three_crows



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  1. Rec *

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    In which the Elrics were Cross's apprentices along with Allen. It's hard to say whether this was more traumatizing for Cross or for the Elrics.

    Ed shifted into a belligerent sprawl and accidentally kicked a shriveled head across the room. This place freaking screamed ‘decorated by Allen Walker.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,555
    Chapters:
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    29 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Cross Marian's guide to raising strange children.

    The kid turned twelve, and Cross went ahead and made him an official apprentice. It felt a lot like resigning himself to his fate.
    The kid, who was getting more uppity every day, asked if this made him the official slave, rather than the unofficial slave.
    Cross shoved him off a balcony to check his reaction time. Pretty good, actually.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,013
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    1/1
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    1
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    113
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    29 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Tim Drake's first order of business, once he finds out who Batman and Robin are, is to figure out to use the massive camera and zoom lens he just got.

    The criminals of Gotham's first order of business, once they see a small kid with an obviously disguised sniper rifle, is to stay the heck out of the way.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,329
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    58
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    1,134
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    255
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    29 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

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    The Joker, mid-sip of his Diet Killer-Coke, blinked at the horde of Jokerized fries staring him down.

    One fry—a particular fry, taller than the others, with a bent, crispy edge like a villainous mustache—stepped forward.

    The leader.

    It pointed a greasy limb at the Joker and screeched:

    IMPOSTER.

    Danny watched, horrified, as the Jokerized fries rushed the booth like a swarm of angry, ketchup-covered piranhas.

    The Joker barely had time to say, “What the f—” before he was tackled under a wave of his own deep-fried doppelgängers.

    Or,

    The food in Batburger comes to life.

    [Inspired by a tumbr post.]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,450
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    1/1
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    4
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    240
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    23 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    this whole collection killed me dead but especially this one!

  5. Rec *

    Summary

    Just a bunch of short unrelated dpxdc one-shots inspired by tumbr posts

    Words:
    65,620
    Works:
    29
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    1,404

    23 Jun 2026