whymeiy



Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov is disappearing one day at a time and no one is close enough to notice.

    He goes to practice. He scores. He says he's fine.

    He writes it all down in a notebook his therapist told him to buy, in a house that feels too big and too quiet. Someone will find it eventually.

    He just doesn't expect it to be Shane.

    -

    OR: A Week in Ilya Rozanov’s Journal as he battles with depression. And everything that comes after almost losing your life and having to learn how to live it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,171
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    282
    Kudos:
    1,194
    Bookmarks:
    296
    Hits:
    19,667

    25 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Sobbing. Rip entire box of tissues

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The first thing that people notice when they look at Ilya is the way that the word disappointment carves itself in jagged, angry letters along his jawline. This is not the worst mark he bears—it’s just the most visible.

    (In which the most hurtful things your soulmate has thought about themself appear as words cut into your body. Shane and Ilya find reasons to love each other anyway.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,851
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    88
    Kudos:
    842
    Bookmarks:
    179
    Hits:
    5,389

    25 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I'm sobbing

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Hi, solnyshko.”
    The Russian pet name set a firework off inside Shane's mind as he heard it cooed from behind him. The intonation was just as he remembered, but the voice was much deeper.

    He turned and felt himself short circuit. It took every ounce of willpower to not let his jaw drop cartoonishly to the floor. Shane would recognize his individual features anywhere, even after 5 years. But it was as if someone had snapped their fingers and the smug, silly Russian boy who had been attached to Shane's hip for 3 summers was transformed into some sort of fucking Adonis right before his eyes.

    “Ilya-” was all Shane managed before strong arms were wrapped around his waist and lifting him off the ground in a greeting all too familiar from years ago.

     

    OR
    When Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov spent their summers as teens in an elite hockey camp, they quickly became inseparable friends. But they lose touch when Shane moves on as a prospect for the NHL and Ilya for the KHL.

    Years later, Montreal makes a bold move to take the hottest player in the KHL. After hearing of the Russian's reputation, the Montreal Captain is tasked with keeping his old best friend and new teammate out of trouble.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    112,340
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    2,742
    Kudos:
    10,289
    Bookmarks:
    4,237
    Hits:
    294,661

    24 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Ugghhh they're so cute

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    17,446
    Kudos:
    44,218
    Bookmarks:
    17,243
    Hits:
    2,010,269

    15 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Writing reference, sexy scenes and POV of autism and anxiety.

    Oh my god this could be it's own novel holy fuck it's so funny and angsty and catharsis and how did they churn out 222,222 words in 5 months!? The pacing miraculously is good too

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane's first mistake was going to talk to Ilya Rozanov before their game. His second was immediately, stupidly, meeting the eyes of Rozanov’s very much dead mother hovering at his side.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,348
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    1,787
    Kudos:
    20,306
    Bookmarks:
    5,772
    Hits:
    255,764

    05 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Cute angst