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  1. Public Bookmark 10

    Words:
    30,657
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    Bookmarks:
    10

    07 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    But it’s true. David Hollander is normal about hockey. He has a life outside it. He goes to work at the Treasury. He goes on long walks. He volunteers at animal shelters. He puzzles. Well—he works on puzzles? Ilya still is not sure how the verbs work there.

    The point is: David Hollander built a life outside of hockey that was fulfilling—that remains fulfilling. This, in its roundabout way, and though Ilya could never admit it, saves Ilya’s life.

    -x-
    or, a treatise on grief, depression, and chronic suicidality

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,078
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    137
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    1,682
    Bookmarks:
    293
    Hits:
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    07 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Words:
    10,228
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1,666

    07 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    That thought settles into his brain dangerously. Ilya’s been with everyone. Girls. Guys. Others. What's another person on the list?

    If Shane wants experience…

    If he wants to stop feeling behind…

    Why not Ilya?

    Yes, he was a complete asshole that Shane wished he could choke to death sometimes and his brother's childhood bestfriend, but it wouldn’t mean anything. It's for the experience, the education of it all.

    For hockey.

    Obviously.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov has always been Shane Hollander’s older brother’s best friend. He was never supposed to become Shane’s first everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,917
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    1,607
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    12,042
    Bookmarks:
    3,805
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    317,592

    07 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’d made his skin warm all over again, knowing how the bruises had gotten there, thinking about it. Fucking like animals outside because they couldn’t make it indoors, couldn’t wait to get clean before they’d needed each other too badly and nature had run its course.

    Shane’s entire life is control, control, control. This thing—with sweat and teeth and no definable rules, unravels him in a way that he would never have thought to expect.

    .
    .
    .

    Or, revelations on the table and a looming two week timer counting down, Shane and Ilya spend some time navigating intimacy more freely than ever before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,869
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    1,737
    Bookmarks:
    530
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    17,757

    06 Jul 2026