exceedinglymediocre



Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Ilya has two problems.

    The first is that his best friend is freshly single and needs to get laid. The second is that Ilya is having some weird feelings about it.

    These are completely platonic/straight/heterosexual concerns for his frat bro dude friend, of course.

    (or a college au featuring shane and ilya as best friends, and shane as ilya's bisexual awakening)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,177
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    220
    Kudos:
    1,854
    Bookmarks:
    812
    Hits:
    33,019

    11 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A disastrous team party leaves Shane Hollander with a broken dining table, so he does what any reasonable person would do and hires someone on Task Rabbit to fix it.

    The fixer is Ilya Rozanov: charming, hot, and just enough of an asshole that Shane knows he should probably stay away.

    Yet he keeps finding things around his house that "mysteriously need repairing".

    Or: Shane has a crush on the hot handyman he hired, so he keeps breaking things to see him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,444
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    197
    Kudos:
    1,861
    Bookmarks:
    512
    Hits:
    26,252

    09 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Hi Ilya,

    My name is Shane! I don’t speak Russian, I hope that’s okay. I’m also 25 years old and I love hockey too! So we have some things in common.

    I’ve never written an inmate before. I don’t really know why I’m doing this. I guess I’m lonely. I’m not very good at making friends or dating. I think maybe I can be a bit awkward in person, but I’m good at writing. So I hope that’s okay.

    or Shane Hollander finds Ilya Rozanov on WriteAPrisoner.com and sends him an email.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,477
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2,207
    Kudos:
    17,517
    Bookmarks:
    4,179
    Hits:
    178,556

    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    WELCOME TO THE NAYBORHOOD!!
    i am Shane i am 7 i live in the house with the blue door
    mom said give you a gift so here is drawing!!
    i draw every day almost every day
    do you like drawing?

    Ilya and his family move from Moscow to Ottawa when he is seven years old. The boy next door draws him a welcome gift.

    Or childhood friends Hollanov told through doodles and notes passed between them. Growing up is hard. At least they have each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,693
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    683
    Kudos:
    5,390
    Bookmarks:
    1,020
    Hits:
    49,594

    25 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Penelope (Dill)
    Omg get on with it, Cass!

    Cassie (Bood)
    Thank you
    Now, we must behave ourselves, ladies
    We have royalty in our midst

    Arden (Pointy)
    What the hell are you on about, Cassie?

    Cassie (Bood) has added Jane (Rozy) to the conversation

    Jane (Rozy)
    Uhh
    What is this?
    ______________
    or; "Jane" gets added to the Ottawa WAGs chat after Ilya drunkenly tells his teammates about "her"
    or or; Shane Hollander in his WAG era

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,389
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    416
    Kudos:
    3,818
    Bookmarks:
    871
    Hits:
    65,982

    22 Jun 2026