asteriel
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The Awkward Face-Off between Shen-Laoshi and Yuan'er by asteriel
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
04 Jun 2023
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Shen Qingqiu ends up toppling through a dimensional rift face first onto a very familiar bed. No, there's no papapa, get your mind out of the gutter! (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!)
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A casual afternoon on a tour bus involves Pete doing inexplicably Pete-like things the moment he spots Patrick.
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Two Chicago cats in love.
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"Dude, is there really a heavenly choir?" Joe is insatiable with questions, poking and prodding Patrick whenever he appears. He seems to have forgotten about the way his eardrums were ruined when Patrick tried to talk to him, or the way that the psychic’s eyes burned out when she saw Patrick's true form. Hell ruins common sense, apparently.
"No,” Patrick says. “We’re soldiers of God.”
Pete snorts. “Soldiers of God don’t wear argyle sweaters.”
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eggs are not a synonym for love (e.a.n.a.s.f.l.) by asteriel, awake_atnight
Fandoms: Fall Out Boy
05 Apr 2015
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Pete's a stale pretzel, Patrick's an egg, and their love was meant to be. Andy the Protein Bar and Joe the Cauliflower continue to have existential questions about their metaphysical state of food-sentience. Gabe Saporta just wants breakfast.
(a sweet and surreal "I am Bread" au)
Recent bookmarks
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Lost in the throes of a post-divorce midlife crisis, Harry signs up to be the new Hogwarts Defence professor. Unfortunately the post is still destroying perfectly decent professors left and right, and Harry can’t break the curse without special help.
Which is how he ends up with the Resurrection Stone on his finger and with the shade of Lord Voldemort as his co-teacher.
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- English
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- 15,032
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Bookmarked by asteriel
17 Jul 2026
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There lies a boy at the heart of the chamber. He's not a day over sixteen, limbs still draped in Hogwarts black and Slytherin green. There is no wound marring his corpse, no sign of struggle, no blood but for the colour that hasn’t left his cheeks in fifty years.
As Harry falls to his knees beside him, the ghost of Tom Riddle watches from a distance, spinning plans.
(Or: there is a monster in the Chamber of Secrets.)
- Language:
- English
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- 8,102
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by asteriel
17 Jul 2026
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- Words:
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Bookmarked by asteriel
17 Jul 2026
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apostasy
noun. the abandonment of a religious belief or political principle“I killed your parents,” Tom points out. “There’s a piece of me out there who wants you dead. Will you kill him too?”
“Isn’t that a bit like suicide? Killing a part of yourself?”
“Then surely,” Tom stretches out, red-brown eyes meeting Harry's, "Killing you is suicide for me, for you are part of me."Less than a ghost, more than a spirit, Harry Potter grows up with the companion of a broken boy.
Or: the lines between tom riddle and harry potter blurBookmarked by asteriel
16 Jul 2026
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Directionally Challenged and Reluctantly Participating by Origin_Of_Symmetry
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Apr 2026
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His gaze sweeps down and then back up, very pointedly noting, “you’re not wearing clothing,” like he’s either trying to determine why Harry isn’t wearing clothing, or why Harry would open the door not wearing clothing.
“Merlin, fuck, what!?” Is Harry’s rather eloquent response.
Harry Potter: Recently orphaned, newly appointed junior lord in the Wizengamot, with no life direction and absolutely zero clue what he’s doing.
Lord Thomas Gaunt shows up one morning at his door, asking for a favor, and Harry quickly finds that it’s not something he can easily refuse.
- Language:
- English
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- 83,027
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- 3/3
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- 331
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Bookmarked by asteriel
16 Jul 2026