caladria
Fandoms
- Our Flag Means Death (TV) (34)
- Torchwood (9)
- Stargate SG-1 (6)
- The West Wing (1)
- Discworld - Terry Pratchett (1)
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Summary
"Do the voice," she hears him ask.
"Man, oh man," Jim says. It's squeaky. It's high. It's not anything Archie's ever heard from them. "Do I wish I was a real person."
And Archie looks up at that, because they're laughing. Not a hysterical laugh. Not the kind that you give when you're pissed out of your skull and you're trying to forget the horrors.
It feels real.
There isn't much in this fucking life that feels real.
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Summary
He'd not said anything, when they went for lunch in the museum cafe. When Izzy had looked through the sandwiches on display, discarding one after the other. Hummus in that one, horrible squishy texture against the bread. Tomato against lettuce in that one, sliminess against flaccid, stringy green.
"What about the ham and cheese?" Bonnet suggests. He's trying to be helpful, Izzy knows. It doesn't make it better. It just makes his stomach clench uncomfortably when he sees the mayonnaise dressing.
Sometimes he's okay with mayonnaise. Sometimes he can stomach it, ignore the weird tang of it as it slides across his tongue and sticks there with its aftertaste.
And sometimes he's not okay, but he'll go along with things so that Ed doesn't get mad at him, so that Stede doesn't hate him. He'll force things down his throat and keep quiet and just tolerate things, because he just has to tolerate things doesn't he?
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Summary
He's perfect.
He's… off.
Not a lot. He still responds eagerly when Ed presses him against the wall every time they've been separated, laughing and protesting that he's only been grocery shopping even as he's fiddling with Ed's belt; he still twines his legs with Ed's every night as their kisses get heated and bodyweight settles over bodyweight. He still wakes up as Ed trails fingers up his thigh the morning afterwards, eager to have him before they part for work. Ed still never goes more than twelve hours without getting what he needs.
But still.
There's something. He stares into the middle distance, sometimes, as if deep in thought. He brushes Ed's prodding away with a casual dismissal.
And Ed doesn't know what that something is.
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If It Makes A Difference by caladria, hideplueshi for Dracothelizard
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
20 Jan 2026
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Summary
Now he's seen it, it's hard not to see it.
The hunch of the shoulders. The way that he's not looking directly into the sun. The way that he pauses, looks away. The way that now Roach thinks about it, he's looked like that since he came back with Stede.
When Blackbeard thinks no-one is looking, he puts his hand to his head, presses his fingers into his temple.
And it makes sense, after what's happened. After what his crew did to him. Blows to the head linger. Sometimes they go bad long after the injury.
Roach observes Blackbeard after the fact, and perhaps the healing begins
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Summary
They fuck. They suck. Ed ruts against Stede's thigh, begging to come until Stede touches him.
It's perfect.
It's everything a relationship should be.
Ed is insatiable for Stede.
(Stede hates it)
Series
- Part 2 of Barrier
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- 14,458
- Works:
- 2
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- Words:
- 66,465
- Works:
- 2
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Summary
“Look.” Ed says, pointing forwards, stacks of clouds close to the orange sun. “See. What does that mean?”
“I— why are you asking me?” Stede huffs, near a laugh.
“Because, captain, this is your quiz. Taught you all this shit ages ago. Now—”
Ed takes Stede’s hand in his own, and lifts it to point to their left to a wide band of near lavender clouds, radiating outwards in candy-floss pufts.
“Is that good or bad?” Ed asks.
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or, a morning spent together aboard the revenge.
Bookmarked by caladria
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede's hands aren't healed yet, but he and Ed still manage to have a lot of very good sex. Featuring lots of firsts for Stede Bonnet, who still can't use his hands, but can use his mouth and his ass. And use them he does. (Or rather, Ed does.)
Series
- Part 2 of Palmistry
Bookmarked by caladria
23 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede and Ed have just declared their co-captaincy. Although Ed has been training Stede in combat, Stede's first real raid doesn't go so well: he narrowly avoids dying in a sword fight, during which his hands are badly injured. After Roach sews Stede up, he informs him that he can't use his hands for at least a week, if not 10 days. To Stede's surprise, Ed offers (with a secret, ulterior motive) to help Stede with things while his hands heal: dressing and undressing, eating, drinking, washing up.
And, eventually, with... one other thing.
This is your classic Good Buddy Lends a Hand™ (Patent Pending) trope, y'all, in which someone breaks their arm or hurts their hands and can't jerk off and their Good Buddy has to help.
Series
- Part 1 of Palmistry
Bookmarked by caladria
23 Jun 2026
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Summary
Stede Bonnet, MSW, has been a social worker for a long time. Filling the forms, signing the papers... it's ineffective and out of touch, sure, but that's just the way things are done.
Then he tries something new.
"Just look at them, wandering into the catering tent without protection!” Stede knows he's getting a bit huffy, but really now. They've got condoms right here, free of charge, and no one seems to care much. It's just negligent!
“Oh, you mean the fuckin' and suckin' tent?” Ed contributes as if that isn't one of the most embarrassing phrases Stede's ever heard. “Yeah.”
“Yes! We've all these supplies right here and they're just— I mean look at them!” Stede gestures to the scene before them. Two strangers walk past their booth to join the bodies in the tent, cocks in hands. “They could at least stop by?” Stede calls, tilting his head to aim the complaint in their direction.
Ed laughs again, pushing himself off the wall with a nonchalance that, really, is quite hot given the circumstances. “Just not how it works, man. They'll come if they want them. Can't force it.”
“Can't force it,” Stede repeats under his breath. “Well, has anyone tried?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 40,526
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 185
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- 208
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Bookmarked by caladria
10 May 2026
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Summary
A Ouizzy Pride & Prejudice AU
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an unmated alpha in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of an omega, but no one ever stopped to consider whether an unmated omega must in turn be in want of an alpha.
Frenchie is grateful for the position granted to him at Bonnet House. He’s found security and friendship, which are hard to find as an unmarried omega with no family. He wants to keep Bonnet House safe, but that safety is threatened when Stede falls for Edward Teach, a self-made alpha new to the neighborhood. He brings his friend Izzy Hands along with him, who Frenchie finds to be the most aggravating man he has ever met.
Bookmarked by caladria
28 Apr 2026