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"Like you'd be any better than me when faced with a hot fireman acting all adorable over your cats to a sickening degree. Acting all suave in his gear. I don't believe that anyone has ever been able to resist a man in uniform. Ask anybody! It's like, definitively the most common turn on in the entire world. It's science."
"No, our job that we are supposed to be doing right now is science." Gem snatched the clipboard from his hands. "Your turn. And I've seen plenty of firefighters in my life and even in uniform big, beefy, muscle-head guys are not my type."
"I don't know Gem. I think if you'd have seen him you would tell me I'm right."
"Not in a million years," she sighed, "now please just do your job."
- or -
Gem meets Pearl and realizes maybe she does have a thing for firefighters actually.
Or at least just the one.Bookmarked by bcschauer
18 Jul 2026
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Abolish had never given much thought to worries of gender or sexuality. For one, sex was the least of his worries; he had neither the time or the will for that. For two, he had a job to do, and that alone kept him occupied enough that he didn't have time to think about meaningless things.
Shelby, however, very much had the time to think about it. And she had a feeling there was more to Abolish than met the eye.
based on a sweet little imagine by areafae on tumblr, what if Shelby clocks Abolish's ass so hard it makes him realize that maybe he's not cis-straight?
Series
- Part 1 of What if's 'verse
Bookmarked by bcschauer
13 Jul 2026
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“You will be infiltrating the ball, gathering what intelligence you can, taking out any targets you can get away with,” he said, lowering the cup. It was placed carefully onto a leather coaster, as to not mar the table. “You won’t be working alone, however.”
Abolish pursed his lips in order to stop the instinctual protest. As a rule, Abolish worked best on his own. Other people made things… messy. If Oakhurst could prove anything, it could prove that.
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Six months after the events of Oakhurst, Abolish is sent to infiltrate a ball for the vampiric nobility. Only, he’d be accompanied by the noblest vampire of them all.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
11 Jul 2026
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Scott was crying. Displaying sadness in that strange way that never quite met his eyes. Jimmy could tell he wished he wasn't. But he couldn't fake it this time, no matter how much he wanted to.
“No.” Jimmy closed the distance between them. He reached out to Scott, faint, ghostly hands moving upwards to cup his face. “No, no, no, no, no—“
Scott couldn't feel him. He had no idea Jimmy was there, trying to calm him, to comfort him, to tell him he wasn't alone.
“God— I’ve been trying, and trying not to think about him." Scott forced the words out through wet heaves. "Day and night I try to shut my thoughts up by doing something—anything—but, I just-“
Jimmy held his breath as Scott's eyes trailed upward to meet his own. For one brief moment, he could almost convince himself that Scott was speaking directly to him. But he knew it was a lie. He knew Scott was looking right through him.
“I miss him…”
What kind of sick nightmare was this?
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Or, instead of spending the remainder of Trust Life in the void, Jimmy chooses to spectate as a ghost for the first time. It is somehow the best, and worst decision he's ever made in his life.Series
- Part 3 of Trust Life Collection Series
Bookmarked by bcschauer
28 Jun 2026
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The rest of the world may as well not exist for all he would notice, as Pyro turns at the sound of Aurora and locks eyes with Scott.
He looked... there were dark shadows below his eyes, partially blocked by his tangled hair. Their already lithe frame had crossed the line into worryingly thin. His clothes, usually well maintained (aside from the occasional scorchmark), were ratty and torn, the red color Scott knew they usually held barely visible under the grime, and he looked so, so tired.
Despite all that, he was the most beautiful sight Scott had ever seen.
~~
Pyro (and Maddy) gets rescued while Scott is off curing Aurora of her heat sickness, and they have a very emotional reunion on his return.Series
- Part 3 of Nugget's The Flight fics
Bookmarked by bcschauer
25 Jun 2026
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“I wish you’d been my sire. You’re not so… distracted.” Pyro admitted, imagining it. Owen wouldn’t treasure him, he wouldn’t expect that. But Owen didn’t feel anything towards anyone, there would be no one for him to be jealous of.
The long haired vampire paused. “I would’ve ignored you. And I would’ve hated being called a sire.” Owen picked up a stick, breaking it into little pieces as he spoke.
Pyro couldn’t help imagining himself as that stick, fractured and tiny in someone else’s palms.
“You’d have at least let me be free, instead of making me some kind of unwanted servant”
or
Exhausted from fighting for his sire’s attention, Pyro finds their way to Owen.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
21 Jun 2026
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“Scott…” Pyro choked out, feeling the unnatural swell of arousal build up in his gut, “What- what was in that healing stew you gave me?”
“Umm, I just used the regular flowers I use for healing; daisies and-” the mage paused, eyes widening as he found a bouquet of very different flowers than what he was supposed to be carrying. Oh sweet goddess…Scott attempts to fix a problem he accidentally caused for the sweet orc who saved his life, and they both might have a better time than they had thought.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,754
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 158
- Bookmarks:
- 11
- Hits:
- 1,696
Bookmarked by bcschauer
19 Jun 2026
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Closer like this, Scott can… appreciate the details of Pyro's looks. Shaggy brown hair falls across his shoulders, much unlike the usual, when they put it in a small ponytail. A mole sits at the corner of his mouth, and piercing, ironically ice-cold eyes like the mountain sky stare out into space.
He looks absurdly pretty. Scott wants to kiss him.
Scott is almost knocked out of breath by the thought. It's insane, and terrible, and exciting. Fuck.
OR: Scott is observing the castle at night, and is soon joined by Pyro.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
17 Jun 2026
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When Scott says that the cold doesn't bother him, he does mean it. He's used to the cold, and he far prefers it to the heat. Working under the sun, sweating, uncomfortable hotness; he'll take the cold any day.
It's just that the ice magic that has awakened within him is extremely cold. All of the time. No matter what he does.
It seems like Pyro has the opposite issue. Perhaps they can solve each other's problems.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,686
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 507
- Bookmarks:
- 39
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Bookmarked by bcschauer
17 Jun 2026
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After the talk about the corruption in Tegrith, Pyro went to Scott’s room to sort the guilt that’s been gnawing at his conscience.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
16 Jun 2026
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Scott couldn't say why exactly he decided to start messing with Pyro, but somewhere along the way he decided that if he couldn't forget then he'd make that Pyro's problem, and there was one very specific thing that he remembered.
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Scott teases Pyro until they snap and the two of them try out a new way to work through their emotions.Bookmarked by bcschauer
16 Jun 2026
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Pyro Dagmeare and Scott Borealith haven't seen each other in eight long, long years. Running into each other again at the Academy is completely unexpected. Pyro would've never expected Scott to be here, as set in his ways as he was. With a frosty reintroduction behind them, they get into a massive argument; an argument that reveals new abilities, and revives old feelings thought long dead.
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Or: a retelling of That argument from Day 2.
Series
- Part 1 of Flights and Fools
Bookmarked by bcschauer
16 Jun 2026
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Kiss and Tell by Mitos (SeriouslyCalamitous)
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
28 May 2026
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“The only way to truly know that kissing isn’t for me would be to test it.” Grian propped his head on his hand, mulling it over absently. “Specifically, with someone who’s known to not be a bad kisser.”
His roommate tensed.
Grian raised a brow. “Is something the matter?”
At the sound of his voice, a small change crossed Scar’s face. He relaxed a bit, mouth pulling into a polite smile. “Well, if a good kisser is all you need,” Scar said. “I’ve never gotten any complaints.”
- or -
After a couple bad experiences, Grian's fairly sure kissing isn't something he enjoys. Scar seeks to change that.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
29 May 2026
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No longer a danger by 00_StarSailor_00 for Roefyn
Fandoms: Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series, Hermitcraft SMP
24 May 2026
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He should have know it would happen, eventually. He was discovered, unmasked as a Watcher and sent away for the safety of the server. All of those living in Hermitcraft had any memories of him wiped, save a little ache in a soulmate's chest.
Now he watches, and protects, and yearns.
Title is from "Graceland Too" by Phoebe Bridgers.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
25 May 2026
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!!!!!THIS IS NOT OMEGAVERSE!!!!!
!!!!!ITS CUTE AND FLUFFY I PROMISE!!!!!Grian tilted his head slightly tracing the line of Scar's jaw with his thumb and letting the other man bend him backwards as the kiss depend. It was a beautiful harmony, just the two of them and the sound of the heavy rain.
After a while, and it was a while indeed, Grian pulled away and buried his head into the crook of Scars neck. His heavy breaths were hot against Scars bare chest. Could any moment be as perfect as this? Could anything rival having someone so close to you like this?
OR:
After a long day of Fishing Grian calls up his favorite guy, after all nobody would pass up the opportunity to spend a night in the the horde of pillows and blankets that Grian calls a bed.
Bookmarked by bcschauer
19 May 2026
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And there was working for someone so famous too. That could be a good or bad thing but being assigned to his all time favorite artist, and for such a long tour no less, was a dream come true.
He'd worked for her for a quick show before and they'd gotten a little more acquainted than they maybe should've. He'd been scheduled to her shows a lot more since then. He wondered if she'd been requesting him.
or
Scar the roadie gets called back to 'help out' Ariana Griande
Series
- Part 6 of mc smut
Bookmarked by bcschauer
05 May 2026
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Louis lived with humans almost his entire life. He was betrayed by his town, but he's given a second chance two hundred years later. But these new Vampires have scared Oakhurst half to death, and the town is threatening war on them in return. Can Louis take control of the coven and show them what he knows is real, that peace is possible, and more importantly,
Where are his fledglings, and who is this handsome doctor?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,579
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7
- Kudos:
- 234
- Bookmarks:
- 16
- Hits:
- 1,449
Bookmarked by bcschauer
02 May 2026
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Various bonus short scenes from The Consequences of Years universe that I didn't feel required their own separate fics.
Series
- Part 7 of The Consequences of Years
Bookmarked by bcschauer
20 Apr 2026
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Second-Hand Spies by Mitos (SeriouslyCalamitous)
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP, Life Series | 3rd Life SMP Series
26 Feb 2026
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To be clear, it was a favor forged out of mutual interest. Either side had something to gain from this deal. There were zero other reasons why Scar might’ve accepted Grian’s invitation without really considering it. Zero.
It didn’t matter that Scar had been too distracted by Grian’s mischievous grin to catch his question at first. It didn’t matter that his stomach had practically launched into his throat when the words actually did register. It didn’t matter that they were the same ones he’d fantasized about hearing for the better part of two years now.
“Scar,” Grian had said, dangerously earnest. “Go on a date with me.”
- or -
Scar agrees to Grian's invitation to spy on Tango and Jimmy's date. Surely, there's no way spending Valentine's Day pretending to date his best friend will dredge up any underlying affection though, right?
Bookmarked by bcschauer
15 Apr 2026
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“Think about it,” Sausage prompted. “What is the number one reason why you wouldn’t pursue someone?”
“Uh,” Apo thought about it. “Because it would distract me from my mission of protecting the princess?”
Gently, the mage patted the back of Apo’s hand, as if soothing someone after a great loss. “I was hoping you would say, ‘because they’re already taken,’ but everybody’s different.”
“Well, yeah, of course,” Apo scoffed, yanking away. “A person that already has a partner couldn’t even be considered—”
She went still.
“No,” she whispered. “No, there’s no way you’re suggesting that.”
- or -
Fearful that Cherri might draw the attention of unfit suitors during their stay in Bannerfall, Apo decides to spread some harmless rumors. After all, who would go after a princess that was already in a committed relationship?
Bookmarked by bcschauer
15 Apr 2026