stanxdinaryheroes



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane is unafraid (read: actually terrified) to say people who make out in public are disgusting. This goes for everyone, but it just so happens that he’s caught high-key judging a gay couple.

    Now everyone thinks he’s homophobic.

    Fuck his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,951
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    4,893
    Bookmarks:
    631
    Hits:
    29,568

    30 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Shane Hollander's pubic hair goes viral, the internet colour-matches it to Pantone 15-1214 (Warm Sand), and Ilya Rozanov - creates accounts on Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, Tumblr, AND YouTube to anonymously defend his not-boyfriend's crotch using genetics Wikipedia and advanced hockey analytics.

    Features: a one-star Calvin Klein review ("very poor elastic, ruined my life"), Svetlana and Rose who have never once been wrong, and the most romantic use of the word "melanocytes" in the history of the English language according to Ilya Rozanov.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,506
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,078
    Kudos:
    14,784
    Bookmarks:
    3,666
    Hits:
    147,306

    25 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “I need about five minutes to recover from the scare.” Shane ran a hand through his own hair, heart still jumping.

    Ilya climbed back onto the bed, the mattress sinking under his weight, and slotted himself between Shane’s legs with the naturalness of someone who belonged in that space. His hands found the Canadian’s thighs, pulling him closer.

    “And…” Shane tried to shift focus from his own fright, his mind still processing the last two minutes. “Have I mentioned how sexy you sound speaking Russian?”

    Ilya tilted his head, a slow half-smile spreading across his face. The blue of his eyes darkened a shade.

    “Oh, yeah?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,387
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    1,481
    Bookmarks:
    335
    Hits:
    19,780

    18 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 63

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    Summary

    “What is this?”

    “Oh, just competition."

    “For what?”

    “Goals.”

    “What goals? Shane’s retired.”

    “There are other ways to score.”

    “Please don’t tell me this is a sex thing—”

    “Booo, Pike, get your head out of gutter. This why you have million kids. Sex on brain 24/7.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,711
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    345
    Bookmarks:
    63
    Hits:
    7,517

    18 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The problem was, Ilya couldn’t quite explain it himself. After a few minutes of ruminating, he finally settles on:

    Why do I want to eat my husband?

    Top result: Wife found guilty of cannibalising her husband, remains found in basement

    Ilya frowns down at his screen. Well that wasn’t it. He huffs quietly in frustration, before backspacing and trying again.

    Wanting to squish and bite my husband

    The search lags, and Ilya taps the tips of his thumbs impatiently against the screen, chewing on his bottom lip. Finally the page refreshes.

    Top result: Why boundaries in relationships are important

    Ilya rolls his eyes, on the verge of giving up.

    or

    Ilya has a severe case of cuteness aggression when it comes to his heavily pregnant husband, and he doesn’t quite know what to do about it.

    (+ now with bonus scenes of Shane and Ilya being dads!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,164
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    8,039
    Bookmarks:
    2,109
    Hits:
    147,135

    12 Jun 2026