mustardsprite
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Summary
In the wake of a disastrous project, the only thing left for documentarian Astarion Ancunin is an insane job offer. A lone biologist, a research station, and a single shark.
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At least the others could conceivably have meant it when they said they wanted to visit, they missed him, they hoped he was well. Not Gale, he'd been too busy off gallivanting on his goddess's orders. He'd been made a Weave Anchor, according to Shadowheart. Whatever that was, it kept Gale busy, apparently. Astarion was surprised he even found the time to come tonight. He must've been on official Weave business, dropping GP in a pewter bowl in Baldur's Gate.
Well, anyway, Astarion wished a horde of quasits would swoop in and gnaw Gale's face off.
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Astarion was the only thing that had kept Gale alive this long. So Gale felt it was only fair to demand that Tav help them deal with Cazador.
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Gatorland is directly on Highway 441, just north of the Orlando-Kissimmee line, 20 minutes from Walt Disney World and Sea World. Astarion’s there for information, not necessarily connections, but he’d also been told to stay open-minded. Specifically, Cazador had told him to keep an eye out for anyone whose scruples are few.
OR,
Forget it, Jake. It's Gatorland.
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Astarion is enigmatic, difficult to read, closed-off. It's one step forward and two steps back with him, but every time Gale thinks he can't do it anymore, he's pulled by something nameless. He wants nothing more than to get closer.
Continuation of "Burned" and "Deglazed," in which culinary school dropout Gale and lawyer Astarion struggle with the echoes of their pasts.
Series
- Part 3 of You're Fireproof
Recent series
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Summary
In the wake of his dropping out of culinary school, Gale meets a beautiful dickhead of a lawyer at the dog park. He's enchanted by the man, terrified of falling for him, and ravenous to know more about him.
- Words:
- 104,820
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 15
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Being turned into a vampire destroyed Astarion’s film career as well as his faith in others. Now the only gig he can get is in a tacky production of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Starlight Express—Waterdeep’s hottest show on roller skates!
There, he meets the show’s nerdy train consultant, who has a few secrets of his own.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 167,277
- Chapters:
- 23/23
- Comments:
- 1,721
- Kudos:
- 519
- Bookmarks:
- 101
- Hits:
- 15,459
Bookmarked by mustardsprite
22 Oct 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
all time favorites. my favorite marfic. the worldbuilding! the feelings! the sad wetness of astarion!
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like, comment, subscribe by DeHeerKonijn, Roselightfairy
Fandom The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
19 Dec 2023
Summary
A collection of fics that take place in a modern Minas Tirith. Gimli is an architecture professor at Minas Tirith University, Legolas is an influencer-slash-instagram-model-slash-what-do-you-even-do. We follow them and their friends through the ups and downs of daily life in a city where elves and dwarves, hobbits and men are all just trying to get along.
The bulk of this AU exists as fanart - Find me on tumblr and twitter, and sometimes Roselightfairy is kind enough to indulge me by coming over to play in my sandbox. :) You can find her on Ao3 and on tumblr as well. The super fun worldbuilding is more than half her doing, so go check out her stupendous work and give her some love!
Finally, this series is ongoing and is reordered with each addition accordingly - so the narrative is linear, but isn't necessarily updated linearly. Check back to see updates as we slot them into place!
- Words:
- 151,979
- Works:
- 23
- Bookmarks:
- 233
Bookmarked by mustardsprite
13 Aug 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
TBR but i was thrilled to discover this exists
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Bookmarked by mustardsprite
10 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
all-time favorites, hilarious, seedy, expert conversions to AU, the sex i wish wrestlers actually had
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Summary
“I am not eager to throw myself upon another altar for naught but scraps in return.” Gale steels himself with a deep breath. He speaks his peace to the wilds and the cosmos rather than his lover's face. “And yet. Marble skin, silver tongue... eyes like Moonsea rubies. Oh, you cast a fine altar, Astarion.”
With two discerning appetites, a deal to keep each other fed is the one thing that ties Astarion and Gale together. But the proverbial collar slips all too easily around Gale's throat, the lead feels right in Astarion's unchained hands, and both men think they've bested the other in a game neither should be playing.
In any case. As the greats say in lanceboard: there is no shame in losing to a stronger foe.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 93,014
- Chapters:
- 14/?
- Comments:
- 1,345
- Kudos:
- 4,208
- Bookmarks:
- 999
- Hits:
- 110,692
Bookmarked by mustardsprite
30 Dec 2024
Bookmarker's Notes
all-time favorites, awakened something in me, puppy gale, deliciously debauched toxicity