theyoungphoenix



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    If Andrew had met Neil today, at the ripe age of twenty-five, when the dark is just the dark and not a threat, and when he doesn’t need to balance on rooftops to feel things anymore - maybe things would be different.

    Maybe better than okay.

    But he didn’t meet Neil today - he met him seven years ago as Aaron’s new friend, when the word "want" was a foreign body in his mouth, and so things are just okay.

    He is okay, and he is in love with his best friend, who isn't in love with him, and it is okay.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,272
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    28
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    772
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    113
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    26 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 86

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    Andrew, already, could see a lot of his younger self in Olwen. She had hair so blond it was almost white, and an almost entirely blank look on her face. Her eyes were brown, too, though a much, much darker brown than Andrew and Aaron’s. Maybe Olwen got them from her mother. Andrew’s eyes, in the sunlight, sometimes looked more gold than brown, according to Neil’s disgustingly flattering words. Olwen’s were duller and darker, like maybe, at one point, they could have been the same as Andrew’s, but had been stained by the rottenness of humankind.

    -

    After practice one day, Nicky gets a call from a social worker, asking him if he is available to take in one more Minyard—a seven-year-old girl named Olwen, and Andrew and Aaron's half-sister. They take her in without hesitation. It doesn't take long for Andrew to realize he understands Olwen all too much, and Aaron is quickly terrified that he doesn't understand her enough.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,620
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    353
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    6,128

    24 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 8

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    In a world where Janie Smalls was on anti-depressants, Kevin was not allowed to recruit Neil Josten and as such his first year playing for PSU Foxes is relatively quiet.

    They get knocked out by the Trojans in the Spring Championships. The Ravens win the season. And that summer, after Andrew has finished with rehab, Kevin (therefore Andrew, therefore Aaron and Nicky) goes to visit Jeremy in California.

    Jeremy gets clocked. Andrew invites himself in. Jeremy's never been great at turning down guys who don't think much of him. Andrew was pretty sure Jeremy would respect his boundaries, but did not expect to find Jeremy interesting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,257
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    264

    22 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 51

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    Neil swallowed tightly. ‘I think I tried to kill myself last night.’
    Bee’s pause lasted a second longer than it should’ve, her surprise a heavy thing between them, but then she asked, ‘Can you elaborate on what you mean by “I think”?’
    ‘I mean that I don’t remember,’ he repeated, articulating each syllable. ‘I don’t remember what caused it. I don’t remember why I felt the urge. I only realised what I was doing after Andrew tackled me and pinned my wrists so I couldn’t grab the knife. I don’t remember, but I have to.’

    When Neil starts having vivid flashbacks of his time at the Nest during Christmas Break, Andrew urges him to talk to Bee about it. Turns out, his trauma isn't as easily repressed as he thought it would be—and the memories he'd managed to forget will find their way to the surface, whether he wants them to or not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    427
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    51
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    2,917

    22 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Neil knows Andrew deserves to find someone he can plan a future with, and he knows just the thing to help him.

    A love potion, one with such specifications, is one of the hardest things any potion maker can craft. Neil could do it in his sleep, so that’s no longer the quandary.

    Really, it’s whether or not he should.

    He tells himself it's all for Andrew's sake, and not to simply stop the pining ache in his own heart.

    That would just be a bonus...he hopes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,087
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    967
    Bookmarks:
    117
    Hits:
    5,725

    18 Jul 2026