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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    "Why are you not scared?"

    "I am scared," Ilya admits. "I just am tired. Of hiding me. Of hiding you. Of hiding how much I love you. I want to go to the rink— how do you say it? Authenti."

    "Authentically," Shane supplies, automatically.

    "Yes. Authentically. I want to go to the rink authentically, as me," Ilya confirms.

    Ilya looks at Shane, pauses until Shane meets his eyes. "I want to say: I, Ilya Rozanov, love a man, and that man's name is Shane Hollander."

     

    -

    Or, sometimes it takes a little more time, and some courage, to be with the one you love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,933
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    4,611
    Kudos:
    22,553
    Bookmarks:
    10,135
    Hits:
    602,809

    06 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane was twelve when hockey scouts started showing up to his games. He was barely fifteen when a check went horribly wrong, fucked his knee to hell and gave him a grade III concussion. During rehab he found swimming, and he was seventeen when he went to the Olympics as an alternate for freestyle swim events.

    He’s 24 and working for his mom’s sports PR company when he meets Ilya Fucking Rozanov.

    May contain: Shane Hollander navigating what it means to be mostly normal when your whole childhood was about preparing you for greatness. Shane Hollander attempting to flirt. Possibly less than 100% accurate descriptions of what a sports PR agent does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,704
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    1,133
    Kudos:
    1,942
    Bookmarks:
    789
    Hits:
    39,668

    06 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    They have to get out of this fucking bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,750
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    154
    Kudos:
    1,198
    Bookmarks:
    205
    Hits:
    8,720

    01 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane was there when Ilya got the call, his arm heavy across Ilya's stomach, like even in sleep he could tell something was trying to take Ilya away from him.

    When Boston realize Ilya wants out, they send him to the highest bidder. The highest bidder is LA.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    73,866
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2,564
    Kudos:
    3,911
    Bookmarks:
    1,351
    Hits:
    103,041

    20 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,267
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    4,736
    Kudos:
    17,560
    Bookmarks:
    7,525
    Hits:
    545,929

    20 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane’s brain cycled rapidly through a half-dozen celebrities, porn actors, Grindr profiles, every attractive bartender who’d ever served him a beer, trying to find a comparison for this level of outrageously concentrated beauty in one person, but he was drawing a blank.

    The man—Ilya Rozanov, Facilities Attendant, his badge read—gestured around the supply closet. “I help you find something?”

    --
    Canon-divergent AU set during the 2017-18 MLH season. Shane Hollander doesn’t have a single Cup to his name when he meets a very hot and very annoying janitor who works at the Metros stadium.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,862
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    703
    Kudos:
    3,063
    Bookmarks:
    1,087
    Hits:
    26,589

    14 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,339
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,640
    Kudos:
    8,583
    Bookmarks:
    3,859
    Hits:
    207,280

    09 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya widens his eyes, moves his hands in an impatient “get on with it” motion. He has the urge to say it for him, end both their misery. Shane blinks rapidly a few times, takes another deep breath. “I want to stop,” he says simply.

    Ilya lets out one humorless laugh, “Stop what?”

    Shane ignores him. “At the All Star Game, I told you I liked you. And you said about Russia and your family. And I looked some things up. I get it. I get it better now. I know we can’t but I can’t stop wanting to be…more. Unless we stop.”

    OR

    Shane just wants to be friends and Ilya is, like, fine with that or whatever

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,096
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,706
    Kudos:
    4,823
    Bookmarks:
    1,816
    Hits:
    100,583

    03 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    3,049
    Kudos:
    10,038
    Bookmarks:
    4,624
    Hits:
    158,121

    01 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya was nineteen when he moved to the US. Nineteen years of Russia. Over half a decade of Russian summers after that to re-up. His brain, Shane knew, operated in Russian.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    896
    Bookmarks:
    215
    Hits:
    4,725

    28 May 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "I can't, OK? You win."

    "I think you can try harder than that."

    Shane stares up at Ilya and Ilya stares down at Shane, and Shane realizes he's not getting out of this without playing along. There's a challenge in Ilya's eyes, a glint of danger that makes the competitive nerve in Shane's spine itch.

    He takes a deep breath, and tries to break loose. Really tries. Tries to buck Ilya off his lap and tug his arms free. Tries to roll out from under him. Even plants his feet on the mattress to get more leverage but…he can't do it.

    OR; Ilya discovers he might be stronger than Shane. Luckily, this is an incredibly hot discovery for both of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,068
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    180
    Kudos:
    2,631
    Bookmarks:
    650
    Hits:
    17,351

    28 May 2026

  12. Public Bookmark 59

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is leading the stressful but unspectacular life of a doctoral student in the small university town of Tübingen, Germany. His immediate plans include finishing his dissertation in Model Theory, teaching an introductory course in logic, and minding his own business.
    Enter: an arrogant Machine Learning researcher, Ilya Rozanov. A disastrous one-night stand, academic rivalry, and so many misunderstandings follow.

    A bold, Ali Hazelwood-esque academic AU set in a world where hockey, unfortunately, does not exist.

    .

    "You smoke?" a voice asked beside him. Shane turned around, realising he was not alone.
    "No, sorry," Shane answered, feeling slightly foolish.
    The man shrugged, without a smile, and turned away — an unlit cigarette between his fingers.
    "Wait — I have a lighter," Shane corrected himself, now feeling more than foolish, fishing Hayden's lighter from his pocket.
    "So you're a liar?" the stranger asked, amused.
    "No — you made the wrong inference," Shane replied. "It doesn't follow that a person in possession of a lighter smokes."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,370
    Chapters:
    9/12
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    4,299

    16 May 2026

  13. Public Bookmark 22

    Tags
    Summary

    "Shane challenges himself to return the direct eye contact. Okay, a jacked bro with an accent, something Slavic. Huge arms, thick neck, a tank top that seems like a little much for a non-athletic situation, cutaway sides and straps that look spaghetti-thin where they land on his broad shoulders. It would’ve been cool to avoid the exact type of basic jock he spends his whole life around during the season, but you’ve gotta play the hand you’re dealt. And he must be great at what he does if all these people are so enthusiastic about him as a teacher. Shane will give him a chance."

    or

    Shane's on a silent yoga and meditation retreat. Ilya's gonna get him to make some noise.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,301
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1,854

    15 May 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov will not be playing for fucking Ottawa. Yuna won’t allow that. Is it so wrong, to want the best for your son?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,008
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    216
    Kudos:
    2,383
    Bookmarks:
    523
    Hits:
    14,146

    12 May 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya doesn’t say anything. He keeps watching Shane from the doorway. When he speaks, his voice is quiet and he’s looking down at his bare feet. “You said you would stay,” he says. “That is what I remember.”

    In which Shane freaks out but doesn't leave in episode four.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    220
    Kudos:
    3,878
    Bookmarks:
    916
    Hits:
    19,368

    07 May 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Walking back to the restaurant in a daze he had sobbed at random, at the sheer look of Moscow in the night, thinking, this is literally it. I’ll never come back. And maybe he would, but so far down the line that all would be totally unrecognizable. The orange light, the blue light against the snow. His nose running. Cars buried in snow, cars buried in snow.

    Moscow, Shane's cottage, Boston, New York.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    458
    Bookmarks:
    155
    Hits:
    6,446

    30 Apr 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Do you need arms like that, shoulders like that, to play the drums? Surely not.

    Or, Shane gets fucked in a bathroom.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,387
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    235
    Kudos:
    1,741
    Bookmarks:
    259
    Hits:
    8,869

    29 Apr 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya is not going to steal Shane Hollander's dog. That would be illegal. And wrong. And someone would probably find out and make Ilya give him back.

    So. Not stealing.

    But there is nothing wrong with giving Chernysh all the pats and treats that he deserves, is there?

    Nothing wrong with encouraging Chernysh to spend more and more time at Ilya's house until he doesn't even remember who Hollander is.

    Because Hollander is stupid and boring and does not deserve a dog as good as Chernysh. No, he doesn't, does he? Because Chernysh is the best boy in the whole world, yes he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,349
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3,283
    Kudos:
    12,900
    Bookmarks:
    4,972
    Hits:
    182,834

    24 Apr 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov’s opponents would describe him as a brutal savage with a dirty record, known for hitting after the bell’s gone off. Spectators would describe him as a cocky spitfire with the stats to back it up, dollar bills passed around like candy whenever he was in the cage. Commentators would describe him as a barreling force of nature with a promising legacy. Weighing in at a hundred and eighty-five pounds of raw muscle, he was the son of Grigori Rozanov, notorious Russian street fighter, and he pulled no punches, so to speak.

    Shane would describe Ilya Rozanov as a fucking asshole with, admittedly, a pretty clean uppercut. Hardly any of the matches he’d watched him win had lasted the full five minutes.

    *

    AU. Shane first introduces himself to Ilya Rozanov ten minutes before they’re slotted to beat the shit out of each other in front of a live audience. They go together like fire and gasoline.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,342
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    980
    Bookmarks:
    300
    Hits:
    9,743

    23 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    1. yearning in vermont
    2. flat tires in quebec
    3. taking kitchen liberties
    4. yearning in montreal but with hockey
    5. baby's first gay bar
    6. baby's first gay bar, ambitious edition

    this is a repository for sundry one-shots and character studies

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,500
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    539
    Kudos:
    1,171
    Bookmarks:
    275
    Hits:
    21,744

    21 Apr 2026

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