beetletooth
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
The owl squeezed itself through the rusting bars of his Azkaban cell and flew to the ground, hooting in triumph and waddling around on the dusty floor. Draco grasped the owl gently in his fist to still it, then withdrew the letter from the mail bag.
His heart thudded. Who was contacting him? His mother? Pansy? Not one of the Death Eaters, surely?
Then he unrolled the page and let out a disbelieving huff.
It was a fucking survey.
Well. They wanted a response? He’d give them one.
- On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 4 (very), how clean are Azkaban’s facilities? — Fuck you
- On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 4 (very), how humane has your treatment been at Azkaban? — Fuck this
- Any additional comments? — Fuck off
P.S. Your owl is insane
—
In which a well-meaning researcher, Hermione Granger, runs a study without realizing who Participant 1 is.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,082
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 370
- Kudos:
- 1,909
- Bookmarks:
- 405
- Hits:
- 22,240
Bookmarked by beetletooth
24 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
This fic was written as part of Trick or Treat Gift Exchange hosted by AdaLovelaced and FaeOrabel. This fic is for AloYrrehc and my prompt was:
A: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon
B: i'm the knife
C (from another room) THEY'RE THE LITTLE SPOON
Enjoy some silly fluff!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,041
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 33
- Kudos:
- 599
- Bookmarks:
- 61
- Hits:
- 4,235
Bookmarked by beetletooth
24 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Hermione Granger needs a refuge and she finds it in a sweet coffeeshop owned by an elderly woman with a vast array of tea and delectable pastries. Only Hermione isn't prepared to learn who exactly is baking the treats providing her solace. An ode to tea, pastries, and the magic of a coffeeshop. Yes, it's a trope, and we love it!
Did you want Draco Malfoy sporting a man-bun while baking delectable pastries that melt the Golden Girl's heart? Of course you did.
(written for DFW's Trope Fest...hence the trope)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 89
- Kudos:
- 837
- Bookmarks:
- 158
- Hits:
- 7,548
Bookmarked by beetletooth
24 Jun 2026
-
The Magic of Macarons by itscometothis for floorcoaster
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Nov 2022
Tags
Summary
Hermione vaguely considers murdering her deskmate on a daily basis. This time it's because he steals her macarons.
But when something more serious causes her to move beyond their banter, she'll find more than she bargained for out of Draco Malfoy.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,210
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 696
- Bookmarks:
- 112
- Hits:
- 4,767
Bookmarked by beetletooth
24 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Draco Malfoy thought he had reasonable expectations for his mandatory Eighth Year at Hogwarts, where he would be confined to the grounds as part of his probation. Isolation, hatred, and passing his NEWTs were really all he had in mind.
What he wasn't anticipating:
1) Having a small firstie latch onto him like a bloody koala
2) Said firstie adopting an erkling as if they didn’t feed on children.To protect his little nuisance, he’ll have to seek help from uncomfortable places, including the Swottiest Witch of Her Age. Joy of all joys.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,035
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 37
- Comments:
- 1,715
- Kudos:
- 12,672
- Bookmarks:
- 4,730
- Hits:
- 317,995
Bookmarked by beetletooth
24 Jun 2026