verdancing
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Summary
Hot Rod wonders if he's cursed by something he did in a previous life. Normal mechs don’t have to deal with the slag he gets put through—namely getting stranded on a Quintesson-occupied planet with no means of contacting home, encountering strange, mutilated Cybertronians seemingly built just to kill Quints, and being ordered to babysit said strange, mutilated Cybertronians.
All of this is to say that everything currently wrong with Hot Rod’s life can be attributed to the stray that followed him home: one maybe-empurata victim calling himself “Thunderclash”.
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Before the Kaiju came to Earth, Thunderclash used to dream of being an astronaut, and after the longest two decades of his life, his boyhood dream has somehow come to fruition.
Sure, it’s been a bit more fraught than he’d imagined as a kid—what with him piloting a mecha instead of a rocket, helping giant robotic aliens fight off Kaiju, and dealing with a language barrier that has resulted in said aliens mistaking him for being one of them—but Thunderclash wouldn't give it up for the world.
Besides, with Hot Rod guiding him through these unfamiliar stars, Thunderclash thinks that everything'll turn out fine.
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“If you could cease your incessant squirming—” Minimus starts, grabbing Rodimus by the hips in an attempt to keep him still.
Not that it does anything, obviously. Rodimus keeps grinding down and grinning up at Minimus, taunts spilling past his derma. “Aw, c’mon, I’m not allowed to tease back after all you—”
Abruptly, Rodimus goes very silent and still as something… catches. Minimus’s spike finds purchase and he finally pushes forward.
Not into Rodimus’s valve, but into the tiny waste port set just above it.
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OR: Minimus fucks Rodimus in the wrong hole.
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When the mech crawls closer, everything snaps into place. A long curving spine that doesn’t end in legs, but one long, slithering tail, tall metal fins that flatten back against a smooth frame that wasn’t made for driving or flying, but for swimming. Derma pull back into something that could be a smile or a snarl, and underneath are rows of pointed dentae. Not just the sharp fangs that Deadlock sports, but teeth like sawblades.
“What the frag,” Deadlock breathes out. He sounds rough even to his own audials, and thinks about the effects prolonged water exposure might have on a bot’s vocalizer. Then he thinks about why he’d even ponder such a thing and gets a little sad before shoving the thought aside entirely.
The creature—the mermech—makes a low sonorous noise, dragging itself a little ways closer, optics peering up at Deadlock with unabashed curiosity.
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OR: Deadlock gets thrown overboard, is saved by a mermech, has some truly remarkable sex, and finds love in the big blue. Broadly speaking, anyways.
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“I want you to fuck Drift for me.”
If Rodimus had, say, been sitting up by the bar at Swerve’s, having a nice sip of engex while hearing that sentence, he absolutely would have spat everywhere upon its completion. Maybe fallen off his chair, too.
As it is, despite having no drink to spit nor chair to disembark, he still chokes on nothing, sputtering helplessly at Ratchet’s stone cold serious face.
“I—you—I’m sorry, did—I—” Rodimus finally gives up and simply asks, “What?”
“I want you to fuck Drift for me,” Ratchet repeats, like it’s any more comprehensible a second time around.
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OR: In which Rodimus fucks a married mech that he definitely doesn’t have any romantic feelings for, no siree.
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Let’s Put on a Show for the Folks at Home by verdancing
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types
14 Feb 2026
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Summary
When Arcee, Hot Rod, and Springer wind up in a Decepticon prison block following a mission gone awry, Deadlock is one of the very last mechs they expect to come calling. Well. He's one of the last mechs Arcee and Springer expected to come calling. Hot Rod was all too excited about the possibility that Deadlock might come find him again, even if they've never done this with an audience before. Hopefully, they'd put on a good enough show for the two Autobots.
OR: Deadlock pretends to rape Hot Rod in a prison cell while Arcee and Springer look on in horror.
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“Stop. Stop it,” Arcee hissed, pressed up against the bars separating her from Hot Rod, her half-horrified pleading underscored by the angry growl of Springer’s engine. “Don’t you dare fragging touch him—”
But it wasn’t as if she could do anything to stop him as Deadlock lifted Hot Rod’s head and stuck a thumb into his lax mouth.
“Look at you, pretty thing,” Deadlock murmured, ignoring Arcee entirely. He pulled his digit free a moment later as his panel retracted and his spike pressurized right over Hot Rod’s head. “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with you.”
Frag, but Hot Rod hoped he was lying when he said that.
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In This World, it's Just Us by wreckerdeckerr
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
Welcome aboard, passenger number three.
Ryland Grace now must face his biggest challenge yet: parenthood. It's going to be a long four years to Erid, and he and Rocky are going to have to team up and get creative in raising this tiny human together within the walls of the Hail Mary. Grace is going to have to sort through his own issues-- including painful memories and tricky feelings about his alien best friend-- all while being at the mercy of parenthood, deep space, and their limited supplies.
OR: Grace and Rocky have to figure out how to keep a human baby and themselves alive for four years until Erid. They also happen to be falling stupidly in love the whole time without realizing it.
For more context, please read parts 1 and 2 of this series! Updates every Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday.
Series
- Part 3 of Parting Gift
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On the Teaching of Rodimus by SparkBeat
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
30 Aug 2015
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Summary
Rodimus lets it slip to Rung that despite all the rumors, he's never actually interfaced with anyone.
Rung is more than happy to teach Rodimus a thing or two.
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“His name is Daniel,” said Optimus, weighing Hot Rod’s reactions. “His parents are the humans in the picture here—”
“Carly and Spike, right? Sparkplug mentioned them when you introduced us all after we landed.”
“Yes,” said Optimus, pleased that Hot Rod had not only paid attention, but remembered. It would be good for one of the new crew to be on human duty, to help get them all acclimated with their allies—it might even keep him off the punishment roster for more than a week. “I’ll make sure you’re ARK-side when they come by, they’re very excited to meet ‘the new guys’.”
Sometimes it could be easy to facilitate new friendships. It was nice to be reminded of that.
Series
- Part 1 of a place in your spark
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Dream a Little Dream of Me by Umbreonix
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
Jazz is the sole voice of objection when the Autobots implement a new program: recharge berths that hook up to a central network for nightly medical datalogging.
They proceed with the project anyway and, totally-well-adjusted-and-not-at-all-sociopathic mech that he is, Jazz makes it his sworn duty to ensure that each and every member of high command lives to regret it.
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