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  1. Public Bookmark 60

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    After a hunt goes wrong, Dean comes home with blood on his hands and grief gnawing at his chest. He failed to save someone, again, and the guilt threatens to drown him. Castiel finds him spiraling in the dark, locked away with a bottle and a silence he can’t outrun.

    What begins as quiet comfort slowly becomes something more. Castiel stays, not to fix Dean, but to hold him through the weight of it. And when Dean finally lets himself be touched, it’s not just about pleasure. It’s about being seen, being loved, and maybe, finally, believing he deserves it.

    Angst melts into tenderness. Grief becomes comfort. And through it all, Castiel never stops holding him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,669
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    421
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    3,295

    21 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    BAM! Cas is back! Yep, just like that. Thanks Jack.

    Dean Winchester is basically a functional mute with more issues than the Impala has miles on it. The wordless man needs to tell Castiel he loves him too - so he hatches a brilliant plan.

    Operation: Lie Your Ass Off For The Greater Good.

    What's the worst that could happen?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    181
    Kudos:
    1,207
    Bookmarks:
    271
    Hits:
    17,909

    13 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Sam put his hands up slightly, trying to diffuse some of the tension. "It's him. I've run him through every test we know how to do."

    "No, Sam. It's just Lucifer." Dean closed his eyes. "It's just a dream."

    Sam's face scrunched. "No Dean, it's not."

    "It always is." Dean waited. Every night he has the nightmare. He gets the call and goes running. He's on a case and he sees him. A hundred variations on getting Cas back, and it's always Lucifer.

    "Not this time."

    (Way #1 the finale could have been better)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,961
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    1,168
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    6,854

    10 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Daddy’s blunt little instrument.

    It’s all he had ever known because it’s all he was ever shown. He was only as good as his last kill. His worth came from his ability to take care of Sam. He existed to take care of others. And Dean had been okay with that, or at least he thought he had been.

    Everything changed for Dean when he met Castiel. And everything changed again with the love that came from knowing Castiel.

     

    or: loving deeply gives you strength. being deeply loved gives you courage.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,005
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    623
    Bookmarks:
    209
    Hits:
    10,796

    10 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Dean wakes up one day to find himself living a happy, apple-pie life with Cas, with no clue of how he got there, and no idea how to get back to his own reality. Just when he finally accepts that he might be stuck there, and that maybe being stuck doing life with Cas is what he might actually want, Dean is dragged back to real life only to discover it was all just a djinn-induced dream.

    Having gotten a taste of what life with Cas could really be like, Dean can't cope with their 'just friends' status anymore, but he doesn't know how to approach Cas about it, especially since the former-angel has been unusually standoffish and reserved these last few months.

    Will Dean find a way to confess his feelings and go after the one thing he really wants?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,923
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    281
    Kudos:
    1,044
    Bookmarks:
    268
    Hits:
    19,571

    09 Jul 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Canon-divergent from 12.08

    After Sam and Dean are arrested, Castiel is left alone and scrambling to find them. He knows they’re locked away in a government facility, and he’s still able to hear their prayers, but no matter how he tries Castiel can’t seem to track them. He chases leads and even attempts to hunt on his own, but Mary is AWOL, Crowley refuses to help, and Castiel’s options are running out.

    Weeks pass, Castiel’s hope dwindles, and through it all Dean prays, keeping them connected. His voice is comforting, frustrating, and occasionally annoying, but in his solitude Castiel comes to cherish it. But then one day, without warning, Dean stops praying, and Castiel is forced to confront some uncomfortable truths about his feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,922
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    334
    Kudos:
    3,493
    Bookmarks:
    1,125
    Hits:
    45,051

    09 Jul 2026

  7. Public Bookmark 82

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    Summary

    Everything Castiel is, everything he’s made of, is hitched to a thin golden string attached to Dean Winchester’s soul, tugging him closer, begging him to let them collide.

    He recalls Aristophanes’ story of creation; the one in which humans were split in two as a divine punishment, forever in search of their other half.

    Cas is not human, but he understands the sentiment.

    _____

     
    In which Dean is finally in a world without impending catastrophe, but it's also a world without Cas. He spends all day fighting not to think about it, and at night, his sleep is haunted by grief.

    But then his dreams start to feel more and more real, and no grave can hold Cas down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    104,795
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    140
    Kudos:
    237
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    4,089

    09 Jul 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When did it get so dark? Dean can’t even begin to guess how much time has passed. The world stopped the moment the light inside Castiel had gone out for good.

    He remembers sitting there on his knees, in complete shock and denial, for a long time before reality collided with him, far sooner than he ever would've expected it to. Far sooner than it ever has.

    And suddenly, just like that, all the pain had unraveled from him in a huge, revolting tangle, and he couldn't get it back in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,450
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    758
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    12,982

    06 Jul 2026

  9. Public Bookmark 91

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    Summary

    On paper, Cas Milton is a disaster. Four years ago, he attempted to take his own life, and his medical record is riddled with hospital stays, therapy appointments, and prescriptions.

    But you can't always trust a piece of paper--because off the record, Cas has spent the past four years trying to learn how to live the life he's been given. Now a junior in college, he's aided by his two best friends, Dean and Meg, who he met in a grief support group freshman year, and between first dates, movie nights, conversations with his therapist, and, of course, going to class, it seems like maybe he's starting to get a handle on things.

    There's more to his relationship with Dean than meets the eye, though, and a trip to visit Dean's family leads to a kiss and changes everything. Will Cas finally reach out and take something for himself in life, or is he destined to never actually start living?

    And will he only make the decision when it might be too late?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,570
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    343
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    4,166

    06 Jul 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Cas is twenty-seven, depressed, and at the end of his rope. After many years of contemplating suicide, he decides it’s finally time to pull the literal trigger. But Cas is scared. He knows he needs encouragement, peer pressure to push himself off the edge of the cliff, so he finds a partner online.

    Dean Winchester is a guy that Cas only knows in passing. He’s charming, bold, and absolutely the last person Cas expected for a suicide partner. But he’ll do.

    A story about Dean and Cas falling in love with each other, and with life itself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,628
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    139
    Kudos:
    734
    Bookmarks:
    278
    Hits:
    10,158

    06 Jul 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Cas dies and Dean starts referring to himself as a widower. This is somewhat confusing for everyone involved.

    (Inspired by *that* tumblr post; linked in notes)

    (Canon MCD not tagged because it's temporary)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,988
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    354
    Kudos:
    4,588
    Bookmarks:
    1,388
    Hits:
    37,830

    06 Jul 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Dean has no idea what he did to deserve it, but something so bigger and worthier and holier than him found him between the flames of hell and molded him back into himself. Took his bleeding hands and knit the skin back together like Dean was deserving of it. His arms and legs and chest and throat—every inch of him—has known Cas’s touch. The angel had sewn him back together enough times that somewhere along the line, angel grace replaced dental floss, and Dean has never been the same.

    Now that it’s done and it’s over, the chasm in his gut eats itself raw.

    ***

    A little something about kitchen table conversations, and grief and love going hand in hand.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,891
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    566
    Bookmarks:
    120
    Hits:
    5,177

    06 Jul 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Castiel is resurrected from The Empty. While Dean is recovering from casting the spell that brought him back, Cas checks his voicemail.

    Turns out, they both just might be able to say what it is they want.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,405
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    286
    Kudos:
    1,601
    Bookmarks:
    493
    Hits:
    19,002

    06 Jul 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “You saved me,” Cas says.

    Dean wants to crawl inside that low rumble of a voice and curl up there forever. Delirious, he says, “Yes.”

    Then Cas says, “You kissed me.”

    Dean swallows. “And?”

    Cas kisses him. Something burns at the hem of Dean’s shirt and his eyelashes flutter darker and it’s much, much later when he realizes he’d felt a spark from the lightbulbs blowing out.

    *

    Dean barely talks since Cas died. Even once they save him, it's too damn hard. In which fucked up coping styles leave both Cas and Dean convinced the other doesn't really love them. Cas thinks Dean is offering to sleep with him out of the goodness of his heart, or so Cas won't leave. Dean is trying to be less of a dick and ends up crying all the time. Cas just wants Dean to let him be the big spoon. They get to heal and be in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,096
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    2,006
    Bookmarks:
    363
    Hits:
    27,948

    05 Jul 2026

  15. Public Bookmark 72

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    Summary

    “Mind you, the vast majority of Enochian doesn’t directly translate into your language, so I’m doing it all an injustice. But it truly is one of my kind’s most delicate processes. Very fast - a star takes a minimum fifty-thousand earth years to reach its smallest stage, which is just a blip in the void - but precise and perfect. ‘Mechanical’ would probably be the closest English equivalent, but that’s far too dull to really describe it.”

    Dean blows out a puff of air and says, almost whispers, “The language barrier ain’t the thing keeping me from getting this, Cas.”

    Cas squeezes his hand. “Stay with me.”

    In which back-from-the-empty Cas and Dean have a heart-to-heart about stars in a snowy field in the middle of nowhere.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,018
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    1,752

    05 Jul 2026

  16. Public Bookmark 54

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    Summary

    Even though Chuck has been defeated and the world has been saved, there's no going forward for Dean with Cas still trapped in the Empty. After pulling off a rescue, Dean hopes that he'll be brave enough to take the necessary step and tell Cas how he feels. But, convinced Cas no longer feels the same way, he stays silent. With everything they've ever wanted close enough to taste, will Dean and Cas be able to face one more moment of vulnerable honesty before it's too late?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,075
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    229
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    2,988

    03 Jul 2026

  17. Public Bookmark 36

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    Summary

    Dean Winchester hadn't wanted anything in a long time. When he was young, he’d cried himself to sleep wanting his mother back, and when he was older, he'd wasted time wishing his father wouldn’t leave for another month-long hunt. It didn’t take long for Dean to learn that wanting was just the shortest route to disappointment. So, from an early age, he learned to focus on what he needed instead: to keep Sammy safe, have food in his belly, and always obey his father.

    As he got older, the needs changed, but the pattern remained the same. He needed to hunt monsters, save the world, and drink himself into a stupor more often than he’d care to admit. When other needs arose, he satisfied them with whichever woman would have him for the night, always careful never to want anything—or anyone—beyond what was necessary for survival. Needs were simple—uncomplicated, instinctual, and painless. Wanting, on the other hand, was for suckers, for lucky bastards naïve enough to believe life was fair. Dean knew better; he knew the darkness, and the monsters in it, were real.

    So, whenever Dean’s subconscious betrayed him by dreaming up the things he wanted, he dutifully ignored it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,353
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    231
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    2,372

    03 Jul 2026

  18. Public Bookmark 57

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    Summary

    It isn’t fast, all rushed confessions and desperate kisses, tumbling into a bed and crashing into each other with frantic relief like meteorites.

    What happens after Cas is taken from him isn’t fast at all.

    ***

    Dean won't let Cas die that easily.

    After a knee-jerk, slightly reckless rescue mission, Dean finds himself without aim and without conflict for perhaps the first time in his life. Is it possible for him- for them- to grow after all this time?

    And of course, in the centre of it all (hasn't he always been?) is Cas. Maybe the after wouldn't be so bad with him.

    (OR: Dean and Cas come together in fits and starts, over a thousand firsts.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,438
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    258
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    2,220

    03 Jul 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    A hundred times the creatures of purgatory fuck Dean, and how Cas keeps him sane through each one.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    372,893
    Chapters:
    90/90
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    451
    Kudos:
    1,802
    Bookmarks:
    311
    Hits:
    199,996

    03 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Collections:
  20. Public Bookmark 15

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    Summary

    Even after his father is dead, Dean doesn’t stop hunting; and it’s not as if he should, but he doesn’t let Sam rush headfirst into danger even when Sam wants to, and he doesn’t let Castiel protect him, either, because he still lives in that place in his mind that tells him this is his responsibility, and he’ll get no help from anyone.
     

    Just a short and sweet fic about Cas trying to convince Dean he doesn't have to carry the world on his shoulders.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    534

    02 Jul 2026

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