insane_is_normal



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Emmy: When did you first hook up with him?
    Jane: 2010
    Caro: WHAT
    Megan: GIRL
    Tia: SEVEN YEARS??
    Megan: My jaw is borderline unhinged rn

    Or: In 2017, Shane finds a place where he can talk about his sex life...a group chat for girls who have slept with Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,618
    Chapters:
    8/12
    Comments:
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    21 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    [Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sit together in a sterile interrogation room. There’s a height chart on the wall behind them, and a harsh light hangs overhead. Next to them on the table is a polygraph machine.]

    Producer: Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander. 

    Shane: Yes.

    Ilya: Yes, those are our names. See how truthful I’m already being?

    Shane: You’re not even hooked up to anything yet. 

    Ilya: I’m just establishing how honest I am before we start. 

    Producer: Well, that’s good because you’re both here to take a lie detector test. The way this works is that one of you will be hooked up to the machine while the other asks questions, and then you’ll switch. Judd [the camera switches to show a man with glasses and stark white hair sitting at the polygraph machine] will be reading your results in real time. Shane, you’ll go first.

    Shane: Goody. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,801
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    227
    Kudos:
    5,903
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    491
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    21,157

    21 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov, captain of the Boston Raiders, has a boyfriend. A definitely real, suspiciously (and boringly) handsome, conveniently offline, consistently unable to meet up in real life boyfriend.

    Who lives in Canada.

    Unfortunately for him, absolutely no one believes him.

    The more serious Ilya gets about his Totally Real Canadian Boyfriend™️, the more concerned his teammates become that someone either needs to call MTV and get him on the next episode of Catfish or that he's slowly losing his mind.

    Shane Hollander is, fortunately, very real, very sarcastic, and increasingly delighted that an entire NHL locker room seems to think that he's a government psyop to distract Ilya from his game.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,633
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    8
    Comments:
    1,278
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    16,906
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    114,783

    20 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Marlow: UHHHH
    Connors: GOOD LORD
    Carmichael: WHAT THE HELL CAP?
    Ilya: Oops
    Ilya: Wrong chat
    Ilya: Obviously
    Ilya: You’re welcome though 😏

    Or: A handful of times Shane and Ilya accidentally send sexts to a group chat, +1 time they sext in a group chat on purpose

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,102
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1,217
    Kudos:
    19,327
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    2,612
    Hits:
    93,844

    20 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    At the end of every practice session Harris hands the Centaurs team a tiny mic and asks them what ever he wants

    Words:
    30,845
    Works:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    157

    19 Jul 2026