handsinpants



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane really isn't looking for a relationship, which is why having Ilya around is nice. No strings attached, only great sex. It's a win all around.

    The only problem is that Ilya is way, way too nice to Shane's stupid cat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,013
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    747
    Kudos:
    13,439
    Bookmarks:
    3,800
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    21 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,008
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3,537
    Kudos:
    56,199
    Bookmarks:
    16,981
    Hits:
    940,531

    17 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Famed hockey player Shane Hollander is known for many things but his private life is not one of them. He likes to keep it that way because the league is homophobic as hell and he is deeply in the closet. But after overhearing about an escort service, Shane can't help but be curious...

    *****

    AKA : Shane hires an escort to pop his cherry. The escort is named Ilya and Shane's heart is very much in danger.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    776
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    6,492

    06 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,174
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4,171
    Kudos:
    33,512
    Bookmarks:
    14,128
    Hits:
    663,749

    25 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “I’m sorry, but my answer is no. Someone else might be willing to switch if you ask.”

    “I can’t believe—this is unacceptable! I’m going to call the flight attendant over and get this sorted out right now!”

    Flustered and cornered, Shane injects his Captain Voice into the conversation. “Ma’am, I understand that you’re upset, but I paid for this seat and am going to stay here. You’ll have to find someone else willing to change places or just fly with the seat you booked. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you.”

    She hisses like a goddamn tea kettle, and starts to say, “You are the most selfish man I’ve ever—” when another voice behind her says, “You are blocking my seat. Move.”

    Shane and the woman turn to assess the new arrival. It turns out that his seat partner is well above six feet tall, ripped as hell, and knows how to deliver an excellent bitch face. He’s also the hottest man that Shane has ever seen in real life, including a chance run-in with Jensen Ackles at a Stars game.

    Or, still!famous Shane meets non!famous Ilya on a cursed flight from Ottawa to Boston and kind of (totally) falls in love with him at first sight (and first chirp)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,624
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    576
    Kudos:
    19,868
    Bookmarks:
    4,437
    Hits:
    166,788

    15 Mar 2026