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“Are you trying to sleep with me?” House said.
Lisa sighed, funneling her real annoyance into this interaction. She put her elbows on her desk “inadvertently” squishing her breasts together. She knew exactly what it would do to him.
“Isn’t that my line?” She said.
House looked and pointed at her boobs like a child. “That! Your beleaguered sigh is just putting up a front so you can pretend you aren’t drooling for it.”
“You sexually harass me every other day, House. Pointing at my cleavage and arguing with me about it won't help your case.”
...
House and Wilson's toxic homosexual unconsummated situationship had been the hospital's pillar of success for so long. Now that it was in danger of falling apart, Cuddy had to come up with a plan to save the hospital. It was simple, really, all she had to do was make them fuck. Even if that meant she had to fuck them herself.
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Castiel sees Sam's soul, observing its changes over the years as their bond withers and grows.
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no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare for MiaNovak
Fandoms: House M.D.
25 Aug 2020
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House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can't join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson's problem.
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Wilson's shrink thinks he might not be as straight as he always thought.
House is happy to assist him in figuring it out.
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Maybe the reason Wilson lets House spend all his money is because he likes it.
Series
- Part 7 of rskt 2024
- Part 1 of (let me be your) bottom line
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“House has definitely sent Wilson a dick pic or several but he sends them by email because they are both old men and the titles are things like ‘URGENT: please identify if lung cancer’ or ‘patient biopsy results - respond ASAP’ so that Wilson’s guilt complex makes him feel obligated to open each one just in case someone’s life is actually on the line” by Tumblr user wintersnails & this fest inspired me out of a [mumbles] year writing funk. Enjoy!
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“Wilson!” he calls, willing to concede if only to understand what the hell is going on. “You can stop now! You win!”
“Hm?” Wilson reappears in the doorway, knotting some hideously patterned tie. “If this is about the poker game I know you cheated on—”
“This prank,” House says, gesturing all around the apartment. “You got me, you don’t have to—”
But in the action of waving his hand around, his gaze catches on a shiny glint on his finger. He blinks at it. Once, twice. It can’t be.
He’s wearing a wedding ring.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Wilson place his hands on his hips, roll his eyes. There’s a similar band on his left hand, fourth finger—the designated marriage finger. The sight is not unfamiliar to House, what with Wilson’s endless stream of wives, but House has never seen a matching ring on his own hand. Certainly not one that matches Wilson’s.
~
Or, where House wakes up in an alternate universe where he and Wilson are married.
Series
- Part 1 of The Multiverse of Houses
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“Are you having a stroke?” Wilson asks, genuinely alarmed now.
House waves him off. “No, no. Just trying to figure out why, in this charming reality, we’re not having sex.”
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Or, where the "other" House from a universe where he and Wilson are married, gets sent to the canon-typical universe where... they're not.
Series
- Part 2 of The Multiverse of Houses
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United by the commonality of being the scorned ex-wives of two-timing bastard James Wilson, M.D., Sam, Bonnie, and Julie form a bond born from their tumultuous love lives that ends up far surpassing what they ever had with James.
When Gregory House, the man they all agree was the #1 reason for the disintegration of their marriages, shows up to apologize at their bi-monthly luncheon, they strike up a plan for a little well-deserved mischief and meddling to push their ex-husband and his addict-in-recovery best friend into admitting what everyone else has known for years: they’ve been in love with each other all along.
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The door to House’s apartment is unassuming. The paint isn’t chipping, the little plaque declaring it as 221B is in pristine condition. There’s even a welcome mat, which on its own makes Cameron somewhat worried that she might be at the wrong door. House wouldn’t take care of that kind of stuff, wouldn’t care about what the neighbors think.
Still, this is the address listed in his files, and even House wouldn’t lie about something as mundane as place of residence. Probably.
Or: Cameron and Chase break into House's apartment and accidentaly wake up his husband in the process
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“You don’t want to be my girlfriend.”
“I already said that.”
“But you want to be my—my something else?”
Eddie’s breath catches. Her eyes fly open, stinging and damp.
She doesn’t answer. Her throat constricts, trapping breath inside, trapping a response inside. Silently, she prays to a god she’s not sure she believes in that the floor will open up and swallow her whole. She can’t hear him say what she thinks he’s about to say; she can’t hear it, not even once. She can’t come back from that. She just—she can’t.
Buck pushes on, hesitant. “...My boyfriend?”
OR
Eddie doesn’t know how to be the man his heart yearns to be. Buck waits for him to learn.
- Language:
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Bookmarked by fangrrlsing
01 May 2026
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wanna be a boy by kryptonian, https://archiveofourown.org/works/74980776
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“Ravi, I want you to have my fours,” says Buck, before Ravi can start his own turn. All three heads at the table turn to him in incredulous unison, so he adds, “What?”
“That is simply not how the game works,” answers Ravi, dumbfounded. “How do you—are you real?”
“Don’t open that can of worms,” Eddie teases with a shake of his head. “I’m still trying to work that one out, and I was roommates with the guy.”
Barely audible, Hen mutters, “Roommates, he says. Is that what historians will call it?”
or: Eddie has a work wife. Buck has a lot to figure out.
Bookmarked by fangrrlsing
14 Apr 2026
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buck, borrowed, and blue by twoslicetoast, https://archiveofourown.org/works/83045971
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So Wilson was a lesbian, and House was a wretched old man, and the universe was unfair.
Series
- Part 1 of The Heterosexual Agenda
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Three months later, things are mostly back to normal.
And then there's an accident.
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“Did you know that giraffes have the highest incidence of homosexual behaviour? Most of the sexual activity in those species is same-sex. Isn’t that cool?”
Buck is in an alternate universe. Possibly another coma dream.
Eddie is telling him fun facts. Fun facts about homosexuality because apparently Eddie is gay.
Chris sits Buck and Eddie down to tell them that he's okay with them dating - in fact, he's happy about it - just in case they were too scared to tell him. Which, in itself, is a super sweet move from Chris. Very mature.
But Buck and Eddie are not dating.
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a farewell
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Wilson and Chase take a different kind of revenge on House.
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Chintz by plorp
Fandoms: House M.D., His wife has filled his house with chintz - jjbang8 (Photograph)
28 Jan 2024
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“No, no-” House suppressed laughter, then put on a mock-serious face. “The place is nice. Really.”
Wilson rolled his eyes and tried not to let his mouth curl in response. House walked slowly toward the centerpiece of the room - a large three-seater couch in neat, pastel florals. Bonnie had been over the moon when she found it, face beaming with pride.
House seemed at a loss for words.
“It’s chintz,” Wilson prompted.
“Gesundheit.”
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An enlightening talk with Bonnie gives House a map out of the Wilson friend-zone...
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He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t—this. L sits like he’s forgotten that he’s on a chair, like he’s forgotten that there are chairs, so sun-leeched he looks sickly, sleep—lost sleep, that is—condensing under his eyes like printer ink, so fucking easily smudgeable.
“I am L.” He’d said, wide-eyed, like he was seeing right through Light.
or, Light Yagami may think himself a god, but he's 18, too
Bookmarked by fangrrlsing
28 Dec 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
bell theory by s_oybean, https://archiveofourown.org/works/76206706