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  1. Public Bookmark 63

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    Ilya turns thirty-five

    Language:
    English
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    15 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark 77

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    “Shane you have…you have felt like you just did before in the past, da?” Ilya says softly. Shane hums, looping one of his arms around Ilya’s neck. Ilya takes his free hand, grazing a thumb across the back of it like Shane is something precious. “Shane?”

    “Yeah,” Shane finally says, his voice grating out of his throat like it hurts him to say it. “Yeah, I’ve felt like that before.”

    Ilya immediately feels bad for asking at all, let alone pushing Shane after he’d already given a non-answer. Shane had said it like he was confessing to one of things he’s the most embarrassed about, something that’d made him feel his lowest and most pathetic, and Ilya knows that it’s because that is what this is. It makes him ache.

     

    --or, Ilya sees up close and personal just how much Vegas had affected Shane during his first summer at the cottage, they acknowledge that Vegas was fucked and take steps to prevent it from happening again

    Language:
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    77
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    12 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    06 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander liked rules. Rules meant structure, control in a world where there was usually so little. He lived by the little if-then statements he built in his head to make the world make sense. They served him well, taught him how to navigate this mysterious rulebook of life that everyone but him somehow understood.

    There was comfort in routine. His left skate always went on before his right. He still wore the same nightshirt he’d had since he was nineteen, this raggedy blue thing that now hung off him like a crop-top, but it was soft and light and he couldn’t bear to throw it out. Two eggs and a vegetable smoothie for breakfast. Chicken and broccoli for lunch, salmon and green beans for dinner. Only a beer after a special event, at most five ginger ales a month.

    _________

    An exploration of Shane's eating disorder.

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    27 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane has everything he could ever ask for. A loving family. A devoted husband. The life he'd always dreamed of.

    So why does it feel like his chest is caving in when his mom calls Ilya her favourite?

    Language:
    English
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    27 May 2026