He laughs with her but she stops, her expression falling as she becomes aware of how close her face is to Schroeder's.

"Just enough to dance circles around you, my darling." Lucy coos enticingly. She lifts herself back up, clearing her throat as she brushes herself off. Schroeder steadies himself as well, dizzied by her mesmerizing charm. "I'm going to go dance with the girls for awhile. I promised them I would. But I'll be back soon, Schroeder." She bashfully bites her lip, walking away from a speechless Schroeder. Lucy peers behind her, watching him with a mischievous glint in her eye, almost as if daring him to come after her. He restrains himself from doing so, though so difficult.

Schroeder spends the following half hour downing an additional two cups of the punch and hating himself over the uncontrollable butterflies fluttering in his stomach every glimpse he caught of the girl that tempted his heart, tonight more so than usual. While he slimly acknowledged to himself the frequency with which Lucy captivated his attention, it was rarer even so that he found her so irresistible in a way that even he couldn't deny to himself. This doesn't mean anything, he affirms to himself with another swig of his drink. She's just pretty and throws herself at you, of course she's attractive. It's nothing more than that.

"Schroeder!" Linus suddenly appears beside the boy who was standing against the wall, wallowing over his yearning.

"Hey, Linus. How did things go with Sally?"

"Horrible! Look, Schroeder!" He wails, pointing to the center of the dance floor where Sally was being twirled by another boy.

"Oh my god. I thought she was only interested in you?!" Schroeder questions in disbelief.

"I guess.. I waited too long to tell her." Linus grips his hair in a panic. "Oh, Schroeder what have I done?" He cries out, grabbing Schroeder's shoulders. "Schroeder. Here, take this." He takes Schroeder's hand and places in it the corsage box. "Give this corsage to Lucy. I have no use for it anymore. Confess your feelings before it's too late, like it is for me!" Linus continues to cry, a few tears stream down his cheeks.

"God, Linus. Settle down, man!" Schroeder shakes his friend back more forcefully. "Have some sense about you, will ya! Jesus. Get over to her and tell her how you feel right now!" He commands fiercely, stomping his foot for emphasis.

"Oh, Schroeder! I just can't do it. I can't stand it!" Linus scratches at the wall beside them, sliding down it defeated. "Schroeder, please take the corsage! Do what I couldn't do! You have to confess your love to Lucy! Please Schroeder." Linus laments more.

"Linus, get up now! Bloody Christ. Get a hold of yourself, friend." He lifts his friend to look at him in the eyes. "You're going to go over there right this instant and you're going to look her in the eye and you're going to say; 'Sally, I love you. And I would like to interrupt and have this dance with you'! No more excuses, get going, now!" He growls, nearly shouting at his friend in an effort to hype him up.

"You gotta do it with me, Schroeder. Only if you take the corsage and give it to Lucy." Linus shakes his head, still practically shaking with anxiety.

"Fuck, Linus! What the fuck is wrong with you, Godfuckingdammit! Give me that damn thing you bloody idiot!" He snatches it from Linus's hand and gets in his face pointing a finger right in front of his nose. "You better get over there, now!" He snarls, pointing to where Sally danced. The two both storm off away from each other on their respective missions to uphold their piece of the bargain. Schroeder weaves his way through the many dancing friends and couples, searching for Lucy amidst them. The lights reflecting off the disco ball flash around the crowd, the movement of the people and lights making it difficult to sort through faces. His eyes finally land on hers and he pushes his way through to reach her.

"Lucy!" He calls out to her and she turns around, smiling when she spots him. She moves to meet him and they finally meet in the center of the densely packed dance floor which squishes them together.

"Hi, Schroeder! Did you miss me?" She teases with a smirk. He laughs nervously at her jest, realizing he felt unprepared to hand her the corsage.

"Uhhh.. I just had something I wanted to give you is all." He pulls up the box for her to see and her mouth falls open in shock.

"You didn't!" She gasps and covers her mouth with her hand. Well, no. I suppose I didn't actually.

"Here, I'll put it on you." He offers, desperately wanting to move past the moment. He opens the box and takes it out as Lucy struggles to contain her excitement, holding her wrist out fervidly.

"My goodness, Schroeder. It's gorgeous." She gushes as he carefully wraps it on her.

"I'm.. glad you like it, Lucy." He replies sincerely as he finishes tying it in a bow. She joyfully examines her new accessory.

"What a gentleman…" She says, looking back up to him. "Now, if you want to show me what a real gentleman you can be, you'll take my hand for a dance sometime tonight, Schroeder." She playfully fiddles with his tie, staring up at him with her most seductive eyes.

"I am no gentleman…" Schroeder swallows, hypnotized by her and her touch. "Especially not to you.. but perhaps we will share a dance tonight." She continues playing with his tie and holding him close as she trails the tips of her fingers up his arm. "Lucy.." She leans forward on the tips of her heels, using her hand on Schroeder's chest for balance to reach up and kiss his cheek.

"Don't push your luck, Lucy." He whispers as he captures her eyes once again.

"You can't hold me to such a thing and you know it." She sassily responds. She's about to say more when their friends call their names.

"Guys! We're going to go get ice cream! Let's go!!" They all cheer, dragging Lucy and Schroeder's attention back to the present.

They all gather together at the door before exiting the gymnasium as a group. The rain had thankfully quieted to a gentle sprinkle but Schroeder still dashes to his car for his umbrella he'd brought before running back to the entrance to cover Lucy who stood waiting under the overhang.

"Ready?" Schroeder asks, holding the umbrella over Lucy and himself.

"Onward, my dear prince!" Schroeder shakes his head, rolling his eyes but also fails to bite back his smile. The pair begins their march, falling into a relaxed pace behind their friends. Schroeder can't help but admit to himself that the only reason he's alone with Lucy right now is because he's allowed his friends to give them that time and space with no push back on his part.

"Oh, Schroeder!" Lucy says in her sing-song voice beside him. "It's mighty cold, Schroeder. Aren't you going to offer me your jacket? It'd be rude not to offer your date your jacket, don't you think?"

"It's not cold at all you blockhead!" He answers teasingly through a laugh and Lucy giggles innocently. "You didn't have to wear a dress with barely any sleeves.." His eyes roam her silhouette again. "And I'm not your date, Lucy." She reacts by sticking her tongue out at him.

"You're such a little brat." He chides her.

"I think there's a part of you that rather enjoys that about me.. even if you deny it." She smirks at him villainously with her arms crossed proudly.

"You're insufferable." He counters, shaking his head and feigning annoyance to her and to himself.

It's not long before they all arrive to the ice cream parlor as it was only a few blocks away from the school. The red booths were packed with students who'd had the exact same idea and the music emanating from the jukebox was largely drowned out by the lively conversations that filled the busy building. The bright teal walls were decorated with photos of the community from over the decades as well as vibrant neon signs and the tiled checkered floor was dotted with ice cream shaped rugs. Everyone joins at the end of the line which stretched and winded for several rows almost reaching the door. The wait didn't drag as long as expected however as they were all perfectly entertained with each other's company, having a blast as they goofed off and chatted about the night. The time flew by and finally, it was Lucy's turn to order as she approached the counter still followed closely by Schroeder who stood behind.

"I'll have a scoop of the Neapolitan in a cone please." She requests to the cashier politely.

"And for you, sir?"

"Oh, I'll be paying separate—" Lucy begins to clarify, her cheeks reddening slightly with embarrassment.

"No, I got it. I'll have German chocolate, also in a cone. Double scoop, same for hers. Thank you." He places two quarters on the counter and pretends not to notice how Lucy's cheeks flush a deep crimson. They receive their cones a short while later and without a second thought, they begin searching for an open spot to sit together as if it were second nature which it often was. The pair opts to swipe two open seats at the counter, sitting with their knees pressed together. Lucy and Schroeder enjoy their treats, losing themselves in each other's eyes as time slips away. They pay no mind to their friends who had gathered tightly around a group of tables at the other side of the parlor. They are completely oblivious to their isolation and the way they gaze at one another through laughter, utterly enthralled.

"My, my sister, what a beautiful corsage!" Linus says, passing by.

"Oh isn't it so lovely?! Schroeder got it for me!" She squeals. Schroeder violently glares at Linus and mouths 'STOP IT' while Lucy is turned away. Linus snickers as he goes and sits at a table across from Sally.

"See, Linus? I told you it would work!" She brags and takes a lick of her ice cream.

"Yeah.. It's great to see my sister so happy." He agrees with a groan, sagging against his booth.

"So what's the issue?"

"I just really wanted to give that corsage to you is all."

"Oh, my sweet babboo! We still have so many school dances left. There's plenty more opportunities. But Lucy graduates this year. They don't have that time left. And who knows what will happen when Schroeder leaves for school next year." Sally looks at him with the same love she always did, taking his hand on the table.

"He better not break her heart."

"Thanks again for your help, Harold!" Sally calls to a boy at a table nearby. He looks to her puzzled as he was still unaware of what scheme he'd played apart in but kindly gave her a thumbs up.

Between the long wait in line and everyone of them losing track of time from all the revelry, they only finally parted after over an hour. They strolled back the same way they came, moving somewhat lazily as they were all reluctant for their time to come to an end. Lucy nervously looked up to the man under the umbrella beside her, hesitant to request what she desired out of fear that she'd be scolded.

"Hey, Schroeder?"

"Yea?" He looks down to her.

"Will you.. take me home please?" She asks sheepishly.

"Yea, I can take you home. Don't I almost always anyway?" He chuckles just as they arrive to the school parking lot. Lucy pauses, rocking on her feet and looking to the ground shyly. "What is it?"

"It's just, I'm not quite ready for the night to end yet." She says softly, her voice sounding more like a question as she tries to hide her hope that they would have more time together.

"I guess… the night is still rather young.." He shakes his head at himself, not able to believe he's going along with this. Lucy beams giddily with anticipation, practically bouncing next to him as she slings her arm through his. Schroeder ignores her excited gleam as they saunter to his car. He opens the door for her, failing miserably to hide his smile as she graciously accepts and takes her seat, keeping her eyes fixated on him the whole time. Did she know what looking at him like that did to him?

"So where are we going?" She leans over the console speaking conspiratorially.

"You'll see!" He hushes her as he starts the car. They pull away from the school just as the rest of the attendees begin filing out of the gymnasium doors. The rain continues to sprinkle throughout the drive and the only sounds between them are the windshield wipers, the near silent tunes of the classical music on the radio, and the thrumming of the car. Lucy sits impatiently in her seat, tapping her shoes together and fighting to restrain herself from asking aloud what they were both thinking.

Is this.. a date?

No, of course not.

I probably was always going to drive her home.

He probably was always going to drive me home.

And this is just a detour…

Lucy desperately wants to pester him, She so badly needed to know if his heart was beating as fast as hers, though she knew he'd deny it regardless. Did he know how nervous he made her when he gave her that damn smile he was working so hard to hide at this moment? Ultimately, Lucy felt it better not to push her luck so she stayed quiet for the duration of the ride as did he. The drive was not considerably long, but Lucy did take notice as they reached the outskirts of the Twin Cities.

"Schroeder? Seriously, where are we going?"

"Just wait! Always so impatient." He teases cheekily.

A few minutes later, Lucy realizes where they're approaching— Lake Como. It was where they and all their friends went every winter to ice skate and play hockey and every summer to swim in spite of the frigid Minnesota water.

"This.. is not what I was exactly expecting." She mumbles as she takes in their surroundings. They drive alongside the lake for awhile as Schroeder takes them to the far side.

"And what were you ‘exactly expecting'? A hotel suite with rose petals on the bed? A bottle of wine chilled at the bedside? Candles illuminating the room?" He asks, dramatically and sarcastically swooning over the vision. They pull into a parking lot close to the water, a small sign in the sand marks the spot, 'Duck Pointe.' ⭐⭐⭐

"… Well, you've certainly put some thought into that it seems… Not that I'd be opposed, of course. Careful Schroeder, don't go giving me ideas you're not ready for." Lucy replies coyly. Schroeder shakes his head, laughing while he parks as close to the water's edge as the pavement would allow. He fiddles with the radio station, scrambling to find a station playing the same kind of songs that had played that night at the dance. "My, my. Do I believe my ears? Is my dashing pianist actually turning on music that isn't classical?" Lucy teases while still in a bit of disbelief.

"Don't make me regret this." He retorts but there's not a hint of annoyance in his voice. "C'mon." He ushers her out the car, turning up the radio exponentially. He runs off umbrella in hand, abandoning the car and leaving the door wide open to allow the music to blare. Lucy chases him to the waters edge where he captures her hand in his, spinning her around. "I promised you a dance tonight, didn't I?" Lucy can barely contain her excitement yet simultaneously finds herself rendered speechless. The music rings out, echoing across the silent lake accompanied only by the sounds of the sprinkling rain hitting the ground and their umbrella. Lucy feels herself melting against Schroeder's chest. She holds steady onto him by his hand and shirt and keeps his gaze as they sway.

"Why'd you take us here?" She whispers absolutely entranced with the man she loved and the backdrop of moonlight and stars above and the water glittering below.

"You don't remember what you said?" Lucy shakes her head. "When we were here ice skating in the winter with everyone?"

"Well, we've done that every year." Lucy chuckles.

"You said you wanted to come here when it wasn't icy, just the two of us. To see the flowers in the spring or the leaves changing color in the fall like they are now and to maybe spot some ducks."

"You… you remembered that? Wow." She says breathlessly.

"Ahem. Don't act so surprised. You do talk to me incessantly everyday. It's hard not to catch some of it."

"Well, I can't say I'm not surprised you actually did it." Her voices trails off. She had officially acknowledged the elephant: he was being quite the romantic, whether he cared to admit it or not. He did not.

"Uhm-well you know."

"Yes?" Lucy looks up to him hopeful for his next words. Her eyes trace every feature on his face, watching his expression as carefully as she could. She had long committed every little line of him to memory, but needed to have his image in this moment burned into her brain.

"I just thought it might be fun is all." That was all he could muster even to himself.

"Time alone with me? Fun? Are you sure you don't want to admit you like me back Schroeder?" She teases with a smile, bravely taking a chance and wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer.

"You're wrong..." He gulps. He could barely convince himself. His heart races and he finds himself unable to pull back away to keep the space between them. In fact, all he could do was wrap his own arms around her waist, holding her closer as their foreheads pressed against one another. Their breath grows heavy as they dance together, the music feeling further and further away as the seconds pass and turn into minutes.

"Lucy, this is.. a lot… I can't.. I don't want.. I.." His defenses were crumbling before his eyes.

"Schroeder will you just live in the moment with me for once in your life, please? Why can't you just let yourself feel where you are right now?" Her hand slides up over his stomach and up his chest before she grabs a hold of his tie, making his breath hitch in his throat. She tugs on it to keep him pressed close to her, but he couldn't have resisted if he wanted to. And he really, really didn't want to. "We don't need to talk about it..." She breathes as her hand slides up further, traveling up his neck and then cupping his cheek. Schroeder's shoulders relax at her words, feeling at least some of the pressure alleviated.

They continue rocking in the rain for what couldn't have been hours, yet it felt so as they disappear into their shared private universe. Lucy eventually wraps her arms back around Schroeder's neck, her face pressed to his while he held her close at her waist. Schroeder had never let Lucy hold him so close for so long barring the many times they'd happened to fall asleep on one another over the years.

After a long while, the couple is abruptly interrupted by the voice of a booming energetic radio host cutting the music to commercials. This pulls them out of their trance and Schroeder is quick to pull away, needing to regain his composure.

"Uhmm. Yea, I should probably get you home now." Schroeder coughs nervously.

"Alright." Lucy replies. She can't hide the disappointment on her expression over their time together coming to an end, but also isn't too upset either. The night had already been magical and more of everything than she expected.

They return back to the car at a snail's pace, walking hand in hand under the umbrella, a detail neither of the two took notice of until Schroeder was forced to let go upon walking her to her passenger door. During the ride, they each steal glances of one another, unable to shake the chills they both were feeling. Lucy sneaks her hand across the console and delicately brushes her finger to the back of his hand that sat beside her. He doesn't react outwardly, but inwardly, he feels like her touch is electric against his skin. The drive to Lucy's house feels like it lasts much further into the night than it really does. It was still only just about midnight when he pulled up to her door.

"Here you are." He keeps his eyes averted from the girl, feeling shy under her expectant gaze.

"Aww, no goodbye kiss?" She jokes but he doesn't laugh. His eyes meet hers, darkening with desire he couldn't hide, not from himself or her.

"Lucy… I." His voice trembles quietly. They gravitate to one another almost imperceptibly so. He was clearly nervous and at a loss for words, more vulnerable to her than ever. He wanted her and could feel himself on the verge of falling, but he could not let go just yet. Lucy wanted more than anything to push him over the edge and she knew she could if she tried. She had him in the palm of her hand now, but she could see the battling in his eyes. She feared if she pushed too far he'd scare or regret it. She decided to offer him mercy… just this once.

Lucy creeps closer and looks him in the eyes once more right before she reaches him. "So it all comes down to willpower, huh?" Schroeder doesn't reply, lost in her eyes and every movement she makes. "You're a model of restraint, Schroeder." His throat goes dry.

"Please… don't tempt me too far.. I'm only a man, Lucy." He whispers, begging. For he knew he was incredibly close to losing control. She closes the distance and softly touches her lips to his. Schroeder's eyes flutter shut as he accepts the affection against his better judgment. The moment is brutally fleeting, lasting only a short second though it feels like an eternity. Lucy pulls away, inching back as slowly as she'd approached. They both hold their breath, so unsure and anxious of what would happen next, like they were afraid something catastrophic may suddenly occur. But it didn't.

"Goodnight." Lucy says finally, fighting to contain her smile at the sight of Schroeder reduced to putty in front of her. She fought with every bone in her body to back away and open the door just as it took everyone of Schroeder's to stop himself from pulling her back. He ached for her kiss, his cheeks flushed red, he felt hot. He had goosebumps from the lingering ghost of her lips. How wonderful it would've been for them both if he had the courage to admit he wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms. The feeling of her pulling him closer, fingers tangled in his hair, gripping tight and his own, wandering up her thighs under her dress. The sound of their groans and the car humming as it idles and the smell of Lucy's perfume and Schroeder's folders and folders of sheet music on the back floor.

But none of that was to be tonight. She glanced back once more at the boy, giving him a small wave as she walked inside. Schroeder remained still for a minute processing what had happened. He decided he'd figure it out later and turned back to face forward to drive away.

He dialed up his radio on the classical station to drown out his thoughts and opened his windows all the way, craving the fresh after-rain air to knock sense into him. His thoughts remained trained on the girl, imagining her on his piano as he played the music he was listening to on the radio. He had been so entranced by the fantasy that he didn't hear the ambulance as he approached his street, his house coming into view. He felt perplexed for a short moment as he processed the sight in front of him, the ambulance sitting in front of his house. His heart sunk. He could feel it without thinking for even a second.

"Mum?"

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Chapter 6 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note):

- Ok so let me just start off by saying, the research I did for this chapter was perhaps the most unhinged and excessive lol (it's sad, I won't even get to share everything because there's so much that's just not imporant enough or were for moments and scenes that got altered or chopped). As a result, so is this deep dive and we're gonna start things off real strong by discussing the history of drive-in theaters in St. Paul, Minnesota lol. Did you know there's a whole catalogue you can read about it? Because I read that whole document hahaha. Fascinating history lol. So yea, Minnehaha was a real drive-in theater that existed at this time. The Wednesday picnic is also a real thing also from this time but that detail comes from a different drive-in in the area. But ya know, close enough lol. Also, the movies I listed that they watches as a kid came from this list.

- Edit after a few mins after publishing: omg I keep having to edit to add to the deep dive shit I forgot. "L'il Folks" was the name of Charles Schulz' comic strip before Peanuts which was like the predecessor and where multiple of the characters were first created.

- All the snacks I listed come from the Thanksgiving tv special where Snoopy makes dinner but it's all just snack food.

- Omg I agonized over which characters to include and what they should be doing for sooooo long it's not even funny. Such a headache. I had to make like a chart and I also wanted to include as many characters graduated as non graduated so then the list kept getting longer and omg I might've overdone it but I am definitely getting inspired on how to use them all for the duration of the story so I'm rising to the challenge to not let anyone be there completely needlessly.

- AHHHHH the football scene ahahhahahaha. I just had to do it to ya. Plus it was the perfect time for it because the date for the drive-in portion of the chapter is September 24th, 1969. Yes that's right, I have a calendar of events for this story so I know down to the day when things are happening in relation to historic events and not just major historic events (we'll get to that in a minute). But yea anyway, as you can see from the strip references, that's perfect for the approximate date that Schulz would release his annual football gag.

- Roy and Sophie both are minor characters who repeatedly complained about being lonesome in the strip. Also his line here, which is the first and only line he has in this chapter, was also his first and only line in his first ever strip appearance.

- So you know how I said 'not just major historic events.' The Minnesota Twins Baseball team is not just the real team but there was really a game scheduled for that Saturday September 27th, 1969 and then it really was rescheduled for the next day due to rain. Bam. Pointless historical accuracy I know. How long do you think I contemplated what date to make homecoming yall? Far too long hahahaha. I told you this shit was gonna get unhinged. We're still just in the beginning of the chapter oh lord.

- Franklin Armstrong obviously studies Astronomy. Shout out to discord friends for giving me that idea. Franklin also routinely talks about his grandfather in the strip which is why I decided to have him play a role in his story.

- The point Franklin implies about white men being less targeted for draft resistance was inspired by a lot of research into the draft and unequal treatment through the whole process. But let me bring attention to one name in particular. Narasiṅgha Mahāraja. He was one of the only 3250 men to serve prison for draft evasion out of the estimated more than 570,000 who did. I encourage you to read his story here. His story is just one of many and again it wasn't just about draft evaders but also again through the whole process. Black men were more likely to be drafted, less likely to be granted deferment, and more likely to be assigned to combat units.

- MY FAIR LADY. The famous "don't tell me I've grown accustomed to that face" strip is a reference to the movie "My Fair Lady." when professor Henry Higgins sings 'I've Grown Accustomed to That Face' realizing he'd come to love Eliza Doolittle.

- Ok so let's talk about Schroeder's accent. Did you know Avan Jogia, the actor who played Beck on Victorious, is half British? Listen to his voice enough in interviews, especially older ones, and you'll hear how I imagine Schroeder talking hahahah.

- I must say, I did not think of the piano tie on my own. This is a detail I've just seen in multiple different fanart and loved so I had to include it.

- I feel like Linus would say words like "dapper" a lot lol. I don't know if that makes any sense.

- Speidel British Sterling cologne was indeed one of the most popular colognes at the time and affordable too.

- Omg ok so the scene where his eyes land on Lucy, I've had that mostly written for like 4 years or more lol, I've been dyingggggggg to share it with the world hahah. I loveee it. Also it reminds me of when Romeo sees Juliet in Romeo and Juliet so that's a little bit of a callback to last chapter.

- Ok ok more unhinged levels of research. Not only did I look at homecoming and prom photos from the 40s-60s for days on end, but I went to a vintage clothes store in my city to look at 50s prom dresses (because I feel like Lucy dresses more 40s and 50s than 60s) and I kinda already had an idea in my head at that point but omg look at what I found there. This is the primary inspiration for her dress though it's not exact. I sadly could not justify buying it because it did not fit me.

- Joe Garagiola is a real life baseball player and radio commentator that Charlie Brown talks about a few times in the strip.

- Gordon's Gin was the most popular at the time from what I could tell.

- Ted Uhlaender was a real player at this time on the Minnesota Twins team and that was his real batting average.

- This photo of Linus is part of what inspired his crash out and him clawing at the wall hahaha.

- The ice cream escapade is honestly so self indulgent as is this whole chapter lol. The ice cream parlor is for once not actually inspired by a singular real place, just photos of them at the time generally.

- Oooh them standing in line for something. This was a reoccurring thing in the strips. I'm not sure I would call it a gag in of itself. More like set up for a gag in the same way Lucy leaning on Schroeder's piano was a reoccurring set up.

- Harold is only in a handful of strips but is a romantic interest to Sally which is why I picked him for this. Originally, the scene idea I had was for her to be legitimately dancing with him but as soon as the idea of it being a set up came to my head, I couldn't NOT do that lol.

- Lake Como, real place, obviously exactly where it's stated to be along with Duck Pointe. I stared at google photos of so many lakes to find the perfect one. Definitely go check out pics of this place and tell me you can't see the Peanuts gang ice skating there in the winter like they do in the Christmas special and playing hockey or this dancing scene happening there under moonlight. AHHHH. It's just perfect.

- "So it all comes down to willpower, huh?" "Please… don't tempt me too far.. I'm only a man, Lucy." AHHHH based on some of my favorite lines from The Royal Romance series by Choices. You can watch that scene for yourself here.

- Ok all I'm gonna say about his mom at this time hahaha is that I did drop a hint in this chapter about what's gonna happen and if you're a big of enough Peanuts nut, you can catch it. That's the only hint you're getting though LOL.

- Ok final thoughts. 'Interruptions.' First of all, I think it's so funny that everyone's working so hard to get them together yet they're still getting interrupted so much lol. Also, the game was interrupted by rain and Schroeder's mom interrupts his playing to make him go shopping and the moment at the end is interrupted by a brutal crashing reality that something terrible might be happening. So that's kinda the through line for this chapter and what brought me to that as the name but 'Homecoming' had been the name for years so that's why I decided to leave it as an alt title. Oh my god this chapter was so so much fun. Going in real life to look at vintage dresses for Lucy was so fucking wild of me omg but it was so much fun and learning about drive-ins and listening to that soundtrack on repeat for weeks at this point lol. And NOW IT'S OUT ON VALENTINE'S DAY OMG!!! how fucking perfect. Jesus I'm really starting to cry as I go to write my author's note now.

Chapter Text

(A//N: Hey yall, welcome to the second act! If that matters at all idk. Jfc sorry this was so late. Was in a car accident recently that delayed me and also meant to have this out in my bday on the 27th but then I was violently ill on my bday ugh. Anyway. Real quick, if you normally skip the deep dives, you’re gonna wanna read the first bullet on this one. I can finally reveal what inspired this fic without it being a spoiler and I’ve been dying to share this all these years so definitely read that, I promise it’s interesting. 

Next, the companion piece I mentioned before, I decided to make it a tumblr blog. So here is the link to that. At time of writing it is still pretty under construction and will be for a bit but give it a follow to stay tuned for what’s to come or if you don’t have tumblr you can always check back at this link in the future and scroll through the page on a browser, you just won’t be able to follow or like and comment on content but you should still be able to view it all. The companion blog will be for expanded deep dives, progress updates, more bonus content like playlists, art, showcasing any fan made content, future one shots, research rabbit holes, q&as maybe some in character ones too we’ll see, just whatever I feel like really. 

Lastly, the new cover art!!!! Took me months cuz I got no drawing experience lol but hope you guys like it! Im also going ahead right now and adding it on chap 1 as well

Anyway enjoy the chapter!)

Rays of sunshine stream in through the window above Lucy's bed, bringing an end to her peaceful slumber and causing her eyes to flutter awake. She yawns and slowly rises with a stretch before opening her window. Taking in the crisp autumn air that flowed in around her, she could feel deep within herself that it was to be a terrific day. She had been able to sleep in undisturbed and her mind was still filled with the memories of Schroeder and her dancing in the rain together the night before. To top off the glorious weekend, this sunny Sunday, she'd get to spend her afternoon and evening with him and the rest of their friends at Charlie Brown's house, crowded in his living room to watch the rescheduled baseball game together.

Lucy eagerly begins sifting through her closet in search of the perfect outfit, something to both make her feel beautiful and radiant and capture Schroeder's wandering eyes which she was nearly coming to expect. She is seeking something frilly and playful yet chic and settles on a sleeveless halter dress patterned with lemon tree branches that was too short and 'scandalous' to get away with at school, but for a weekend outing with friends, made for the perfect attire. She removes the curlers she'd slept in and brushes out her hair, transforming it to full voluminous waves, a bit looser than she normally wore, before styling her bangs, taking note of the growing length for which she would soon need a trim. Pulling from her drawer of carefully organized and labeled lip products, she opts for a simple sheer sunset gloss along with a light blush and powder. But for her eyes, she decides on a dramatic double winged eyeliner inspired by some of the jaw dropping looks that she'd seen on Sophia Loren in magazines in hopes she could exude even a fraction of the star's angelic enchantment.

After she finishes readying herself, Lucy makes her way to the kitchen to join her family for their routine Sunday brunch which, based on the available spread on the kitchen table this morning, consisted of pastries and fruits. Her younger brothers Linus and Rerun along with their father sit around the table enjoying their meal while the radio which was placed in the center of the floral patterned cloth reports on the morning news. Lucy's mother stands at the counter, chopping vegetables to have prepped for the weekend, but upon the entrance of her daughter, her eyes peer up to appraise her appearance as she begins work on her morning tea.

"Lucy, dearie. What is that you're wearing? Where did you get that dress?" Her mother purses her lips, uncomfortable by what was, in her eyes, her daughter's display of immodesty.

"What do you mean? What's wrong with it, mother?" Lucy doesn't lift her eyes from her heating kettle while reaching for her favorite blend of leaves out of the cabinet.

"I know you're growing up sweetie, but don't you think it's quite… quite revealing?" Her mother asks gently in almost a whisper, obviously reluctant to even say the word.

"So what of it? I feel pretty in it and I'm just going to hang around friends." Lucy gives a playful curtsy, showing herself off.

"I just… can't understand the youth these days, you young girls always are showing your shoulders and good grief! The skirts! They just keep getting shorter and shorter." She cries out. "It wasn't like that when we were your age was it, honey?" She turns to her husband for support and his eyes dart between the two, innocently remaining quiet as he brings his coffee to his mouth to sip.

"Well things change, mother." Lucy dismisses the topic which elicits a long defeated sigh from her mother who decides to drop it and return to her chopping. She had raised her daughter long enough to know not every battle was worth fighting when it came to her. She could never be too upset with her though, for she was well aware her beloved daughter's intractability and drama was passed down from none other than herself.

Once Lucy's tea reaches a simmer, she carefully carries the steaming mug to sit at the table between her brothers before grabbing herself a bagel. Their father hums to himself as he reads his morning paper and the voice of a radio presenter blasts quietly as the volume is set to low.

"Gooood Morning, Twin Cities! Today is Sunday, September 28th, and the temperature will get up to the cool and comfortable mid to high 60s. Finally, it is starting to feel like autumn, folks!"

"Oh this article here is about schools and education. It says small classes are better." Their father says, sparking conversation.

"If I stayed home, classes would be even smaller." Rerun grumbles. *January 19th, 1998 strip reference*

"October is just around the corner which means the deadline has been reached for the government to end the war in Vietnam set back in April by Jerome Grossman, the president of the Political Action for Peace organization in Massachusetts. With the death toll of our troops that we've been reporting on for you continuing to grow week after week, it is safe to say the war will not be ending soon, folks."

"Oh it's not that bad Rerun, I know you got friends. And next year you'll start high school and I'll start driving and I can take us out to lunch." Linus suggests as he picks a strawberry from across the table.

"I don't know... Someone at school the other day asked me if I had an older brother who still carried around his blanket in his backpack until last year and I replied, 'no, I'm an only child—'" to this, Lucy finally looks up from her food she'd been devouring.

"In response to the war ongoing past this deadline, this October 15th, coalitions from across the nation are gathering in Washington, DC and leading demonstrations in nearly every major city to hold what they are calling a "moratorium" against the war. President Nixon said Friday "under no circumstances will I be affected whatever by the moratorium." Many politicians and authorities have expressed concern over the possibility of violence and rioting from protestors with many invoking the violence and chaos that unfolded at the DNC in Chicago last year for which the group of defendants known as the Chicago 8 are currently standing trial, accused of conspiracy to incite a riot."

"Then someone else said "'but don't you have a weird older sister who's a senior?'" Their father coughed on his coffee as he snorted at his youngest but quickly hid his smile behind his newspaper from his oldest. "'No', I insisted. 'I'm an only child.'" Rerun recounted with a perfectly deadpan expression. He was a masterful troll of his siblings. *January 30th, 1998 strip reference*

"Tomorrow the ongoing court spectacle will resume the jury selection which is already causing quite the stir between the defense and prosecution. The circus began last week with opening statements which were almost immediately interrupted when the judge ordered the arrest of four defense attorneys who were not present on the first day of court. They claim they were only working on the case pre-trial and to have submitted their formal withdrawals from the case through telegrams but the judge refused to listen to this."

"How am I supposed to make friends with this reputation, Linus? You're my older brother. You're supposed to be my role model." Linus rolled his eyes.

"So, what do you want me to do?" He shrugs.

"So, role!" *April 22nd, 1999 strip reference*

"Defendant Bobby Seale, chairman of the Black Panther Party, also dismissed eight of his nine defense attorneys and regarded Judge Hoffman as a quote 'blatant racist.' Other defendants had their own gasp worthy entrances with Tom Hayden raising a fist to the jurors and Yippie leader Abbie Hoffman blowing them a kiss which the judge quickly ordered they disregard. Each defendant faces up to 5 years in prison and up to $5,000 in fines."

"It sounds like you don't think I can be a very good one." Linus says sarcastically.

"Not with that attitude! But it's okay, Linus. Gramma says we learn from our mistakes."

"No, that isn't true. You learn from listening to everything your older sister tells you." Lucy declares matter of factly while reaching down beside her to the dictionary she'd left the day before for fun morning reading.

"Is that true?" Rerun asks his brother with sincerity though, internally, he was laughing as Linus hid under his blanket, which he still held onto at home in secret from their friends, to avoid both their stares. Lucy plops the gigantic book on the table and flips it open as her family gazes on, long familiar with her strangeness. *July 7th, 1999 strip reference*

"In additional news, last week a new bill was introduced to the house which, if passed, would execute President Nixon's plan to overhaul the draft system, creating a lottery inducting 19 year old men first—"

"Maybe someday you can explain her to me." Rerun remarks and returns to eating. *May 9th, 1995 strip reference*

The trio of siblings finishes their brunch and cleans their plates before departing as a unit to stroll to Charlie Brown's house. Under the beautiful blue sky and shining sun, Lucy felt the world was telling her it would be a beautiful day. For the clouds today were shaped like insects and she knew that could only mean her fortune was high and wishes could come true. Her heart fluttered as she thought again about seeing Schroeder after their time together the night prior. She smiled to herself at the memory of his flustered deep red cheeks, struggling to hide her giddiness in front of her perceptive brothers who'd certainly tease her. But they did notice her unusual lowered crabbiness and slight pep in her step though they didn't inquire about it.

When they arrive, they are instantly greeted by a seemingly stressed Charlie Brown, hurrying to get back to the television to keep up with the game. They enter to see that nearly the whole gang had already gathered and were joyfully laughing together over snacks and soda. The three almost instantly split up, knowing who to find and where in the crowded room they belonged without even needing to think thanks to their lifetime of communing. Lucy's eyes spot Violet and Patty chatting intently against the wall, so she saunters to them excitedly.

"Heyy! How'd the rest of your nights go?" Lucy asks with a bright grin as she shoots Violet a subtle yet suggestive glance. She hoped maybe her friends had the opportunity to connect a bit deeper alone as well.

"It was fine.” Patty answers immediately. “Not much different than all the other dances. But I had a nice time. Oh, and that ice cream place was so crowded! And I got some chocolate on my orange dress. But the cashier was pretty cute. I should've asked for his number." She continues to ramble about a random assortment of details in a stream of consciousness. "Then I was chatting with Charlie Brown and I went to his house to hang out for a little bit afterwards." Violet listens, trying her best to keep up her forced smile.

"What about you, Violet?"

"Oh yeah where did you go?" Patty asks, realizing it only now occurred to her she hadn't known what her friend had gotten up to.

"Well, you left with him from the ice cream parlor so I just walked home after that. The dance was fine."

"Oh nice." Patty replies unsure what else to say. She figured her friend must have not thought much about the night. "Oh there's Frieda. I got to go talk to her. I'll be back in a bit." Patty hurries off, distracted from the conversation.

"You don't seem like you had too much fun…" Lucy dolefully remarks to Violet.

"No, it was alright." She says with the same inauthentic grin. It was clear to Lucy she seemed disinterested in divulging on the topic further and so, she decided to change it.

"So, what fun are you getting up to this week?"

"Oh ya know, just all the cleaning duties around the house yet again. Same old routine as always." Her tone was bitter and Lucy got the impression that Violet was internally tormented about far deeper issues.

The front door suddenly swings open to Franklin who stands keeled over and panting, fully out of breath as he mutters apologies. "Sorry I'm so late."

"Relax, Franklin! We're just happy you're here!" Peppermint Patty greets him with a powerful pat on the back. "Never any need to rush on a Sunday, Frank!"

"Well, I sure need to! I was looking after my grandfather all last night and this morning. He was talking my ear off again but I wasn't gonna waste a moment of it, I always will listen to all he wants to say. He's slowing down more and more lately… But damn, yeah, I'm just so behind on homework. I have an essay to write that I haven't even started that I'll need to work on while I'm here—"

"No, no. No one is doing homework during the game! We finally got you here, you're ours now!" Charlie Brown says with a clap of his hands on Franklin's shoulders before pulling him into a hug.

Peppermint Patty had been maneuvering through the party to chat with José, but it suddenly dawned on her that she was now alone and her companion was no longer beside her. She looks around the party for Marcie and, when her sight doesn't find her, she decides to check the kitchen.

"Oh, there you are!" She spots her and smiles adoringly as she approaches, leaning down to plant a quick but tender kiss on her inviting lips.

"I was just getting another drink outta the fridge." Marcie blushes as she pushes her glasses up her nose.

"We should go out for a breakfast date tomorrow, babe." Peppermint declares as she lifts herself up to sit on the counter and takes a drink from her solo cup.

"Uhhh, I wanted you to ask your supervisor about working full time, remember? Are you not scheduled in the morning?" She interrogates and crosses her arms.

"And I told you I don't wanna. I make enough as it is and I don't feel like getting up earlier." Peppermint Patty explains exasperated as she felt like she was being nagged for the same thing once again. She didn't like being told what to do nor having expectations placed upon her even from the one person whose opinion truly mattered to her. Marcie sighs at her girlfriend's stubbornness. She understood where her resistance stemmed from but still needed her to see the bigger picture and what was best for their desired shared future.

"All I've been saying, babe is if you go full time, we could finally get a place of our own." Marcie replies, standing in front of Peppermint and placing her hand atop hers on the counter soothingly.

"Why do we need to worry about that right now?" She whines, rolling her eyes. "We have my house to ourselves almost all the time and my dad doesn't stick his nose in our business anyway."

"Yeah, because he doesn't show interest in anything you do, babe. He's a piece of garbage." Marcie counters. She never hesitated to tell her love the truth even when it hurt. It was simultaneously one of her best and worst qualities.

"At least we don't have to hide around him like your family. You're getting on my ass about getting serious and moving forward but you still don't have the guts to come clean to them." To this, Marcie falls silent which makes Peppermint's heart sink to her stomach. She never had been very good about thinking before she spoke, but especially not while already defensive. "No, I'm sorry babe—"

"It's fine." Marcie cuts her off and takes a step back. "Let's just go try to have a good time, okay?" Peppermint Patty gloomily nods in agreement to drop the topic for now. They'd both touched a bit of a nerve, but they hated fighting. They knew their love was deep and unconditional and that their intentions with one another always pure. Still, Marcie was beginning to grow tired of waiting for her lifelong love to get more serious about both her own life and their shared future. Meanwhile, Peppermint Patty was exhausted having to hide herself and their relationship from Marcie's family after so many years. Surely, they had to suspect something by now, right?

Peppermint Patty grew up understanding intimately how she was different and often outcasted in ways, feeling routinely perceived as a failure to the expectations placed on her by forces out of her control. For the sake of her own sanity, she had long adapted to not letting other people's perceptions bother her, at least for the most part, but she still sympathized with Marcie's terror at the prospect of living authentically and disappointing her folks if not worse. It was true, she knew what it felt like to be abandoned by her mom… and more or less her father as well if she was honest with herself which she wasn't. At the same time, Marcie who herself was unable to stand up to her family, always finding the words to be stuck in her throat, couldn't bring herself to be completely mad at her girlfriend for not wanting to let go of her father in spite of his neglect and mistreatment over the years.

Back in the living room, out of the corner of her eye, Lucy spots her brother Linus leaning against the wall, wearing perhaps the biggest and most blissful smile she'd ever seen grace his expression. His gaze lay firmly on the young blonde and blue eyed beauty in front of him, Sally Brown whom he was chatting, their pinkies laced together down at their sides in a manner that was likely far less subtle than either of them realized. Well brother, I guess you're finally taking chances on yourself. Good for you. But, I will definitely still be teasing you for this. And Charlie Brown better not take it out on me when he finds out. The aforementioned Charlie Brown remains in his typical spot nearest to the small family television with his eyes glued to the game. He was far too engrossed to notice what his sister was up to.

Lucy scans the space and all the attendees in search of Schroeder who she still had yet to bump into. She realizes he was the only one absent among their friends and while this wasn't completely unheard of for him as he had been known on occasion to get lost playing his piano or simply choose it over socializing, Lucy had no doubt he would be here today. She knew he may not be quite ready to speak directly about it, but she was certain that the sparks she'd felt the night before, for once, were reciprocated and Schroeder would undoubtedly be yearning for her company again despite his best efforts to maintain his appearance of indifference. She brushes off any burgeoning worries and decides to continue about the party unbothered. Schroeder would surely be here soon and probably even find her himself.

Violet leans her head upon her hand which she had resting on the arm of the couch central to the room facing directly at the TV. She paid no mind to the game however, her attention completely fixated on her best friend beside.

"Hey, who is hosting the Halloween party this year?" Eudora calls out to everyone.

"That would be me." Violet replies with an anxious chuckle and a fearful gleam in her eyes as she shyly raises her hand above her head. "Hey, Patty." She nudges her for attention and Patty doesn't pull her gaze from where it was trained afar, but she does lazily lean to the side to listen. "You should help me with the party plans. It would be so fun decorating and making drinks together. And I'm so nervous about hosting, having you there—"

"Oh don't worry, Violet, I know you got this! I believe in you, you're a wonderful host and friend! And besides, I can't. I, uh, I'm just really busy with babysitting and job hunting right now." She trails off and a moment later she stands up abruptly without a word to mingle with others, leaving Violet to continue sulking in her own storm of anxieties and watching the one she loved from her little corner, yearning and tortured by her awareness that her feelings were still likely one sided. Maybe even more and more so everyday. She could feel her oldest and dearest friend and woman she'd been in love with for years beginning to slip away in more ways than one. What felt like the impending slow and painful loss left Violet feeling more alone than ever which was already a feeling she was unfortunately intimately familiar with.

Around three quarters of the way through the game, Lucy impatiently looks to the door once more, feeling at this point confused and concerned that Schroeder still had yet to appear, especially without a word. He could've at least called Charlie by now if something came up. She resolves to call him herself and tracks down Charlie Brown, still closest to the TV, but now accompanied by Patty who seemed to have joined in with his intent focus.

"Hey, Charlie Brown. Do you mind if I use your phone to call Schroeder and see what's holding him up?"

"Yeah, yeah. Tell him he needs to get over here." He answers without sparing her a glance. Lucy trots with anticipation to the side table by the window which held the yellow rotary phone for the household. She mutters his memorized number under her breath as she dials and then listens closely as it rings, biting her nails and watching leaves swaying in the gentle breeze through the blinds. It rings and rings until there was no answer. No problem, she thought. She dials again and after it rings for three times, she finally hears the click of an answer and her face immediately brightens.

"Hello?" Schroeder spoke softly.

"Ohhh, Schroederrrrrr!" Lucy's voice sings through the phone. "Are you going to be here soon?" She twirls the cord with her finger, delighted to finally hear from him.

"Be where?" His voice was quiet and confused, but above all, it sounded laced with exhaustion.

"Charlie Brown's house, of course. You didn't forget did you? We're all here watching the game, snacking, having a good time." She reminds him happily.

"I'm not coming." He responds coldly. Lucy stops in her tracks and scoffs, taken aback.

"Why?!"

"Nothing. Everything's fine. I'm just staying home." Lucy could feel his defensiveness and frustration but had not a clue where it was coming from. Their line stays silent for a minute as she tries to process his words and unexpected emotions. She wonders if she had indeed pushed him too far the night before but that explanation didn't feel quite right either and she wasn't just thinking that because of how it may wound her spirit if he were avoiding her.

"Are you feeling alright, Schroeder?" She finally asks with genuine concern.

"Yes. I gotta go."

"Oh.. alright. Well I'll see you tomorrow morning then?"

"No, I can't. Take the bus tomorrow." He replies, now with more urgency.

"Schroeder—" He hangs up and the line goes dead. Lucy stares at the phone flabbergasted and worried. But there was nothing she could do at that moment. She finally puts down the phone and feels chills down her spine as she returns to her friends, clearing her throat and trying to shake off what she was feeling. Now wasn't the time to let this get to her or disrupt the party, she just wanted to act normal.

The next day, she reluctantly waited at the bus stop alone in the morning to go to school. Linus wasn't at the stop for her to use as an outlet for her frustrations either and she wondered where he was. In fact, she realized she hadn't seen him leave the night prior. It occurred to her he may have snuck out to be with Sally. She would definitely use this in her favor when the time struck. Rerun wouldn't be here either, even if he didn't have a later scheduled bus as a middle schooler, he would've rather feigned sickness to their mother than be caught dead on the bus with his sister in front of his peers.

Lucy was grateful to find a seat to herself towards the back of the bus as she just wanted to pout to herself in the absence of her normal morning companion. On the way home though, Linus did happen to board the bus and realized too late his sister was present. He, of course, found himself in the firing line of her crabby mood as she pestered him.

That Monday night as Lucy was readying herself for bed, she laid on the couch and reached for the living room phone to call Schroeder again, trying to speak quietly as her parents were already in bed.

"Hello, again." She greets him cheekily as she rolls over on her side to face the cushions.

"Hi." Schroeder replies dryly which would've potentially hinted to Lucy to his emotional state if he didn't already quite normally speak as such.

"Soooo… I'll be seeing you in the morning right?"

"Lucy, I'm still not feeling well—"

"Really? What's not feeling well? Are you sick?"

"Lucy, must you always stick your nose in everything?!" He snaps at her through the phone, taking her by surprise as it had the day prior. "Everything's fine! I'll call you when I can take you to school again!" He hangs up on her once more before she even has a chance to digest his words. The pit of worry and fear in her stomach continues to grow and she is again left perplexed. Sure he was rather avoidant, but this clearly was something else.

The following day at school, Lucy finally begins to resign herself to her reality which in her opinion, was one of utter boredom as she sat at her desk with none of her classes properly able to hold her attention. Lucy had, in the span of a day, moved herself through all the stages of grief about her predicament of indefinite loneliness at school and Schroeder's lack of communication over whatever it was that he was dealing with. She had finally reached acceptance to the likelihood that this week of school would drag on at a snail's pace with little to keep her entertained.

She spent her free periods that she'd typically spend with her beloved in the auditorium laid upon the piano, instead, in the library scouring for new books to entice her. Unfortunately, not even that could hold her interest. Another day, she carried on conversations with the bugs she could find on the sidewalk outside the school, a habit she'd carried from childhood as with most things. She really was quite lonely this fall without Schroeder with the rest of her closest friends having already graduated by the year prior. Lucy had never been the shy type and didn't struggle to make friends when she tried, but she already had an undeniably large group of friends at this point in her life from her childhood and adolescence in her neighborhood and school. As the end of her high school years continued its approach, she wasn't going out of her way much anymore to expand her circles further in her classes. She certainly maintained admirers both of the variety that wanted to woo and be her, but none of that was really of her interest.

That Thursday eventually arrived after what felt like ages to the lonely girl which was the day she had been meeting at the theatre every week. She hadn't yet auditioned for any particular roles as she still felt quite new to the whole thing, but she was having immense fun with their many acting activities and games and with helping backstage for the ongoing shows on the weekends, allowing her the opportunity to learn hands on. This evening, Lucy arrived to discover they had planned an evening of monologue practice which excited her as she had been loving every chance she was getting to discover herself as an actress, no matter how brief or basic of an exercise.

She sat in a seat in the front row of the theatre, listening closely to the director as he explained the plan. Everyone was to be assigned a monologue from a stack of scripts he'd provided they had in stock from previous plays and was to practice with a partner. There were no real stakes, everyone was to just enjoy themselves and encouraged to frequently switch partners for variety and to get to know more people. Above all else, this was a bonding and public speaking exercise as there was little time in a single evening to truly memorize and exceptionally nail down the performance of a dramatic monologue and with a partner at that. At least for most.

Lucy pulls a page from the table, all of them turned face down in order to thoroughly randomize the selection. Her page was out of Shakespeare's play, Troilus and Cressida, specifically Cressida's confession from the third act. Lucy had read the play though it had been a few years, but she felt confident in her ability to portray the character and recite the challenging early English. She is still scanning over the script when she notices a young man taking a careful step up to her with a warm grin.

"Hello, I'm Aaron. It's nice to meet you." He extends his hand to shake which she does.

"A pleasure. Lucy."

"Ah, from the Latin 'Lucia', meaning 'of the light'." He notes as he reads her, seeming as if he was trying to decipher a puzzle.

"Or born at dawn." She adds nonchalantly. Perhaps he was accustomed to dazzling others with Latin knowledge, but for Lucy, he would need to do far better than that.

"Impressive."

"Not really. Pretty basic vocabulary. I'm certain my Latin proficiency exceeds yours." He lets out a surprised laugh at her confidence.

"I was wondering if you'd have me as a partner?" She considers him for a moment but ultimately, she hadn't really minded who she paired with. She was still getting acquainted with everyone and there were often different people everyday she was present as everyone had varying interests involved with the theatre and degrees of commitment.

"Alright." She agrees and they proceed up the small staircase to the stage where all the pairs were gathering to begin, some sitting and some standing.

"What script did you pull?" Lucy inquires.

"Peabody. Marlowe, third act, character is Bame. I was in this play when we did it, but not this role, so this is somewhat new to me."

"What role did you have?"

"The lead."

"Well, then my expectations will still be high." She says with a sarcastic snark which makes him chuckle.

"What's yours?" He returns the question.

"Shakespeare; Cressida, third act, second scene. I've read it before, but it's been awhile."

"I'm sure you'll still be able to pull together a satisfactory performance." He smirks. "Satisfactory?" Is he challenging me?

"Hmm, 'satisfactory' indeed." The pair first each read aloud their monologues to one another in a normal speaking voice to acquaint each other with the text and then begin discussing the context of their scenes which were also provided on their sheet though neither had need to reference. They exchange ideas on the emotions and characterizations and how they envisioned their roles should be played, finding themselves almost more engrossed in conversation about the respective stories than the activity at hand. Finally, Lucy suggests they begin rereading their scripts to themselves in final preparation for practicing the performance with one another, but neither would be expected to actually look away from the page while doing so.

It was not even a few minutes later that Lucy realized she didn't need her script— that her mind had already absorbed the text as it did so well and so often. With this epiphany, she began to rehearse her lines in her head, conceptualizing the scene and herself in the character so vividly in her spectacular imagination.

"I'm ready." She announces casually to her partner who darts his eyes to her in near disbelief.

"Uhhh, are you sure? There's no hurry, you can have more time to familiarize yourself with it if you need." There was that dare in his voice again. Lucy thought it nothing but humorous that he believed his pressure could make her nervous.

"Hold this." She commands with a thin smile and holds out her script for him to take. He raises his eyebrows and smiles at her willingness to accept his challenge.

"Boldness comes to me now, and brings me heart," she starts, her face falling instantly into a look of tense anxiety. Aaron's smile evaporates as well at the sudden shift in demeanor.

"Prince Troilus," she addresses him louder this time, commanding the attention of everyone else who had still been in the stage of conversation with their partners, reading or practicing single lines. "I have lov’d you night and day For many weary months." Her lip trembles and as she utters the confession, her eyes not for a moment leaving Aaron's.

"Hard to seem won; but I was won, my lord," she says with full conviction and places her hand to her chest.

"With the first glance that ever– Pardon me—" she pauses and feigns a hitch in her throat as if she were on the verge of tears. "If I confess much you will play the tyrant." She trails off, finally looking to the floor with a shyness.

"I love you now, but till now not so much But I might master it… Oh In faith I lie –" she admits with anguish. "My thoughts were like unbridled children, grown Too headstrong for their mother. – See, we fools!"

"Why have I blabb’d? Who shall be true to us When we are so unsecret to ourselves?" She looks to the ceiling as if pleading with the lord for answers.

"But though I lov’d you well, I woo’d you not." Lucy shakes her head and spits her words, displaying her defensiveness as as she returns to Aaron's gaze once again, her eyes completely glazed over.

"And yet, good faith, I wish’d myself a man, Or that we women had men’s privilege Of speaking first." She gasps suddenly and clasps her hand over her mouth to stop her words.

"Sweet, bid me hold my tongue! For in this rapture I shall surely speak The thing I shall repent." Tears finally fall as she goes quiet per the script, her character awaiting a response.

"See, see, your silence, Cunning in dumbness, from my weak draws My very soul of counsel." She accuses with an angry pointed finger before berating herself once more. "Stop my mouth."

Lucy finishes her lines and turns to take in the dozens of eyes she'd drawn from all around. For a moment, she wonders if maybe she had not delivered to the level she'd strived to meet. She does a shy but proud curtsy and everyone erupts into a delighted and uproarious applause, including from Aaron who smiled with genuine respect for her performance. He recognized the spark of showstopping and enthralling talent that he had worked to the bone to hone within himself for so long. He envied how natural and with such ease it seemed to come to her, even if he could only infer from the single interaction, but he was eager to get to know what he felt might finally be real competition. And Lucy, well she had never felt so invigorated and enticed by a creative pursuit and wanted nothing more than to see how she could grow.

The next day, Lucy returned to her lonesome routine, carrying on with a pout on her face. However, today it seemed like she wasn't the only one at school having an abysmal time. She had noticed two girls in her third period passing notes with fearful and angered expressions and another girl who'd barreled through the hallway, rushing to the exit as she tried to cover her sobs with her hand. At the end of the day, Lucy stands at her locker, somberly filing away the textbooks she wouldn't need for her homework this weekend and a trio of girls a few lockers down are huddled, speaking in a poor attempt to remain hushed.

"She's been suspended too!"

"Helen, Nancy, and Susie all got detention."

"Really? Susie? What was she even wearing?!"

"Trousers!" The other two gasp.

"They can't be serious!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Lucy finally cuts in, unable to resist her curiosity, though she was afraid she already had gathered somewhat of an idea.

"They've been handing out detentions and a few suspensions the last few days and some girls got letters to their parents about administration 'cracking down on dress code enforcement.'"

"And it's for the silliest shit too, like for pants! Or a skirt that was just an inch too short. And some other girl wasn't wearing a bra, as if that's anyone's business anyway! They've all been accused of being 'distractions in the classroom'." Lucy listens with growing disgust.

"They're trying to make examples out of them!”

"Don't they have better things to worry about?! Jeez. What we wear has no bearing on our ability to learn and it's not our problem if men can't keep their eyes to themselves." Lucy grumbles, sharing in their fury.

"I'm so fed up with this bullshit." The shortest girl of the bunch starts as she paces back and forth, slamming her fist into her other hand. "I'm telling you, one of these days, I'm just going to show up in the filthiest outfit I can fucking create and just tell all these perverted male teachers and admin to shove it!" She ends in a huff and they all fall silent. Their collective rage evolves into creating the spark of a plan and they each begin to glance to one another, trying to read if they were all forming the same wicked idea.

That Saturday, Lucy visits Dolores in the afternoon, desperate to bond with a friend, properly unwind, and spill out all the thoughts that had built up in her mind throughout the week with no one to pour them out to. They spend their time together painting on small canvasses Dolores had to share at the table while enjoying a joint and the music on the radio.

"I've been having a wonderful time at the theatre like I've been telling you. I appreciate you giving me encouragement to explore it more! I feel like I'm getting to be a part of bringing spectacular stories and characters alive. And dare I say I think I might have some talent?"

"Dare you shall!" Dolores raises the joint she held as if to toast to her friend.

"We were doing this monologue practice the other day and this smug creature of a man seemed to underestimate my capabilities. So I knocked that performance out of the park, I tell ya! I just.. soaked up the script like a sponge and the emotions just came so naturally. Everyone was watching so intently and then they all clapped and I just felt exhilarated, Dolores!" Lucy recounts, beaming.

"I know you were incredible!"

"I don't know why I didn't do this sooner.. Maybe I was afraid to take myself seriously. Especially creatively.” Lucy chews on the inside of her cheek as she attempts to analyze her own psyche.

“That makes sense. It requires vulnerability. To bear your imaginative soul is a scary endeavor because it opens the gate to failure and rejection, hate of that sincerity and authenticity within. I’m really proud of you.”

“Wow, Dolores. Thank you." She says softly, grateful for the wisdom and genuine praise from a friend.

"You better invite me to your premieres when you're a star!" Lucy laughs in response to the remark.

"Of course!” They continue to paint and relax as the conversation comes to a lull. Dolores passes Lucy the joint and she takes a long inhale before thinking of something else to talk about. "Did I tell you what's going on at school?"

"No, what kinda silly high school drama do you have going on?"

"No, no it's not that." She chuckles. "Girls are getting suspended left and right for stupid dress code shit, some girls just because they wanted to wear pants!"

"Oh the horror!" Dolores imitates the shock and disgust of the elder generations towards the fashion trend's of today's youth.

"They're being ruthless! Trying to make examples out of everybody to intimidate us. Well we're not having it. Some of the senior girls had the idea of us all protesting by dressing as improper and outlandish as possible! They’re just gonna have to punish all of us which will definitely upset more than a few parents. They don’t get to tell us what we can and can’t wear!”

"Oh my god."

"I am going to have to cut one of my skirts or something. What else do you recommend? From what I've seen, you seem to dress…. pretty free." Dolores laughs at how Lucy attempts to describe it so politely.

"I just dress in whatever makes me comfortable and I think looks cute. Fuck anyone else's rules for my body. So I say just go crazy with it. I unfortunately missed it, but one of my friends from home wrote me when I was still in New York telling me about this braless protest in San Fran over the summer. Can't believe I didn't get to be there for that." She bursts out laughing unashamed but definitely amused by her own words.

"Wait really?"

"Yeah, basically just like the protest you all are planning more or less."

"Cool." Lucy takes another puff before passing it back over and refocusing on her painting which she’d nearly forgotten about. She was working on a directionless abstract collage of whimsical shapes and designs that came to her, choosing to fully embrace her inner child for the activity. But questions nagged at her and made it difficult to think of what to paint next. "So you got a friend you still speak to from home... Is your family still in California?"

"Yeah."

"… Do you speak to them?"

"Not really at the moment." Dolores doesn’t elaborate more and Lucy questions if she’d touched too much of a nerve she had gathered was rather sensitive..

"Sorry if that's a touchy subject. I didn't mean—" She begins, but the nosiness within was painted all over her face clear as day, betraying her.

"I don't know that I'll be back for a long time. I…" She works to muster up the courage to be vulnerable by opening up about her family and past struggles. Well, ongoing struggles though she would swear on her grave that trauma was in the rearview mirror of her van as she traveled far far away.

"Dolores. You only need to share what you want."

"My family is very set in their ways, my mom especially. We were all raised very Catholic and with very specific ideas about womanhood and femininity. You should've seen the way my mom… it seemed like her heart broke when I told her I was gay. And they used to be really behind my art but the moment they realized some of my art had nudity and that I even use my own nudity in art, then it was all perverse and the devil to them. I don't accept people in my life who don't accept all of me. Life is too short to waste on people like that. I could never be myself around them. They had very different expectations for how my future and dreams would look. So I don't miss them, I only need myself." Lucy wondered to herself if Dolores was aware how obvious it was that she was lying about the last bit.

"They should feel so lucky to have such a talented and inspiring daughter."

"Indeed, they should." Dolores took a final drag before tapping it out in the ashtray and the girls settled into a quiet and peaceful lull as they continued to immerse themselves into their paintings.

The weekend crept on and Lucy spent her Sunday afternoon taking a stroll to the shops near her neighborhood, making a stop at the dime store to treat herself and to enjoy the autumn weather *February 1st, 1953 strip reference*. She may have also been looking for an excuse to walk by DeGido's, which she did on her way home, to check for Schroeder playing through the window. As she feared, he unfortunately wasn't present for his routine gig. When she arrived home, she decided to call him one more time. She had hoped to have heard from him by this point but, at this rate, it was likely to be another lonely week at school and she was no closer to knowing what he was dealing with.

"Hi Schroeder… it's kind of funny you keep calling me like this…" She spoke in a playful tone but with a bit of nervousness she was clearly trying to mask.

"I didn't call you… you called me, Lucy. I got to go." *September 15th, 1971 strip reference*

"Schroeder, wait! What's wrong?? You have me so worried. Please talk to me! Or I'll come over there myself!"

"You better not! Everything's fine! I just need space." He hangs up. Lucy's feelings are hurt but she resolves that, this time, she won't accept what he's said and to finally go check on him. Schroeder may not have wanted to admit it to anyone, himself included, but Lucy was right to suspect something was deeply wrong and that he desperately needed a friend to show up for him at this moment. For this past week had undoubtedly been the worst of his entire life…

The night of homecoming, Schroeder's car idled upon pulling onto his street as he sat frozen at the sight in front of him.

"Mum?" He whispered as he struggled to form a clear thought. There's an ambulance… Why is there an ambulance? Panic quickly set in and he parked his car without care to do it correctly, ending up on the curb. He leapt from his seat, simultaneously shutting off the engine, and ran towards his front door which sat ajar. Before he could reach it, a stretcher emerged being wheeled by EMTs and his fears were confirmed by the sight of his mother upon it, closely followed behind by his father. Time seemed to slow dramatically and Schroeder's hands started to shake as he rushed to his mother's side.

"I'm here." He reached to take her hand in his for comfort for them both. "What's going on?" He yelled to everyone and no one in particular.

"She collapsed in pain.." His father answered immediately, his face pale and full of fright.

"Everything's going to be alright, mum!" Schroeder squeezed her hand tightly and climbed up with everyone into the ambulance as the stretcher was lifted.

"Shit." Schroeder's dad cursed to himself. "I need to take the car so we have a way home." He announced to his family, his shoulders sagging as he looked with dread to his sickly wife. The thought of leaving her now was nearly unbearable.

"It's okay honey, we'll see each other soon. I'll be alright." She responded and gave him the warmest smile she could muster. He hesitated a moment before running to plant a fervent kiss on his wife's lips. He reluctantly pulled away and hopped back out of the ambulance to run to his car, leaving her and his son alone with the EMTs who closed the doors.

"How was your dance, Schroeder?" She smiled up at him, clearly attempting to speak through her agonizing pain, but whether it was to distract herself or him, Schroeder wasn't sure.

"Oh hush it, mother! Not now." He chuckled as tears stung his eyes.

"Tell me about it, please. I need something else to think about." She begged him while an EMT began taking her blood pressure. The sirens started to blare as the vehicle took off and Schroeder wished he could drown them out and everything else going on around as well.

"… Linus finally confessed his feelings for Sally.." He said, attempting to honor his mother's request but it was quite a challenge to make his mind focus on details from the night with the chaos of the present moment.

"Oh my goodness! That's so sweet." Her eyes brightened at the reveal. She had watched Schroeder's friends grow up alongside him, many of them since birth, and couldn't be happier to hear of their happiness as they collectively were coming into adulthood.

"And all of us went and got ice cream after some time." Schroeder added.

"And how did Lucy look?" She inquired with a hopefulness in her voice.

"She looked…" He started, his mind flooding with images of the breathtaking girl he had held tightly in the rain just a short while ago. "She looked beautiful. You would've loved her dress if you saw it." He did his best to push away the scenes in his head, unable to process the night amidst the terror currently clouding his thoughts.

"I hope you at least paid for her ice cream… I know I raised you to be a gentleman." She teased him.

"Augh, mum…" He groans. "Yes, I bought her ice cream," he said under his breath with his eyes averted, but he truly wasn't annoyed in the slightest right now. To this, his mother let out a great laugh that quickly brought further pain and she clutched at her abdomen. Schroeder delicately brushed her hair behind her ear and swallowed the cry in his throat. He had been blessed to have never seen his mother in such pain before though it made the present all the more striking to him. Thankfully, it wasn't much longer until they arrived at the hospital and Dena's condition appeared to be stable. Schroeder clasped the railing of the stretcher tightly as his mother was wheeled by EMTs and nurses.

"Female, aged 49, collapsed in her bathroom at home after a few hours of moderate to severe abdominal cramping. Reports mild routine spotting along with symptoms of menopause for the past 5 years. Reports occasional chest pain. No recent check ups or ultrasounds. Reports no prior conditons." The voices of the EMTs were dizzying to Schroeder. Nothing they said sounded any specific alarm bells but it also was so little to go off of and only left him with more questions.

They were brought to an initial curtained room in the ER and doctors poured in to begin examination. Schroeder stepped back as they worked and watched with a pounding heart. His suit suddenly felt constricting and his forehead beaded with sweat, but his arms had goosebumps as if he were cold. He thought he may pass out as he watched his mom resist writhing in pain as the doctors spoke too rapidly for Schroeder to process before a nurse stepped up to speak to him.

"Let me escort you to the waiting room. Someone will come back to let you see her soon after we make sure she's stable with initial examinations and testing." She explained gently and slowly to Schroeder. He turned to leave with her without a word but kept his gaze trained on his mother as long as he could before she disappeared from his line of sight. He took his seat in the waiting area in silence and it was only a few minutes later that his father appeared in front of him. Schroeder hadn't seen him arrive or approach but when he felt the hand of his father on his shoulder, he knew instantly he was with him and the two leaned against one another in their chairs for solace.

They sat there without a word for a long time, the sounds of the waiting room and hospital as the only relief from the worries that neither could stop imagining. Schroeder occasionally checked his watch and his father every so often would get up and pace around. They sometimes asked each other if they remembered any potential clues in the past days and weeks that could help them piece together what was happening, but for the most part, neither had much of an idea.

"She seemed… I don't know. I've been thinking something seemed off and feeling uneasy but like… I thought it was in my head… I don't know." Schroeder threw his hands up before crossing them in frustration as he sunk back into his chair.

"We don't know what it is, son. It's my first instinct to blame myself too and say I should've noticed something but let's not think like that, alright?" He forced a smile despite the tears that he held back. "You know she'd want us to think positively. I want to believe nothing serious is wrong." Schroeder wanted to share in his father's optimism, but he was too riddled with panic and had been since the moment he saw the ambulance. He simply continued in silence, anxiously bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers at his side as he desperately wished he had a piano to help process his feelings. More hours passed and Schroeder was sleepily watching the sunrise on the horizon from his chair through the open blinds when a doctor finally retrieved them again.

"Hello, are you Mr. Berdahl?" The doctor called as he entered the waiting area. Both men whipped their heads in attention and immediately stood up. "You and your son may come see your wife now." They simultaneously let out a sigh of relief before rushing behind the doctor to follow him to Dena's room. He led them inside and she beamed up with a cheerful grin, now sat up in her bed looking far more comfortable.

"Hi!" She greeted them both. "They gave me some wonderful pain medicine. I'm doing swimmingly right now." She reassured them upon noticing the worry on both their faces.

"Oh thank god." Schroeder's dad said, reaching to hug his wife tightly. Schroeder allowed himself a small smile at the sight of his parents and, for just a brief moment, his body was not so tense and afraid.

"Do you know what's going on with my mother?" He turned to the doctor who still stood in the entryway. He seemed to hesitate before he closed the door gently behind him and cautiously approached the foot of the bed to face the three who fell silent to listen.

"Mrs. Berdahl consented to sharing results as a family. I wish I had better news to share with you all this morning." He spoke softly and the faces in front of him turned frightful. "As you know, Mrs. Berdahl, we ran a number of tests including performing an ultrasound and X-ray. We also drew some blood and got your blood cell counts and sent samples to the lab for testing…" He paused for a moment. "There is no easy way to say this unfortunately. You are experiencing end stage cancer." His voice trailed off.

"Cancer?" Schroeder exclaimed in complete disbelief, feeling like he couldn't have possibly heard the words correctly.

"Like I mentioned, we already drew blood which will confirm what form of cancer but, Mrs. Berdahl, we were able to see it throughout your lungs and pelvis which indicates it has spread throughout the body from its point of origin which is what makes it end stage. When we have the results on the specific diagnosis in about a week, we will have a clearer picture about what treatment plans look like but—"

"So then it is treatable, Doctor?" Dena interrupted him finally, her voice breaking and her lip quivering. It was the only question that she could focus on. He took a deep sorrowful sigh but remained professional in his demeanor and maintained eye contact.

"The reality is… treatment at this stage will hopefully buy you a few more months, maybe a few years in a perfect scenario."

"A few years?…" She covered her mouth with her hand in complete shock.

"Honestly.. no. Well, very unlikely…" He admitted with guilt haunting his features. "—and only with the harshest treatments consistently and beginning as soon as possible… Mrs. Berdahl, I recommend you plan to make some wonderful memories with your family in the coming months and treat every day as a gift."

"No." Schroeder cried, tears streaming down his face as he shook his head in denial. "No, no, no, no, no, no." He collapsed onto his mother's lap and his sobs came uncontrollably now.

"I will give you all some time as a family and return to answer any questions you all have shortly." The doctor finished quietly as he stepped away but none of them heard his words as the world around their precious small family collapsed. Dena stared down to her heartbroken and horrified son completely frozen as tears silently streamed down her cheeks. Schroeder's father sank to his knees as his legs gave out beneath him and he buried his face in his hands.

The next several hours passed in a near total blur for each of them as they were overwhelmed with information and referrals and preparations for discharge that afternoon. His mother was stable and generally healthy enough for the time being that she was cleared to go home and prescribed medication to manage pain along with lots of rest until her results returned with a formal diagnosis to proceed with further. Everything in that hospital that morning, all the doctors and nurses, the lights and sounds, the charts and packets of papers of all sorts, it all felt entirely surreal, like they were still trapped within their collective worst nightmare. No matter how calmly and compassionately anyone spoke to them, there was no easing their suffering. But this was no nightmare, it was their unbelievable yet inescapable reality now that Dena would die before any of them could ever hope to prepare themselves.

Schroeder could barely recall the departure from the hospital into the harsh light of a sunny day nor the silent ride home with his parents. At least the bright fluorescent lights he'd endured throughout the night were cold and unnerving, a reflection of how he felt within. He could not appreciate the beauty of the sky and day as it only reminded him that he was indeed awake and life would not be slowing down for him to process what was happening. None of them had yet found any more words to say and remained in their state of shock all the way home. Both Schroeder and his dad helped Dena inside, her body sore from the aches, collapse, and drowsiness brought on by a traumatic night and the muscle relaxers she'd been given. They didn't need to speak a word to each other to know they all planned on heading straight to bed despite it being late afternoon as they had not slept a wink between them.

The phone rang as they all sauntered to bed and they paid it no mind. But when the caller tried again after they didn't answer the first time, Dena requested her son answer the phone before he head to sleep just to make sure it was nothing urgent or from the hospital.

"Hello?" Schroeder spoke softly into the phone, his eyes closed as he leaned against the wall to keep his exhausted body upright.

"Ohhh, Schroederrrrrr!" Lucy's voice sang through the phone. "Are you going to be here soon?" Lucy. He was suddenly punched in the gut by the memories of homecoming and the realization that it had all been less than a day ago despite it feeling like years.

"Be where?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose as his head began to hurt. His mind was so overloaded that he couldn't function and he wished he could simply turn it off more than anything.

"Charlie Brown's house, of course. You didn't forget did you? We're all here watching the game, snacking, having a good time." She reminded him happily. He couldn't take her cheeriness right now and could barely process what she was saying.

"I'm not coming." He thought he heard Lucy scoff and he smacked his forehead at his unnecessary coldness.

"Why?!"

"Nothing. Everything's fine. I'm just staying home." He didn't feel like explaining anything for now, all he could think about was how much he needed to get to bed.

"Are you feeling alright, Schroeder?" She finally asked with clear concern in her voice.

"Yes. I gotta go." He answered, tears beginning to well up in his eyes again though he was unsure what had specifically triggered it to start again this time.

"Oh.. alright. Well I'll see you tomorrow morning then?" Lucy questioned.

"No, I can't. Take the bus tomorrow." He said and put the phone back up to the wall before she had the chance to hear his cry escape.

"Schroeder—"

Schroeder didn't awake until almost noon the following day when his mother knocked on his door to check on him. He let her in as he woke up wholly groggy, his body feeling so much heavier than it ever had and his eyes still puffy from crying the night before and in his sleep. She opened the door, carrying in her hands a tray with a simple meal, a gesture which instantly made the boy's sobs start again. He hated himself for crying at his mother caring for him while she was the one who was sick, but he could not help the way his heart ached at the thought of losing his mum and her love. And she was not mad and understood completely. She sat his tray down on his nightstand and sat beside him on the bed with her arms open for a hug. He cried into her shoulder and clung to his mother in a way he hadn't since he was a small child and she comfortingly rubbed his head and back and squeezed him with the strength of all the love within her.

"Schroeder." She whispered her son's name after a long while as his crying finally subsided and he pulled his reddened face back to listen. "You need to eat, my son." She gave him a sad smile and he nodded in acceptance. He ate his meal at a snail's pace, having little energy to care about a single bite, none of the taste registering on his tongue. His food wasn't bland, everything just felt so grey.

By the time he had finished his food, the sun had nearly completely set and he decided to try to play piano in hopes that it would… he wasn't sure… just do something to soothe the pounding in his head. His parents had retired back to bed themselves long before the sun had set after they too had stayed home for the day and planned to do so for the entire week at least. No one was ready to return to their daily routine yet.

Schroeder stared at the keys of his piano for a long time. He felt daunted by the enormity of the instrument in a way he hadn't since he was too young to sit comfortably at a grand piano. He hovered his hands over the keys a few times but couldn't bring his fingers to play. There would be no joy to be found nor any escape into a distant world with music so long as he was drowning in his dark sorrow. He rubbed his temples in frustration as he prepared to give up for the night at the moment the phone rang. Schroeder suspected he had an idea of who it was and didn't look forward to answering but knew he must if he didn't want her to turn up in the morning. He couldn't bear the thought of facing anyone right now and especially not having them over at such a time.

"Hello, again." Lucy greeted him.

"Hi." Schroeder stared off at the floor. She still sounded so delighted to speak to him but he could not bring himself to return her enthusiasm.

"Soooo… I'll be seeing you in the morning right?" The hope in her voice brought a pang of guilt to his chest.

"Lucy, I'm still not feeling well—" He began, trying to think of a proper excuse because he was simply not ready to share his struggles with anyone, knowing full well he didn't have the strength to maintain his composure.

"Really? What's not feeling well? Are you sick?" She fired off her questions.

"Lucy, must you always stick your nose in everything?!" He snapped at her. "Everything's fine! I'll call you when I can take you to school again!" He slammed the phone back into place with all his force before she even had a chance to digest his words. He let out an exacerbated sigh and leaned his forehead against the wall, banging it a few times. He knew she had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve his ire, but his misery had him believing he may never even wish to leave his house again as his instinct to isolate himself and hide was overtaking his being.

Schroeder spent much of the rest of the week in a disassociated daze of crying, sleeping, and smoking lazily rolled and overpacked joints to calm his crying when it became too much and to stimulate his appetite which he found completely lacking. He didn't make it to his sessions with Dr. Guaraldi nor his Sunday gig at DeGidio's and didn't bother to call either ahead of time for notice. He struggled to bring himself to shower and generally take care of himself and his parents, who themselves were grieving, couldn't convince him to spend extensive time out of his room despite time with him being all they currently sought. He stopped coming out to attempt to play his piano either after a few days when he lost the motivation to try and he had to turn away the face of his Beethoven bust on his nightstand as it brought him too much shame to be under his watchful gaze at his lowest point. That Sunday afternoon, he awoke and carried on with his routine, having gotten up simply to use the bathroom when the phone rang. His parents sat outside sharing cigarettes and so he opted to answer for them.

"Hi Schroeder… it's kind of funny you keep calling me like this…" He heard Lucy's voice as she spoke in a playful tone but also with a bit of nervousness she was clearly trying to mask.

"I didn't call you, you called me, Lucy. I got to go."

"Schroeder, wait!" She pleaded, knowing full well he could hang up on her at any moment. "What's wrong?? You have me so worried. Please talk to me! Or I'll come over there myself!" Schroeder didn't doubt the severity of her concern, but, rather naively in hindsight, truly did not expect her to follow through on her threat.

"You better not! Everything's fine! I just need space." He hung up once again, putting an end to the interaction for what he'd expected to be awhile before returning himself to bed and faceplanting with a thud onto his mattress. Curled up with a pillow in his arms for comfort, he shut his eyes and sought after the security of sleep before he had the chance to cry again. He'd almost begun to drift off a short while later when he suddenly heard what sounded like a strange rustling coming from outside his room.

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Chapter 7 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note. Highly recommend not skipping the first bullet point this time though as I said in the intro):

- GAWD. I can finally fucking tell yall this. Ok so in last chapter’s deep dive I mentioned that there was a clue as to what was going to happen that super hardcore Peanuts fans might be able to spot. The hint was ‘Dena’, her name. Charles M. Schulz’s mother’s name was Dena. And she passed from cancer when he was 20 years old. Schulz would go on to say this and the fact that his mother never got to see his work published was the greatest tragedy of his life. So basically, this and other aspects of Schulz’ life story are what originally inspired this fic and are major plot points. I have just been dying to share this information because I’ve been holding on to it since day 1 lol. So yea, this fic is an interwoven amalgamation of Peanuts stories in one way or another whether it be stories from the strip, any of the dozens of tv specials and movies, the life of Schulz, and lore from various other Peanuts media. I hope this helps make what is happening to Dena feel I guess more understandable rather than kinda a cliche or like something outta left field with no purpose. Because this has been the plan since the beginning lol. By the way, now that you know this, you should know that looking deeper into the life of Schulz may spoil things for you but not entirely. I’m not pulling every aspect of his life of course, not even a majority or anything, just a few key events and putting my own spin on them. For example, Schulz’s mother had been sick and bedridden for years before her death whereas obviously Schroeder's mom Dena in this fic seemed to be in good health until this point.

- Ok now onto everything else in chronological order although I will say I'm leaving a lot out of this deep dive and saving it for part 2 because these parts were originally all 1 chapter and as a result I wrote this all together and so many details and decisions from either part are connected to the other. So yea anyway leaving a lot for next part's deep dive. Oh but yea originally both these parts were supposed to be one chapter but then it became over 25000 words so I couldn't do that all as one haha.

- So Lucy’s outfit and makeup in the very beginning had so much unnecessary research and inspiration. Lucy’s wardrobe and makeup is really becoming a character of its own haha. The theme here is like summer southern italy with a 50s style summer halter dress with a pattern of amalfi coast lemons and her eyeliner being based on a kinda niche popular style from the time commonly worn by a lot of Italian models. I believe my original source of inspo was yet another Erin Parsons vid, this specifically.

- Ok the radiooooo wooooooo!!! I have given the radio (both kinda already but also still to come) such a prominent presence throughout this fic. That was deliberate as the radio was prominently featured in early Peanuts as it was still the primary household entertainment in the 50s though that was the decade it began to be heavily replaced by the television, radios were still very regularly used for awhile after and obviously still are today just way less and it’s no longer people’s primary method of listening to music or hearing the news. But yea I wanted it to feel like the radio was a significant force for itself i guess if that makes any sense.

- Anyway let’s talk about the actual broadcast cuz there is so much going on holy fuck. So yes every detail is entirely accurate and yes this is a broadcast you could’ve expected to hear on this exact date in history. I couldn’t find any radio broadcast archives from this exact time but I did read a lot of news articles published this exact day and the days surrounding it and obviously had to pick and choose which stories from the time were relevant to what’s going on in the fic and also that sounded believably all connected for this broadcaster to jump between stories in a way that seemed natural. So that was a long and hard challenge just deciding what news to have here and then making sure it flowed naturally, was in the tone of a broadcaster, had entirely accurate details, and also didn’t over or under explain anything. Balancing all these things: fucking nightmare hahaha. Not to mention, I knew from the get go that this would be a broadcast happening on page between other dialogue about something totally different so I had to figure out where the breaks should go and make sure it was jarring as intended but also not as unintended if that makes sense. Because the point of this scene is in a way to be jarring. To juxtapose the mundaneness of a sunday family brunch with the ongoing horrors of war (a bit too timely if you ask me as was also researching for all the history related to these chapters and beyond). It was supposed to feel like as the reader you wanna scream at them to listen to what’s happening because it’s obviously far more intense and insane than whatever bickering they got going on and Rerun trolling them haha. And I did this to set the tone for the whole two parts. 

- OMG Peppermint Patty and Marcieeeeeee. I don’t know if I should talk about them now or wait till after part 2. Hmmm. I think I can talk about everything here. So canonically in the strips and mentioned in some specials, Peppermint Patty’s dad is seems to be neglectful. There are many references to her father routinely being out of town and or working nights and just leaving her alone to fend for herself and there's another occaision where he wants to send her off to private school and then she on top of that also doesn't have a mom which you can read all the canon details about that here. It’s quite sad obviously. And then Marcie is shy and easily flustered and embarrassed and definitely the responsible one between them. And so I really took these aspects of them and dialed them up to 11 and ran with where it took me. And I’m so excited about it and I think yall will be too. But omg i love their argument in the kitchen. Im proud of the deep characterization in that scene because i really came into this fic with not many plans made for subplots and holy shit theyre all just coming alive so much now and i think that’s really evident in these two parts.

- I’m definitely putting this again in the deep dive for part 2 but Violet is hosting the halloween party 1 because I kinda had that idea organically and then 2 i rewatched the great pumpkin probably 20 thousand times for research (if you haven't gathered already, Halloween will be happening in the next part) and the first time i rewatched for research I realized omg Violet does actually host the party in the special too. So it could not have worked out better for what I had planned.

- I wanted to put this as a reference in text soooooo bad but held myself back. Lucy is famousssss for talking to bugs on the sidewalk lol. Love her for that, that’s adorable.

- THE THEATRE! Ok so Aaron. What do yall think of his name? Cuz i dont fucking know. It was originally a placeholder name and then I kinda just forgot to revisit. But anyway. Ive been WAITING to write this monologue scene sooo long omg. It was originally gonna be even more dramatic and Lucy was going to make Aaron like dip her as she fake fainted or something lol. But I realized I wanted a real monologue that fit with Lucy’s character and that was romantic so unfortunately the dip idea was scrapped lol just because there’s no way to really search for monologues that include that in the acting nor to sort through monologue’s that seem like they could be acted like that. And I already spent hours and hours reading through different monologues that had all the requirements I wanted and I’m not looking through for many hours longer for something better hahaha. This is good enough ahhh. But yea, Trolius and Cressida. Cressida basically in this scene is declaring her love, she’s embarrassed by how open she’s being about it. She’s saying she made herself silent before because it’s not considered proper for women to make the first move. All very much emotions Lucy could prob harness quite well in a performance I think. But her acting in general. Actually lemme make a new bullet for this

- Ok so Lucy’s acting and I guess I’m just gonna ramble about her character a bit idk. I just have connected more of the dots for her better because her character has been much more of an enigma to me than Schroeder. Like I couldn’t really articulate where my desire to put her in theatre was coming from but it’s definitely clearer to me now. I think Lucy is a very curious, imaginative person who is fascinated by the world around her and by people and their stories and psyches. This allows her to immerse herself into stories and people’s emotions and has an innate desire to deeply absorb and understand both. This is her recipe for her pull to acting and theatre in general. I think she also thrives with that immersion and more hands on learning. Anyway. I hope this all feels not just thought out but like it fits all in place if that makes sense. 

- The names “Helen, Nancy, and Susie” actually have no real significance for once lol except that they are all old lady names I associate with this time haha

- Ok yea ok so dress code protests and the san fran ‘69 braless protest. All real things that happened. I mean I can’t say for sure there was a dress code protest in St. Paul in October 1969. And if you wondered that, valid because I have gotten that specific with the details so many other times now lol. But yea these protests especially with trousers and wearing bras were huge points of contention at the time and part of the broader movement for women’s liberation. Which oh my god, did you know our girl Lucy is a women’s lib icon? Hell yea. Btw that strip is from the storyline I referenced back in chapter 3 lol but it's not the only instance of feminist lucy lol

- Lucy is so fucking goated yall dont understand. I will never stfu about this character omfg but ugh ok I gotta calm down and stop myself right now and wait until part 2’s deep dive to well dive deeper into her character. One of the most layered characters in fiction dare I say? Dare I shall. 

- Doloressssssss. Our girl is finally back after 3 chapters woohoo. Imma wait to talk a ton about her till next part's though.

- Ok im not gonna go much deeper right now into everything related to Dena and her cancer. But just know, omg, as with everything, the amount of research I put into this was so over the top lol

Chapter Text

(A//n: stick around for author's note at end for future update plans if you wanna know, enjoy! love yall)

Schroeder gasps as he awakes to the sight of Lucy entering through his bedroom window as she had plenty of times throughout their adolescence, not out of secrecy from his parents, but out of her unapologetic desire to seek out his presence so often.

"Lucy, I told you not to come!" He rises out of bed as she hops to the floor, brushing herself off and regaining balance. "You need to go!" He shouts in aggravation with his finger pointed back out the way she came.

"Not until you tell me what's going on with you!" Lucy demands and takes a step towards him as she takes in the state of his room which was definitely messier than she'd ever seen previously.

"It's none of your business, now it's time to go!" Schroeder hisses while looking to the floor to avoid her gaze and Lucy pauses as she observes his appearance. He didn't look or sound particularly sick, but it did seem like he had spent the entire week at home as she had suspected. His hair was unkempt, his clothes which were simply pajamas were visibly worn out, and his eyes were excessively bloodshot with the bags underneath worryingly puffy. Lucy felt a pang in her chest for all she saw from him was deep pain.

"Schroeder… have you been crying?" He reflexively buries his face in his hands to hide as he stands silently for a minute. He could feel the tears beginning to sting again and the lump building in his throat and he was starting to feel hopeless he'd be able to fight it.

"Lucy… please." His voice cracks as his lip begins to quiver. He drops his hands covering his face but shakes his head, continuing to look to the floor.

"Schroeder.. Oh my God. What is wrong?" Lucy mutters at a loss for words and takes another step closer as she reaches out to touch his arm.

"I.. my mum." He chokes out. He crumbled and the battle was lost. "My mum.. is dying," he barely gets the words out through an uncontrolled sob as his knees buckle beneath him. Lucy gasps as he falls into her arms.

"Schroeder?! What-what are you talking about?" She struggles to hold him up, his body dead weight as he cries. He doesn't respond, he just continues to wail and Lucy lets herself fall back to sit on the bed with him. "Schroeder, look at me." She lifts his chin to face her, tears streaming down his cheeks. "Oh.. Schroeder. What happened?" She tenderly wipes his cheek with her thumb.

"When I got back home after homecoming, there was an ambulance here… She was sick and…" He begins to sob again. "She has cancer and she doesn't have a lot of time.. just a few months, a year maybe."

"Oh my god."

"Oh… Lucy.. I don't want my mom to die." Lucy rocks him in her arms. "I'm so scared."

"I'm so sorry, Schroeder. That's unimaginable. You don't need to suffer with this alone."

"She's never going to see me truly grow up or everything I'll accomplish and everywhere I'll go. She won't be there when I fail or when everything hurts—" his words fall apart for a moment as the stabbing in his heart persists. "She won't see what kind of pianist I'll become or see me create great symphonies. Oh, I wanted her to see it all, Lucy."

"Schroeder... She will! She's going to see it all, she will be there right by your side always. You know she's even more stubborn than I am! Don't you doubt her abilities even in death to show up for you forever, Schroeder." His cries slow as he listens and she runs her fingers through his hair comfortingly. Schroeder closes his eyes and rests his face on her neck, allowing himself to be cradled so. "She's going to see it all, Schroeder. I know it." He cries again. "I know, I know. This isn't fair at all. It's okay to let yourself feel it. I'm not going anywhere."

Lucy embraces him tighter and Schroeder returns her strength, sinking into the affection as they fall onto their backs to lay down. For a long time, they laid together like this, Schroeder cried beside her as she cradled his face and rubbed his back. Seeing him so broken was incredibly jarring to Lucy and in spite of her best efforts, led her to join in his weeping. They became exhausted from the tears they shared and after an eternity, their bodies found rest and they drifted off to sleep.

Lucy was first to awake some hours later, her eyes fluttering open to find a still napping Schroeder clinging to her. She didn't mean to disturb his slumber, but her stirring quickly wakes him as well. He lifts his head a tad, still in a daze and his eyes land on her through a squint, but they shoot open as he becomes aware of their closeness and pushes himself up with his hand to lift off her. Lucy pulls away a little in response, rising to lean back on her elbows, but still, his face hovers mere inches from hers and the pair remain silent, neither knowing what they wanted to say. Lucy had simply wanted to support him, she wasn't looking to flirt or tease him in his vulnerable state or anything of the sort. But God, did he make her heart race with the way his eyes fall to her lips and their breaths become heavy as they study each other closely, waiting to see who was going to move first.

Schroeder finally composes himself, clearing his throat and pulling away to sit up. "I'm sorry about… all of that…" He says barely above a whisper, looking away from her.

"It's all alright…" She reassures him, sitting herself up beside him.

"I.. I can take you home." He suggests awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, Schroeder." She stands. "I can walk back like I came. You just go back to resting, alright?" She stands in front of him, looking down into his eyes.

"Okay…" He watches her carefully. "Lucy."

"Yes?"

"Thank you." He utters graciously. Lucy answers silently, leaning down to place a light kiss atop his head before she turns to leave through the window but then, Schroeder stops her once more.

"Lucy."

"Yes, Schroeder?" She turns around to see him.

"I'll take you to school tomorrow, alright?" Lucy smiles softly and blows him a flirtatious kiss before finally departing. He sits alone in the silence for a few minutes to breathe and reflect. His tears were no more though and some of the suffocating weight had thankfully subsided. Schroeder decides to take a break from resting and step out of his room to go get a drink of water. When he opens the door however, he is startled to find his mother about to knock.

"Hi, mum."

"Hey.." She seemed unsure of her next words and it hit him that she'd heard Lucy in his room. "What are you doing?…" She looks behind him with not-so-subtle suspicion.

"She's not here, mum." He answers with a sigh and roll of his eyes.

"That's a shame. I would've loved to say hello." She teases with a smirk. "I presume she was concerned?"

"… Yeah." He shrugs, admitting with a bit of embarrassment.

"That was kind of her…" Dena hesitates, biting her lip. "I really would like to have her over though. Invite her for dinner tomorrow. I'll cook." She announces with her signature warm smile.

"Wait, what? You really want guests now?.. I— I didn't think we were doing that for a while."

"No time like the present." She winks with a sad smile which Schroeder returns before his face falls again and his mother pulls him in for a loving hug. "Besides, we can't keep this up. We can't just spend every day in darkness." Schroeder knew she was right, there was nothing else to do and his mind finally began to find acceptance in the new reality rather than hiding him from it.

He showered and ate the pizza his mum ordered them for the third night in a row as she muttered apologies and promised to go to the supermarket the following day to make a proper dinner for them and Lucy, but neither her husband nor son minded in the slightest. A lot less seemed to matter one bit now as they'd been confronted with how they took their time together as a family for granted. Schroeder also cleaned up his room a small bit just to have accomplished something and even allowed himself to turn back around the face of his Beethoven bust though he would put off returning to the seat of the piano a bit longer.

Schroeder grumbled the following morning. Having slept through multiple of his alarms, he was only finally awoken by the sound of Lucy pounding on the front door and calling out to him. He ran as he rubbed his sleepy eyes and tried to orient himself as he opened the door.

"Wow, you overslept." She points out the obvious.

"Why didn't they get the door, huh?" Schroeder looks around confused, ignoring her comment as he lets her in. He walks to the kitchen and sees a note left on the fridge.

We went out for groceries, coffee is already made

— Love, mum

"Uhhh let me go hurry and get ready quick, sorry." Schroeder runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head to further wake himself up.

"Schroeder." Lucy says his name with a serious but kind expression to grab his attention in his frazzled state. "Take your time. You don't need to rush." She assures him kindly.

"Thanks.." He replies and lets out a sigh of relief before heading back to his room to get ready.

It wasn't long before they were off to school and Lucy was clearly working hard to be as pleasant and positive as she could which Schroeder found endearing but also amusing. He engaged a bit in conversation but couldn't bring himself to maintain full attention to her stories from the past week at school and theatre and Lucy didn't want to push him out of his quietness today. His mind was, unsurprisingly, still occupied with accepting the chilling new tragedy in his life as well as how it complicated everything he'd been working towards.

Returning to school was a reminder of his need to prepare for the university auditions he'd have in only a matter of months and that he urgently needed to return to practicing and working on composition with Dr. Guaraldi whom he still hadn't spoken. Thankfully, he would see her this evening and have the opportunity to apologize. Lucy was keenly aware of all the stresses haunting his conscience and continued to worry about his mental state though she tried to keep her focus on being the proper supportive friend he needed. After school, the car ride was largely the same.

"So I'm going to drop you off at home to get ready and I'm heading to practice and I'll pick you up after and take you over with me." Schroeder recounts his plan aloud half to Lucy and half to himself as a reminder.

"Huh?" Lucy scrunches her nose perplexed. "Bring me where?"

"Oh, shit. Yeah I didn't tell you, my mum wants to have you over for dinner.. uhh if you feel like it?" He seemed unsure as he realized the awkwardness of the invitation. Lucy and Schroeder had eaten countless meals over the years at one another's homes but what kind of dinner was this supposed to be at a time like this? They both wondered.

"Oh yea, always." Lucy agrees after a moment and gives a polite smile even though internally she felt queasiness start to build. It wasn't lost on her that if there was ever pressure to be on her best behavior and make herself the best guest, it was now.

Schroeder drops Lucy off and arrives for his session a short time later with his own churning stomach as he prepares to face the mentor he'd no doubt disappointed from his unexcused absence.

"Didn't think you'd show, Mr. Berdahl." She greets from her desk before he'd even fully stepped in the room. "I know you are aware this is inexcusable for a student of your caliber."

"Yes, Dr. Guaraldi. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have been here." He takes his seat in shame at the piano and anxiously pulls out the sheets of music and notes he'd clumsily collected in his bag this morning. While she put on a facade of intimidation, she wasn't truly angry. She strongly suspected he had something significant happen with how out of character this was.

"Schroeder. You are under no obligation to tell me what happened. You wouldn't have missed without a call unless it was severe. Just don't let it happen again, alright?" She rolls in her chair to be beside him and gives his shoulder an amicable squeeze. Schroeder's shoulders sag as he lets out a deep sigh.

"My mother… she's dying." He closes his eyes as he says it. "A lot happened this week but she got her formal results yesterday. End stage cervical cancer. The spread is too extensive. She will die within the year without treatment. Not sure about with." He forces his eyes open and sits up straight again as he returns to proper posture. Dr. Guaraldi allowed the silence to linger for a long while, having a deep appreciation for the power of stillness in moments of acceptance of such difficult realities.

"Have you continued work at all with your composition anymore since we last met?" She asks him gently after the extended quiet.

"No." Schroeder answers, still with a bit of shame though less than before. But, in truth, Dr. Guaraldi was not concerned with her prodigy's break. She actually hoped this may present him with an opportunity to better tap into his feelings, to listen to the song of his heart.

"Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes." He nods with fervor.

"Okay." Her lips curl into a smile and she gets them straight to work. The entire session, Dr. Guaraldi guided him through the intense emotions he was experiencing and, slowly but surely, Schroeder finally felt the life, the inner peace, and the relief that piano brought him return like a childhood home welcoming him back with a warm embrace. She wanted him to learn how by using his struggles and the warring voices within, he would not only come to better understand himself, but also hone his tone and compositional storytelling.

After the much needed session, Schroeder returned to Lucy's house to pick her up and drove them to his home. Lucy and himself entered and the boy immediately recognized the smell of his mother's cooking.

"Welcome, Lucy!" Dena exclaims as she steps out of the kitchen.

"Hello, Mrs. Berdahl. I was delighted by the invitation as always." She dips into a perfectly refined formal curtsy.

"Oh stop it with the pleasantries, Lucy. You know you're always welcome. And why don't you finally call me Dena, sweetie?" She pulls Lucy in for a tighter hug than she had expected. In fact, it had been Dena who had always made her maintain such a formal greeting as a young girl to mind her manners and so she hadn't expected anything different, let alone more, than her usual quick side squeeze.

"I brought cookies from my mother. She sends her kisses, she says."

"How splendid. Lucy, would you like to come help me in the kitchen?"

"Of course, I would love to." Schroeder excuses himself to the restroom where he freshens up his cologne and combs his hair. He realized he hadn't put such thought into his appearance, even if it was hardly anything to note, since… well, everything.

Together Lucy and Dena chop and throw together ingredients for a salad as a starter for the bunch while Dena continues to monitor the stew and potatoes she had on the stove. All the while, Lucy paid close attention to every bit of wisdom she shared and held dear every kind smile, laugh, and compliment she received. She felt beyond honored that Schroeder's mom was being so wonderful and choosing to spend time with her amidst what she was going through. She wasn't sure what she had done to deserve such a gesture and cherished every moment as meaningful.

"Thank you for all your help, Lucy." Dena smiles warmly and picks up her glass of wine for a sip.

"It's never trouble with you!"

"You know, honey. I'm so grateful my son has had someone like you to grow up with." Lucy sensed that she was about to say more but, at that moment, Schroeder and his father enter to help as well. Soon thereafter, they gather around the table, Schroeder assisting his mother in plating each of the dishes and pouring everyone a drink. Lucy, unsurprisingly took her seat beside Schroeder, which, while he would of course never admit such a thing, he greatly appreciated tonight as his heart pounded with anxiety. He couldn't put his finger on exactly why, but he simply felt constant unease for the time being and questioned his mother's motives for the dinner.

They started with standard polite chit-chat about weather and school and recalling some of their time at homecoming, all around avoiding the topic of the new distressing situation. It wasn't long though before Dena took a gulp of water, cleared her throat, and sat the glass back down in preparation to speak to the table.

"So. Part of the reason I wanted to throw a nice dinner tonight is because I wanted to make some announcements…" She begins as she picks at her nails under the table, feeling incredibly stressed. "Firstly… I will not be returning to work. I have already notified the office."

"That's wonderful, mum." Schroeder responds without hesitation. But that had not been the portion she was so reluctant to reveal.

"I mean even though I just went in on some mornings and had the rest at home, I don't want to spend any of my time working anymore. I want to savor every day." She says quietly and she purses her lips. She thought carefully about her next words. "I want to make the most out of my time and remember how precious this all is. I want to take chances, spend time with those I love, take some trips, and try new experiences while I still can. It's so cliché, I know. But …. it just puts everything into perspective…" She chuckles as a tear unwittingly falls. "Which brings me to my second announcement…" She pauses for another minute as she fights tooth and nail for the courage to make the admission. She was grateful that everyone sat in silence with the utmost patience, though it also only made her more afraid to hurt them. "I won't be pursuing treatment."

"What?" Schroeder drops his fork to his plate.

"Now that I know the details of my diagnosis and options, I've realized that going through treatment is only going to leave me too unhealthy to live my life happily. And it's not going to get better. I want to be able to make the most out of every day I have with you, my dear sweet son. It won't matter if I stretch out the time I have if I'm too incapacitated to do anything with it." The table is silent for a long and heavy moment as they process the news and her reasoning. Lucy glances at Schroeder whose eyes were clearly welling with tears before he blinks them away.

"It's your body and it's your life mother. I support your decision." He clears his throat and lazily plays with a piece of food with his fork as a distraction. Lucy could feel the incredible tension from beside him and gently leaned her leg against his underneath the table in consolation, a gesture he returned. As no words were exchanged for the next several minutes, the sounds of jazz filled the void, playing distantly from the radio Dena had turned on in the living room for dinner. The awkwardness lingered through the small talk that followed the duration of their meal, but eventually dissipated the more Dena prompted further conversation and infected the atmosphere with her determined positivity.

After dinner, Dena politely requests Lucy join her in the kitchen to help with dishes as Schroeder and his father sit out on the porch for cigarettes. They clean their dishes in quiet for awhile but, ultimately, they couldn't keep it up for long as they both were doing their best to suppress further tears. Once they finished, Dena pours them each another glass of wine but instead of taking a drink, she sits hers back down on the counter and looks to the floor as she nervously attempts to open her mouth to speak.

"Dena, what is it?" Lucy asks with concern. She had no idea what it was that she wanted to say to her but knowing how difficult it was for her to say was enough to have Lucy shuddering with apprehension.

"I just…" She broke down and tears started to stream freely as she whispered. "I need you to promise me something." Lucy stepped closer and took her hand in hers. "Please, I need you to be there for him.. To-to push him to remember what matters in life outside of just piano. To help him find happiness. He can be so single focused sometimes… he can forget to appreciate all the love and joy around him and see how it only enriches him. I sometimes worry he'll look back and feel he passed up so much time with those he loves… Don't give up on him…" She ends in a whispered plea. ‘Don’t give up on him.’ The choice of words was… deliberate, and definitely noticed by Lucy who felt goosebumps down her spine accompanied by a wave of crushing pressure.

"Of course." She eagerly nods as her own tears start to flow and the two women wrap one another in a tight hug.

By the time Friday arrived, Lucy and Schroeder were finally beginning to find their normal routine again and, as per usual, Lucy knocks on his door that morning with perfect punctuality. Lucy knew she was potentially in for a somewhat surprised reaction from Schroeder, even if she had mentioned the day in passing. And if not from him then definitely his mother, she thought since she knew Dena normally held more traditional views as a result of her age of upbringing. Schroeder opens the door and is immediately stopped in his tracks by the sight of the woman in front of him. Lucy was wearing a fitted and cropped red sweater while visibly braless along with a red and black plaid mini skirt that was far from even reaching the tips of her fingers at her sides. She wore a red pair of stockings she'd been saving for a unique outfit and high black heels that made her dread the state of her feet by the end of the day.

"For Christ's sake, Lucy, what the fuck are you wearing?" His eyes roam her appearance before he can stop himself as his jaw hangs open in shock.

"You don't remember I told you the other day in the car?"

"What?!"

"The girls of the senior class are protesting the school's misogynistic dress code and all the excessive punishments they've been handing out."

"I guess I don't."

"So don't worry, I'm not doing this to put on a show for you." She rolls her eyes at feeling the need to clarify. "But, I better not catch you staring at anyone besides me though!" She adds with an entirely serious warning.

"Lucy. We. Are. Not. Together!" He dramatically enunciates each word louder than the last. "Lucy.. you-you can't wear that!" He shakes his head in disapproval.

"Umm.. I can actually. That's kind of the whole point of the matter! I thought you were far more progressive than this, Schroeder." Lucy crosses her arms offended.

"No, I am! It's not that. It's just… I mean… " Schroeder groans as he tries to find the right words. "Even though you usually dress rather.. I guess 'classy', I knew you were a more modern woman at heart. But bloody hell, Lucy. Maybe warn me more next time at the very least…" Schroeder's cheeks were burning and he was sure they showed it too as his gaze continued to linger. "I mean.. that skirt is so short I can even see the tops of your stockings." He clears his throat and scratches his head as he fails repeatedly to pull his eyes away.

"Augh, you all are the same! This right here is the issue! It's not my job to ‘make sure my body isn't a distraction from the learning environment’.”

"No, of course not. But are you really going to stand here and tell me with a straight face you don't at least sometimes dress with the intent to catch my attention and distract me?"

"And it works doesn’t it? … But, no, not this time… Though I really didn't necessarily anticipate you to be so.. profoundly affected. Maybe I should have worn my fully sheer blouse."

"Lucy!" He snaps.

"Oh c'mon and just let me in already! I want my tea." Lucy pushes her way in and Schroeder closely watches her every movement as she walks past him.

"Dear heavens, Lucy, what are you wearing?" Dena asks, taken aback by her from her spot on the recliner where she rested as was becoming part of her new morning routine.

"Oh, Mrs— I mean, Dena!" If there was anyone whose opinion she perhaps valued on her outfit on this day it was the dying mother of her love. She did not want her lasting impression to be one of disapproval nor to cause her more stress than necessary. "I'm participating in the protest against the dress code at school today. Did you hear? They have been giving girls detention for wearing trousers!"

"I think your outfit is lovely and it's wonderful that you're participating in that. I hope all of your demands are met!” She beams with genuine adoration.

"Mum! Seriously?" Schroeder rolls his eyes, eliciting a glare from Lucy.

"Oh hush it, Schroeder. She can dress as she wants. Lucy, dear. You look gorgeous." Lucy twirls with a squeal and Schroeder smacks his head.

"Awww, thank you ma'am! I've got nothing on you though." She blows her a kiss.

“Augh, don’t flatter me Lucy. That miniskirt is adorable! How did you convince your mother to let you leave in that?” She giggles.

“Uhhh… I may have brought scissors along with me on my walk over.” Lucy chuckles nervously.

“No, no we can’t have that. We’ll go to the mall and get some real ones together this weekend, how does that sound?”

“Mrs. Berdahl?! Wearing a mini skirt?! Hell yeah!”

“I’ve spent too much of my life being too uptight. Well, I’m not wasting another moment censoring myself. Screw what anyone thinks!” She proclaims, holding her chin high. “You know, Lucy, why don't you even wear a miniskirt to my funeral? That’ll surely scandalize everyone!” She erupts into a fit of laughter at her own daring and unarguably absurd idea.

"Okay, I'm going now!" Schroeder announces, giving up on the two. Lucy follows close behind to the kitchen where Schroeder pours her tea. "What's your word of the day?"

"Patriarchy!" She declares with a bang of her fist on the counter.

"Naturally, of course." He says amused as he hands her her mug and sits down across from her, smirking at her maniacal glee. She was utterly pure and adorable despite her immodesty.

"What?" She questions his staring.

"Oh.. nothing." He pulls his gaze away. Today would indeed be challenging to keep from looking at her a noticeable amount.

Only a short while later, they headed to school and Lucy yapped to Schroeder who was doing his best to tune her out and focus on the music on the radio. She was too much of a distraction already normally and he didn't need her taking up further space in his head when he had far more pressing matters to put his attention towards. He was desperate to refocus after his spat laying around being depressed. There was no more time for that as he needed to begin readying himself for auditions which would be here before he knew it. He didn't need anything else on top of his mom's health torturing him right now. And Lucy was definitely going to torture him.

"Schroeder?" Lucy pestered for his attention pulling him back to the present.

"Huh?"

"Were you listening?"

"Sorry.. No. I was just thinking about my applications and working on plans for my auditions.

“Those aren’t for some months right? Why worry about that now?” Schroeder rolls his eyes at her ignorance.

“These will be the most important performances of my life. There is no room for error. I have technically been preparing for years, but these few months are for total refinement and absolute mastery and–”

“Okay but it’s important to take care of yourself first. And you are dealing with a lot right now..”

“That’s not an option. This is just the thing, Luc. I cannot afford to let anything impact me. And so I have to work even harder now.”

“Oooohhkaayyy.” Lucy shrugs and sinks into her seat defeated and still clearly not grasping the gravity of the situation that Schroeder was attempting to articulate. “Just remember to have a bit of fun. And to make time to pay attention to me!”

“This isn’t about fun, this is art! And it’s not about you either!” Schroeder asserts, putting an end to it.

“Augh, never fall in love with a musician.” She grumbles under her breath and turns to stare out the window.

The mood at school that day was truly nothing short of spirited as crowds of girls from what turned out to be all years marched the halls between classes, chanting in unison while proudly wearing their dress code violating attire. Detention and suspension slips were passed out until the papers ran out and teachers had to switch to notebook paper but everyone who earned one simply pinned it to their top like a badge of honor. The irony was the brutal enforcement of the dress code had only succeeded to inspire a rebellion that was far more distracting to the learning environment than anyone’s typical dress. And the students saw in the exasperated faces of the administration that they were no doubt succeeding at getting under their skin which gave them hope.

Lucy ran in the auditorium the moment her lunch began, calling out to Schroeder to proudly showcase the detention slip she’d happily earned.

"I guess, well done?" He congratulates her hesitantly, not entirely sure what response she hoped for as he kept his eyes trained on his in progress composition and his fingers danced away on the keys. Lucy hopped up onto the piano as she always did and dangled her legs over the front beside him, peering down at his music with nosy curiosity. Her closeness was too much to ignore though so Schroeder looked up to the hovering girl with a raised eyebrow, wondering what she wanted, but continued playing from memory.

"Can I help you?"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you have pretty eyes, Schroeder?" He instantly fumbles his segment and it dissolves into a jumble of incorrect notes as his face turns a bright shade of red and Lucy giggles at his reaction. “I seem to have unnerved you." *July 9th, 1959 strip reference*

"That wasn't necessary, Luc." He scolds her, warning her from proceeding further. "… So you really cut that skirt yourself while wearing it, huh?” He appraises her again, switching the subject.

“Yeah, did a good job, didn’t I?” She stretches and kicks her legs, pointing the toe of her heels to the air as she flips her hair over her shoulders like the queen she knew she was. Schroeder chuckles but refuses to satisfy her search for a compliment. He returns to his music and she continues on chattering his ear off and fishing for praise and affection, her voice, a melody he knew just as intimately as his music.

+ + +

As the month carried on, autumn finally came in full swing. The leaves transformed into gorgeous colors resembling the sunset which was occurring earlier by the day while temperatures rapidly dropped. With preparations for Halloween underway, Lucy and her brothers raked and played in the leaves from their yard and picked out pumpkins to carve as a family as they did every year. Formal invitations to Violet's party were sent and the gang and neighborhood were abuzz with excitement for the event, for trick-or-treaters, and other themed festivities throughout the week.

The Friday of Halloween, Violet dashed around all day from the moment she woke that morning to finish everything she'd planned for her guests. All the decorations, all the food and beverages, the entertainment and music, her politeness and manners; it all had to be nothing short of pure excellence. Her head was pounding by the afternoon from the stress induced by the pressure of her father to meet his strict expectations. Everything she did in life was dictated by them for she was his only daughter and he wouldn't accept any future for her other than the one he had planned long before she was born. His belief was that at all times she ought to be preparing herself to become the best housewife in order to land a quality future husband to care for her. Violet was becoming further and further disillusioned with this as she grew as did the pressure of her father to begin searching for a husband straight out of high school. He hadn't even entertained the conversation of supporting her continued education. He could barely stand her having a part time job as a secretary, the only job he would approve, but thought at least the socializing and forced smiles would do her some good.

Violet only felt more trapped by the day but couldn't bring herself to work through the internal shame she carried so to speak to even those she trusted. She couldn't tell her parents how unhappy she was as they simply wouldn't listen with how convinced that they were doing the right thing, she couldn't confess to her lifelong best friend Patty that she'd long ago fallen in love with as there was no sign her feelings were ever to be returned and Patty herself only seemed interested in the sort of life that Violet's parents expected of her, and she had too much self-loathing to even consider opening up to anyone else even if she thought they'd likely understand. And now, as the doorbell rang, she hurriedly picked up a pillow from her couch and momentarily screamed into it for relief before placing it gently back in its spot and plastering on a smile to get the door.

Lucy was the first to arrive, nice and early and beaming with excitement for the night. Patty was there shortly thereafter and, together, they completed the finishing touches and did their hair and makeup in Violet's room before everyone else arrived. Patty borrowed one of Violet's old skirted baseball uniforms for her costume. Violet hadn't worn it in years since her father had made her stop playing sports upon entering high school as it was "unladylike" but, given her tall stature, it still managed to fit a far shorter adult Patty with minor adjustments. Violet was going as Aurora from Sleeping Beauty using the stunning pink prom dress she still had in her closet, jewelry she already owned, and styled her hair with precision topped by a glittering tiara from her youth playing dress up.

"A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality." Lucy chimes as she finishes drawing a small streak of blood from the corner of her mouth down her chin. She looks over her work in the mirror, very pleased with her costume choice. "In folklore and gothic storytelling, they have symbolized a 'monstrous and sinful doppelganger' to humanity. I, being the pure innocent heart that I am," Lucy says with heavy sarcasm. "I would like to lean into that— to embrace and embody evil, desire, lust. To be a vampire." She ends her short monologue in a mysterious alluring voice and smiles, flashing the fangs she'd put on her teeth.

"You do love devouring your enemies though, don't you, Lucy?" Patty quips and the three all laugh. "Well I guess, I'm on theme. Never been the sporty type." Patty says, spinning to view her finished work in the full body mirror. "But Violet, you are truly a princess and glowing!" She compliments her friend who gives a gracious smile in return that didn't quite reach her eyes. She certainly didn't feel that way.

It wasn't long before all their friends started to arrive and the party officially began. Autumnal jazz tunes streamed from the record player in the background occasionally interspliced with songs like 'Monster Mash' or 'Season of the Witch' while people enjoyed refreshments and Lucy and Violet stood at the craft table planning their design to draw on a pumpkin.

"Oh Violet, I forgot to tell you! I invited my friend Dolores. I hope it's alright with you! I'm sorry!" Lucy apologizes. Violet internally felt her blood pressure rise, not out of anger in the slightest as she really didn't mind her friend bringing an extra guest, simply due to the slightest change of plans which her currently stressed and high strung mind was fighting to cope with.

"It's alright. If you trust her, of course she's welcome. She seemed lovely when I met her." She answers in the most pleasant hostess tone she could.

"Hey Charlie Brown!" Lucy calls him over to their project. "You'll have to model for me."

"You want me to model?" He asks in shock.

"Sure, Charlie Brown. You'll be the perfect model." Lucy affirms with the most sincere expression.

"Turn around." Violet doesn't give him a moment to respond before gripping his shoulders and spinning the boy to face away from them. She pulls a marker from the table to point with at the back of his head. "If we shape the eyes like this, the nose like this, and the mouth like this.."

"Yes, that's the way." Lucy agrees enthusiastically. "Thank you, Charlie Brown. You were a perfect model." Charlie Brown fumes at their juvenile prank as they burst into laughter. No matter how old they got, they would never be able to resist teasing one another… especially Charlie Brown though.

"Don't be so mean, you guys." Patty chides them back playfully in defense of Charlie Brown.

"What are you even dressed as anyway?" Violet asks him.

"I'm a cowboy! What, you can't tell?!" He takes offense as he had worked quite hard on making his costume with items he had at home.

"Well where's your cowboy hat? You gotta have a cowboy hat!"

"I… couldn't find it… But I got the boots!" He kicks his foot up to show them off.

"I think you look more like a scarecrow." Lucy comments and, at that moment, Pig-pen walks up to greet the group.

"Hi guys! I bet you can't guess who I am under here!" But his usual odor, dirty shoes, and not to mention his voice were all still obvious under the bed sheet he had as his ghost costume.

"Hi Pig-Pen." Franklin says, walking by in his astronaut suit with an open helmet and Pig-Pen sighs at his instant recognition. Marcie and Peppermint Patty then come through the door dressed in homemade pirate outfits.

"Arrrr mateys!" Peppermint yells to everyone as her grand entrance. "The party has truly arrived now." She announces, proudly holding up a trick-or-treat sac for all to see. However, everyone knew from enough parties with her, there was most definitely not candy in that bag. Marcie rolls her eyes and shakes her head at her girlfriend. She didn't really mind in principle, but Peppermint Patty still hadn't been listening to her pleas to take their future more seriously and the fact that Marcie knew she'd likely need to be the sober sitter for the night was only another reminder of her role as the responsible one in the relationship. Violet also feels her eye twitch a little as she thinks about the added opportunities for disaster she'd need to worry about and manage.

Dolores knocks soon after and Lucy joyously lets her in.

"Happy Halloween! Nice costume!" Lucy takes in her whole look in awe. Dolores was wearing a solid, short, black, box dress contrasted by every inch of exposed skin on her arms, legs, and neck covered in vibrantly painted marigolds which were woven around painted bones, forming a full skeleton with her face transformed to that of an intricately decorated skull.

"Hiiii! Happy Día de los Muertos! It's not really a costume actually—"

"Oh I do know about that! I'm so sorry I didn't ask if you celebrate Halloween first!" Lucy winces at herself but Dolores simply laughs in amusement.

"No don't worry, I was thrilled to be invited and get to meet your friends. I definitely am trying to reconnect with my roots and some of the traditions I grew up with. I made an ofrenda in my van and created this," she motions to the work of art she had become, "to honor friends and family I've lost. Butttt I also certainly rebelled quite a bit when I was younger and snuck out for Halloween with friends more years than not." She reminisces on the memories.

"It's beautiful. I can't imagine how long you spent. The details are spectacular, truly." Lucy guides her inside and shows her where to find games, crafts, food and drink, and more before firing off facts and names of their friends. "Here let me reintroduce you to Violet."

"Oh yeah, who I met at Kirmser's?"

"Yes!" Violet is standing alone beside the bar when Lucy catches her attention. “Hey, Violet! I wanted to introduce you to my friend, Dolores again.” Violet greeted them with a polite smile, still successfully fighting to maintain her composure though she felt only moments away from a breakdown.

“Hello, how do you do?” Violet curtsies to her guest as a proper host ought to do. “Your body paint is…” She surveys the look as she searches for the right word. “Just beautifully divine.” Dolores does a happy and gracious twirl and the girls quickly lose themselves in conversation.

"Lucy, do you know when Schroeder's getting here?" Charlie Brown approaches to ask.

"Oh. He's not here yet, is he?" Her eyes scan the party. "I'll go call him from the kitchen and see when he's getting here." She walks off and dials the phone in the quiet away from the loud living room and lounge.

"Hello, Mrs. Berdahl speaking."

"Oh. Hi Dena, it's Lucy. I was calling to see if Schroeder would be on his way to the party soon."

"He stopped home after dropping you off after school and then said he was headed back there to practice more. Has he seriously not left yet? That boy… I swear." Lucy frowns as she realizes Schroeder had locked himself away again, no doubt convinced he couldn't spare the time away from practicing with auditions on the horizon. She reflects back on the promise she had made to Dena and knew what she had to do.

"Don't worry, ma'am. I'll handle this." Lucy reassures her and they wrap up their conversation before Lucy dashes to the front door. "I'm going to go get him." She informs Charlie Brown.

"Okay. Tell him we miss him. He's been so busy lately." Charlie says with evident wistfulness.

"Hey Peppermint, may I?" Lucy requests her friend.

"Of course, Lucille. I came very prepared." She boasts as she passes off a full handful of pre-wrapped baggies from her sac.

"Thanks, you're the best. Oh, and by the way, make sure my brother doesn't take any, will ya? He doesn't need that." And with that, Lucy took off in a speed walk to the school in the cold, eternally grateful that Violet lived so close.

Schroeder sat slouched forward over the keys of his piano, playing with ferocity a draft for a new piece he'd been constructing since he'd returned to practicing. However, after hours of going through the same segments and making adjustments and adding new lines, it was all beginning to sound like complete shit. Schroeder groans as he hits a key twice where it didn't belong, trying to feel out where the melody wanted to go, but no direction was sounding the way he wanted to. He wasn't even sure what he was looking for either. And every few minutes, his mind would remember the brutal reality of the situation with his mother that he was working so hard not to think about, but couldn't seem to escape.

He frustratedly starts again, feeling the sweat bead on the back of his neck from the tension in his body and the beating lights of the auditorium. Sometimes he considered playing in the complete dark just to avoid its warmth, but at a time like now, when he needed to see his notes, that was definitely not an option even if he was certainly capable of playing just about anything blindfolded. Suddenly, Schroeder hears clacking of heels from the hallway outside and he looks up just as Lucy enters, greeting him with her fanged smile.

"Schroederrr!" She calls to him before hopping up onto his piano with her legs dangling beside him.

"Hi Lucy. What are you doing here?" He asks with mild irritation by her interruption as he finally drops his hands from the piano keys. "And completely in costume at that?" He examines the vampire before him. She was in a fitted black velvet dress that came to the middle of her thighs and had a short black cape strung around her neck tied into a dainty bow. Her typical red lipstick was a somewhat darker shade and lined with black all topped with a sheer gloss and, of course, the fake blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. Her eyeliner was also longer and fuller than usual and accompanied by an intense smokey eye and ghostly powdered face. She additionally clutched at her side a standard, small, dark red purse which matched both the rose patterned lace stockings she wore and her heels.

"You should've known I wasn't going to let you lock yourself away practicing all night. It's Halloween!! C'mon! You should be at the party having fun with everyone!" She jumps off the piano and takes his hand, pulling him up from his bench and twirling herself under his arm.

"Lucy, I really don't have time—

"You don't have a choice actually." She giggles up at him.

"What do you mean?" He continues to fuss.

"Everyone has already decided for you! You are coming to the party tonight."

"That's not how that—"

"Augh Schroederrrr, everyone misses your company and is so eager to see you." Schroeder couldn't deny the way his heart warmed knowing at the reminder that his friends deeply cared for him, but it utterly melted at Lucy's pleading eyes and exaggerated pout. He chuckles as he bit back a smile but knew he couldn't make it that easy for her.

"But whatever will I wear? I didn't plan a costume!" He says sarcastically, throwing his arms up in defeat. Lucy thinks for only a moment before she unties the cape from her neck and reaches into her bag to reveal an extra pair of fangs and handful of travel sized makeup products.

"These were my back up fangs and the makeup was for touch ups, but this will do fine."

"Seriously?" He facepalms, shaking his head. "You're really about to dress me up to match you?" He backs away slowly, suppressing a laugh as she approaches him slowly with a smirk.

"You're welcome for the honor." She says deadpan and he finally breaks into a laugh. "Now hold still!" He groans, though this time his annoyance was feigned, and he leans against his piano to allow Lucy to hurriedly do her work. She draws and smudges some liner on both his top and bottom eyelids and uses the same pencil to scribble some lines on his lips and asks him to smudge it to create a dark grey shade to enhance the deathly appearance. She would've loved to do it herself but knew that making such a request even in jest would aggravate the boy she was already pushing outside his comfort zone. Finishing with a quick coat of semi-sheer white powder that formed a cloud in the air and made Schroeder cough, she moves onto wrapping the cape around him and tying it in the same neat little bow she'd had. It was lucky it worked well with the plain black t-shirt he already was wearing. Lucy steps back to admire her work, feeling like she'd put her practice with theatre makeup to good use.

"Okay, before I give you the fangs."

"Now what?" She coyly reveals the other bags she had in her purse, courtesy of Peppermint Patty, and Schroeder's eyes go wide. "Lucy… are those… mushrooms?" He asks, struggling to contain his laughter.

"Yeah. Peppermint Patty, of course, always wants to… liven up the functions as you know." She can't suppress the chuckle that slips out. "Think of it this way, Schroeder. Take advantage of tonight to relax, go on a journey, process some of the shit that's clouding your brain, and come out of it ready to get back to practice better than ever." Lucy explains temptingly and Schroeder ponders her words in quiet for a moment.

"I— I don't know, Lucy."

"C'monnnn Schroederrrr. Life's too short…" She bites her tongue at her perhaps insensitive choice of words before quickly continuing. "Let's do this together and see what we learn about ourselves." She holds some out to him and he hesitantly takes it before she grabs a dose out for herself. "Shall we?" Lucy quirks an eyebrow devilishly. She takes a bite, deciding not to wait for him, daring him to do the same and, after a moment, he finally follows suit, trying not to laugh at himself as he chews.

"Augh, I can't believe I'm doing this. Why do I let you boss me around?"

"Well, you know, my costume in a way is the manifestation of temptation, Schroeder."

"Oh... I thought you normally liked to pick costumes that were opposite to you?" Lucy pauses as she processes what he's said.

"What?"

"What?" Schroeder begins to hear his words back in his head too. "Wait, did you walk here in heels?" He asks, attempting to change the subject.

"Yeah." Lucy admits.

"Sorry… Thank you…" Schroeder mutters under his breath, averting eye contact as they depart the school. Throughout the walk back to Violet's, the two may or may not have dared one another to take some more as the mood between them shifted to anticipation and excitement for the party and for their trip to set in. But thankfully, neither were so reckless as to dramatically overdo it even with the limited experience they'd each had in the past with the substance.

When they make it to the house, the music had been turned up and the party had truly come alive now. Lucy and Schroeder make their way through the now far more crowded space to retrieve drinks for themselves while greeting those they encountered on their path. In the corner, Lucy sees Violet and Dolores appearing deep in conversation and she notices Violet crying as well despite her efforts to subtly shield her face with her hand and drink. Lucy decides not to interrupt and keeps forward before bumping into Linus.

"Of course, only my brother would dress as a random old man for Halloween! How embarrassing." This causes Schroeder to recall back to all the times he had gone as Beethoven.

"I'm not 'some random old man.' I'm the apostle Paul!" Linus protests through his large, fake, white beard.

"You're a real blockhead, you know that?" Lucy rolls her eyes.

"At least I didn't pick one of the most common monsters ever and not even make it scary and I didn't make my girlfriend dress up to match!"

"I'm not her—"

"Well at least, I didn't believe in the Great Pumpkin until I was a teenager and make her sit in a field over it as a kid!" They both angrily stick their tongues out at each other and storm off away with Schroeder opting not to say another word as he follows Lucy to the counter serving as the party's bar.

"Ugh, Linus doesn't know anything! He hasn't read the Polidori’s Vampyre or Carmilla or even so much as Stoker’s Dracula or know about—" Lucy rambles on to Schroeder who listens to her talk on and on, losing himself in an almost trance as the words melted into indecipherable melodies and he felt a light fluttering in his stomach which was about the moment he realized the mushrooms ought to be just beginning their crescendo. "But maybe he's right about not being scary enough… Schroeder!" She snaps his attention back to the present. "Help me with this blood quick." Before he could even process what she meant, she'd placed a small squeeze bottle of fake blood in his hand and red lip liner pencil in the other. "Okay. Just make two little dots and then carefully.. very carefully.." She warns seriously. "Drip a little bit of the blood from the dots."

Schroeder normally would've complained and attempted to say no, but he decides to go along for once as he knew she'd already done him a solid by forcing him to enjoy himself with his friends, and also in part because he wanted to relax into his come up and this gave his eyes something to focus on. And focus they did. On her neck, on her shoulders and collarbone, on her chest.. back to her neck. He scolds himself and leans in a bit as she angles her neck towards him to have a clear view for precise work with the limited supplies at her disposal. The pair's positioning, along with the fangs they both donned, and the blossoming imagination made the intrusive thoughts inevitable. As he drew the circles carefully, he saw himself biting down and ravishing her without restraint, visions that only became more vivid as he dripped the blood down the nape of her neck with some spilling down to her dress and her chest. "Yay thanks, Schroeder! Okay your turn!"

"What?!"

Amongst the crowd back in the living room, Linus finds his way back to his dandelion dressed girlfriend.

"Sally… Be honest. Is my costume ridiculous? Lucy laughed at it."

"Oh I'd never laugh at you, Linus. You're so intelligent." She swoons over him, snaking her fingers through his hair as she pulls him close to her and Linus blushes.

"And.. you're not embarrassed with me, especially tonight, with all the years I spent talking about the Great Pumpkin?" Linus grimaces at the memory of his former self which he, in hindsight, attributed greatly to his older sister's outlandish theories she had raised him on during his formative years, even if the Great Pumpkin had been one of his own. Linus felt he had finally left behind his belief in the Great Pumpkin as he grew and, instead, turned to embrace his Christian teachings, even contemplating pursuing a degree in Biblical studies after high school. Sally admired him for his maturity and desire to distance himself from any 'craziness'. She herself had always dreamt for her future not much more than comfort and simplicity— a more traditional life with a respectable man, preferably Linus. She didn't like school nor did she understand the longing for a career that more and more women were talking about these days, she just wanted to be a housewife and tend to her gardening. She would, of course however, do it all with her own unique attitude and would no doubt be the highest of maintenance for Linus or any future partners, swearing never to let a man in her vicinity know peace.

Charlie Brown suddenly appears beside them, cutting in. "What's going on here? What are you trying to do to my little sister?" He snarls and leads her away but clearly was still oblivious that their relationship had passed beyond Sally's infatuation. Linus sighs as he's left alone to his own devices now and his eyes search the party for something interesting. He spots Peppermint Patty being cheered as she chugged a cauldron of some unspecified alcoholic punch and considered taking her up on her bag of freely available mushrooms. He was getting older and more mature after all, and he was a spiritual man. He wondered, why not embark on an experience that had the potential to deepen his understanding and faith? He resigned himself to the idea and marched to the bag she'd left on a nearby table for all to pull from.

"I'm so very sorry, you'll have to please excuse me. I don't normally cry like this." Violet turns to face the wall as she continues to blot her tears with napkins, careful to not disturb her mascara.

"Stop, stop. You have nothing to apologize for. You said you threw this whole party yourself? That must have been incredibly stressful." Dolores attempts to validate her in a soft voice.

"No, no, that's not it!" Violet shakes her head as she holds back the heaviest of her sobs. "I-I'm yes, it has been. But that's not really what's hurting me. I.. I just feel so.. trapped.. and like everything's been laid out for me and I have no say over any of it and no one cares what I want!" She spits out the words without thinking, unable to stop them from spilling out and Dolores listens with concern but also recognition. "And I'm realizing more and more that my best friend… well, we're drifting…" Her voice breaks as she nods to where Patty stood at Charlie Brown's side working on something and laughing together at the craft table. "And… she was the only thing making it all bearable. And I need to move on." She feels her heart shatter as she spoke the words aloud.

"Well, what is it you want? Moving on can be such a blessing and opportunity to pursue that!"

"I'm… I don't know. But I'm afraid.. oh my god. I'm so afraid."

"Hey, hey, hey." Dolores takes her white gloved hands in her paint covered ones and captures her gaze. "Change is scary. Going after what you want, becoming yourself, it's all terrifying." She nods with full understanding and empathy. "But it is so worth it and it will be so beautiful." She smiles softly, squeezing her hands tighter as Violet finally begins to calm and catch her breath. "Don't be afraid to listen to your heart and what it's telling you."

"I don't know exactly what it's telling me, I just know I'm not happy and I've spent so long pushing away whatever voices have tried to speak to me."

"Wellllll, your friend with the cauldron over there did bring something we could use to work on that together? Just because you're the host doesn't mean you can't have fun yourself. And I am experienced, I'll take a low dose with you and be your guide."

"I've tried other things she's brought before… doesn't always go too well… But we don't always know what we're doing. But what if my dad can tell? Him and my mother are just relaxed in the basement, what if he comes up and—"

"You're an adult aren't you?"

"Well, yes but—"

"You've put together a lovely party, everyone is well taken care of, that girl in the glasses seems to be managing everyone else pretty well, and everyone's contained here. And if your dad comes up, I'll just cause a distraction and sneak you out." She winks with a smirk which makes Violet's cheeks flush red though it wasn't noticeable with how reddened they'd already become by her crying.

"… Well, alright." She finally agrees, letting some of the tension release from her shoulders as she accepted an opportunity to rebel and better understand herself with someone who was offering such kindness.

Franklin and Pig-Pen are chatting with their drinks on another side of the vast but tightly packed space, discussing the news when Schroeder and Lucy walk past.

"Oh, hey Schroeder! Happy Halloween!" Franklin greets him eagerly.

"Hey, guys. Happy Halloween."

"We haven't seen you much this month… We heard the news.. I'm so sorry, man."

"Thanks.. I.. I— yeah, it's a lot." He admits, raking his hand through his hair. "I'm just trying to focus on my auditions and not let it get to me."

"For sure. I know it's not the same of course but my grandfather's declining more and trying to focus on school with that… It's just so much sometimes." Schroeder nods as he appreciated his friend's attempt to connect and it did make him feel seen.

"Yeah, man." He returns his sad smile.

"And with the protests and new draft bill on top of it all, forget it!" He bursts out in a hollow laugh before taking a big swig of his cup.

"The— the what?" He asks and Lucy and Schroeder both glance to one another to confirm they were both confused.

"Yeah the moratoriums and the lottery." Franklin answers as if it were obvious before he takes in the perplexed faces before him. "You… you haven't heard?"

"You know all the hell I've been dealing with... I haven't been listening to the news for a single moment." Lucy admits she's been preoccupied with theatre and everything going on at school and must've missed it as well.

"Well… Okay. Try not to freak out." Fuck. "Nixon's plan for the draft was introduced to congress at the end of last month and it's already passed in the house so.. it's moving pretty swiftly. Boys born in 1950 are going to be first up for induction with the order determined by a lottery of all the birthdays from that year." Schroeder listens in shock and horror as his heart sank. He was born in 1950 and the only thing that had been keeping him relatively safe was that, until now, the draft pool of men ages 18-26 were being inducted oldest first. Schroeder obviously knew that Shermy had been called sure, but he was had been the oldest among their neighborhood gang at the age of 22, had only been enlisted for a short time before his death, and Schroeder still had been feeling fairly confident that he would be enrolled in classes the following fall before he began hearing of men his age in his city being called. "The moratorium was planned months back but it happened on the 15th. I can't believe you didn't see it, there were protests in every city, here too, traffic was nuts. And there's gonna be another on November 15th. People don't want this draft bill, man. They're not taking it lying down."

"Fuck no." Pig-Pen finally chimes in. "I don't care what I gotta do, I'll fail all my classes just to be held back again if it means I don't graduate and get to keep my school exception. They better not come for that too."

"I… was lucky I guess to be born in '49." Franklin says.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Schroeder wasn't even certain what the right question was to ask, he simply shook his head trying to deny as panic set in.

"I mean it hasn't passed everything yet.." Schroeder turns and makes a sharp beeline to Charlie Brown who was with Patty, still socializing and now playing with the corn hole setup that Violet had cleared space in the main entrance hall for.

"Charlie Brown!" Schroeder calls to his friend as he quickens to a jog to get to him. "Did you hear about the protests and the new draft thing?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"The moratorium on the 15th and the draft lottery. Did you hear anything about this shit?"

"Oh the 15th the World Series was going on so I was pretty focused on that.. Draft lottery? What do you mean?" Schroeder pulls at his hair infuriated by the helplessness he felt about yet another thing disrupting his life.

"So we've all just been completely out of the loop this month, huh? Fuck! What am I fucking doing here? Why did I take those shrooms, shit! I could not have heard all that at a worse time. I am so fucked with this trip, I am so fucked with my future, I am so—" Lucy takes his hands in hers and leans close to his face to grab his attention.

"Schroeder, stop. Hey, listen. Breathe." She takes a big deep breath herself and exhales to model for him which he follows. "Let's go sit on the couch and you can talk about whatever you need, we'll just relax and," his expression turns pained as his anxiety tormented him and the voices only grew louder in his head. "I know— I know I feel them starting to hit too. Let's just ride it together, alright?" He sighs as he listens. "It's gonna be okay, let's go." She directs him through the throngs of people to the couch which had been pushed against the wall to make more standing room and allowed them the illusion of little more privacy and quiet with the wall to their backs and the sparse illumination that reached the spot. Night had fallen and the house was now only lit by Halloween lights strung throughout the home and the occasional spooky candle decoration. They squeezed beside each other in the one and a sorta half spots that were available and Schroeder got straight to venting.

"Curtis, Rice, Julliard, Colburn. These are some of the most difficult schools to get into in the world regardless of subject. I know I have it in me, but what if I choke? I don't have any of the competition experience most of these other applicants have, I didn't train with a tutor when I was young, I haven't played with any big orchestras outside of high school which doesn't even count really. My academics are moderately above average but that might not be enough. And what if I let everything get to me? What if watching my mom die," the words still stung on his tongue so greatly, "what if I become too weak and I can't focus? I can't falter now. Not after a whole lifetime of preparation."

The sounds of the room seemed to get louder and louder but they sat close enough that Lucy could hear his every word with his normal speaking voice. For once, it was he who jabbered away thinking about the future and 'what ifs' while she sat and listened, at least until she noticed his hands were still in hers and suddenly they had absorbed her attention instead.

"Beethoven would be better than this. He suffered so much heartache in his life and he still was able to be the greatest composer of all time! He'd probably scoff and turn up his nose at me right now. He'd tell me I was being weak." Lucy didn't hear much past that point as she became completely honed in on his hands in her grasp. "My whole future is at stake with these auditions… ugh my future. I really have planned it all haven't I? What even put me in this path anyway? What is it even about piano that I cannot live without?"

Not a word managed to reach Lucy's ears, completely entranced by his hands. Lucy stretches and flattens their hands together and intertwines their fingers. Schroeder remained unaware of her touch as it didn't feel unnatural to him after all the years of their closeness.

After, honestly who knows how long, Schroeder eventually takes a deep sigh as he re-centers himself and glances down to his hand, finally noticing Lucy's captivation. He doesn't say a word or react and takes a long time watching her to process. She was completely fascinated with his hands and examined them closer than she ever had before as if noticing them in a new light as textures and colors came alive. Her typical fascination with his hands, which she was unaware he definitely noticed when she watched him play piano, didn't usually lead her to be unable to resist staring to such a degree and Schroeder himself questioned what precisely about them held her attention so intently.

He finally cuts through the quiet between them, "Lucy?" Her finger tips pressed to his as she continued to play without acknowledging him. "Luc, what are you doing?" She finally snaps to his gaze and his face was much closer to hers than she had realized. They had gotten quite close in their cozy descent into their trip on their cushions.

"What?" She asks her expression, guilt ridden like she'd been caught doing something wrong while also simultaneously genuinely perplexed by her own actions. She yanks her hand back from his.

"What was all that?" He asks, blinking at her in confusion.

"Uhh— what?" She looks around to avoid his suspicious leer.

"You seem… pretty interested in my hands.." Schroeder clears his throat and both of their ghostly pale faces turn dramatically crimson.

"I'm going to get a drink." Lucy stands abruptly and leaves, not having the ability to think of what to say.

She wanders through the party goers in a mildly dizzy haze, the colors and shapes around her were intense, almost overbearing. Lucy doesn’t know where she is wandering to just that she is searching for something to do and suddenly encounters the game of bobbing for apples. No one else stood around to play and technically she could have simply grabbed candy from the prize bowl without playing, but where's the fun in that?

She reached behind her head to hold her hair back from falling forward and leaned down over the barrell to the water level. She momentarily becomes mesmerized by the movement of the water and the apples floating around.

"Yeah, Lucy! You should be good at this. You have the perfect mouth for it!" Someone's voice calls out to her, pulling her back to reality and instantly angering the fanged woman.

"Who said that?!" She growls as her eyes dart around the party searching for the insulter, but no one seemed to even be looking in her direction which left her utterly confused.

"Hey, Lucy." Peppermint Patty tracks her down. "Did you take any more from my sac? I could have sworn I put more in here."

"No, I didn't. Just what you gave me and we didn't even have it all. I can give you some of these back."

"Lucy…" Sally interrupts, catching her attention with a face stricken with worry. She leans towards Lucy to whisper in her ear, lifting her hand to hide her mouth as well. Schroeder catches up with Lucy as she's listening to Sally.

"Shut up. You're not being serious!" Lucy gasps and her face twists into one of anger.

"Sadly, I am."

"What is it?" Schroeder asks, dying to know the problem.

"Linus left to go to a pumpkin patch… looking for the Great Pumpkin… Tripping out of his mind." Lucy seethes as she explains.

"No fucking way.” Is all he can respond with.

"Okay… uhhh you just stay here and I'll go after him. He'll need help getting home." Lucy says to Sally and she turns to leave but is stopped by Schroeder grabbing her arm.

"Hey! You can't just wander into the dark alone, especially not when you're fucked up too!"

"You can't stop me. Just try to enjoy the party, Schroeder. Maybe I'll be back in time to catch you for another drink." She winks and walks away again. Schroeder watches her leave and curses to himself, knowing he couldn't let her go alone. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if something happened to her, the same reason she was going after her brother despite his own actions. Schroeder chases after her, pushing through everyone with as steady a balance and polite of manners as he could manage.

"Where you guys going?" Pig-Pen asks, spotting Schroeder hurrying past.

"Yeah, you going home with her?" Franklin teases with a wink and nod of his head in the direction Lucy had gone.

"No! Linus is tripping in a pumpkin patch, we might be back, I don't know."

"What?" They both ask back simultaneously but it was too late, Schroeder was already bursting out the door and running to catch up to Lucy with his cape flowing behind him. He reaches her as she's making her way down the sidewalk and she turns around at the sound of him coming behind her.

"You can't go alone." He says, catching his breath.

"I didn't ask you to come." She crosses her arms in defense. She would never turn down more time with Schroeder, but she would not be found responsible for however miserable he'd be on the journey.

"Yes, you did… You didn't need to say the words. You said it with your eyes." He accuses her.

"You must be seeing things." She turns away, biting her lip to try and suppress her smile.

"Aren't you right now?" He motions to the grass and trees, referring to how everything in the scene around them appeared to be breathing and alive.

"Yeah. I guess you could say it's… spooky. OOoooOooOOOoooooh.” Lucy wiggles her fingers as she makes her ghostly sound.

"Ha… Ha." They slip into a brief lull as they begin their walk in the direction of the suspected pumpkin patch of their youth. "You owe me." Schroeder says.

"No, Linus owes you." Lucy sasses back.

"… Well, yeah."

They move at a fairly slow pace and work together to carefully navigate the streets as they were still filled with trick-or-treaters menacing about the neighborhood even though the official time for door knocking had passed. Faces of monsters and ghosts and ghouls and superheros and any figure out of a child's imagination walked by under the light of the few street lamps and porch lights that were on.

The effort to focus kept the pair relatively silent and slipping back into their own minds. Lucy found herself wandering down a dark trail surrounded by whispers from demons, echoing many of her insecurities. She wondered why her mind plagued her so. Why such thoughts must insist on creeping in when she had been a dear friend to Violet by helping her prepare for the party, to Schroeder for dragging him to it and being his emotional support, and now a loving sister to her blockhead brother by going after him in the night while inebriated herself. It was as if her mind couldn't let her know peace, couldn't allow her to feel wholly good and complete and she wondered why. Why the harshness? Why always the need for perfection? Did she seek to compensate with external validation and attention? Whose opinion actually mattered but her own? Why couldn't she trust it? Who would she be if she did?

Schroeder sees ghosts peaking out from behind pumpkins, many of which were the spirits of the divine composers he sought to emulate and reincarnate within himself. The Jack O' Lanterns laugh at him when he startles at the figures popping out.

"Do you really think you'll ever come near to reaching anywhere close to our achievements?"

"You don't have what it takes. You must be willing to sacrifice anything. Piano is your life, your love, your death."

"I surrender my life to my art. It is the only path I dream of." Schroeder vows faithfully to the men.

"You lie. You have dreamt of more." Beethoven appears, his voice booming in scorn.

"No! Nothing else!" He denies the allegation with great conviction.

"You have thought about more!” Beethoven ripostes with ferocity. “Perhaps not much in the way of other career pursuits," he spat out the word 'career' like it was too shallow a term it was insulting. "But other temptations…" He draws out the syllables and glances to Lucy who still walked beside him though in a separate distinct realm, existing within the confines of their own dreams. "— are still distractions nonetheless. The tragedy with your mother is enough as it is."

"Lucy's not a temptation!" Schroeder knew he wasn't convincing.

"Is she not why you're here right now? And in that ridiculous costume?" Schroeder stays silent as he takes the scolding. "Schroeder. You cannot have a future with her."

"I didn't say I wanted to—"

"You didn't need to. I am your mind, I know what you've thought about." Schroeder grinds his teeth in anger, clenching his jaw shut to stop himself from speaking back to the man he worshiped. "Schroeder you cannot have both."

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yes!” He takes a deep sigh before continuing. “I wouldn't do that to her… It would never work because it would never be fair. She'd always have to come second."

"Exactly." And with that he disappears into smoke. The air was chilly and owls hooted in the night as Lucy and Schroeder were beginning to feel truly haunted. At times, the pair were convinced they were being chased by bats and dancing skeletons and witches on broom sticks.

"Where are we even going, Schroeder?" Lucy asks in a fog.

"I don't know!" He shouts back, spooking the girl beside him who stops in place as he paces in a circle.

"Wha—"

"How do YOU know what path to take?"

"I don't even know where we are—"

"How do you know you're on the right one? Lucy, how do you know if you're choosing the right future? Everything is so fleeting.. You only have one chance to get it right!" She listens as he yells into the silence of the night which was deafening as she thinks of a response, trying to equip her psychologist brain through the fuzziness.

"I think… I think you listen to the voices, you listen to your heart. No one else's. It's yours that matters." She spoke as much to herself as she did to him.

"But.. Wha-what if… What if they're saying contradictory things?" His expression was pained and Lucy empathized with the battle in his mind. She slowly steps up close to him to speak softly.

"Maybe we're just being haunted by our fears, Schroeder. Fear to trust ourselves." They stare into each other's eyes, looking deep into their souls, the soul of another vampire lost in the night reflecting on who they were and their own mortality.

"Linus! We're going to Linus!" Lucy suddenly remembers and turns back to continue the march. Schroeder is brought back to reality himself and follows, shaking his head in an attempt to clear it from the craziness it had produced. It wasn't much longer that they finally came up on their local pumpkin patch. It had been quite the exhausting walk, but they had survived in one piece.

"Finallyyyyy." Lucy groans as she holds onto the wooden fence, preparing to climb it to enter.

"Do you see him out there?"

"No, it's sooo dark. We'll just have to use moonlight and walk around. Hopefully he didn't decide to go to sleep, good grief!"

"Here, let me help." Schroeder holds her hand and the small of her back as she swings her legs over. "God, still in heels. What were you thinking?"

"Again, blame Linus."

"Oh, I will." He climbs over next.

"Well, let's split up I guess." Lucy throws her arms up in accceptance of their fate and walks in one direction while Schroeder goes the other.

"LINUSSS!!" They both call out, amplifying their shouts with their hands. They continue on with this for a few minutes before Lucy stumbles upon Linus's fake beard discarded on a pumpkin. She darts her eyes around in search of him and finally sees him curled up in a ball on the ground.

"LINUS!!" She shrieks. "SCHROEDER I FOUND HIM!" Linus begins to stir and Lucy crouches beside him. "Hey." He groans in response and starts to roll himself over to get himself up. "Do you know where you are, Linus?"

“Bloody hell, Linus. What were you thinking, man?” Schroeder reaches their spot as Lucy sits Linus upright and that was about all Schroeder could think to ask his friend in his pathetic state.

"Did-did I miss it? Has the Great Pumpkin come yet?"

"Oh, brother! This was really stupid of you, Linus. I know you think you’re grown up but you’re not." He finally opens his eyes all the way and turns to look at his sister.

"AHHHH!" He pulls back in terror. "VAMPIRE!!!" Schroeder smacks his head at the insanity of his friend. At that moment, they begin to hear sounds of laughter in the distance behind them, prompting them to squint to see who it was. Their jaws drop at the sight of their friends prancing down the street and then through the field towards the pumpkin patch.

"HIIIIIIIII!!" They all cheer in greeting as they quicken their pace to a running stampede, several of them tripping and falling onto each other in uproarious laughter. It was obvious who else was out of this world and who wasn't.

"WHERE IS HE?!" Sally stomps over in a rage. "Why would you do something so stupid? You ruined my Halloween!" She complains but, in truth, Linus didn't process a word. "Is he gonna be alright?" Sally asks Lucy, her voice suddenly full of worry.

"Yeah, he'll be fine."

"Good then I can kill him for scaring me to death!"

“What did you guys come for?” Schroeder spots Charlie Brown and asks.

“We just had to see it for ourselves.” He practically cackles as he points to Linus.

“Okay, but we also kinda had to get everyone out and away from my parents…” Violet explains to Lucy in a not so quiet whisper through a fit of giggles. She appeared far more joyful now and her tiara had seemingly been discarded.

“But especially her.” Dolores joined in the laughter.

“We brought the party with us!” Peppermint Patty howls into the night.

“And also waters.” Marcie adds in a serious deadpan, holding up her bag of bottles she’d lugged along. Others had also brought blankets and snacks and it wasn't long before a bonfire appeared but neither Lucy nor Schroeder witnessed who had started it or how, just that it provided much needed warmth which allowed everyone to settle back into the fun of the occasion and even enjoy the very much on-theme even if also hilarious setting they had journeyed to.

The festivities and joyous time together continued through the duration of the night as had been planned and, as the sun began to rise, they all finally were coming down from their trips. Lucy and Schroeder sat beside each other, watching the sunrise and the now sleepy girl looked at the equally fatigued boy next to her. His hair was ruffled, his pants and the bottom of his cape were dirty from the ground, and the makeup she'd applied to him hours ago had long begun to smudge in multiple areas. She found the messiness of it all, how it reflected the story of the night, all rather charming and adorable though.

"Hey, Schroeder?" She asks, disrupting the quiet they enjoyed along with the majority of the gang who relaxed in silence, taking in the view as well.

"Yeah?"

"Since we're vampires, do you think when the sun is up we'll start to burn away?" Schroeder wondered for a moment if her trip had perhaps not faded to the degree his had yet to prompt such a silly question. However, then Lucy rested her head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes and Schroeder realized her dreamy imagination was overtaking as she drifted. He couldn't stop the small smile that her peaceful expression brought him.

"I hope not. Sounds painful."

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Chapter 8 Deep Dive (if uninterested, skip to end for author's note)

- Ok so let's talk about Dena and her diagnosis and decision a bit. So I've had the timeline for the major events of this fic figured out since pretty early on, I mean not down to the date for every detail but within a few week timespan at most really and now i've got it down to specific dates for almost everything and anyway, I have known since early on when Dena's death needed to happen and so the decision to have her not pursue treatment came about from knowing her diagnosis to death timeline needed to be in a shorter time frame than what would likely occur with treatment. And originally I had hoped the solution was going to be that research into cancer treatment at the time would tell me chemotherapy didn't yet exist or was not widely used yet. It turns out that's not the case though, chemotherapy began being more widely used in the 50s and 60s and so it likely would've been an available option to her. And so as I thought on it more I decided to go this route with her character because I think it's also exactly what Schroeder needs for his character. She knows Schroeder still needs to learn the value of deep emotional connections and the value of time shared and memories made and to understand that everything is fleeting, when you find love and joy you should reach out and grab it and hold on to it and cherish it. Currently, he views his emotions and being emotionally vulnerable as a weakness and distraction from his passion and doesn't see how they can coexist if he is to dedicate himself to the level he wants. And this applies to all kinds of relationships of course (but romantically specifically it's amplified by his lessened interest in the idea of romance in general. I am writing him with the intention that he falls somewhere on the asexual/aromantic spectrum. I will down the line get deeper into specifics about that but right now that's all that's relevant). So he fears big emotions and tapping into them and having these deep connections and piano being his whole world really, his passion but also his escape and like way of living, he is afraid of disrupting the path he put himself on and not having that. He doesn't realize in fact love (whatever form it takes) can only enrich not only his life but his art. Anyway, this all gets into the theme of this two parter: Mortality, Ephemerality. To be honest, the only reason that I picked ephemerality instead of mortality is because I was worried people reading chap 6 and then immediately starting chap 7 would realize immediately that Dena was dying if the chapter was called mortality. Like it was too on the nose i thought. So ephemerality is almost a synonym. It means the fleetingness of life. And so the theme being death all around is why I decided to include halloween as well. Just amping up the spook lol. Anywayyyyy back the original point. Besides what I thought Dena not pursuing treatment and taking this new mentality could do with Schroeder's character, I also just really like it for Dena's character too. She became so much clearer in my head then like I understood her deeper. She has lived quite the traditional life, growing up in a large family with a mother even more traditional and old fashioned than herself, and while she works a little she is mostly as a housewife, living in the suburbs comfortably but with fairly strict rules for herself and socializing. But at her heart she is full of love and cherishes her family above all else. So I can see how she would go this route. How this could wake her up to wanting to do more with her life and take adventures with her family in her limited remaining time. But that's a lot harder to do when extra sick from treatment. So yea. what do yall think lol.

- "don't give up on him" lol was that line too on the nose idk i still can't decide maybe ill change it down the line.

- ok so lemme be honest about the dress code protest lol. the scene where lucy shows up dressed like that in the morning, that scene randomly came to me one day and i became possessed by the writing demons to write it and then i was like fuck i neeeeeed this and i neeed it in this chapter specifically because well my brain told me so idk. And then that led to doing deeper research into protests at the time. So yeaaaa lowkey did it for that scene hahaha. But i will say, in reality i had been watching a lot of tiktoks about fashion at the time for this project and also just cuz i love vintage fashion and i definitely was vaguely aware of these protests already. And then when I was figuring out how this could possibly fit into the themes of the chapter, I decided to tie it into the idea of living freer and more authentically and without care of anyone's expectations and so that along with learning about the San Fran braless protest and also having already established Dolores as a character that dresses very "immodestly", I realized how this also tied into Dolores and her burgeoning relationship with Violet and where I'm going with her as well as everything I mentioned with Dena wanting to live more "daringly".

- Anyway. holy shit this deep dive is so long my head hurts.

- Ok let's talk about Violet. So kinda like Peppermint Patty and Marcie, I took some details from the strips and kinda extrapolated certain things from it and dialed it up to 11 but in Violet's case i am basing it all off of wayyy fewer strips and a lot more personal projection. There were a small handful of strips where Violet would brag about everything her dad could do or own. And all I'll say about that is I with my abusive father used to do that so much as a really young child and it idk it gave me flashbacks haha. And then there was another strip where Violet was talking about needing to practice being a housewife. And then especially as the decades went on, Violet and Patty were very often pictured together as are Schroeder and Lucy and Peppermint Patty and Marcie. And also at a certain point, I think maybe while writing chapter 5, I realized what I wanted to do with Violet's character was make her a parallel to Lucy. She is meant to be an extreme of Lucy's situation. What I mean by that is while Lucy is discovering who she is and dealing with insecurities and a desire to hold herself to this standard of perfection and also suffering from unrequited love, Violet feels utterly lost in the world and feels completely trapped into a life she doesn't want and perfect expectations imposed on her and she is also dealing with unrequited love but truthfully more unrequited. I originally had no intention of making it requited or unrequited I wasn't sure but I think it's interesting I did this cuz I do ship Violet and Patty lol. But anyway I also took this route because I knew I wanted Dolores to be a parallel to Schroeder which I'll get more into next.

- So Dolores, I actually wanna address something here lol. She’s gay was raised catholic and she's latina anddddd I was not going for a stereotype here but I definitely don’t blame you if it feels that way. What I was looking for with her character was a queer artist with a background in Santa Rosa California to introduce that setting to the fic and while I gotta be vague right now, that is not an irrelevant detail. And I wanted her to have a "broken" relationship with her family and/or community in a way that made her now resistant to being truly emotionally vulnerable and getting too close with others. I wanted her convinced she could be entirely self reliant for everything including emotional strength and artistic inspiration. In essence, like I said, she is meant to be an extreme parallel to Schroeder who himself is currently convinced his art, his music, is all he needs and that having love and other joy and experiences in his life are not necessary to being the musician he dreams of being. In fact, he sees them as distractions or even just straight up obstacles. He doesn’t see how essential they are and how his emotions are not weaknesses. So that’s the basis for Dolores. She represents Schroeder’s future if he continues the path he seeks. Which is a path of isolation. So why make Dolores with the specific story I gave her? Well I spent months minimum, years if you include the time since her inception as a character, contemplating what conflict she should have with her family that got her to this point and how it could tie into her art and how she views herself as free spirited and living her most authentic self pursuing her biggest dreams. And as I continued research into the experiences of queer women at the time, it just unfortunately is the reality that obviously being queer itself was just naturally often a major point of contention in families. But what really solidified this story I’ve given her and specifically the details of it connected to religion and it especially being a struggle with her mom is that, through my research, I found multiple first hand accounts of lesbian chicana women from the late 60s-70s living in California and these hyper specifically relevant stories had similar themes across many of them. And this actually ended up tying directly into stories of chicana artists at the time in california as well. Which brings me to Dia de los Muertos. It occured to me recently when writing that she might not celebrate halloween and so that sent me down a multi day rabbit hole learning about the history of dia de los muertos celebrations in the US in the early 70s and how they were first organized by chicano/a artists in Califnoria specifically an organization called Self Help Graphics. And like before this, both in Mexico and the US celebrations were mostly contained to the home and didn't really involve the big parades we see today. "The revival of the indigenous holiday Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) was part of the Mexican-American reclamation of indigenous identity, an important social aspect of the Chicano Movement, and SHG played an integral role in the holiday’s revival in California." - https://www.selfhelpgraphics.com/dia-de-los-muertos And because this was also during the time of the Vietnam War, a lot of people were using this time to grieve lost loved ones and friends in the war and this public grieving was also used as protest of the war for some. And while technically this was early 70s and not 1969, the way all these details fit together so neatly made her character clearer for me now. She is an immigrant who is both geographically disconnected from where she was born and her culture but also emotionally disconnected from her family and way of life they raised her with and as an artist committed to having power over her identity and her story, not to mention again her connections with California and having growing connections with friends who'd lost someone in Vietnam, she is someone who uses her art to reclaim her identity and so I can easily see how she could have been part of the earliest public celebrations in California and it makes sense to me she'd already at this point in 1969 maybe be exploring that on her own. Which also brings me to La Calavera Catrina, the skeleton makeup I describe her having. The rise of la catrina in it's contemporary form in celebrations also sort've coincided with the beginning of these public festivities but it did exist before that. I've been typing for hours lol I gotta speed this along. The artist who created it between 1910-12 was José Guadalupe Posada. and because I just gotta stop now, I encourage you to read the history of it here. https://glasstire.com/2019/11/02/jose-guadalupe-posada-and-diego-rivera-fashion-catrina-from-sellout-to-national-icon-and-back-again/ Anyway. when describing Dolores' version of the makeup and body paint, I wasn't going for exactly what we see commonly today, because again this was a bit before that image was so i guess standarized or commercialized and so I took a little more liberty imagining she herself is developing how she wants it to look on her and making her own take as an artist engaging with these traditions to connect with her identity and heritage.

- ok that was a lot, let's move on lol.

- "never fall in love with a musician" what an iconic Lucy line used in a few different strips.

- I really cannot overstate just how many tv special references there are in the halloween segment. I think because ive been typing this deep dive so many hours now and im exhausted imma wait to do a deeper deeper dive lol for this later just all about tv special references for the halloween party but ill go through a few rapid fire. Lucy and Linus playing in the leaves is how the Great Pumpkin opens, Violet hosts the halloween party, everything related to the Great Pumpkin obviously, Lucy's comment about opposite costumes, Lucy apple bobbing, Pig-Pen's dialogue about his costume, the different things haunting Lucy and Schroeder on their walk (not beethoven but like the laughing jack o lanterns and ghosts and the owl etc etc etc) that was all a reference to the intro. The moment where Lucy asks Charlie Brown to model. There's also references to the newer Apple Tv halloween special including Pep Patty and Marcie being pirates and Linus was dressed as a bible character but i couldn't find anything that said which character so i went with the apostle paul because Schulz mustve been obsessed with him or something cuz Linus talks about him a lot in the strip. Also Charlie Brown is a cowboy instead of a ghost cuz i didn't want 2 ghosts and he dressed as a cowboy a lot in earlier strips. oh and lastly, the reason there's only 1 strip reference this chap is cuz again originally part 1 and 2 were gonna be 1 chap and so it was going to be strip reference heavy in the front half and special reference heavy in the second half. 

- Violet is Aurora because well reasons and im tired and will just have to edit and type about that later lol omg. what am i doing bro lol

- OH THE VAMPIRES! vampire aus got popular the last few months for Schrucy and i too was obsessed so that's why i went with vampires lol.

- oh Linus and his christianity lol yea Schulz said Linus represented his spiritual side and well yea he's very spiritual and I decided once again, say it with me, to extrapolate that detail and dial it up to 11. And same with Sally and her hatred for school and the capitalist machine. Girly just wanna chill at home and make a man provide for her and honestly who can blame that lol

- OMG IVE BEEN TYPING SO LONG I FORGOT WE WERE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE DRAFT NOW AHHHH. Ok yea once again, all accurate details. I mentioned last deep dive that if you looked deeper into the life of Schulz you might be spoiled. Same goes for looking into history at this time lol but especially for the months of november and december 1969. Don't do it, you will encounter spoilers. Just lock in and get excited for shit to go down the next chapters lol. But yea holy fuck imagine getting this news.

- Oh and yea the world series was indeed on the day of the moratorium which when I read that I saw that like people were worried at the time for low turn out to protests because people would be distracted by the world series so when I saw that I was like oh yea that def includes Charlie Brown lol. But thankfully irl this did not affect turn out and the protests were massive and the moratorium on november 15th was even bigger and that will be happening next chapter.

- ok im really tired lol i think this is all enough i can always add more later idgaf