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The Last Will and Testament of Cazador Szarr by AbigailMoment
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
16 Feb 2026
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Summary
"First," said Gale. "Do not kill any thinking creatures in Waterdeep unless you must to protect yourself or you have my express permission."
As Gale spoke, he could feel the weight of his words sinking into the person sitting across from him. It was like casting a spell, but took no effort. Astarion had been staring hollowly into his goblet of blood, but at this he made a faintly interested noise. As if the rule were novel and he was considering the shape of it.
"Second, you will obey me in all things," said Gale. There didn't feel like there was any honest way of softening that. Astarion didn't make any sound at all.
"Third, do not leave the tower without permission." Astarion made another speculative noise, considering this one too. But then his shoulders hunched and his eyes skittered down, as if he didn't want to look at what was about to happen.
"Fourth," Gale said, and paused. He started with some context: "There is a tressym upstairs."
Astarion's head twitched. He looked up at Gale, blinking, startled. He had the air of someone who had been bracing for a blow and instead had just been handed a balloon animal.
"A what?" he asked.
Series
- Part 1 of Will & Testament
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 234,499
- Chapters:
- 61/61
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8,425
- Kudos:
- 5,949
- Bookmarks:
- 1,357
- Hits:
- 218,845
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
14 Oct 2025
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your blood for my heart (my love you already have it) by what_on_io
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
09 Jul 2024
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Summary
"There's a ritual, you see. Not the kind you're thinking, don't worry. But it does require the, ah, blood of a mage to complete."
Gale's stomach twists painfully. "Oh. I see. Well, It’s not like I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice myself once, right? For you, Astarion, anything."
Astarion turns slowly to face him, blanket still hitched up to his chin. “You think… you think I want to sacrifice you?”
Astarion figures out a way to walk in the sun again, and heads to Waterdeep to enlist Gale's help. They, obviously, fall in love along the way.
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
09 Apr 2025
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Bodies, Suns, and Other Forms of Currency by DevilsSacramentCatering
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
26 Aug 2024
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Summary
As their options dwindle in Baldur's Gate, Cazador sends Astarion to Waterdeep. It comes with a lot of perks. Most notably, he's far from Cazador, sending victims by boat instead of personal delivery.
Astarion has a simple plan in Waterdeep. He will seduce the wizard, learn what magic keeps Cazador at bay, then flee. Free at last.
The wizard in question, though? Absolutely sexless. Impossible to seduce.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,070
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Comments:
- 298
- Kudos:
- 739
- Bookmarks:
- 170
- Hits:
- 16,972
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
01 Apr 2025
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Stop One Heart From Breaking by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
06 Nov 2020
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Summary
Jaskier's been a ruined omega for six years now. He's been bought by more alphas than he cares to count, and sold on again; he knows how this works.
Being bought by a witcher is a new level of terror...and then it turns out it's not just one witcher, but three. Jaskier is fairly sure he's going to die.
And then it turns out that witchers really don't act much like human alphas at all.
Series
- Part 1 of I Shall Not Live In Vain
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,779
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 923
- Kudos:
- 8,262
- Bookmarks:
- 1,411
- Hits:
- 155,046
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
23 Mar 2025
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knowledge (and all of its consequences) by Folie_a_duex
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
24 Nov 2024
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Summary
He’s familiar with the space Viktor takes up, standing next to him by the blackboard or sitting down at the tables. He knows how Viktor will shuffle underneath Jayce’s arm to correct a mistake in his maths, or rewrite a messy theory while Jayce prattles on about the next steps. He knows the surprising sturdiness of Viktor’s cane, as it smacks at his ankles when Jayce doesn’t make room fast enough.
Viktor is no stranger to Jayce.
~~~
This is just 23k of Jayce being hopelessly in love with Viktor. That's it. That's the fic.
Series
- Part 1 of stupid in love (jayvik)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,233
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 330
- Kudos:
- 12,147
- Bookmarks:
- 2,430
- Hits:
- 154,787
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
26 Jan 2025
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Hold Out For One More Drink by forlorn_crows for CarnivorousVoid
Fandoms: Ghost (Sweden Band)
25 Aug 2024
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Summary
Guppy. The quint ghoul watches the petname hit Rain’s brain and settle there, making his hips falter in their swaying. He makes an unconscious noise, momentarily stupored. But the haze is gone the next time he blinks, replaced with the almost imperceptible dilation of his pupils. A few sparkles of amethyst blend into his normal cerulean irises, indicative of Aether’s little trick he’s just begun to play.
It’s simple, really. A little post-hypnotic suggestion, if you will.
“That’s a new one; have you called me that before?” Rain giggles a little and takes another sip of his wine.
Oh, has he.
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
22 Sep 2024
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Summary
Most days, Terzo feels like a haunted house. People shuffle up close in curiosity to take a look, but run away when the curtains shift. Phantom has run towards him, not a shred of fear or trepidation in his face as he threw the curtains back and looked inside.
Phantom’s attention is like sunshine after a long winter, and Terzo is afraid of freezing again. He’s not someone to be held in such a bright gaze for long. He’s too worn, too strange.
Absently he scratches at the stitches on his throat and finishes his cigarette.
Or: the love story of two idiots so oblivious Lucifer himself despairs.
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
15 Jul 2024
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Rain needs to have his wisdom teeth extracted — an uncommon predicament for a ghoul. Dewdrop is there for him in the days that follow, showing a similarly uncommon side of himself.
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
24 May 2024
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Phantom’s first haircut topside. He struggles with feeling safe, struggles to believe that this new place is really any better than the pit he was pulled from. Not to mention he’s surrounded by ghouls both bigger and stronger than he is. He finds comfort where he least expects it.
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
22 Feb 2024
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Summary
It has always been a bit like that, when Dew is feeling that the weight does not lift, that the voices and noises do not quiet down, he reaches for Mountain. And no matter how far, how near; if idle, if busy, on Earth or in Hell, Mountain is always there for him. In a second, without hesitation, Mountain simply has never failed him.
AKA I fell asleep on the keyboard and 5K words of unnecessarily flowery smut appeared (*audible gasp*)
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
15 Dec 2023
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Summary
Phantom was the newest quintessance ghoul. Skittish and silent, the pack wants nothing more than to bond with him, to love him. But Phantom is afraid. Afraid to let himself be loved no matter how he longs for it.
They can't know what's under his mask. They'll hate him for it, reject him, and he'll be alone. After seeing how they interact, Phantom would rather be erased than sent back to the Pits where all he's known for so long was the empty void of loneliness.
Preface to polyghouls. This is Phantom's first month after being summoned.
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
09 Dec 2023
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“Witcher, may I offer you, along with your coin, a night in our finest brothel?”
Geralt narrows his eyes, hums, says, “Fine with just the coin.”
“I promise you would not be disappointed. You’d have all the amenities. A bath, food, lodgings for the evening. And of course the company of whichever individual you might desire.”
Geralt almost says no. It would be so much effort, to go to the brothel, to have someone picked out for him, to do the song and dance of what everyone always expects from him. But the free food and bath is enticing, and he’d be a fucking idiot to turn down a free fuck. “Sure,” he mutters. “So long as it’s free.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,121
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 648
- Kudos:
- 2,396
- Bookmarks:
- 571
- Hits:
- 40,217
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
18 Sep 2023
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“You’re not carrying me.”
“I don’t mind,” the lifeguard says easily.
“I can just hop over.”
“On sand?”
Zuko will never admit it, but being carried feels pretty nice. The lifeguard sets him down and eyes him warily.
“Are you really all by yourself?” he asks in a worried tone. “No friends in town you can call to check on you?”
“No,” Zuko confirms. Tears are forming again with alarming speed; his foot throbs painfully with every passing second.
“What kind of burrito do you want?”
“You don’t have to —“ Zuko repeats.
“I’m getting al pastor. You like al pastor?”
AU: Zuko falls for Sokka, the super hot lifeguard who helps him after an unfortunate encounter with a stingray.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,302
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 366
- Kudos:
- 5,057
- Bookmarks:
- 1,023
- Hits:
- 41,991
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
28 May 2023
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Sokka receives an offer of an arranged marriage from the Northern Water Tribe. On the one hand, accepting would strengthen ties between their tribes. On the other hand, Chief Arnook has suggested Hahn as a potential match, and Hahn sucks. But with the future of the Southern Water Tribe Reconstruction project relying heavily on the good will of the North, Sokka doesn’t know how to say no.
(Katara doesn’t have to deal with this. Katara is dating the Avatar.)
Zuko has a solution. Sokka just wishes he’d realized he was in love with the Fire Lord before he agreed to pretend to date him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,574
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 672
- Kudos:
- 8,081
- Bookmarks:
- 1,440
- Hits:
- 79,319
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
27 May 2023
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Summary
Sakusa just wanted to be left alone.
The Kitsune had other ideas.
Series
- Part 1 of Fox Fire
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 44,755
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 280
- Kudos:
- 1,205
- Bookmarks:
- 261
- Hits:
- 22,326
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
28 Apr 2023
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With a Conquering Air by inexplicifics
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
28 Mar 2020
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Summary
From the kinkmeme: AU Warlord!Geralt receives Tribute!Jaskier as a sacrifice to appease him in every way possible. Jaskier has no choice on the matter and he’s fully aware of the awful rumours that have spread about Geralt and his ruthless conquests. (But we all know those aren’t legit.) A classic angst with a happy ending please! A dash of smut to heal those scars and a sprinkle of new found love!
Jaskier arrives at Kaer Morhen knowing his family gave him up without a second thought, and absolutely sure that the dreaded Warlord of the North will value him even less than his own blood did. But the White Wolf and his pack are not what Jaskier expected...and if he's unreasonably lucky, Kaer Morhen might become far more of a home than Lettenhove ever was.
...He is, in fact, going to be unreasonably lucky, because the Warlord of the North is a far finer monarch - and a far better man - than Redania's king has ever dreamed of being.
Series
- Part 1 of The Accidental Warlord and His Pack
- Part 1 of The Accidental Warlord and His Pack - Recommended Reading Order
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,880
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 77
- Comments:
- 2,442
- Kudos:
- 30,090
- Bookmarks:
- 6,911
- Hits:
- 769,025
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
30 Dec 2022
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“Kageyama didn’t know what power of ‘change’ he possessed, as every God’s impact was different, but he learned little by little that at his hands things could flourish. Starting with Earth, Kazuyo guided his hand. Kothys had created life, but had not put them anywhere- so together, Kazuyo and Kageyama created Earth. They carved mountains out of the soil by the handfuls and blessed what crater remained with water. He enriched the soils, gave them vegetation and able bodies to sow the lands. He blessed the world with prosperity and peace, and Kazuyo praised him.”
Or the one where Kageyama is a God who needs to fall in love with Humanity all over again, and Hinata unknowingly helps him.
Series
- Part 1 of Far Away Places
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
13 Aug 2022
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Contingency Planning by thirty2flavors
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
25 May 2022
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Summary
“I’m not planning your funeral.”
“Someone has to.” Viktor isn’t even looking to see the way Jayce glares at him. “Either we do it together now, or we wait, and you can do it… later. On your own.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,820
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 446
- Kudos:
- 6,130
- Bookmarks:
- 1,240
- Hits:
- 44,895
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
16 Jul 2022
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“Hey, Miya—”
“I saw the sex stuff in your bathroom,” Atsumu violently blurts against his will.
Time stretches out, eternal, unending… the void at the beginning and end of all things coming to claim Atsumu as he stands in his borrowed house slippers by Sakusa’s door. There’s a ringing in his ears, or perhaps it’s the laughter of some vengeful god.
Sakusa’s expression doesn’t outwardly change. His eyes feel like they’re drilling holes in Atsumu’s head.
“It’s not sex stuff. It’s bondage gear.”
Series
- Part 1 of Terminal Curiosity
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,966
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 34
- Comments:
- 414
- Kudos:
- 21,014
- Bookmarks:
- 3,312
- Hits:
- 521,427
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
24 Jun 2022
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Summary
When Thanatos falls in love with the kingdom's trouble-making crown prince, he is not expecting it will amount to anything more than a passing infatuation. He is also not expecting to be made the prince's bodyguard, and he is certainly not expecting the prince will ever love him back.
Thanatos, it transpires, is wrong about many things.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,099
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 144
- Kudos:
- 3,818
- Bookmarks:
- 888
- Hits:
- 27,408
Bookmarked by UtmostCalamity
22 Feb 2022