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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    “Are you… are you saying that you want to be in a relationship with Shane Hollander?” The room held a sort of tension, like everyone in it was holding their breath, waiting for Ilya to vehemently deny it.

    The reporter had taken his words in the complete opposite way than Ilya had meant them, but he supposed he was too committed to stop now. “Of course not.”

    “Of course.” The reporter parroted, laughing nervously.

    “Obviously, we are already in a relationship.”

    In Ilya’s rookie season, he impulsively jokes about dating Shane to an invasive reporter. Then, he just… keeps doing it, since publicly announcing it enough times that everyone writes it off as a joke is a great way to hide a clandestine relationship.

    Language:
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    Words:
    11,038
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    17 Jun 2026

  2. Rec *

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     “I need your help.” 

    Ilya peers up again and raises an eyebrow. He pauses the video he was watching. “With?” 

    Shane fidgets. “I, uh… I can’t– I mean, I can but I’m not very good– Fuck, listen, just– Ineedyoutohelpmewithsex.” 

    A pause. A long pause. Ilya blinks a couple of times, mouth twitching at the corners. Then,

    “You need me to teach you how to fuck your girl, Hollander?”

    Shane needs help satisfying his girlfriend, Jessica. He turns to his roommate, Ilya, for help.

    Language:
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    10,079
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    1/1
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    572
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    05 Jun 2026

  3. Rec *

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    Shane Hollander has been out of the dating game for a few years. Deciding to get back into it, he goes to a speed dating event recommended by a friend. He isn't expecting much, just a chance to get his feet wet, but is surprised to meet the love of his life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,335
    Chapters:
    10/10
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    03 Jun 2026

  4. Rec *

    Words:
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    01 Jun 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Ilya Rozanov really, really wants Shane Hollander's asshole. First they got cockblocked by a snowstorm. Then Hollander, certified anxious flower that he is, decided to play hard to get. Ilya has spent almost two years periodically texting his rival, hoping the latter will finally agree to hook up again. Ilya hopes to stumble upon the correct sexting-to-rage-baiting ratio, enough for Hollander to get over whatever mental hurdles he's having.

    And then, as luck would have it, Ilya meets Shane Hollander's ex-girlfriend Jessica. Of course, Ilya is not above playing dirty in order to achieve his goals...

    Chaos ensues, unlikely friendships are forged through general assholery, and jury's still out on who takes the crown as greatest menace of them all.
    ___

    A mostly funny, occasionally wholesome story about friends who have your back, even when they're dicks about it! Told mainly through texts and tweets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,176
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    360
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    1,981
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    367
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    23,734

    31 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

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