ireallydidthistomyself
Fandoms
- Supernatural (TV 2005) (7)
- Glee (TV 2009) (1)
Recent works
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Oh My Love So Early by ireallydidthistomyself for chai_lattes, dannydevito420
Fandoms: Glee
24 Nov 2022
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Kent, England, the mid 13th century. Kurt lives with his father, stepmother, and stepbrother in the small town of Lima. He seldom dreams of more than evenings at church choir, manning the family's forge, and escaping the ire of the local boys. Yet, when the young Lord of Westerville rides into town his life is upended and his desires and ambitions drastically changed.
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Cas had been missing for 6 years and Dean had desperately searched for him, assuming the worst. He had expected to find him tied up and tortured somewhere, not blissfully raising a toddler with enough power to end the world.
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The most remarkable thing about coming home to you by ireallydidthistomyself
Fandoms: Supernatural
25 Jan 2021
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Summary
When he opened the door, he saw Cas’s promise of staying up had also been broken. The television was still on, tuned to TCM, some old movie playing, music swelling through the room. The tv was angled towards the couch, on which Cas was sleeping, sitting upright, his head leaning back in a way that Dean assumed would hurt like a bitch in the morning. Claire was sleeping at his feet, curled up on the floor. Glancing at the two queens, Dean saw Jack curled up on top of one, head at the end of it as if he had fallen asleep still watching the television. He smiled, fond and small. It looked almost like a picture of Gethsemane, the type he remembered Sammy pouring over as a little boy. This, to him, felt far holier.
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And what'll you do now, my darling young one? by ireallydidthistomyself
Fandoms: Supernatural
10 Jan 2021
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Summary
When Dean goes through with his unthinkable plan, Cas is left to raise Jack alone as best he can. As he grows up, Jack begins to ask questions Cas isn't ready to answer.
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"I’m gonna find you Cas, don’t worry. Wherever you are, whatever they’ve done to you, to either of you, it doesn’t matter, I’ll be there soon. I promise, I promise- even if I have to tear heaven apart myself, I don’t care. I’ll do it."
Lucifer never found him and Jack's birth went smoothly and secretly. Cas raised him quietly, carefully, and alone, up in Washington, before the angels found them.
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Famed Hollywood director Artie Abrams invites his bread-and-butter actor to the Abrams Estate for a weekend getaway. Really Blaine, just come chillax. Kurt too, of course.
Bookmarked by ireallydidthistomyself
29 Sep 2022
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A study in learned helplessness, set in the Men of Letters Bunker.
Cas clings hard to what he has, and doesn't think about what he doesn't.
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Truth be told, Castiel has fantasized, still fantasizes about dying like this. He feels it in his bones, in his Grace, this urge, a longing to die for love. Take it, he prays. Let me be what saves you.
Series
- Part 1 of this is gospel
Bookmarked by ireallydidthistomyself
06 Sep 2021
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Dean knows exactly why he’d pulled Cas out of the Empty. It’s not charity. It’s selfishness. He’d made Cas lose his paradise, the version of life the Empty had created for him with his mirage of Dean, just because Dean was too scared to be alone. Dean had promised Cas that he’d pretend for him. He’d said he’d do whatever Cas needed to be as happy here as he’d been in the Empty’s reality. But Dean doesn’t even know how to be the person Cas thinks he is.
Either Cas is lying, or his standards are impossibly low. Cas apparently thought it’d be enough for him just to be near Dean. But that’s not what love should be. It should want something back. Dean’s own feelings are irrelevant. He wants Cas, wants to be someone who deserves him. He can’t have him. He can’t construct a monologue about his reasons for loving Cas like Cas had done for him. He’s pretty sure that holding Cas’s hand would make him combust, after so long subsisting on scraps of shoulder-pats and Cas only touching him to heal him.
Bookmarked by ireallydidthistomyself
03 Jul 2021
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“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
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In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
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Bookmarked by ireallydidthistomyself
29 Jun 2021