kelestial
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Summary
Ilya picks up on the third ring, breathing heavily into the phone. Shane hears a door slam shut through the device. “Do not yell at me.”
Shane stares at the half-empty bottle of vodka on the coffee table. “You suck.”
“I suck? I scored hat-trick! In your stupid body! I have not eaten in six hours, Hollander. I have not pissed. I have not laid down. I want to go home.”
“Rozanov–”
“Your mother has called twenty times. Your manager has called thirty times. Your father text me picture of crossword puzzle and ask for help. Clue is about American President from the 1980s. I cannot help!”
OR: the hollanov bodyswap fic.
Series
- Part 3 of ejo + hr
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,370
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 770
- Kudos:
- 26,990
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Bookmarked by kelestial
28 Jan 2026
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“Martin, you’re not… Er... You didn't die here, did you?”
“What? No. No, I died in my flat, actually.”
Series
- Part 1 of Patchwork
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 127,979
- Chapters:
- 53/53
- Comments:
- 3,644
- Kudos:
- 4,646
- Bookmarks:
- 864
- Hits:
- 108,322
Bookmarked by kelestial
17 Jun 2024
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Beholding the GDPR: How the Magnus Institute Updated Its Privacy Policy for the Twenty-First Century And Only Caused One Nervous Breakdown In The Process by shinyopals
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
18 May 2020
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I'm sure given your position you already know about the advent of the General Data Protection Regulation next year, wrote Peter Lukas, to Elias Bouchard. However, the Lukas family wishes to be crystal clear that our continued investment is contingent upon the Institute taking its responsibilities with regards to privacy and confidentiality seriously.
The Magnus Institute hires a Data Protection Officer. He sets about diligently booking in meetings, writing policy documents, and training all the staff in the importance of confidentiality. Now if only he could get hold of the Head Archivist, who seems to have vanished again...
(Jon is only trying to save the world, but apparently some people think he should still be doing his day job.)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,821
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 907
- Kudos:
- 6,914
- Bookmarks:
- 1,523
- Hits:
- 59,114
Bookmarked by kelestial
21 Apr 2024
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we should ride this wave to shore by ClarionGlass
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
31 May 2021
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Summary
“archives research & statement envestigation”
Timothy Stoker renamed the group “drinks drinks drinks”
Timothy Stoker changed Sasha James’s nickname to saucy sash
Timothy Stoker changed Martin Blackwood’s nickname to martini kart
Timothy Stoker changed his nickname to stonked
stonked: so how bout it lads
saucy sash: oh god.
A TMA group chat fic where the worst problems they have to deal with start with "h" and end with "angovers"Series
- Part 1 of everything is fine!! chatverse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 163,580
- Chapters:
- 44/44
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 4,872
- Kudos:
- 5,725
- Bookmarks:
- 1,095
- Hits:
- 174,958
Bookmarked by kelestial
19 Apr 2024
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nor any more youth or age than there is now by subcorax
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
08 Feb 2020
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Summary
The local Primary school has a new teacher. He is, to say the very least, odd.
A series of statements regarding the interactions of the townsfolk with one Jonathan Sims, never formally given.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,512
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 664
- Kudos:
- 13,483
- Bookmarks:
- 3,292
- Hits:
- 75,079
Bookmarked by kelestial
17 Apr 2024