silentwalrus
Fandoms
Recent works
-
Tags
Summary
The pair of droids doing the decanting rinse and dry the babies straight out of the tube, making sure the weighing isn’t thrown off by any excess clinging fluid, and the clones are fluffy-headed and freshly clothed by the time the padded droid arms set them down in the pen, but it’s like the little bastards are trying to make up for their new totally dry environment by sliming the absolute shab out of everything they touch.
-
Tags
Summary
So it’s not Soap’s fault, is the thing.
He assesses the situation, evaluates the terrain, makes a totally reasonable conclusion. Soldiers die, it happens. Their companions lose the connection, become indistinguishable from any regular animal. But it’s not like they just up and puff into smoke. It usually becomes next of kin’s responsibility, just like anywhere else - the more typical animals get taken to shelters or adopted by the deceased’s family. If your lucky stiff had some rare Left-Spotted Lesser Transylvanian Weasel or something then a conservation org or zoo might happily take it off your hands.
But just as often companions just scarper. Birds fly away, dogs jump a fence, cats skitter off and join the feral colonies hanging around the nearest underpass - but this fucking thing Soap’s nearly stepped in ain’t even making it down the stairs.
So Soap, Christlike in nature as he is, decides to do a good deed this fine evening.
-
come as you are by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
23 Mar 2025
Tags
Summary
Steve comes back to the States. He pursues truth, justice and the American way.
Bucky comes back too. He pursues inebriation and intercourse.Series
-
snipers solve 99% of all problems by silentwalrus
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Feb 2025
Tags
Summary
Ed had thought, after the whole Promised Day, homunculus, entire country harvested for alchemical batteries thing, the batshit quotient of his life would have settled down some. He really ought to have topped out the meter with that one. But no. The bullshit is just getting started.
“Are you fucking kidding me,” Ed demands. “The wizards?”
Podfic & Chinese translation available! See notes
-
Tags
Summary
They have a cash flow problem.
This used to matter less, since being enslaved came with meals, meds, beds, blacks and all the other minor details that keep an army shooting, sleeping and shitting regularly, but now that they’re all basking and broke in the glorious light of their ex-GAR freedom, the average clone has their pockets full of a big fat nothing.
Recent series
-
Summary
Slice of life, only the lives are Ed Elric's and Roy Mustang's. Politics. Violence. Stupidity. A lot of animals. True love(?). And of course like 4 separate instances of fake dating
- Words:
- 220,954
- Works:
- 23
- Bookmarks:
- 1,014
-
- Words:
- 5,871
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 121
-
Summary
Convenience grouping of my little FMA word doodles!
- Words:
- 4,589
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 24
-
- Words:
- 3,106
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 23
-
grapefruit cinematic universe by silentwalrus, teacuplet, tinfigs
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
05 Oct 2020
- Words:
- 4,496
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 66
Recent bookmarks
-
"The Gang Attempts To Teach Murderbot Literally Anything About The Universe" by SamIAm
Fandoms: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
22 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
ART was staring at me mutually. That's not the word I meant—it was the one that it shouldn't have been able to do because it was already its own captain. Anyway, ART was staring at me like it wanted to stage a hostile take over, depose all my c-level executives, and replace them with its own.
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
17 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Thank fuck, I said and showed them both what I was doing as I implemented the code I had written before ever agreeing to do all of this. It instantly reset me to my operating state at a timestamp several days prior, before I had been forced to endure pointless knowledge acquisition. My treasured reserved-for-future-media storage space was back.
-
Tags
Summary
ART fixes up SecUnit after a mission. They are, as always, normal about this, especially because nothing is wrong with any of SecUnit’s systems.
Series
- Part 2 of Pasta Bowl
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,638
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 41
- Kudos:
- 166
- Bookmarks:
- 27
- Hits:
- 1,433
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
15 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Wow, I was still missing an arm. I just had sex (had sex!) with ART (the Asshole Research Transport!) who I was engaged to (marriage!) while missing an arm (…relatively common!).
-
Tags
Summary
“ART,” I managed, voice pitched up just a little. “What are you doing?”
Part of the touch on my chest slid up to cup my jaw. It was— warm. Gentle? It was weird and unexpected and I scooted away until my lower back hit the couch’s armrest, which obviously did nothing. `My beautiful SecUnit,' ART said, and my breath hitched oddly. It’s the malware, Murderbot, it’s the fucking malware. Keep it together. 'You still haven’t realized what’s happening? You still don’t understand what I’m going to do to you?'
---
Or,Oh shit, sex has consequences?
Series
- Part 1 of Pasta Bowl
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 116,990
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 626
- Kudos:
- 547
- Bookmarks:
- 96
- Hits:
- 13,895
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
15 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
ART-iteration pulled all the way out of my mouth and pinged me a smiley-face sigil. Risk assessment tried to hit 200% and instead just hit 100% with feeling.
-
Tags
Summary
I wanted ART to come back online so we could watch Sanctuary Moon episode 412 together and it could argue with me about whether spacetime-fuckery alternate universes counted as canon. I wanted it to come back online so I could tell it Holism put an aquarium in Three's chest and wasn't that totally deranged. I wanted it to come back online so it could bully me into figuring out what my fucking problem was.
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
11 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Three's expression went distant for 0.08 seconds as she scanned the docks through the port cameras. Then she ducked into an angle of ART's hull and started unbuttoning her tunic. I said, "Um."
Ratthi said, "Wow, I love when things get weird." AWESOME FOR YOU, RATTHI!!!
-
The Fucking Hollow Hole Fic 3D: The Unholy Climax by quarter_life_crisis
Fandoms: Bleach
04 Apr 2020
Tags
Summary
Something... aligned. Something unholy.
Series
- Part 3 of The Fucking Hollow Hole Verse
Bookmarked by silentwalrus
29 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
but something about the way the arrancar’s resurrección could be so lethal while looking so dumb - it just made him want to go the extra mile to punch his face in. Ichigo would gladly be the first to say it: Between the headband and the fluffy ears, Grimmjow’s released form looked fucking silly. Even if he was kind of kicking his ass.